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Assume the Position 2011: Running Back

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Assume the Position is our offseason guide to the Iowa Hawkeyes football depth chart.  The math is difficult, so take it from us: As time moves on, we'll know more.  That's why we rank the positions from most certain to least certain.

Previously:
1. Quarterback
2. 
Tight End

Today: Running Back

There were seven players profiled in last year's Assume the Position: Running Back.  Five of those seven are no longer with the program, and the guy at the top of this year's list -- the guy who has this position so high on the list -- wasn't one of those two.

You win again, AIRBHG.

A New Hope

Marcus Coker (#34, Sophomore, 6'1", 230, DeMatha Catholic HS (Beltsville, MD))

This will be the fifth season that BHGP has chronicled Iowa football.  In that time, Iowa has started the season with five different halfbacks on the top line.  The next one up is Marcus Coker, the nineteen year old wrecking ball who broke out in last year's Insight Bowl win over Missouri.  Coker was something of a garage sale find for Iowa: He put up nearly 1200 yards rushing and 19 touchdowns as a high school junior at DC-area powerhouse DeMatha Catholic when Iowa began pursuing him.  He committed to Iowa (with other offers from Minnesota and Wake Forest) in late August, after he and his mom had driven in for an unofficial visit, based in no small part on Iowa's use of Shonn Greene; Coker was seen as a fullback to his other suitors, but was the ideal size for an Iowa halfback.  His senior season (1600 yards and 20 scores) turned him from a lightly-recruited potential fullback to a four-star recruit with interest from most of the ACC and Big East.  Iowa kept pressing, though, and Coker's commitment remained firm.

He wasn't even supposed to play last year.  With three young backs in front of him and Paki O'Meara as the last-ditch backup option, the depth chart was full.  Complicating matters was the collar bone Coker broke during August camp, the kiss of death for virtually any incoming freshman.  Yet, while he didn't play in six of the first seven games of the season, Coker didn't redshirt.  In fact, he went for 129 in injury duty against Indiana, 70 while filling in for the academically indigestible Adam Robinson on just nine carries against Ohio State, and 90 on Minnesota.  The season was capped with an MVP performance against Missouri in the Arizona desert: 33 carries, 219 yards, 2 touchdowns.  Shonn Greene never carried the rock 33 times in a game, and never had 219 yards in a game, and he won the Doak Walker.  That's a man's stat line, from a true freshman who didn't participate in August camp.

Obviously, that sets the bar awfully high for his follow-up, and we can't expect 33/219 every week.  But if Coker shows he can be a workhorse for an Iowa offense that loses Captain America under center and Mr. Third Down at the split end, he will have ample opportunity to put up massive numbers.  Iowa wants one back, and they want that one back to punish the opposition.  Ready or not, Mr. Coker (and we're pretty sure you're ready), it's your turn to dance with the AIRBHG.

The Brinson Interruption

De'Andre Johnson (#30, Freshman (RS), 5'8", 210, Monsignor Pace HS (Miami, FL))

One is an occurrence.  Two is a coincidence.  Three is a trend.

So it goes for De'Andre Johnson, who has now gone two seasons without taking a meaningful snap of football.  As a high school senior, he missed the season after tearing his ACL.  As a college freshman, he redshirted while Coker took the post-Hampton, post-Robinson reps.  This spring, Ferentz admitted Johnson wasn't ready yet when he got to Iowa City last August, only 12 months removed from a torn ACL and adjusting to the college game.  The question now becomes whether Johnson, who looked like "a totally different player" this spring according to Ferentz, has enough to beat out Jason White and the incoming freshmen for the spot behind Coker.  At the end of spring, the verdict was still out; White held the depth chart spot, but tenuously, and Johnson got plenty of looks.

