VIDEO: What was that Iowa State nickname, Fox News?

PSD found this video last month, but it's relevant now, so here we have it--a Fox news commentator introducing Ames and Iowa State University in a manner that is not at all embarrassing no sir:


I, like 95% of Americans, never watch political television at all, so I'm just going to guess that the guy speaking is Chris Wallace since that's the only name that comes up in the intro graphics. I'm sure he's either just the best or just the worst depending on what political views you hold and we really have no desire to have that discussion take place in the comments so please spare us all, because you're 100% missing the point and it will get you banned and nobody will feel bad for you whatsoever.

The point instead is that deliberately, exquisitely enunciated "Cyclowns" from Wallace's mouth, which is delightful mainly because what the hell? It'd be like if some other national news television personality introduced Iowa as the "Squawkeyes" or whatever the slur du jour might be, but with a totally straight face and an inflection like that's the actual name and he or she is just saying it as a momentarily helpful piece of background information but nothing to do with the main topic at hand. It's like meeting your boss at his house for dinner for the first time and he warmly introduces you to his entire family before ending with "...and this is our loving dog, Syphilitic Titweasel. Good girl. Now if you don't mind I'll show you the basement first, because there's a great home theater system I just had built..." Come to think of it, "Iowa State Syphilitic Titweasels" flows magnificently off the tongue. And nobody would call ISU the "Cyclowns" on cable political tv ever again. Give it a thought, Jamie Pollard. That one's on me, no charge.

So ISU... what up with that? Bad recon by the producer before the show? Wallace suffering the world's fastest stroke mid-word, then recovering immediately? Rogue agent on the teleprompter? There is a history of that, after all. We want answers just as much as the rest of you Syphilitic Titweasels--I mean Cyclowns--I... oh forget it.

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