It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It Is Feeling Hopeful
It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It is BHGP's regular news roundup. Send all tips to any of the email addresses at the bottom of the page. Please direct all offers for penis enlargement to HFMR.
* Well played, Michigan fans. Courtesy the Twitter feed of Douglas Ray Williams and blog-buddy Kegs 'n Eggs:
Now that's good trollin'.
* The future cometh. Iowa basketball held their annual team banquet yesterday and while from a strict numbers perspective there wasn't a whole lot to celebrate (a second straight season with 20 losses, another first-round exit in the Big Ten Tournament, and a finish near the bottom of the conference), the players and coaches are choosing to look on the brighter side of life:
"Around town there seems to be a lot of excitement and people are excited about the new recruits and ending the season on a somewhat better note," incoming Iowa senior Matt Gatens said. "We beat Purdue (in the season finale) and played hard against Michigan State (in the Big Ten Tournament), a game we probably should have won. It’s nice for everybody to be positive and on the same track.
"It makes it more fun when there’s excitement about the team here around the community. But nothing’s been done yet."
Hope was a commodity in short supply for the Iowa basketball program until recently -- for players, coaches, and fans, frankly -- so it's a good start; hopefully it leads to a few more actual wins next year. As Doc goes on to note, a big part of that hoped-for improvement will come not just from the improvement of the returning players, but also from the influx of new faces, all of whom address clear needs for Iowa:
Each of Iowa’s four recruits add a skill set that likely helps on the court. Cedar Rapids Washington guard Josh Oglesby is a 6-foot-6 shooter who can play multiple guard positions. Strongsville (Ohio) forward Aaron White is 6-8 can play anything from the wing to the post. Junior-college guard Anthony Hubbard (6-5) is a slashing scorer who can make plays off the dribble. The newest signee, 6-10 Gabe Olaseni of Sunrise Christian Academy, is a shot blocker who can run the floor.
Fran also talked a bit more about Olaseni (and gave Gary Dolphin some pronunciation pointers, which will no doubt be summarily forgotten), and while a more appealing style of play and hope alone don't bring more Ws, they do apparently put more butts in seats: around 2000 more people per game showed up this year, good for the fifth biggest attendance bump in the NCAA. Finally, Jarryd Cole won the Chris Street Award for the second-straight season, Melsahn Basabe was named Freshman of the Year, Bryce Cartwright was named Playmaker of the Year, Matt Gatens won the Defensive Player Award, Eric May won the Academic Award, and Andrew Brommer and Roy Devyn Marble won the Most Improved Award.
* Of Bats and Balls. The Minnesota Twins spent the weekend enduring the house of horrors known as Kauffman Field, but luckily for denizens of the Twin Cities, the Iowa baseball team was in town to ensure that there was no shortage of shitty baseball to be had at Target Field. The weekend started with a gut-wrenching loss on Friday: Jared Hippen pitched a complete game one-hitter -- but Iowa still lost, 1-0, primarily because the Hawkeye hitters got eight hits, but left nine men on base and couldn't plate one measly run. The anguish continued Saturday, as Iowa rallied from a 3-0 deficit to force extra innings, then took a 4-3 lead in the top of the 10th before losing 5-4 in 12 innings. The loss dropped Iowa to 1-5 in 1-run games in Big Ten play. They did at least manage to avoid getting swept by the Gophers, notching a 7-1 win on Sunday behind strong hitting from Mike McQuillan (3/4, 2 RBI), Chett Zeiss (2/5, 2 RBI), and Tyson Blaser (2/5, HR). The 1-2 weekend dropped Iowa to 16-25 overall, 5-10 in B1G play, still good for dead last in the league. Whatever (on-field) momentum the baseball team generated last season has been pretty well frittered away this year, barring a stunning run in the last month of the season.