Star-divide

Which brings us to today's tangent: Why does this keep happening to Florida-based halfbacks at Iowa?  AIRBHG is usually creative in his choice of how to dispatch of a halfback, but the Florida guys keep getting The Injury That Never Fully Recovers.  Jeff Brinson ended up leaving just to avoid having another tendon in his leg snap like a guitar string.  His once-promising career was finished by it.  The same went for Freddy Russell, who was on medical redshirt his freshman year.  I feel like AIRBHG is in a rut, and calling him out for this means he will either fade away for good or come at De'Andre Johnson like it's Saw IX: The Re-Sawening.

The Man of Mystery

Jason White (#3, Junior (RS), 5'10", 205, Davenport North HS (Davenport, IA))

How much can you know about a player who was completely unrecruited, who has flipped between offense and defense twice in three seasons, who has exactly one carry in his career?  Jason White shouldn't be this high on the list, and yet he exits spring practice on the two-deep.  White walked on at Iowa from Davenport North, where he was a first-team all-conference halfback.  He spent a year at safety -- a spot where walk-ons flourish -- and has been a special teams contributor for two seasons.  Last spring, with every running back injured, White moved back to halfback, and with last year's depth chart carnage has emerged as a viable option.  It still appears unlikely that Iowa will rely on a walk-on converted safety, and yet Paki O'Meara and Adam Robinson happened.

The Bus

Brad Rogers (#38, Sophomore (RS), 5'10", 215, Central Catholic HS (Toledo, OH))

In normal circumstances, you wouldn't have a fullback who is smaller than your starting halfback.  In normal circumstances, you'd flip Rogers and Coker.  These aren't normal circumstances, though, for either Iowa or Brad Rogers.  Recruited as a halfback, Rogers committed early to Iowa with no other offers and only minor interest from minor programs.  He redshirted as Robinson and Wegher emerged, then got some mopup time at halfback while they flamed out.  With Coker's emergence and Rogers' ability as a blocker, all signs point to The Bus taking the graduating Brad Morse's spot at fullback, giving Iowa more versatility and running experience at halfback than it's had in some time.

The question with Rogers is his heart, quite literally.  He was held out of Insight Bowl practices and spring camp with what has been described by Ferentz as "some heart issues."  He underwent diagnostic tests in December, though we haven't been privy to the results.  We're not the kind to demand someone disclose medical information; so long as he's fine, we don't care if he plays another down.  If he's cleared to play, though, he should see significant playing time.  Whether that translates into carries or catches is up to Ken O'Keefe, who has been more and more reluctant to incorporate his fullbacks into the offense over the last decade.

While You Wait for the Others

Rodney Coe (Number unknown, Freshman, 6'3", 240, Edwardsville (IL) HS)

Without reviving the Fiedorowicz and Derby debates, Rodney Coe is another guy who every other program sees as anything but a halfback: Coe received four stars from Rivals and Scout, but as an athlete and outside linebacker, respectively.  He received offers from USC, Florida, Nebraska, Notre Dame, Oregon, and virtually the entire upper midwest, but few saw him as a halfback.  Iowa told him he'd be given every opportunity to win the halfback spot, and Iowa got his signature.  A halfback of Coe's height and size isn't unprecedented; Nick Bell played two years for Hayden Fry at 6'2", 255, and Eddie George won a Heisman Trophy at 6'3", 235.  If Coe's got the speed (and all indications are he does), there's no reason he can't play halfback.

Mika'il McCall (Number unknown, Freshman, 5'11", 210, Thornridge HS (Dalton, IL))

A halfback-sized halfback!  McCall had committed to Michigan State in July.  That is, if you asked Michigan State; McCall was never quite clear of what he agreed to do, and when he took a visit to Iowa in January, MSU cut him loose.  Iowa was more than happy to scoop him up, especially given that two potential starting halfbacks had just left the team.  He's a unanimous three-star recruit and was productive in high school, and Iowa will be expecting him to compete for a depth chart spot from day one.

