The Big Ten Put The Football Championship Game In The Wrong City In Indiana
by RossWB on Jun 5, 2011 11:30 PM CDT
in Batshit Insanity
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PrintYes, I already FanPosted the news, but it occurs to me that this Big Ten Championship Game-to-Indianapolis news is still annoying. Not because they're putting the game in an anti-septic bubble to appease big-money donors and promote some asinine sense of fair conditions (never mind the fact that both teams would still have to play in hypothetical inclement weather or that a climate-controlled dome may provide the equivalent hypothetical advantage for offenses built on speed and passing that inclement weather may have provided to teams built on power and rushing). Not because they're putting the football championship game in a basketball-mad state. Not even because in terms of "cool places I'd like to spend a weekend" Indianapolis isn't even in the same notebook as Chicago. And not because it could provide a homefield advantage* to the Big Ten's native Hoosier State teams, Indiana and... that other one that's listed in some of the literature. "Purdue," I think it's called. (The one that, if they actually exist, would be Our Most Hated Rival.)
* No it couldn't.
No, it's annoying because if they were going to put the game in Indiana, there was a better choice than Indianapolis, dammit. That's right: Pawnee: The Factory Fire Capital of America.
Why, it's a city so progressive that it supports women boxing men:
via www.details.com
It also knows what to do with filthy communist Russian intellectual-types:
via www.details.com
And Pawnee did prove their big event bona fides with their kick-ass Harvest Festival this year. So, really, Jim Delany, please reconsider your terrible decision to place the Big Ten Championship Game in Indianapolis. There's still time to change your mind. Find a heart in that withered husk you call a body and do the right thing. If nothing else, do it in the memory of Li'l Sebastian:
via www.nbc.com
TFJ to commenter Ill Jukes and the power of synchronized thinking. And watch Parks and Recreation if you're confused; you'll be less confused and more entertained.
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I heard there's this other school in Indiana
It’s supposedly filled with Catholics.
Cheering for inconsistent, undisciplined teams [Twins, Wild, Packers, Hawkeyes] since 1989. "False Hope is better than No Hope"
Valparaiso's is full of Lutherans.
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Jun 5, 2011 11:41 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
Well done.
+1
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Jun 6, 2011 12:27 AM CDT up reply actions
And Earlhams filled with Quakers
not that anyones heard of that school. but it happens to be where I go…. not that anyone cares haha
Congrats?
Certainly, there has to be a Baptist school or two somewhere in Indiana?
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Jun 6, 2011 12:29 AM CDT up reply actions
Wait,
so we have a real Quaker that reads BHGP?!
WOW! I eat your oatmeal at least three or four times a year!! Oh, and I drive past your cereal plant every day. I can’t believe I’m talking to a real Quaker!
Are you on, like, Rum-Springer or something?
Say whatsup to Wilford Brimley for me.
"Pockets full of weed, chewing tobacco, wrapping papers and dental dams"
--HFMR Running the Beermile (tfj @ HawkeyeRecon)
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Jun 6, 2011 9:47 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
I feel sorry for you
I drive past your cereal plant every day
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jun 6, 2011 9:59 AM CDT up reply actions
It was a sad day in BoilerHawk's life when Li'l Sebastian passed away.
It needs to be in Pawnee for him.
He prefers laying wreaths to lighting torches
and if you knew him, you’d know that.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
by Patrick Vint on Jun 6, 2011 12:42 AM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
Delaney is already screwing things up enough.
I don’t need Amy Poehler involved in my B1G TEN.
Although, I’m pretty sure Anzari would have thought of some names way better than Leaders and Legends.
/I don’t watch Parks and Rec, I’m just throwing out names to act like I’m part of the cool kids.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
While we may not need Amy Poehler in our B1G
a little Nick Offerman wouldn’t be so bad
Leslie Knope would straighten Delany out in no time.
Then go out for waffles.
"There are no Pan Asian supermarkets down in hell, so you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts." - The Mountain Goats
Amen
Leslie Knope would put on a championship game whose awesomeness would likely cause a riot in Atlanta the likes of which has not been seen since W.T. Sherman strolled through town.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
Just imagine the corn maze!
"There are no Pan Asian supermarkets down in hell, so you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts." - The Mountain Goats
I will be referring to Lucas Oil Stadium as the Snakehole from now on.
"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."
by SomeJerkPoster on Jun 6, 2011 12:34 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Just wait until we get to play twice a year, Hawkeyes
BTW, i just got banned from Along the Olentangy for using this subject line.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
Banning mods from fellow B1G SBNation Blogs...
Wow… Way to make friends ATO
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Jun 6, 2011 9:10 AM CDT up reply actions
Maybe they're trying to set a record over there
for most users banned. Does SB keep score or something?
