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Assume the Position 2011: Quarterback

Assume the Position is our offseason guide to the Iowa Hawkeyes football depth chart.  The math is difficult, so take it from us: As time moves on, we'll know more.  That's why we rank the positions from most certain to least certain.

Tonight: Quarterback

Not since 2004 has Iowa started a quarterback in the season opener who didn't start a game the year before.  For his career, he's thrown 95 passes for 515 yards.  His backups are a junior who has been perpetually buried on the depth chart and a redshirt freshman who is the subject of constant position change rumors.  And this is the most certain position on the depth chart.

It's going to be an interesting season.

You'll See What You Want

James Vandenberg (#16, Junior (RS), 6'3", 215, Keokuk (IA) HS)

Taste test these three QB stat lines:

Player Comp Attempt Yards TD INT
A 24 32 270 2 2
B 17 37 169 1 0
C
20 33 233 2 3
D 15 22 158 1 1

Those are the first Big Ten road starts of Iowa's last four starting quarterbacks.  Obviously, Player B is the outlier; the completion percentage is low, the yards per attempt are unsustainable, and touchdown production is virtually nonexistent.  You can guess who that is.

The other three, though, are quite comparable.  Players A and C are virtually identical, save for the slight decrease in yardage and one fewer interception from A.  Player D had fewer attempts, but completed those attempts at a similar percentage for equivalent yards per attempt.  So in retrospect, James Vandenberg's first career road start (Player C) ranks favorably with those of Drew Tate (Player A) and Ricky Stanzi (Player D).*  All four players lost these games, by the way.

Now let's look at what those players did in their next game:

Player Comp Attempt Yards TD INT
Tate 25 36 340 1 1
Christensen 24 42 308 3 1
Stanzi
12 20 184 2 0
Vandenberg 11 24 117 0 1

Take it away, Big Bird.


Tate built on the defeat at Michigan by incinerating Michigan State and setting off a string of eight consecutive wins to finish out his sophomore season.  Stanzi beat Indiana with efficiency in play action and reliance on GREENE/HAMPTON BEASTMODE.  Even Jake Christensen improved from his first conference road start, even if James Hardy killed Iowa on the other side of the ball.  Vandenberg looked like mush against Minnesota in his follow-up, though, and left Ferentz to rely on typical Ferentz things (punting, turnovers, and an epic goalline stand) to shut out Brewster's Gophers in a 12-0 win.  That was our last data point on young Vandenberg; since that game, he has attempted exactly eight passes against Ball State, Iowa State, and Eastern Illinois.  He didn't play in the last nine games of 2010.

The question, then, is how much faith can we put in the Ohio State game?  The consensus appears to be that his performance against the Buckeyes is the norm, with that egg against Minnesota (and the similar offense killer he put up against Northwestern the week before OSU, though that can likely be chalked up to reserve duty rust) as the exception to the rule.  The coaching staff and players are clearly behind him, but when was the last time you heard any coach question the ability of a newly-minted starting quarterback?  He has high school accolades (Iowa high school player of the year as a senior at Keokuk), but doesn't have a commensurate recruiting profile (3* Rivals, 3* Scout) or offer sheet (Bill Callahan Nebraska, Purdue, Northern Illinois).  He has the arm, but not the experience.  We are heading into Superunknown here.  Let's hope the optimists are right.

* -- Before you say it, Vandenberg did not play against markedly different opposition than Tate, whose game came in the Big House against a buzzsaw Michigan team that eventually made the Rose Bowl.  While Michigan Stadium might be quieter than your local public library, there is no difference in opposition.

Not Tim Tebow.  Maybe Brad Banks.

A.J. Derby (#17, Freshman (RS), 6'4", 225, Iowa City HS)

Stop when this sounds familiar: Iowa enters the season with a clear-cut but relatively inexperienced pocket passer at the top of the depth chart, but also has a promising youngster waiting in the wings whose pure athletic talent mandates he get on the field in some capacity.  Iowa installs its standard offense -- pro style, zone read running, heavy on play action -- but in a bit of pure desperation, includes a basic read-and-run set of plays to utilize the young guy.  They send the youngster out there from time to time, put the ball in his hands, and have him make his run-pass decision on one receiver.  The youngster throws for 580 yards and a handful of touchdowns, and runs for another 150 yards and a pair of scores.  Iowa's offense leads the Big Ten in scoring, and the team exceeds all expectations.

That was the story of 2001 in a nutshell.  That scenario hasn't really presented itself since, at least until now.  So the question is this:  Does this coaching staff, apparently desperate to get its new toy in the game somehow but so set in its ways and no longer with the services of Super Bowl winning offensive coordinator Joe Philbin, have the creativity to make A.J. Derby the new Brad Banks?