Jonathan Gimm (#92, Junior, 6'3", 240, Westfield HS (Houston, TX))

If Iowa wants versatility at fullback, it will go with Rogers.  If it wants pure, brute blocking force, it could well go with Gimm, a player recruited solely on his blocking ability; the official highlight video published online by the University of Iowa on Gimm's signing was three minutes of him knocking defensive ends and linebackers fifteen yards into the backfield.  The thought was he would either add 50 pounds and play offensive line or add 25 and play second-string tight end or H-back.  As it stands, Gimm is about as big as he was when he left high school, and fullback might be his best option for seeing the field at all.  If Brett Morse is the prototype, Gimm is his doppelganger.  It remains to be seen if his performance can make him a carbon copy.

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godammitsomuch

I really, really hate you, AIRBHG.

by Roosevelt on May 17, 2011 12:15 PM CDT reply actions  

One year

I just want one year where that Bastard leaves us alone.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on May 17, 2011 3:55 PM CDT up reply actions  

Well, then he'll probably go after like 5 or 6 OLs or somesuch.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on May 17, 2011 9:02 PM CDT up reply actions  

What about Mighty Mouse?

And by that I mean Jordan Canzeri?

"Somebody change JoePa's colostomy bag!"

by JPHawk on May 17, 2011 12:16 PM CDT reply actions  

I was wondering that too

But then thought the incoming freshmen that aren’t listed (Canzeri and Damon Bullock, I think?) are most likely redshirting anyway. Which I would hope so (although I’m VERY curioius about Canzeri and his punt/kickoff return possibilities) to spread out the influx of 4 RBs into the system that had very little left from last year.

by HawkgirlSTL on May 17, 2011 12:25 PM CDT up reply actions  

Dude is tiny

I’d be stunned if he doesn’t redshirt. If one of the freshman plays, it’s going to be McCall or Coe (in that order, I think).

by NorseHawk on May 17, 2011 12:29 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm thinking PV's mindset here

was only those players who have a realistic chance to play, but with AIRBHG, every running back on the roster has a chance to play. Maybe if the did an ATP for special teams missile?

Ok, but on the way we've gotta stop by a toy store and at least get him a stuffed animal, something. It's like...meowschwitz in there. -Sterling Archer

by The Nihilist on May 17, 2011 12:39 PM CDT up reply actions  

damn you italics!!!!

Ok, but on the way we've gotta stop by a toy store and at least get him a stuffed animal, something. It's like...meowschwitz in there. -Sterling Archer

by The Nihilist on May 17, 2011 12:39 PM CDT up reply actions  

I see him more as a special teams superstar

i want that kid returning every single kick and punt after a little bit of training, but i dont know if i want him being our full time running back. not without at least sharing snaps with someone.

by justsomehawkeyefan on May 17, 2011 12:48 PM CDT up reply actions  

Completely Agree

I also feel like he’d be a great option as a 3rd down back (though we don’t really run packages with that set up) or a chage of pace guy for the 4th quarter after Coker has already (hopefully… I’m getting set to sacrifice a lamb to AIRBHG already) pounded the living shit out of opposing defenses. But yes, I agree, kid needs to redshirt and cut his teeth (special teams/kick returns) first.

"Somebody change JoePa's colostomy bag!"

by JPHawk on May 17, 2011 12:55 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yes, this.

If Canzeri sees the field, I’m guessing it’s as a return man. He’ll be chronicled there.

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on May 17, 2011 2:56 PM CDT up reply actions  

YOU SLACKER

ALL PLAYERS AT EVERY POSITION SHOULD BE CHRONICLED

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on May 17, 2011 4:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

Bravo sir
Saw IX: The Re-Sawening.

That is well done

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on May 17, 2011 12:29 PM CDT reply actions  

Just out of curiosity

was this a dig at the Saw franchise making so many movies, an amazing Archer homage to the Enrampagement or both?

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on May 17, 2011 12:42 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm thinking a take off on an old Simpsons joke (Simpsons Did It!)

The Re-Deadening, Homer took Rod and Todd Flanders to see it and they freaked out. And now I’m going to hate myself for the rest of the day for my obscure knowledge of the Simpsons.

I’VE WASTED MY LIFE!