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
They've actually now mandated that there is to be no further use
of verbs or pronouns. That site will eventually just collapse into a black hole.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jun 6, 2011 10:35 AM CDT up reply actions 4 recs
Einstein's theory of the loss of grammatical momentum
Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen
by Lycurgus on Jun 6, 2011 10:39 AM CDT up reply actions 4 recs
Andy Katzenmoyer is their mod.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jun 6, 2011 11:01 AM CDT up reply actions 4 recs
Talk about super-density
Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen
by Lycurgus on Jun 6, 2011 11:05 AM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
This is an incredible series of comments.
"Colonel, I do not care to die, but I pray to God I may never leave this field."
by ReadingRambler on Jun 6, 2011 11:29 AM CDT up reply actions
I second this!
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride!" HST
No verbs or pronouns?
I guess I’ll be ending a lot of sentences with prepositions.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Jun 6, 2011 10:44 AM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
As midwesterners...
We’re bound by blood contract to do that anyway. Where you going to?
Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute
by tigerhawk00 on Jun 6, 2011 11:04 AM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
Where you at?
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Jun 6, 2011 10:00 PM CDT up reply actions
i keep trying to get banned at ATO
but it won’t happen
makes me wonder if my tax dollars are at work?
or they have sympathy for a guy wtih a trache
and a titanium hip
Long Live the Pellican Whore - like FOREVER
now they have vid
of the tressel love fest sat
and as always, they don’t give a damn about the whole state of michigan
Long Live the Pellican Whore - like FOREVER
A name like BoilerHawk always keeps you welcomes at H&R
Just don’t post a comment at 4:39pm. god help you if you do.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
What's so important about 4:39?
Is that the 19 minute interval after 4:20?
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Jun 6, 2011 10:01 PM CDT up reply actions
Ugh.
I hate this decision so much I can’t even laugh at something funny or try to make a clever or snarky comment. They’re taking the easy way out. What really annoys me though, is just how many people think the Big Ten is right to play this game in Lucas Oil Stadium (I hate writing that so much – even if Soldier Field does look moronic). We’re split about halfways at BSD, with at least one guy I normally respect saying it’s the “right call”.
"Colonel, I do not care to die, but I pray to God I may never leave this field."
Can't we use that stadium in Pasadena for this?
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
by StoopsMyAss on Jun 6, 2011 7:19 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
I say we kick out Northwestern so we don’t have to play this dumb game anyway. Extra revenue would then go missing, but who cares? It’d be worth it.
Nebraska and Ohio State, you’re on banning notice too.
"Colonel, I do not care to die, but I pray to God I may never leave this field."
by ReadingRambler on Jun 6, 2011 7:22 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
They could just tell JNW that they are now the second, academic-only member of the Big Ten
Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen
I'm losing interest in Purdue...
not a bad place to start. Besides, those guys are in Indianapolis all the time I bet.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
Note that RR is not using a subject line. And he’s threatening random schools with a “banning.” I wonder if the guys over at ATO have brain-washed him?
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Jun 6, 2011 9:17 AM CDT up reply actions
I go back and forth on the subject line.
"Colonel, I do not care to die, but I pray to God I may never leave this field."
by ReadingRambler on Jun 6, 2011 9:40 AM CDT up reply actions
Me too!
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride!" HST
I mean, me too!
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride!" HST
i told them over on corn nation
when they referred to the homeland
as cyclone country
they need to revise their whole mantra
it is the HAWKEYE state
Long Live the Pellican Whore - like FOREVER
The football stadium in Pawnee may be li'l
but Li’l Sebastian’s heart was anything but li’l. Plus the stadium has dope ass apps and zerts and really powerful cool blasterz (with a z I don’t know why) so we should all just get in our go-go mobiles.
I have recently become very obsessed with Parks and Rec.
by A True Americanzi on Jun 6, 2011 8:08 AM CDT reply actions
Doesn't matter where the game is played
After we win, we’ll all be in Costa Rica, eating dolphins and hanging out with lady singers.
I like the way you think.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Any opportunity to post this is a good opportunity.
…and you can’t collapse the image because I have nothing in the subject line. You’ve been Olentangy’d!
@jschnauzer
Bloggin' at http://joepasdoghouse.com
by Cairo on Jun 6, 2011 8:49 AM CDT reply actions 5 recs
That gif does nasty things to my browser
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jun 6, 2011 9:59 AM CDT up reply actions
Yup, fucked mine up, too.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jun 6, 2011 10:38 AM CDT up reply actions
Second'ed
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Jun 6, 2011 10:03 PM CDT up reply actions
Have these twits ever been to Indianapolis?
I’m aware of it having two things – NASCAR and a serial killer that buries his victims in manholes. WTF sports gods? WTF?
Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute
You are aware of it having Nascar,
but not the open-wheel race that made the town famous?