* Apparently Lincoln was a linksman. The turnaround of the Iowa golf program under Mark Hankins has been remarkable, but it hasn't culminated with the winning of any significant trophies yet -- and that drought didn't end this weekend, as Iowa finished 3rd at the Big Ten Championships, held at the Kampen Course on the campus of OMHR. Iowa finished with a team score of (+29), behind Illinois (+8) and just Northwestern (+27). (Naturally jNW does well at a country club sport; would you expect anything less from our Armani-clad overlords?) Chris Brant was the standout golfer of the tournament for Iowa, finishing even par for the tournament, good enough for a runner-up finish one stroke behind Illinois' Luke Guthrie, who carded the lowest score. Iowa did take home one trophy from the event, though: senior Vince India won the Les Bolstad Trophy, awarded to the golfer with the lowest stroke average during the season (71.08). India finished in the top-15 in all nine stroke-play tournaments he competed in, with 8 top-10 finishes. Failing to win the Big Ten Championship means that Iowa didn't get an automatic berth into the NCAA Regionals, but they're still expected to land an at-large bid.
HEAD SHOTZ
* Hawkeye Locator completed their polling to determine the greatest Hawkeye athletes of all-time, finally settling on the four faces to affix atop a mythical Hawkeye Mount Rushmore: Nile Kinnick, Chuck Long, Tim Dwight, and Dallas Clark. I guess we really are a foootball school.
* Iowa won the men's and women's sprint medley events at the Drake Relays, which also included one of the best-named Iowa athletes: Majesty Tutson.
* The National Football Post tabbed the best undrafted players on offense and defense, including a few Hawkeyes (Allen Reisner, Jeff Tarpinian).
* Former Iowa basketball player Steve Carfino has apparently settled in Australia and turned himself into the Aussie hoops version of Gus Johnson. We approve. (Also great, the color commentator: "NOTHING BUT COTTON!")
* This is probably why Stanzi was always more of a Captain America guy.
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Faster than a speeding bullet, indeed
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on May 2, 2011 4:06 PM CDT up reply actions
Yeah, but he never made any money.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
subtle and effective
I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.
Completely missed that the first time through
Thanks for pointing that out
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on May 3, 2011 8:46 AM CDT up reply actions
Noticed it the first time
but just now realized that it was a bin laden reference.
Subtle indeed.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on May 3, 2011 11:33 AM CDT up reply actions
Now that I read Doc's article a bit more closely, I see that he and Brommer shared the award.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Shocking. So the Iowa Mt. Rushmore as voted by Iowa fans consists of:
(a) a white guy from Iowa;
(b) a white guy from Iowa;
© a white guy from Iowa; and
(d) a white guy
Never would have seen that coming.
Damn you, autocorrect.
I am, in no way, attempting to copyright “a white guy from Iowa”.
I'm more confused about who Nile Ninnick is.
Is he related to Birk Berentz?
"There are no Pan Asian supermarkets down in hell, so you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts." - The Mountain Goats
D'oh.
And THANKS A LOT to the many people who read that piece without saying anything and letting me look like a dumbass for four hours. You bastards.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
if thats as it gets
youve lived to key another day
as for me
i see not your transgression
but i look the other way a lot
cance will do that too
for pennance avoid the three hail whatevers
just hug someone you love
thats a much better use of your energy
shanti
Long Live the Pellican Whore - like FOREVER
Hey!
They included a white guy from Illinois! How much diversity do you want?!
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
We have both kinds
country and western
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on May 2, 2011 5:03 PM CDT up reply actions
Stanzi probably decided:
“Who needs Supes when you’ve got Soup?”

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
Not to totally geek out...
but I read about Superman somewhere else, and the article pointed out that Capt. America actually renounced the USA during the Watergate scandal. So who, then, is Stanzi a fan of?
"Hardcore will never die, but you will."
Duh!
Nixon. But then again, who isn’t?

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on May 2, 2011 6:48 PM CDT up reply actions
The Republic of Vietnam.
"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs
by ReadingRambler on May 2, 2011 7:25 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
YAY Royals!