Ok, but on the way we've gotta stop by a toy store and at least get him a stuffed animal, something. It's like...meowschwitz in there. -Sterling Archer

by The Nihilist on May 17, 2011 12:46 PM CDT up reply actions  

Couple of things

(1) I thought the same thing.
(2) There is no such thing as obscure Simpsons knowledge.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on May 17, 2011 3:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

I completely forgot about that episode

Good call

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on May 17, 2011 4:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

McCall's bloodline is impressive

His dad is Oliver McCall, former heavyweight champion. Comes from a family of athletes. He’s going to be an exciting player if AIRBHG fades away.

Iowa hasn’t had a threat at fullback since Jeremy Allen in 2001.

Comedy is where the mind goes to tickle itself.

by Nickhawk08 on May 17, 2011 12:45 PM CDT reply actions  

HOW DARE YOU DISPARAGE THE MEMORY OF ZERON FLEMISTER

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on May 17, 2011 4:40 PM CDT up reply actions  

wha?

Flemister graduated in ’99 and was a tight end.

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on May 17, 2011 4:42 PM CDT up reply actions  

HOW DARE I FORGET WHAT YEAR ZERON FLEMISTER GRADUATED

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on May 17, 2011 5:01 PM CDT up reply actions  

as me sainted pappy used to say

god rest his soul
in a perfect world
none of us would be here

Long Live the Pellican Whore - like FOREVER

by OhioHawk on May 18, 2011 5:26 AM CDT up reply actions  

Does anyone remember the name of the guy who played FB...

just after Edgar Cervantes?

And, after looking it up, I think it was Aaron Mickens. Not really a threat.

I echo Rockyh’s sentiment, in that I’d love to see Iowa find a way to get the collection of FBs about 5 to 7 carries a game. But then again, maybe it wouldn’t work like my NCAA video game where I often use the FB to get 5 to 10 yard gains.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on May 17, 2011 9:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

angel, fetch me that list!

I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.

by sailorjerry on May 17, 2011 12:47 PM CDT reply actions  

Dance with the AIRBHG.

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on May 17, 2011 12:49 PM CDT reply actions  

I REALLY need to start DVRing

Parks & Rec. There are so many shows on Thursday night I like to watch! Damn you TV!

by HawkgirlSTL on May 17, 2011 1:04 PM CDT up reply actions  

You really do

The first season of it was shit but it’s been on fire since then. It’s neck and neck with Community for my favorite comedy on TV right now.

by NorseHawk on May 17, 2011 1:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

And that's probably why I stopped watching

I watched the first season (or at least a lot of the episodes), but never could really get into it. So, I stopped. I still watch and/or DVR Community, The Office, and 30 Rock though. I’ll just add Parks & Rec to the list.

by HawkgirlSTL on May 17, 2011 3:39 PM CDT up reply actions  

Same here.

Watched for about half of the first season. Couldn’t tolerate more.

And the worse part was, during that first season, it was all Amy Poehler all the time (and I kind of dislike her, just from her over-use on SNL). All the other people in that show seem to be the truly funny parts.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on May 17, 2011 9:09 PM CDT up reply actions  

Her character has improved a ton

Early on she was basically a female Michael Scott and it didn’t work at all. The writers realized that after the first season and she’s great now. It’s true that some of the secondary characters are funnier, but that tends to be how it always is.

Basically the first season is worthless aside from an introduction to the world and characters. They didn’t figure out what they were doing until the start of the 2nd season, but once they did the show became great.

by NorseHawk on May 18, 2011 1:39 AM CDT up reply actions  

Looks like I've got another show to catch up on

I also gave up after a couple of shows into season 1.

Many thanks for helping feed my massive TV addiction.

The University of Iowa: the best 6 years of my life. My parents are very proud.

by HawkeyeGirleye on May 19, 2011 2:32 PM CDT up reply actions  

I was thinking something more along the lines of this

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on May 17, 2011 3:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

MAKE IT STOP TONY MAKE IT STOP

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on May 18, 2011 8:48 AM CDT up reply actions  

Goddamn is Aubrey Plaza small.

