With the season fast approaching, it's time to take a look at Iowa's schedule and profile one opposing player who could be an important factor in each game.
Date: October 8
Team: Penn State
Player: Derek Moye
What you need to know:
Who is this jabroni?
He's a 6'5" 210 lb senior wide receiver from Rochester, PA.
What has he accomplished?
In the last two years, he has caught 101 passes for 1670 yards and 14 touchdowns. Holds a career average of over 16 yards per reception. Got third place in a karaoke contest at a local bar for his surprisingly decent rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. He once sucked a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose. Sort of knows how to change a tire.
Why should you be concerned about him?
- When he was 9, his dog was run over by an Iowa fan. Total accident, but he has never forgotten.
- Looks like he could rock a pretty sweet faux-hawk if he wanted to.
- Spent the entire off-season choreographing an elaborate touchdown dance for this game.
- Guys named Derek are never that good at anything.
He looks like he has pretty good hands, so BHGP was forced to plant a spy at PSU's practices and secretly replace all the footballs with things that no one in the world would ever want to catch.
A very hairy ass:
Guy Fieri's head:
A Coldplay album:
At this point, I'm pretty sure he'll be gun-shy enough to get the fuck out of the way of anything thrown in his direction for the rest of his life.
Predicted Stat Line: 16 targets, 0 touches. Pretty good if it were a dodgeball game.
- Tim Benford - Tennesse Tech
- Jake Knott - Iowa State
- Brandon Lindsey - Pittsburgh
- Ken Dorsey - ULM
- Royce Bonenberger - The Summit