Star-divide

There's no denying Derby's credentials: Four-star prospect at Rivals, three-star at Scout, U.S. Army All-American, with an offer list that included the likes of Florida, Alabama, Michigan, Miami, Nebraska, Wisconsin, Florida State, and (maybe) Oklahoma.  Remember that adage from SEC coaches that their planes don't fly north?  They broke that rule for A.J. Derby.  To hear the coaches say it, he's one of the finest raw football talents they've had in thirteen years at Iowa.  He made up for lack of experience -- he only played quarterback as a junior and senior at City High -- with pure athleticism.  He fancied himself the next Tebow; Urban Meyer wasn't so sure, but thought he'd be one hell of a linebacker.

And therein lies the problem: Iowa didn't get a quarterback in the class of 2009, and put all their chips on Derby in 2010 as their only chance of landing the hottest commodity to come out of the state since Blake Larsen landed in the Rivals top 10.  He's not quite ready to play quarterback at this level, at least not full-time, and he's behind Vandenberg all the same.  Burying his athleticism for two years is counterproductive; moving him to a new position to get him on the field leaves a massive hole in the depth chart.  There's been discussion of putting Derby on special teams or splitting him out as a receiver for the moment, but the natural solution might be as simple as turning the clock back a decade.

The Ballad

John Wienke (#14, Junior (RS), 6'5", 220, Tuscola (IL) HS)

They don't write country western songs about college football players, but if they did, John Wienke would make for a good one.  One of the most sought-after quarterback recruits in the country in 2007-08 (offers from Purdue, Illinois, Iowa, Kentucky, Colorado, Indiana, etc.), Wienke did what immobile quarterbacks from the upper Midwest had been doing for years: He committed to play for Lloyd Carr to be the eventual heir apparent to Ryan Mallet.  Then came The Horror, and Carr's retirement, and Rich Rodriguez.  Suddenly, there was no room at the inn for Mallet, let alone homeless man's Mallet.  Iowa, who had remained in close contact, floated a life raft.  Wienke gladly took it.  There was just one problem: In the interim, working under the obvious assumption that Wienke was headed to Ann Arbor, the Hawkeyes had offered and received a commitment from Vandenberg, a player with a similar profile.

Wienke and Vandenberg both redshirted, thereby ensuring they would not be staggered.  When Jake Christensen transferred and Marvin McNutt moved to wide receiver, the two classmates were thrust into a battle for QB2.  Vandenberg eked out the spot, and then Stanzi went down injured, and Vandenberg took OSU to overtime, and the fork had been firmly planted in Wienke.  This spring, the coaches left no doubt that Vandenberg had the starting job locked up, and in fact went out of their way to say that Wienke and Derby, a redshirt freshman, were neck-and-neck for the second spot on the depth chart.

The cruel irony, of course, is that if Michigan had simply followed its typical conservative philosophy instead of rolling the dice on a brief dalliance with Rodriguez, if Carr had gotten his way during that first coaching search, Wienke likely would have never left the Wolverines.  He would likely be the prohibitive starter now, if he hadn't taken the reins last season.  Also, his wife left him and his dog died and his pickup truck stopped working this morning.  So goes The Ballad of John Wienke.

While You Wait for the Others

Jake Rudock (Number Unknown, Freshman, 6'3", 190, St. Thomas Aquinas HS (Ft. Lauderdale, FL))

How does the starting quarterback of the best high school football team in the country get overlooked for so long?  Mostly by being a standard-issue pocket passer surrounded by weapons craved by every school in the SEC.  As it stands, the consensus three-star Rudock committed to Iowa in early September, then set Florida on fire with 2780 yards and a 36/3 TD/INT ratio on 160/231 passing as a senior.  It was good enough to draw late interest from new Miami head coach Al Golden; while Rudock's dad, a Miami season ticket holder, talked in the first person plural about his son's tough decision, Rudock himself never seriously waivered on his commitment to Iowa.  He's already announced he will redshirt, which is both wholly unexpected and smart.  Barring a position change for Derby and a transfer by Wienke, he won't see the field until 2013.

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FOOTBALL!!!

Thank god. I need a sport to care about again. The masters was not enough to tide me over until the draft and I have no idea what I’m going to do this summer. Bring on ATP

by Argulor on Apr 19, 2011 7:36 AM CDT reply actions  

After this season, at the earliest.

So long as he’s still in contention for QB2, there’s still the possibility of playing time, and potentially winning the starting job. Anything could happen this season. Vandy could unexpectedly crap the bed like (REDACTED) did, or he could get hurt like Stanzi in ’09.

Unless Derby claims the backup spot, Weinke can still potentially start should something happen with Vandenberg. Ferentz has long shown his preference for upperclassmen, and I think that if the choice was tough he’d give Weinke, a fourth-year junior, a shot at game action before a redshirt freshman.

If the season ends and Weinke is no closer to starting than he is now, he’ll probably take his last year of eligibility to the MAC.

America, you're looking good: handsome, free and tall.

by Close Shave America on Apr 19, 2011 8:51 AM CDT up reply actions  

If he waits until after the season, the best he can do is I-AA.

He’s already burned a redshirt year here riding the pine while Jake and Stanzi battled it out in 2008. If he wants to be a FBS starter, he needs to get a Vandenberg voodoo doll or transfer this spring.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 9:39 AM CDT up reply actions  

I wonder if Zooker will seek Wienke,

similarly to how Illinois took Beutjer when he decided to leave. But Wienke is already older than Scheelhaase, so maybe not.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 19, 2011 4:04 PM CDT up reply actions  

Beutjer is a strange case in a lot of ways

Remember when he saw the field for Iowa in the first place? He was technically the 3rd-string QB and only a freshman or sophomore, and KF sent him in over the upperclassman “2nd-string” guy. Don’t see that much from KF.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 19, 2011 7:22 PM CDT up reply actions  

Were the first and second QBs...

Scott Mullen (or Randy Reiners?) and a young Kyle McCann?

Not a huge gamble, there.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 19, 2011 9:23 PM CDT up reply actions  

2000 QB depth chart: Mullen SR, McCann JR, Beutjer FR

I still can’t see how he put in Beutjer over McCann. That is against everything Ferentz.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 1:33 AM CDT up reply actions  

McCann was a lot better than people give him credit for given the team.

Beutjer may have been too tempting, however; much like JC6, I can’t stress enough how good he was in high school (and at a really high level). It may have been that early-career, CYA mentality that led Ferentz to the switch. Job experience and security have clearly made Ferentz’s trigger finger a little less jittery these days.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 9:37 AM CDT up reply actions  

Beutjer had pretty much the same HS stats and pedigree as Jake Rudock

/ducks flying objects from members of The Next Big Thing Party

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 4:54 PM CDT up reply actions  

Look, I get that HS stats aren't the be-all, end-all.

But Illinois HS football =/= Florida HS football.

Not to mention the fact that Rudock played on a team widely acknowledged as the best (or one of the best) in the nation.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 20, 2011 4:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

Not saying I doubt Rudock, just poking buttons

I always find humor in the infatuation with new recruits and the immediate dumping of importance of old recruits (Andrew Donnal and his 4 stars no longer important)

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 5:04 PM CDT up reply actions  

Who's dumping on Donnal?

There was just no buzz about him this spring. Maybe he was fine, but the other guys were simply better. I don’t think anyone’s writing him off. He’s just a redshirt freshman.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 20, 2011 5:15 PM CDT up reply actions  

Not discussing him while hyping the TR FR

is de facto dumping on his prospects/talent. Not saying you’re a huge proponent of that by any means, just saying I see it out there often.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 6:42 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm not following which side of this you come down on.

There are those who feel that, because he was surrounded by absurd amounts of talent, Rudock may be overvalued. Beutjer was not as blessed with his surrounding weapons. I would also say that, despite not playing in a state with anywhere near the talent of Florida, the league Beutjer came up through (DuPage Valley) was easily the deepest of any in the state of Illinois i.e. he faced tougher defenses week-in week-out than anyone else to come out of Illinois.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 8:31 PM CDT up reply actions  

Rudock will be fine.

We just may have to wait about 3 years to find out.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 20, 2011 9:34 PM CDT up reply actions  

I think Illinois HS football is often grossly overrated.

Given similar stats between a guy who played the top competition in Florida and a guy who played the top competition in Illinois, I’ll take my chances with the former every time.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 21, 2011 8:57 AM CDT up reply actions  

And, let's be honest

if Rudock had de-committed and comitted to Miami instead, he would have instantly been bumped up to 4/5 stars.

/conspiracy theory’d

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Apr 21, 2011 11:56 AM CDT up reply actions  

good call on the banks comparison

Nothing like this was run in the spring whatever on Saturday correct? I don’t recall but I’m curious to know, when and how did we start using banks in this capacity, game 2 or 3?

I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.

by sailorjerry on Apr 19, 2011 8:25 AM CDT via mobile reply actions  

No, Derby was a straight-up pocket passer on Saturday.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 9:37 AM CDT up reply actions  

Maybe then the comparison is Jake Locker?

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 19, 2011 7:23 PM CDT up reply actions  

Also, this was supposed to have been a reply to Jerry.

I’m new here, haven’t quite figured out how this place works.

by The Mexican't on Apr 19, 2011 8:31 AM CDT up reply actions  

Hey!
I’m new here, haven’t quite figured out how this place works.

¡El mentiroso, el mentiroso! ¡Los pantalones en el fuego!

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 9:36 AM CDT up reply actions  

Who's pants are on fire?

"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride!" HST

by Dip-Shit on Apr 19, 2011 9:39 AM CDT up reply actions  

El Mexican't's pants.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 9:40 AM CDT up reply actions  

Damn, you caught me.

I was certain that I’d fool everyone.

by The Mexican't on Apr 19, 2011 9:45 AM CDT up reply actions  

I think that's pantalones in his circumstance, no?

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on Apr 19, 2011 10:17 AM CDT up reply actions  

¡Aye carumba!

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 10:20 AM CDT up reply actions  

Yes.

Los pantalones del Mexican’t

by The Mexican't on Apr 19, 2011 10:29 AM CDT up reply actions  

if we do run something like this, and its a big if

I really don’t see us using it in game one. I think it will be Coker monster first half and ubervanilla second half until Pittsburgh

I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.

by sailorjerry on Apr 19, 2011 9:49 AM CDT up reply actions  

I think Derby sees the field against Tenn. Tech, but purely as a pocket passer.

Then again, I thought we’d see more back-ups in last year’s EIU game and Stanzi ended up playing almost the entire damn game. And you can certainly make a better argument for Vandy needing game snaps than you could Stanzi last year. So who knows what will happen.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 9:50 AM CDT up reply actions  

I think Vandy goes all the way

In his first year as the main man, Kirk will give Vandy every possible snap to prepare him for the conference.

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on Apr 19, 2011 11:52 AM CDT up reply actions  

This makes a whole lotta sense

Only reasons not to expect this are:

(a) Coaches try the Banks ’01 scenario with Derby, of which there seem to be no indications so far.

(b) Weinke’s voodoo doll works disturbingly quickly.

"Among the safe ways to pursue truth is the putting of experience ahead of any reasoning, we being sure that any fallacy must reside in the latter at least covertly." -- Galileo Galilei

by EastLosRandy on Apr 19, 2011 2:51 PM CDT up reply actions  

Speaking of Pitt

What’s the expectations re: their run D? Will Coker be able to run wild or is Pitt a team worth worrying about?

by The Mexican't on Apr 19, 2011 9:55 AM CDT up reply actions  

i know absolutely nothing about them

But I know hawk fans and I know the excruciating pain that comes from the debate over watching us dive left, dive right, attempt a thirty yard pass, and punt. (a debate we don’t need to have now). We know it will be what we use heavily early on, mostly because it works against the powder puffs and its equal parts smart and safe. Hopefully Coker stays healthy, we jump to some nice leads and we can get some heavy rotation at the rb position early in the season as well.

The Derby option piece is very interesting, I just don’t know when we use it. Probably depends on how the usual stuff goes early on.

I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.

by sailorjerry on Apr 19, 2011 10:14 AM CDT up reply actions  

SB Nation Pittsburgh

did a list of Spring Developments for Pitt. They’re switching to a new “high-powered” offense from pro-style. That’s really the only notable thing I gathered.

by BoilerHawk on Apr 19, 2011 10:26 AM CDT up reply actions  

Yay, another team with a fast-tempo spread offense!

I guess it will at least be more prep before we play jNW.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 10:35 AM CDT up reply actions  

And they're adjusting to it.

I’m fine with Iowa giving up 500+ yards so long as they score more points than the opponent. (see: Insight Bowl 2010)

by BoilerHawk on Apr 19, 2011 10:37 AM CDT up reply actions  

I would prefer that it didn't come down to a semi-miraculous Micah Hyde pick-six to win, but yeah.

We’ll see what tricks Norm has up his sleeve — and if our smaller, quicker linebackers make a difference in stopping that sort of offense.

Although it would really help if Coker and the OL can grind out some nice, long scoring drives, too.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 10:39 AM CDT up reply actions  

Fact.

“semi-miraculous” is a pretty good descriptive for the bowl game.

by BoilerHawk on Apr 19, 2011 10:46 AM CDT up reply actions  

Did Iowa win? Yes. Fuck Blaine Gabbert and those fucking fuckers in Columbia.

by txhawkeye on Apr 19, 2011 11:01 AM CDT up reply actions   2 recs

Succint and brilliant

+1000 Internet points to you sir

Ok, but on the way we've gotta stop by a toy store and at least get him a stuffed animal, something. It's like...meowschwitz in there. -Sterling Archer

by The Nihilist on Apr 19, 2011 12:14 PM CDT up reply actions  

It sounds like we may be in for a lot of semi-miraculous pick-sixes

with Hyde already showing his hawking ability moving to safety and Norm going out of his way to talk about Lowery’s ball hawking abilities.

Lowery has made all kinds of interceptions and he looks good.

Norm talks quite a bit about our D’s speed. That’s good for INT’s, though not so good for bringing down power running games. I’m just hoping our D-line never lets them get that far.

by KinnickNorthHawk on Apr 19, 2011 3:51 PM CDT up reply actions  

Might be able to add Castillo to the "ball-hawking" list, too.

He had an INT on Saturday and almost had another.

Norm talks quite a bit about our D’s speed. That’s good for INT’s, though not so good for bringing down power running games. I’m just hoping our D-line never lets them get that far.

That’s a fair concern, but how many power running games are we likely to play?

Tn Tech: no idea; don’t care — it’s fucking Tn Tech
ISU: they’re pretty spread-y under Rhoads
Pitt: they’re gonna throw the ball a ton with their new coach
UL-Monroe: no idea; don’t care
Penn St: power run?
jNW: Persa Persa Persa spread spread spread
Indiana: spread
Minny: sounds like Kill leans more spread-y
Michigan: not sure, but I don’t think they have the personnel to be too power run-y (esp. with the Denard at QB)
Mich St: power run?
Purdue: spread
Nebraska: power run?

So maybe three teams?

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 4:04 PM CDT up reply actions  

Plus, it is not like they won't get some practice against power run

with the hosses Iowa is going to line-up on offense (first or second string).

Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen

by Lycurgus on Apr 19, 2011 4:35 PM CDT up reply actions  

I wasn't actually worried per se

rather listing the negative with having a speedy defense.
However, when you lay out the schedule, I’m actually getting excited about the possibility. I hadn’t looked it over that closely, and was more thinking about historical OSU/Wiscy bowling ball type RB’s and beefy O-Lines that have hurt us, and they aren’t on the schezyoual.

So, that leaves us with the BIG title game (at which point I’d be happy to have to worry about our speedy backfield), then an unknown bowl matchup, where we aren’t bloody likely to run up against a power runner either.

I’d say our “thin” (as Norm calls them) speedy squad should be an asset this year.

by KinnickNorthHawk on Apr 19, 2011 4:56 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yep.

OSU and Wisco would be the teams to worry about, but the only time we could play them this year would be in the B1G Championship Game and, frankly, if we get that far it’s clear that we’re having a pretty damn good season so I’ll just be happy to let the chips fall where they may in that game.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 4:59 PM CDT up reply actions  

this 1,000x

it’s so early to be saying so and i hope his health stays stable but this is huge

I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.

by sailorjerry on Apr 19, 2011 8:23 PM CDT up reply actions  

Forget the defense;

I truly believe that the scramble to cover for Norm’s absence took away from special teams focus last year in a major way. Look at the games we lost and tell me that better special teams play wouldn’t have resulted in at least 3 more wins.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 9:39 AM CDT up reply actions  

THIS TIMES INFINITY

What happens when (a) you don’t have a dedicated special teams coach, (b) your head coach isn’t the special teams coach (like, say, Wisconsin), © One part-time special teams coach also coaches the running backs…or running back, as the case may be, and (d) your other part-time special teams coach is the de facto defensive coordinator? Disaster.

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on Apr 20, 2011 9:43 AM CDT up reply actions  

Well, we don't have to worry about the third option

because it’s been copyrighted.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 9:49 AM CDT up reply actions  

Arizona and Wisconsin? Yes.

Ohio State and Northwestern? I don’t think so.

Minnesota? I don’t know because I was busy watching McGloin’s passes float on a frigid wind while MSU players taunted our players, the sun, God, and the American Dream.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 20, 2011 9:53 AM CDT up reply actions  

Minnesota, yes

because, not to take away from the kids playing for Minny (even though I am), the Iowa team they faced in that game was listless and uninspired after a season of disappointment. You can call it excuse-making, but there’s nobody that watched either of those teams all year long that can tell me an Iowa team who wanted to be there would have lost.

Also, did you watch the jNW game? We averaged about 5 yrds. net punting in that game. Pretty sure that’s special teams.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 9:58 AM CDT up reply actions  

Must have been uppers that day.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 10:15 AM CDT up reply actions  

/Chazz'd

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 20, 2011 10:24 AM CDT up reply actions  

Not quite

You know, just in case you didn’t know what I was talking about.

/officially Chazz’d

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 2:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

To Ross and Kyle:

you both know me too well. Kudos to both of you!

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 20, 2011 4:38 PM CDT up reply actions  

I think in the jNW game

it set some sort of record because all punts were fair caught or let drop. There were no return yards on either side.

"Sometimes the truth gets in the way of a good story" - KF

by The Bacon Explosion on Apr 20, 2011 10:50 AM CDT up reply actions  

I don’t know. jNW is too close for me to blame the special teams.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 20, 2011 11:04 AM CDT up reply actions  

Wait...

…the other games weren’t close enough to be special teams? Am I missing your logic?

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 8:27 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm thinking that nebraska's schizo offense from last year might go more spread option-y t yearhis

No Helu, and Martinez and that WR/QB (burkhead?) guy both back with more experience.

by PackerHawk on Apr 19, 2011 8:36 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

It's certainly possible.

They also have a new OC, so it’s hard to know exactly what they’ll do. I do expect them to have one of the tougher offensive lines Iowa will face, though.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 9:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

About Pitt:

Wannstache = Old Coach

Wifebeater = Coach for a weekend.

