Big Ten Media Days: Joey And The Bobber

by Adam Jacobi on Jul 28, 2011 12:01 PM CDT in Iowa Hawkeyes Football

OKAY

...sir?

YES

Is that your opening statement? Just... "okay"?

I NEVER HAD MUCH USE FOR THE FILIBUSTER, JUNIOR

I see.

THAT REMINDS ME OF THE STORY I TOLD TODD BLACKLEDGE ROUGHLY 30 YEARS AGO. TIMES WERE DIFFERENT THEN, AND PEOPLE DIDN'T LOOK AT FOOTBALL PLAYERS THE SAME WAY THEY DO NOW. IT'S THE INTERNET, I TELL YOU. THE PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET, THEY JUST LOOK AT DETAILS AND NOT THE REAL MEASURE OF THE MAN, HIS BENCH PRESSES AND THE COMMITMENT TO THE TEAM AND HIS PERFORMANCE IN THE SCALP-THE-SAVAGE DRILL.

sir

ANYHOW TODD CAME TO ME ONE DAY AND ASKED ME IF HE COULD HAVE A DAY OFF ON ACCOUNT OF HIS SISTER WAS SET TO BIRTH HER FIRST CALF

sir

THAT IS A JOKE

I MEAN IT WAS TO BE A HUMAN BABY, AND IT WAS, IT WAS A REAL BABY BOY

sir, nobod

SO TODD ASKS ME FOR THREE DAYS, ONE FOR CELEBRATION WITH HIS FAMILY, AND ONE DAY FOR TRANSPORTATION EACH WAY. IT WAS THE MIDDLE OF JULY AND HE WAS MY CLEAR STARTER, SO I SAW NO REASON TO DENY HIM THE TRIP, AND SO I GRANTED IT TO HIM

...and?

THAT'S ALL

Sir, Bob Zook with BHGP with a question!

WHO

Bob Zook!

WITH WHOM

BHGP!

NOW YOU LISTEN HERE GOOD AND CLEAR, SON. I WAS RAISED THAT MEDIA OUTLETS WEST OF THE MISSISSIPPI BEGIN WITH K, AND EAST -- WHERE ALL THE RESPONSIBLE MEN LIVE -- WE START WITH A W

AND I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A B-STATION

IS THIS A COMMUNIST'S PLOT

NAME YOUR SUPERIOR, COMRADE

Heh, closest thing I got to a superior is my hombres .38 Special!

SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS' RECTUM, THIS RAVING DRIFTER IS THREATENING TO BRANDISH A FIREARM AT ME

N-n-no, .38 Special is a rock band!

HE IS NOW RAVING ABOUT ROCK COCAINE

SECURITARYYYY

sighhh

I'm on it, JoePo!

/handcuffs the shit out of Bob Zook

/fondles own cleavage

dang it all to hell

but awesome

NO MORE QUESTIONS FROM SOVIET OPERATIVES PLEASE

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Comments

Well

That didn’t last long.

I'll just put COMING SOON down here.

by mikjones24 on Jul 28, 2011 12:06 PM CDT reply actions

Had I known that SexyCop would be at B10 Media Day,

I’d have made the road-trip to Chicago.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Jul 28, 2011 12:06 PM CDT reply actions

Yeah,

where do I sign up for her to handcuff the shit outta me?

"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer

by Flakbait on Jul 28, 2011 12:09 PM CDT up reply actions

THAT IS A JOKE

awesome

"He lowballed us and said: 'Take it or leave it. If you don't take our offer, you are rolling the dice.' I said: 'Consider them rolled.' " - Jim "Huge Brass Balls" Delaney

by ClaybornSmash on Jul 28, 2011 12:09 PM CDT reply actions

Awww, I want a securitary!

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jul 28, 2011 12:20 PM CDT reply actions

I had no idea that JoePa was

even aware there was an internet. If you would have asked me yesterday, “does joepa have any idea about the internet?” I would have responded, “negative”

You never know what you are going to learn from the BIG media days.

All my good friends at BHGP helpled pick this most awesome name!

TOUCHDOWN IOWA! TOUCHDOWN IOWA! - Gary Dolphin
I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! - Jim Zabel

by Bloodpunch's Barbasol on Jul 28, 2011 12:28 PM CDT reply actions