Verti-KOK, part 1
by Horace E. Cow on Feb 28, 2012 11:00 AM CST
in Batshit Insanity
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PrintOne month ago at the Monterrey Bay Aquarium.
Is there anything more wondrous than the sea, Kirk?
Ken, I think they're serious about not tapping on the window.
Aww, the little guy likes it. Hey, pal! What adventures you must have!
Yeah, sure. Can we get out of here?
Frolicking in the sea, eating fish, free as the wind, it must be grand. If only...
You know that dolphin is essentially an animal prisoner, right? He would bite your face off if it meant getting out of this hellhole. Then squeak his ass off as he high-tailed it for Miami Beach.
Poor guy. Now I know why the caged dolphin squeaks. I feel your pain, little fella. [to himself] That gives me an idea... but how... I'VE GOT IT! [makes call on cell phone]
Look, what's next on the itinerary? [sotto voce] I should have never put that clause in his contract that we have to take a couples vacation once every 12 years.
Just one more place. Then we'll be done.
A quick car trip later.
A mission? Come on, Ken, we could be recruiting right now.
Oh, this won't take long. I just want to see the bell tower.
Damn this is a lot of stairs. I'm feeling a little dizzy. It's like I've got that thing...
Vertigo?
No, I think it's called "Bell Tower Dizziness Syndrome". Let's just keep going.
The two reach the top.
Ken, can we please leave? My "Bell Tower Dizziness Syndrome" is kicking up something fierce.
Just a few more seconds. There's something I have to do.
Suddenly the deafening sound of jet engines fills the air.
What the hell is that? Jet engines are the worst thing for BTDS!
I think I'm going to black out. What is that logo on that jet? It looks like a dol -- Ken, what are you doing?! No, don't jump!
I have to! It's the only way I can fly free! Free like the dolphin!
NOOOO--dolphins can't fly--OOOOO!!!! [Blacks out]
Sucker.
Aboard the Dolphin team jet
This is highly unconventional, Mr. O'Keefe.
I had to do it this way, Dan Marino. I never could have gotten away from him otherwise.
Well, Joe Philbin wanted you, so you must be worth it.
Darn tootin'. Now, Dan, let me tell you how you could have been a really great quarterback: all bootlegs, all the time.
...
I said "all bootlegs, all the time".
...
I said "all boot" -- oh, maybe I should clarify: it's a football play, not a literal boot or anything.
I know what a bootleg is, you corn-fed piece of ... Look, let's just get some shut-eye. It's a long trip to Miami.
To be continued ...
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Agreed...
…I wish there was a way to just scroll through all of the tags. Like a tag index. That would probably be good for a laugh.
I get all of the tags except for
Maya Angelou. I dunno, sotto voce?
by DrHenryKillinger on Feb 29, 2012 9:46 AM CST up reply actions
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is her autobiography
"Shh, I don't want this notion that I can be level-headed getting around it will totally ruin my online rep" - HoyaGoon
sotto voce?
the Ferentz era as a symphonic work would be three movements of mezzopiano, an unexpected sforzando for one movement of mezzoforte to keep the audience tuned in, then a nice diminuendo poco a poco back to mp. And there would be outrageous turnover among the violins and other delicate skill positions in the woodwinds, exacerbated by those times when the conductor moved them from their recruited seats to the back rows playing percussion or (gasp) viola.
/sprinkle jokes on poor rhythm and timing, KOK as first chair violin, and conductor’s rate of pay to taste
Son of a bitch, I'm sick of these dolphins.
@keepitupguys
by sailorjerry on Feb 28, 2012 1:00 PM CST reply actions 6 recs
...
I’ll just rec, but I don’t understand it.
White Horn Gold Pants
by DM_Purp on Feb 28, 2012 3:13 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Rec'd for honesty
"Shh, I don't want this notion that I can be level-headed getting around it will totally ruin my online rep" - HoyaGoon
I had to think back to my music reading to figure this out, but superb!
Twitterz: @EnergizerHawk
by EnergizerHawk on Feb 28, 2012 3:32 PM CST up reply actions
I'll translate (roughly)
you can understand the english parts…
medium soft
a quick build up to medium loud
a steady softening little by little back to medium soft.
Violin is the most prestigious section in the orchestra.
Viola is very much not.
A move from violin to viola is akin to being demoted from AP classes in school to that group of students who have to go to a special teacher for extra help in reading comprehension or basic speach.
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