The Iowa Lottery announced recently that it has struck a sponsorship deal with the athletic departments of Iowa, Iowa State and Northern Iowa. On Friday, the details of the promotion were announced in a press conference headed by Iowa Lottery spokesman Charles E. Jackson . BHGP was there, and has this transcript:
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There will be a black box, sponsored by Midwest Box Mfg. and featuring attractive etchings of typical Iowa scenes, that we will place at the center of the field at halftime of their respective homecoming games. Local school-children will be encouraged to enter the contest, and then we will have the parents of the children come on the field and draw their names and then the winning children will get a ... prize.
It's that noticeable, is it? I thought the concealer might help, but ... Well, that is from another sports/lottery partnership I organized in Virginia. There were ... complications. But that is none of your concern. As for the prize, it's just beyond that door there if you would like to see it.
[Marc Morehouse exits through door]
[30 seconds pass]
The worthiest cause: Iowa football excellence. You see, we at Iowa Lottery believe that there is a balance to the universe. You can call it a life force, chi, karma, or, as we at Iowa Lottery do, the Norse pantheon of Thor, Odin, Frigga, Baldur, Hel and Loki. No matter what you call it, though, there's no avoiding the fact that success on the terrestrial plane does not come free.
Ah, a question I can answer with exactitude: $248,000.
Okay, there is obviously something going unsaid here. Something weird. There's this creepy guy missing half a face wearing a bowler hat and talking about a lottery and a black box, Marc Morehouse is missing... I would be remiss as a journalist if I didn't ask some tough questions about this "sponsorship".
[motioning henchman back] You know, sir, upon reflection I think you're 100% right. The design is insensitive and "corny" if you will, and we can do better. We'll even open the box design to a state-wide ballot.
Indeed... and Loki most of all. Iowa sports and the Iowa Lottery: It's a Great State Tailgate!