In response to my recent blogging apathy, The Benevolent Order of Pants convened to discuss an appropriate punishment.  They compiled a list of things I hate: exercise, tube socks, wizards, jean shorts, etc...and then tried to think of an assholish way to combine them all.  It took them 2 weeks of intensive brainstorming, but finally one day Jacobi came back from a 45 minute shit-break and said, "I've got it!  Let's make that sonofabitch run a marathon." That's when Vint and Ross stopped Jazzercizing just long enough for both of them to agree.

And so it was decided:

Fearing blogspulsion, I even agreed to pimp their shirt.

  Any serious runner will tell you: hydration is the key. 

For perspective on how fast I was running, I actually started the race wearing jeans.

Pretend I made a money-shot joke here, that way you don't have to in the comments

Tastes like victory.

First off, I'd like to give a big shout out to Dale's Pale Ale without which none of this would have been possible. Second of all, before you get all impressed, I was actually doing a relay so I only ran the last 6 1/2 miles of the race. Sorry for splashing weaksauce all over your faces.  No, I'm not.  #FollowAdam_Jacobi