With the season fast approaching, it's time to take a look at Iowa's schedule and profile one opposing player who could be an important factor in each game.
Date: September 10
Team: Iowa State
Player: Jake Knott
What you need to know:
Who is this jabroni?
He's a 6-2, 243 lb junior linebacker from Waukee, IA.
What has he accomplished?
Recorded 130 tackles last year, good enough for 2nd in the Big 12 and 12th in the nation with nearly 11 per game. Garnered 2nd team All Big 12 accolades and honorable mention for Big 12 Defensive POY.
Why should you be concerned about him?
- He's going to be on the cover of the Cyclone media guide. The Cyclone media guide is serious business.
- He was offered a baseball scholarship to Iowa.
- He's the chairman of the South Carolina Senate Invitations Committee and a Vietnam veteran.*
Why should you not be worried about him?
- Looks like he probably sunburns easily.
- Had surgery in the spring. Sources say it was either buttock implants or a broken arm.
- He's a poor decision-maker. For instance, he decided to play football at Iowa State.
What is the most likely outcome?
Nolan MacMillan spots him prancing around like a headless chicken on one of Iowa's nine end-arounds and decides to channel Marshall Yanda and plant him so fucking deep into the turf....
.......that his head pops out in China.
(You see, because China is on the other side of the world.)
Final Stat Line: 1 solo tackle and 15+ pile-jumps
*Probably a different Jake Knott.