FanPost

Sall(e)y and friends

(dateline - wee hours Saturday morning following Black Friday loss at Kinnick. location - Prez Salley Maison's office)

..........

PSM - Pour me another one Gary.

GB - /reaches into Coleman cooler and pulls out icy Old Milwaukee, pops top and pours into Mason jar.

PSM - /takes long drink followed by tentative sigh. Do you honestly think we should keep Big Tuna around 'til 2020? I mean, really who in their right mind signs off on that type of deal for a......../trails off

GB - Well, you know....he is considered one of the best teachers of the game and the best developer of talen.....

PSM - /abruptly interrupts C'mon Gar - don't feed me that tired old line! I want to see Hawkeyes that spit blood and chew nails! I want a spread attack that exploits a defense's weak spot. I want a defense that blitzes the hell out of the Q-B and doesn't play prevent-cover-two the entire game. Most of all, I want a coach that isn't a FREAKING CYBORG!!!

GB - Shhhhhh! Don't you think that was just a little loud?? Someone is sure to find out if you keep that up.

PSM - Oh, I don't care! I am sick of pretending to despise football. I didn't put in 8 years on the Chiefs practice squad for nothing!

GB - I know. I know. That is still between you, Eddie, and me. And might I say again the reconstructive plastic surgery turned out marvelously.

PSM - It's just become a bitch of a job to keep his identity under wraps lately. Honestly, a freaking punt to gain 11 yards of field position? People are asking questions, Gar, and it's becoming more difficult to answer them with the way shit has been going. What do you think, Bob?

AIRBHG - Sal, you know that I have been holding up my end of the bargain. I mean, who honestly would've thought after this many years of taking down tailbacks that he would've been able to hold it together? Honestly.

PSM - We hire Kirk Ferentz 7000, let him go a few years, fabricate his undoing and turn him loose once the timing is right for........well, you know who. How freaking hard should it be to get rid of a half man-half machine?

AIRBHG - No one saw 2002 coming, Sal, no one. Well, except me, and - well, Mr. Banks wasn't exactly a running back, so..........

GB - O-three and o-four.....who could've imagined.....

PSM - /interrupts abruptly Yeah, I know Gar! Now the guy, a human no less, who should be running the show is coaching receivers in Little Havana!

AIRBHG - Ummm...not to bring down more rain on this parade, but I think Big Tuna may be on to me as well.....Weisman is....

PSM - /interrupts Yes, I know - Jewish. He may have figured something out there. We are just going to have to get more creative boys.....

*names have been changed to protect the identities of the innocent.

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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