FanPost

Some Hate Week love for Iowa State.


Because, let's be honest, hate is unhealthy in the long run, and we're bigger people than that.

But, you ask, what's to love about Iowa State?  Well, boys and girls, gather 'round and let me tell you.

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Love Jamie Pollard, a man whose weasel visage has spawned innumerable BHGP memes over the years.  A man whose hubris caused him to place billboards proclaiming ISU's superiority twenty miles from Iowa City, and whose football teams have scored three touchdowns on their supposed inferiors in the five years since those billboards went up.  A man who fires coaches that built programs from ashes into competitiveness, and replaces them with incompetent windbags who skip town for more money in less than two years.

Love Jack Trice Stadium, a multipurpose stadium/wind tunnel/cheerleader-grazing ground that any high school in Texas would be proud to call their own.  A place named for a man whose tragic death at the feet of opposing players has, ninety years later, become a Shakespearean metaphor for a program: great dreams, crushed under the wheels of an unforgiving reality.  A place that was once the state of the art, and now stands as one of the world's largest jokes rendered in physical form.

Love the ISUCF"V"MB, a marching band who will never be able to find enough letters in enough alphabets to mask the silliness of that penguin-walk thing they do when leaving the field.

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Love that Jebus had Cyclone fans' moms last night, and that they were good (insofar as Cyclone fans can be good).

Love their football team.  In 1977, there was no question which program was the best in the state, and it wasn't the one in Iowa City.  Then Iowa hired some guy named Hayden, and ISU hired a bunch of guys named Jim.  Twenty years passed, and the former best program in the state was transformed into a running joke on ESPN.

Love Ames, an insular college town overshadowed by the capital city to its south with infinitely more activities, dining, and all-around fun.  A place where, even in "Cyclone Country", there lives a substantial population of Hawkeye fans, because even there they know that Iowa is better.

Love Cy, a cardinal's head grafted onto a shapeless mass of red fuzz with arm-and-leg-like appendages flopping forth from it.  A creature that has been grafted on logos, until it was realized how ridiculous the juxtaposition of a bird and a tornado looked, and who was then unceremoniously dumped upon the mounting trash heap of genericism that came before it.

Love Seneca Wallace, the unquestioned hero of Iowa State football.  A man who led Cyclone football to precisely zero bowl wins, but is adored because he beat Iowa twice en route to 7-5 and 7-7 seasons, while watching the Hawkeyes go 7-5 and 11-2 with two bowl wins in that same time span.

So I say unto you, my Hawkeye brethren, don't hate Iowa State.  Love them.  Love them, and reserve your hate for those who deserve it (i.e. Minnesota).

That is all.  Go Hawks.

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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