Spinner alert.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on May 17, 2011 7:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

not Aubrey Plaza

You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on May 17, 2011 8:53 PM CDT up reply actions  

OK, after some research that is Minni Jo Mazzola

in the role of April Ludgate’s sister. I am an idiot.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on May 17, 2011 11:40 PM CDT up reply actions  

PV was 98% certain that Coker would redshirt last year

I will never trust BHGP again.

But AIRBHG – that guy is consistent and reliable.

You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on May 17, 2011 12:51 PM CDT reply actions  

Coke just needs

to average 143 yards per game over 13 games to surpass Shonn Greene.
Piece of cake.

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on May 17, 2011 12:57 PM CDT reply actions  

Did Rogers drop a ton of weight?

Wasn’t he in the 235 range when he came to Iowa?

I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.

by Pain in the Sash on May 17, 2011 1:14 PM CDT reply actions  

Was I the only one confused by this line?

Whether that translates into carries or catches is up to Ken O’Keefe, who has been more and more reluctant to incorporate his fullbacks into the office over the last decade.

by The Mexican't on May 17, 2011 2:06 PM CDT reply actions  

something to do with bulls and china shops

"He was the one that didn't give us a touchdown, ... He didn't officiate for us again." ...Hayden Fry

by chuck longs mom on May 17, 2011 2:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

I was half-asleep when I wrote this

My subconscious mind weeps for Michael Scott, apparently.

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on May 17, 2011 3:04 PM CDT up reply actions  

Here is to hoping that Michael Scarn has to save the Big Ten Championship game

by kicking the world’s longest field goal or save the Big Ten Wrestling Championships by kicking Cael in the balls.

Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen

by Lycurgus on May 17, 2011 3:45 PM CDT up reply actions  

I don't know why he is reluctant.

Because it looks like every actor on the face of the earth is going to make at least a cameo on this week’s Office season finale.

I feel like they could have worked in a Cambus appearance, maybe as a warehouse worker.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on May 17, 2011 9:14 PM CDT up reply actions  

It's a moo point now

But I’m really going to miss the Wegher Leap into the endzone.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on May 17, 2011 3:49 PM CDT reply actions  

Agreed,

I wish we could be sucking from that teet for a couple more years.

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on May 17, 2011 4:19 PM CDT up reply actions  

Cheesus, guys.

C’mon.

"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."

by SomeJerkPoster on May 17, 2011 4:26 PM CDT up reply actions  

Don't have a cow, man.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on May 17, 2011 4:29 PM CDT up reply actions  

Can I toss another chip into this thread?

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on May 17, 2011 4:38 PM CDT up reply actions  

PS Hoyagoon,

the point is mute; not moo!

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on May 17, 2011 4:39 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm sorry, what?

I couldn’t hear you.

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on May 17, 2011 4:39 PM CDT up reply actions  

Improper word usage is a pet pee of mine

Correcting it is a tough road to hoe but some has to do it.

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on May 17, 2011 4:44 PM CDT up reply actions  

no it is totally "moo"

It’s like a cow’s opinion, it’s “moo”, it doesn’t matter. Duh

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on May 17, 2011 10:05 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

I am a closet Joey fan

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on May 18, 2011 8:08 AM CDT up reply actions  

Wegher may be out to pasture,

butter other guys are going to be udderly awesome.

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on May 17, 2011 4:45 PM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

this thread is beginning to curdle

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on May 17, 2011 4:45 PM CDT up reply actions  

COW JOKES

Iowa State Cheerleaders

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on May 17, 2011 4:47 PM CDT up reply actions  

Go Bulls!

"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."

by SomeJerkPoster on May 17, 2011 4:47 PM CDT up reply actions  

NO POLITICS

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on May 17, 2011 5:05 PM CDT up reply actions  

OR BALLS!

I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.

by sailorjerry on May 17, 2011 5:13 PM CDT up reply actions  

Mooa culpa.

