Players to watch for in 2011: Ken Dorsey - University of Louisiana Monroe

With the season fast approaching, it's time to take a look at Iowa's schedule and profile one opposing player who could be an important factor in each game.  

Date:  September 24

Team:  University of Louisiana Monroe

Player:  Ken Dorsey

 

What you need to know:

Who is this jabroni?

He's a 6-5 200 lb quarterback from Orinda, CA

What has he accomplished?

What hasn't he accomplished?  He's completely rewritten the school record book.  He has over 9500 passing yards, 86 touchdowns, 668 completions and 38 victories as a starting quarterback.  He's passed for over 200 yards in a game 31 times, he once threw 193 consecutive passes without an interception, and went 31 consecutive games with a touchdown pass.  Not exactly a lightweight.

  Why should you be concerned about him?

  • He's a 2-time NCAA National Quarterback of the year
  • He's a 2-time Heisman finalist
  • Led the Miami Hurricanes to an undefeated regular season.
  • He was drafted in 2003 and played in the NFL for 5 seaso.....wait, what the fuck?  None of this sounds right.

Why should you not be worried about him?

  • Because it's a different Ken Dorsey.
  • This one plays for U-LM
  • I don't even know what fucking position he plays.

What is the most likely outcome?

Marvin McNutt roasts him.  Like, for real.  He jams a goalpost up his ass and roasts him like a marshmallow.

Mcnuttroast_final_medium

S'mores time, bitches!

 

Predicted Stat Line:  1 tackle, 5 incomplete passes, 2 rushing yards, 1 missed field goal.  (Seriously, I don't know what position he plays.)

 

 

 

Previous Installments:

  1. Tim Benford - Tennesse Tech
  2. Jake Knott - Iowa State
  3. Brandon Lindsey - Pittsburgh
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker