EXCLUSIVE: Paul Rhoads Has A Documented History Of Mascot Abuse
by RossWB on Apr 20, 2011 10:30 AM CDT
in Batshit Insanity
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PrintSo you think that moose that Paul Rhoads punched in the schnoz the other day was the first time ol' Paul has lost his temper and taken it out on a costumed performer? HA. Not so, friends. The dirty little secret of Iowa State football coach Paul Rhoads is that he has a long and documented history of violence against mascots. Don't believe me? Gaze upon the proof below: PICS DON'T LIE.
Rhoads employing his favorite maneuver: the unexpected punch to the kisser.
Immediately following this picture, Rhoads completed his victory by reaching down the mascot's throat and ripping its spinal column out via its oversized mouth.
Rhoads is not a fancy technician when he scraps with mascots: a solid jab straight to the oversized snout works just fine for him.
Rhoads was SO GOSH DARN PROUD to unleash his fists of fury on this unsuspecting mascot's giant cranium.
Note that Rhoads' holster is empty; that detail likely saved that mascot's life -- a rage-fueled Rhoads with a handgun is a mascot's worst nightmare.
Finally, here we see what happens when you add alcohol to Rhoads' already-lethal cocktail of rage, anger, and hatred: it's not a pretty sight.
Why does Paul Rhoads have an anti-plushy agenda? What is the source of Rhoads' seething hatred for mascots? No one knows. Rhoads did not return our requests for an interview for this story. But if you're a mascot, a member of the furry community, or some other sort of plush costume enthusiast, be warned: Paul Rhoads is out there and he will not hesitate to punch you in the goddamn face.
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I feel a photoshop thread coming on....
by iowaChemE on Apr 20, 2011 10:32 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Be my guest.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Dear god, I would love a .gif of that.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
OH HAI
"Don’t want to spend my night waiting in line unless it’s for more beer."
--EssBee, on LoneStarBall, Jan. 21, 2010
by ghtd36 on Apr 20, 2011 10:58 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Pictured: Iowa State players after a party with one Derrell Johnson-Koulianos.
"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs
by ReadingRambler on Apr 20, 2011 11:02 AM CDT up reply actions
Spencer at EDSBS on this:
When you have no lines and you still steal a scene, your chops are undeniable and your credit is unlimited. Move around the room a little bit, and notice how his eyes follow you wherever you go. Eerie doesn’t begin to cover it.
Link here. Seeing it in motion makes it just that much more awkward and awesome
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Apr 20, 2011 11:14 AM CDT up reply actions
Don't be a hater
"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants
by Kluginator on Apr 20, 2011 11:41 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Ugh, why did it have to be Pennsylvania
"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs
by ReadingRambler on Apr 20, 2011 12:33 PM CDT up reply actions
Because it's Pennsylvania
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Apr 20, 2011 12:36 PM CDT up reply actions
This is incredible.
"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs
by ReadingRambler on Apr 20, 2011 12:33 PM CDT up reply actions
speechless
Is the appropriate description.
by mikjones24 on Apr 20, 2011 12:36 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
This should just be the banner at Clone Chronicles.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 2:40 PM CDT up reply actions
Its posts like these
That make me so happy to be an Iowa fan
"There are few things graven in stone, except that you have to squat or you're a pussy." -Mark Rippetoe
by Brock8144 on Apr 20, 2011 12:47 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
This is my favorite.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 5:07 PM CDT up reply actions
What goes around comes around Paul...
by iowaengineer on Apr 20, 2011 12:58 PM CDT reply actions 10 recs
BY GAWD, HERKY'S GOT A STEEL CHAIR! BY GAWD! OH THA HUMANITY!
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Looks like a turkey leg hat
Hey Dolph, you look like I need a beer.
by Give Eddie a Beer on Apr 20, 2011 1:51 PM CDT up reply actions
I know furries and plushies open the doorway to all kinds of perversions, but let's not get too graphic here.
Also: don’t forget to put headers on your pics so they can be collapsed.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Furries getting beaten up: A-OK (as long as it's funny).
Furries fornicating: not so much.
That’s all.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
kythom directly violating Ross' ban on furry sex
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 4:47 PM CDT up reply actions
That's just a rear naked choke of love.
It’s OK.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I debated long and hard between using that pic or the punch to the face one.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I say Cy took a dive here:
"Hi, I'm Bob Executive. Which way to business?"
by IPeeBlackAndGold on Apr 20, 2011 9:07 PM CDT reply actions
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![Honestly, I couldn't not share this with you guys, and I'm on my way to EDSBS with the picture full of win.
[Bumped, of course; link to embiggen is here. Paul Rhoads strokes it to the north, he strokes it to the south... --AJ]](http://cdn0.sbnation.com/fan_shot_images/154165/slideshow_1001754265_rbz_ut_iowa_state_06_5043127.jpg_small.jpg)
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