Tulsa’s Todd Graham = New coach.

Here is the “hiring announcement article” from ESPN, as well as an excerpt that I found interesting (but may not be super-revealing about what will happen at Pitt) -

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=6008394

Graham likely will drastically alter the system at Pitt, where Wannstedt employed a pro-style defense that featured a fullback and a traditional defense. Graham prefers a spread-type offense, and his defense borrows from the three-man stack employed by West Virginia.

Tulsa led the nation in total offense in 2007 and 2008 and was fifth this year, averaging 505.6 yards and 41.4 points per game. Tulsa’s 661 points in 2008 set a school record and marked the second highest single-season total in the NCAA’s modern era, trailing only Oklahoma’s 716 points that season.

Here’s a list of the Pitt assistants:

http://www.pittsburghsportsreport.com/PSR/node/1149

Also, their new D-Coordinator is Keith Patterson. He was the DC at Tulsa, and hasn’t spent much time at any other notable places.

They hired former North Texas head coach Todd Dodge to be QBs coach.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 19, 2011 4:16 PM CDT up reply actions  

It will be interesting to see how quickly Pitt succeeds with the new offense

Fortunately for them, the Big East defenses might not be all that much better than the CUSA ones.

by PackerHawk on Apr 19, 2011 8:37 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

They should enjoy their one-year reign

before their new Texas overlords come calling.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 9:40 AM CDT up reply actions  

Nice.

They could have had Tom Bradley, who can recruit and is a well-respected defensive coordinator. But, no, they hired a guy who runs his high-powered blah blah thing and has no connections to WEPA recruits and brought along a defensive coordinator no one has ever heard of.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 19, 2011 8:54 PM CDT up reply actions  

Although, who am I kidding?

This is the Big East. They don’t need Bradley, they probably can win that conference two out of every three or four years with some high-powered blah blah thing guy.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 19, 2011 8:55 PM CDT up reply actions  

I don't get why,

if you like Bradley so much, you are pimping him for the Pitt job. If he somehow takes over for Paterno in the next three years, perhaps you could be happy with that.

But, whatever.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 19, 2011 9:25 PM CDT up reply actions  

Huh?

I’d say it’s fairly obvious that I’m making fun of Pitt because I think they rejected a good candidate mostly because of his Penn State connections and probably partly because he doesn’t run an exciting high-powered offense.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 20, 2011 7:57 AM CDT up reply actions  

Ahh.

I should always remember that, with you, there is always a (sometimes underlying, but usually overt) chastisement of Pitt.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 20, 2011 4:43 PM CDT up reply actions  

Spread offense and a D similar to WVU?

So Pitt is the new Michigan? Super.

I’ll take Iowa by 4 after leading by as many as 17.

by The Mexican't on Apr 19, 2011 9:26 PM CDT up reply actions  

I would have nightmares of the near-comeback Tater Tot led against Iowa in the fourth quarter last year.

If, y’know, I wasn’t too busy having real nightmares of the actual comeback in the Wisconsin game. And the jNW game. And the Ohio State game. And the — /adjusts noose

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 10:13 PM CDT up reply actions  

/unzips pants
/cues INXS

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 9:41 AM CDT up reply actions  

TOO SOON

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on Apr 20, 2011 9:44 AM CDT up reply actions  

He's lonely.

And DANGEROUS!

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 9:45 AM CDT up reply actions  

That guy was so talented!

Name me one other person in history who could hang him/herself with no arms?

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 20, 2011 4:50 PM CDT up reply actions  

Is a Kill Bill reference too soon?

Because I really would like to see a “Five Finger Punch of Death” joke right about now.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 10:35 AM CDT up reply actions  

I had to scrap an entire YFDI post at Maize & Brew

because it somehow went from talking about to beer to David Carridine and autoerotic-asphyxiation in no time and I couldn’t steer it back on course.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 2:09 PM CDT up reply actions  

This is not at all surprising,

because I’m pretty sure you introduced me to the sad demise of Bud Dwyer, and I’m a history major.

Your just a death-lover. You McCann’t stop yourself from being one.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 20, 2011 4:53 PM CDT up reply actions  

How do you know I don't just love popular media?

INXS
Kill Bill/Kung Fu
Filter

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 8:21 PM CDT up reply actions  

You're probably right.

I do enjoy INXS as well. Not too much on those others.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 20, 2011 9:36 PM CDT up reply actions  

Pitt is going to be the same boring and mediocre team they've been for a while now.

“High-powered” offense, my micah hide.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 19, 2011 8:52 PM CDT up reply actions  

So,

Pretty much the same thing we’ve done in every game for the past decade?

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Apr 19, 2011 11:50 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

Offense or defense?

America, you're looking good: handsome, free and tall.

by Close Shave America on Apr 19, 2011 8:54 AM CDT up reply actions  

special teams

He’s going to option rush every pat for a two point conversion and meyer will onky handle kickoffs

I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.

by sailorjerry on Apr 19, 2011 9:46 AM CDT up reply actions  

I was at that Minny game in 2010

What a sloppy shitshow. Jimmy V…along with everything else looked awful that day.

by mikjones24 on Apr 19, 2011 8:39 AM CDT reply actions  

Thank god they won. Unlike shitshow, round 2, that was fucking 2010.

by txhawkeye on Apr 19, 2011 8:59 AM CDT up reply actions  

Easy to look pretty fucking good

When Minny has Johnny fucking Fumbles at quarterback.

To be fair, we were stout that day. The turnovers just helped. A lot.

by mikjones24 on Apr 19, 2011 9:14 AM CDT up reply actions  

This
…Minny has Johnny fucking Fumbles at quarterback.

I love it!

"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride!" HST

by Dip-Shit on Apr 19, 2011 9:40 AM CDT up reply actions  

Heismandenberg or VanHindenberg?

Small sample size, yes, but James’ games against tOSU and Minny were not great overall. First half against the Buckeyes, yest, but he had some clunkers in there too. That last drive or two, if I remember right, he had a couple of passes that should have been picked off. Didn’t one bounce off a Buckeye into Moeaki’s hands? So I don’t know.

That being said, I don’t think any of it means anything until another game sitch. I do hope it is a truly open competition. I think Kirk stuck with JC6 a little too long out of sheer loyalty last time the QB position was up for grabs. Hope he is more open to guys playing their way in.

by RodgersHasAHose on Apr 19, 2011 8:53 AM CDT reply actions  

TACOPANTS!!!!

Ok, but on the way we've gotta stop by a toy store and at least get him a stuffed animal, something. It's like...meowschwitz in there. -Sterling Archer

by The Nihilist on Apr 19, 2011 12:16 PM CDT up reply actions  

He wasn't throwing to Tacopants

as evidenced by the fact that Tacopants makes The Polish Hat look like a midget. Instead, JC6 seems to think that the game being played was lawn darts, as the threw bullet, after bullet into the turf 2 yards in front of his receiver.

On an completely unrelated topic, is aanyone else been having trouble with SBN sites the past few days? Whenever I try to log-on at work to any SBN site, it seems to be caught in a perpetual load/re-load cycle that completely locks up my computer. Granted, my work computer forces me to use a woefrully outdated version of Windows Explorer and a shitty network; but all those things were true last week before the problems started. Can’t help but think it is something with SBN

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Apr 19, 2011 12:32 PM CDT up reply actions  

Mine's been fine

and we are still running XP and IE6 (there’s a rumor IE8 is being pushed out tonight though)

"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer

by Flakbait on Apr 19, 2011 12:34 PM CDT up reply actions  

No Crap
And this is the most certain position on the depth chart.

It’s going to be an interesting season.

I don’t ever remember a time this happened but has KOK ever run a 2 QB plan? I remember when JC6 was in the process of falling apart Stanzi played some, succeeded and evolved into the starter. This seemed more of a “Hey JC6, get your butt moving or loose your job.” situation. I guess I need to see that JVB is above the other two but I typically trust KF to trot out the most prepared guy.

"Sometimes the truth gets in the way of a good story" - KF

by The Bacon Explosion on Apr 19, 2011 10:05 AM CDT reply actions  

is this the most certain position?

I’d say that in terms of 1-2/3, it is but I’d like to think that WR/TE/RB is locked in as far as starters go…

by BoilerHawk on Apr 19, 2011 10:14 AM CDT up reply actions  

Actually, I'd argue OT is the most certain position,

but I think HawkeyeState gives the O Line a post as an entire unit. Or maybe not?

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 19, 2011 4:24 PM CDT up reply actions  

Very good point. And it's not like the line is in bad shape either.

I think the offense is pretty set, in general. It’s just a matter of how good everyone can be.

by BoilerHawk on Apr 19, 2011 6:03 PM CDT up reply actions  

McCann-Banks was the closest we've ever come to running a 2-QB system under KOK/KF.

Stanzi-JC6 was just them trying to find one guy to step up and claim the position. (Or, looked at from another perspective, to give JC6 enough rope to hang himself with.)

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 10:18 AM CDT up reply actions  

yes

As I recall they were simply alternating possessions, which was sheer lunacy towards the end of the jcspiral. There was nothing strategic about it.

I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.

by sailorjerry on Apr 19, 2011 10:32 AM CDT up reply actions  

Ahem.

Loose is the opposite of tight. E.g: Your mom is loose.

Lose is the opposite of acquire/win. E.g. :Your mom needs to lose some weight.
E.g. #2: Hey JC6, get your butt moving or lose your job.

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Apr 19, 2011 12:59 PM CDT up reply actions  

Correction, your mom ......

is cavernous because she is loose and the unicorn got to her in the BHBIGS thread.

