After 59 days of deliberation Iowa coach Kirk Ferentz is finally ready to share with the world his choice to replace Norm Parker and it is Phil Parker. It is, to be sure, a big day for Iowa's reflective and purposeful coach. In all likelihood, if he has hired well, Parker will be the man that takes Ferentz and the Hawkeyes to the next level of success.
We know today is going to be more than the formal introduction of Phil Parker though. In fact that bit of news turns out to be just the tip of the iceberg, as we now know Ferentz is attempting to completely recreate his staff without bringing in more than a couple of new bodies.
To some today's announcement is likely to be viewed as if Ferentz bought a used table lamp and rearranged some furniture and is now going to try to claim a total makeover. But some might be won over, because if the sofa is comfortable and in good shape why replace it. It should be noted Ferentz is very unlikely to reference this metaphor or any other metaphor.
So what should we look and listen for today as Ferentz announces his new hire and the reorganization of his staff? Let me count the ways:
(after the jump)
1) Will the first words out of Kirk Ferentz's mouth be, "It's a great day to be a Hawkeye!"? (Or will he instead say, "It's a great day to be Phil Parker!")
2) Will Ferentz use the words overjoyed and thrilled more than 5 times? (Actually, will he use those two words at all?)
3) Will Ferentz claim that Phil Parker was the one guy he wanted all along? (Or, will he insinuate that after an exhaustive search he realized, having not made a major hire in years, that "the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know?")
4) Will Ferentz claim his coaches have been longing to be reassigned these particular positional responsibilities for years and this was the logical moment to act on those requests? (Or, will he say reassigning positional responsibilities is pretty standard operating procedure in the coaching world especially when someone retires or resigns and "I just experienced both of those, so to make anything more of this is making a mountain out of a molehill. Next question please?")
5) Will Ferentz be wearing a coat and tie, a Hawkeye embroidered polo shirt, or an ascot with a fedora?
6) Will Bob Brooks, at some point, interrupt another reporter in midsentence to ask Ferentz if he's "fired up"?
7) Will Phil Parker be asked if he's related to Jeff Van Gundy or Tyler Sash?
8) Will Phil Parker use the term philosophy, system, or scheme when describing his defensive approach? (Or, will he just say I do things "The Phil Parker Way.")
9) Will Ferentz say, "Kodak moment" at any point in the presser? (And, if so, will Bob Brooks look up from his Polaroid Instamatic bemused when Ferentz says it?)
10) Will Ferentz close the press conference by stating somewhat cryptically: "It's not nepotism if the guy's worked for Belichick."
Enjoy the day everyone; because whatever happens today this is as close as it gets to noteworthy change in Iowa City when it comes to football.