"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."

by SomeJerkPoster on May 17, 2011 5:13 PM CDT up reply actions  

I cud say these puns are getting old

But that would be lying.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on May 17, 2011 5:27 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yeah

No whey are these tiring. I’m having a hoof reading these.

I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.

by Pain in the Sash on May 17, 2011 5:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

Fo vealz, yo.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on May 17, 2011 5:40 PM CDT up reply actions  

Curd up.

"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."

by SomeJerkPoster on May 17, 2011 6:04 PM CDT up reply actions  

Seriously

We should steer clear of milk jokes.

I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.

by Pain in the Sash on May 17, 2011 6:08 PM CDT up reply actions  

Wouldn't a steer...

steer clear of dick jokes?

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on May 17, 2011 6:14 PM CDT up reply actions  

Comments like this

are why I come to Black Angus Golden Calves.

"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."

by SomeJerkPoster on May 17, 2011 6:24 PM CDT up reply actions  

We should maybe put these puns out to pasture

It’s getting utterly ridiculous.

I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.

by Pain in the Sash on May 17, 2011 6:46 PM CDT up reply actions  

It would be-hoove us to stop

Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen

by Lycurgus on May 17, 2011 6:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

Why do you guys have a beef with the cow jokes?

I have a Jersey with a bunch of them written on it. This isn’t my first rodeo.

I remember this website I read. On it, some lady started telling random cow jokes, and I figured I’d leather go. As long as she was graze-ful about it and not being mean taurus. Because these jokes don’t herd anybody. You’ll bovine if you read them. Anyway, I now heifer website in my bookmarks.

Personally, I could read these till the cows come home.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on May 17, 2011 9:32 PM CDT up reply actions   1 recs

That was awesome

If you were here, I would sirloin strip for you.

I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.

by Pain in the Sash on May 18, 2011 12:33 AM CDT up reply actions  

Since I don't believe in gods, I'm ridiculously excited about this corps of RB's.

In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).

Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.

by tyger1147 on May 17, 2011 6:53 PM CDT reply actions  

It would behoove you to cower before AIRBHG.

"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."

by SomeJerkPoster on May 17, 2011 7:19 PM CDT up reply actions  

Buzzing the tower again?

Let’s not bullshit, Maverick. Your family name ain’t the best in the navy.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on May 17, 2011 7:32 PM CDT up reply actions  

highway to the DJKzone

"GO HAWKS!" - only cure for Hawkeye Envy

by BentNotBroken on May 17, 2011 7:33 PM CDT up reply actions  

I feel the need

the need for speed.

"GO HAWKS!" - only cure for Hawkeye Envy

by BentNotBroken on May 17, 2011 8:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

Takeitbacktakeitbacktakeitbacktakeitback

by txhawkeye on May 17, 2011 7:21 PM CDT up reply actions  

Might be some bad news on Coe

He may not qualify. A few posters on HR are saying it’s been hinted at on the I-Club circuit recently. Goddamn AIRBHG…striking before guys even get to Iowa City.

Comedy is where the mind goes to tickle itself.

by Nickhawk08 on May 17, 2011 10:00 PM CDT reply actions  

Ferentz said yesterday they're waiting on a test score

So…yeah. Not good.

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on May 18, 2011 8:47 AM CDT up reply actions  

He still has quite some time to get that ACT/SAT score up, though, doesn't he?

Summer just started. If necessary, he could probably take the test 2 or 3 more times before school starts. It is slightly worrying that he’s not yet qualified, though.

I don’t remember UI admission standards being all that stringent.. A quick run through of the RAI used for admissions seems to show otherwise, though.

by The Mexican't on May 18, 2011 9:53 AM CDT up reply actions  

Players not qualifying happens from time to time

Seem to recall one of the younger Dlineman (Davis or Donovan Johnson) being awfully close to not making the cut a couple of years ago. Also, going back to the 2005 class, Kalvin Bailey never made it on campus because he failed to qualify. Sometimes it happens, sucks that AIRBHG is getting started early with Coe, though.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on May 18, 2011 10:12 AM CDT up reply actions  

Yeah, and then we get those guys that end up with the Clearinghouse.