I don’t mean to pick your nits but it is Kauffman Stadium, as opposed to Field and it is a lot nicer than it used to be.
Whatever farm animal of war, Lana. Shut up!
I thought it was Kauffman Stadium, as well.
But since it was Ross, I thought I wouldn’t bitch about it. But then it looks like he wants us to bitch about it. This whole situation is a bitch.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on May 2, 2011 9:42 PM CDT up reply actions
Haven't read the article
but DJK wasn’t included in the best available undrafteds?
"There are few things graven in stone, except that you have to squat or you're a pussy." -Mark Rippetoe
Nope.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
He's not included anywhere.
Is Ferentz actually actively trying to keep him from the NFL? That would be horrible.
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
I highly doubt that.
There are plenty of talented college players who don’t cut it in NFL. I know we love DJK and that he was very productive for us, but it’s not like he had ideal size or speed. I do hope DJK gets a chance, but there are a lot of receiver-types with his physical and/or statistical profile.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
by RossWB on May 3, 2011 1:11 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
DJK was always going to struggle to make the NFL
I don’t know if he would have been drafted without the arrest and suspension. Probably not above the late rounds at least.
by H I McDonnough on May 3, 2011 2:39 PM CDT up reply actions
The answer to your question is yes.
Duh.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
I'm not sure about that, other than the pro day thing.
I’m guessing Ferentz just isn’t omitting or sugar-coating anything when draftniks or scouts ask him questions.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on May 3, 2011 4:57 PM CDT up reply actions
C'mon Chazz, get serious.
If you honestly believe that during Spring practice Ferentz isn’t taking time away from the team to contact scouts, general managers, coaches, and the like in order to sabotage DJK’s draft status you need to get your head out of the sand.
Furthermore, DJKs disinclusion from most of the media covering the draft is exactly Ferentz’s style. I, for one, am appalled.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
Ferentz started the Civil War and blamed it on DJK to keep the Southern teams from drafting him.
Just another drifter who broke the law.
by ReadingRambler on May 3, 2011 7:38 PM CDT up reply actions
Wade Boggs once drank 64 beers on a cross country flight.

He’s also not very good at denying it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
Are you serious?
I’m not buying if so.
by ryjadubya on May 3, 2011 10:08 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Are you emplying that Im stupid?
Because if Im so stupid than how come I can name all 50 state capitols?
Alllllaaa – bama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkan – saw…
Need I say more?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
Uffdah.
Making fun of my misspelling of ‘capital’. Truth hurts sometimes. Funny post.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on May 3, 2011 11:31 PM CDT up reply actions
The golf team has me totally verschtumpfted
We had the best golfer in the conference and another first team all-conference golfer and yet we totally under-perform at the conference tournament. We get Brant back next year but Indie is history, this was the year to take it all and we just couldn’t beat out jNW. Like I said; this is just so farshlepteh krenken.
"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants
How did I miss this
Please direct all offers for penis enlargement to HFMR.
oh right, because no one reads the intro anymore.. very sneaky.
He sired a baseball team... An orchestra, if you count the bastards!
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on May 3, 2011 2:09 PM CDT reply actions
It's all bullshit anyway,
I called yesteday after I got back from my trip to [REDACTED] and youjust get put on hold for like, 20 minutes and the music is like Kenny Gee maybe or something and then you get someone and theyt transfer you and you get put on hold again I think it;‘s all fake or maybe the numbers ’ real buyt its’ not really a penis enlargement place. I cold hear giggilng. too.
Cuz the heart of rock n roll, heart of rock n roll is still beatin'..... in Cleveland
....Detroit!
That's what I jheard anyway, I didnt' call but Kyle told me all about it.
Cuz the heart of rock n roll, heart of rock n roll is still beatin'..... in Cleveland
....Detroit!
I figured you had all the aphrodisiacs scoped, dude.
You are my first call for advice on chemicals.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on May 3, 2011 3:53 PM CDT up reply actions
