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Jun 6, 2011 10:11 AM CDT up reply actions
Chazz... really?
I think it’s impressive that I know that much about the town. It’s like finding someone who is an expert on the Coelacanth.
Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute
Lycurgus bait.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jun 6, 2011 10:31 AM CDT up reply actions
Shouldn't your expertise...
…be in the formation of Greek city-states?
Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute
Should expertise be limited to just one pursuit?
By the way, from now on tigerhawk00, you can only carry around iron currency and you must refrain from fighting the same men two summers in a row.
Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen
I'll remember that the next time...
…I’m involved in a Peloponnesian conflict.
Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute
You've one-upped me...
My Poly-sci degree only got so deep in that shit. Now, if you want to talk about the fallacies of Marxist doctrine and its relationship to Stalinist Communism… let’s go!
Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute
I have a 5-year plan to get you with the pogrom
as Comrade Harty would say
Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen
That's easy
Marxism- From each according to ability, to each according to need.
Stalinism – Work yourself to death for the glory of the state. Or else.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
Boer troop movement across the Transvaal
should be a concern of yours lest the British leave Cape Town undefended.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jun 6, 2011 11:24 AM CDT up reply actions
Oh, I would not worry about the Boers
we have placed all of their women and children in concentration camps. They will capitulate shortly and then we will have all of the gold, all of it.
Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen
I have an uncle who lived there for about 5 or 10 years,
but I don’t think I ever visited him there. In fact, I think I’ve only driven through Indy a couple times, never really spent much time there.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Jun 6, 2011 10:45 AM CDT up reply actions
Did he ever ask to borrow a crowbar...
…or perhaps google “locations of manhole covers in Indianapolis” from your computer?
Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute
No.
Is this some sort of reference I should be aware of?
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Jun 6, 2011 11:24 AM CDT up reply actions
Ever since Delaney snagged Nebraska
I think he has been determined to find out just how many really horrible decisions he can get away with before somebody dope slaps him.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
Next they're going to tell us that the men's basketball tournament will be at Indy.
Oh wait… gahhhhhhhhh!
http://visitindy.com/indianapolis-events-big-ten-mens-basketball-tournament-2012
@jschnauzer
Bloggin' at http://joepasdoghouse.com
His decision making became ... unsound
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Jun 6, 2011 11:56 AM CDT up reply actions
"What are they going to say about him? He was a wise man? He had plans? He had wisdom?"
BULLSHIT, MAN!
"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."
by SomeJerkPoster on Jun 6, 2011 12:41 PM CDT up reply actions
You have a right to kill me.
You have a right to do that… but you have no right to judge me. It’s impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
When I think of Indy ...
I think of all the redneck crackers on “Cops.” Cutoff jorts – but not nearly as classy as HFMR – and a Manning #18 jersey tee.
But I’m being mean. Why hold the premiere event of your showcase sport in a world-class city when you could hold it in East Methapolis?
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Jun 6, 2011 11:51 AM CDT reply actions
"when you could hold it in East Methapolis?"
Wait, they’re holding it in Davenport now?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Boom! I'm roasted.
and my reply earns me an auto-ban from OTL.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Jun 6, 2011 12:26 PM CDT up reply actions
Shit. Wrong acronym. Banned again.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Jun 6, 2011 12:27 PM CDT up reply actions
Well, you did go outside the lines with that.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Jun 6, 2011 12:38 PM CDT up reply actions
Wouldn't that be Moline?
With Davenport as West Methapolis?
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jun 6, 2011 12:32 PM CDT up reply actions
Rock Island: East Methburg
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Jun 6, 2011 1:15 PM CDT up reply actions
Fuck Indianapolis.
Are you mad Delaney? What the fuck made you think this was a good idea?
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Jun 6, 2011 12:08 PM CDT reply actions
The fact that the fans didn't rise up and burn down the Big Ten headquarters
after the embarrassment that was the announcement of the division names and conference trophies. He has all the power and it is almost as if he is seeing how far he can push the fans until we decide we won’t take it anymore and rebel. a la The Whiskey Rebellion (that ones for you Rambler)
He ran off earlier after I disagreed with him about Grant.
Leaving that aside, I really don’t know what Delaney is thinking. It’s like every day is Opposite Day at B1G HQ.
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Jun 6, 2011 6:06 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm back.
And you’re still a blockhead.
"Colonel, I do not care to die, but I pray to God I may never leave this field."
by ReadingRambler on Jun 6, 2011 6:24 PM CDT up reply actions
This is all a ploy to continue to press Our Lady to join the Big Ten
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
yo get the priests in?
cutting their travel expenses
(can you imagine the bill for their big east travel? surpassed maybe now by the texans)
we got enough golden domes
not sure touchdown jesus is worth it
Long Live the Pellican Whore - like FOREVER
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