That might be AIRBHG’s most hated form – the NCAA Clearinghouse. DeMarco Paine is a guy that got hit by the dreaded Clearinghouse. Didn’t he actually play in 2007 before AIRBHG: Clearinghouse Edition claimed him?

I don’t think we reach the top level of creep when a high school academic casualty is implied at I-Club functions where coaches frequently speak.

Comedy is where the mind goes to tickle itself.

by Nickhawk08 on May 18, 2011 2:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

i got in

it can’t be that hard.

He sired a baseball team... An orchestra, if you count the bastards!

by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on May 18, 2011 2:53 PM CDT up reply actions  

As an aside

I always wonder how these rumors – academic non-qualifying – get started. Seriously. How does one have that information available for a kid who has yet to even graduate high school? I understand how it could be the case once a player gets to Iowa City and is seen around town, talks with others and generally information will out. But I never understood how this information could get out before then.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on May 18, 2011 10:14 AM CDT up reply actions  

The top level on the creepy-meter has been raised several times in the last decade.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on May 18, 2011 10:16 AM CDT up reply actions  

Supposedly this one started at an I-Club thing

I have no idea who it came from though. It’s definitely weird.

by NorseHawk on May 18, 2011 1:52 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm sure they were asked about it

I just wonder who the hell has that kind of information to ask about it, because I’m damn sure that Ferentz/the coaches don’t bring it up unprompted. And there is a world of difference between asking the coach “Are there any concerns about any of the incoming recruits qualifying academically?” and the much-more specific “I’ve heard that Coe hasn’t qualified, any truth to that?” The former is a pretty common question, and alwasy of concern; the latter shows a disturbing level of creepy awareness.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on May 18, 2011 3:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

Well,

if somebody knows the classes he has taken, they can figure out if he has met the NCAA clearinghouse requirements (isn’t it a 2.0 over 13 core classes?)

The ACT score just helps him get into Iowa. And if he didn’t pass those 13 core classes, that could be touch-and-go, as well.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on May 18, 2011 4:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

I think the point HoyaGoon is trying to make

is who the hell is checking that deep into these kids’ high school transcripts or test scores? That presumes they’re contacting the relatives, friends, or acquaintances of the kid, which is several levels of creepy above caring if they run fast or hit hard.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on May 18, 2011 5:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

Bingo

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on May 18, 2011 9:14 PM CDT up reply actions  

Maybe so.

Or maybe, if you’re a Hawkeye booster, and you know somebody from the kid’s hometown or near there, you chat with them and hear some of this hearsay.

Still a little creepy, but not really tinted-window-van-free-candy creepy.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on May 18, 2011 9:17 PM CDT up reply actions  

For what it's worth

It was widely reported (including by Rogers himself) that Brad Rogers was offered by Ohio State at fullback after committing to Iowa. He wanted to play running back, stuck with Iowa who was recruiting him at running back, and then became a fullback. Go figure.

by Tophawkeye on May 18, 2011 12:40 AM CDT reply actions  

Quoth Rogers:

“Ohio State told me they wanted me for fullback. I really don’t want to play fullback."

I guess he’s warmed up to the idea since.

by Tophawkeye on May 18, 2011 12:42 AM CDT up reply actions  

Yeah, that's what I remembered too.

I was actually afraid that he’d transfer after last year because of that.

Now I just hope the ’ol Cambus still runs. Maybe he can come back as the Bionic (Cam)Bus.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on May 18, 2011 12:59 AM CDT up reply actions  

Per Rittenberg - ARob is leaving Iowa

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on May 18, 2011 8:10 AM CDT reply actions  

While You Wait for the Others

Kudos to you for the Grizzly Bear reference.

by kernsy on May 19, 2011 1:07 PM CDT reply actions  

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