"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants

by Kluginator on Apr 19, 2011 2:47 PM CDT up reply actions  

Fuck!!!!!

I think I might stop using either of those words. I type, no one said I can remember this.

"Sometimes the truth gets in the way of a good story" - KF

by The Bacon Explosion on Apr 19, 2011 2:56 PM CDT up reply actions  

I can't fucking wait...

…for the inevitable rehash of the Stanzi/Christensen Battle Royale causing us to needlessly lose early season games.

Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute

by tigerhawk00 on Apr 19, 2011 10:25 AM CDT reply actions  

Hey, we even play Pitt again early on, too!

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 10:37 AM CDT up reply actions  

Well, at least...

…they no longer have the powerhouse mustache known as Wannstedt.

Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute

by tigerhawk00 on Apr 19, 2011 10:39 AM CDT up reply actions  

Whew.

We’ll have all the mustache power we can handle just dealing with Jerry Kill and Danny Hope.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 10:42 AM CDT up reply actions  

Danny Hope is of no concern.

He is off fighting the Na’vi for their unobtanium.

Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute

by tigerhawk00 on Apr 19, 2011 10:46 AM CDT up reply actions  

Kill shaved the stache

Minny officially has no chance this year

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Apr 19, 2011 10:56 AM CDT up reply actions  

I thought someone on OTE said he was growing it back.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 11:04 AM CDT up reply actions  

Or already grown back

It may be his super power. We can’t hope to compete against someone who just wakes up in the morning with a glorious ’stache

It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?

by chitownhawkeye on Apr 19, 2011 11:26 AM CDT up reply actions  

I would like this superpower.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 19, 2011 7:33 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'm not excited.

I may not even have a blog to run to when the inevitable Matt McNOOO vs. Rob “Transferring is preferable to indecision” Bolden battles go too far.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 19, 2011 8:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

Bob Bolden is going to transfer, though, right?

I mean, he has to, at this point. Doesn’t he? WON’T SOMEONE ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTIONS?

by The Mexican't on Apr 19, 2011 9:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

I don't know.

I just want the whining to the media to cease. He wasn’t treated that poorly. But he and his Dad act like he’s a decorated World War 2 veteran who just got spat on by a hippy or something.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 20, 2011 7:58 AM CDT up reply actions  

No kidding.

You don’t know where that hippie’s spit has been.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 20, 2011 9:14 AM CDT up reply actions  

Most of the decorated WWII vets I've met...

are at the point that they’d probably pay plenty of money to make this happen:

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 20, 2011 4:56 PM CDT up reply actions  

I'd transfer too.

PSU has such high expectations both on and off the field, I’d rather be a day trader. It blows my mind how many articles in the Penn Stater destroy these kids for being kids.

Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute

by tigerhawk00 on Apr 20, 2011 11:14 AM CDT up reply actions  

Not so fast, my friend.

Robert Bolden is legally an adult. He signed up for this gig. If he feels like the coaches didn’t treat him “fairly”, then he can transfer for all I care.

But as an adult in the competitive world of college football, his attitude and most especially his father’s attitude are getting close to being simply unacceptable. The coaches didn’t treat him like a slave. They didn’t even wrong him.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 20, 2011 6:26 PM CDT up reply actions  

Not talking about him so much as the alums.

They (we) put way too much pressure on the student athletes. That said, there’s a certain amount of dealing with politics that’s a requirement of playing D1. If Bolden can’t handle that – it’s on him, but it’s up to PSU alumni to welcome these kids and not turn on them for youthful indiscretions.

Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute

by tigerhawk00 on Apr 21, 2011 8:51 AM CDT up reply actions  

That was my understanding

Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen

by Lycurgus on Apr 19, 2011 10:28 AM CDT up reply actions  

Yes.

But he was the OC at Green Bay this past year, thus “Super Bowl winning offensive coordinator”

by The Mexican't on Apr 19, 2011 10:30 AM CDT up reply actions  

Hells yeah

But he’s really just McCarthy’s assistant. Not sure what he does exactly, but MM calls plays.

by PackerHawk on Apr 19, 2011 8:39 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

I'm not sure this is a totally fair comparison.

Both Tate and Christensen not only had meaningful reps in games, but actual starts prior to their first Big Ten road games (four for JC and three for DT). Stanzi was in the middle of a pitched battle for the starting job in 2008, had substantial playing time in the prior games that season, and had gotten a start or two in the OOC.

Vandenberg, on the other hand, had one series against ISU and emergency duty against Northwestern in 2009.

Maybe someone can make a comparison for the last four starters’ first road starts, period. That’d be a better comparison, I think. And remembering Tate’s first road start, at least, I have a feeling it’d make Vandenberg look a little bit better overall.

by fossilhawk on Apr 19, 2011 11:23 AM CDT reply actions  

Not that it should matter -

…but Vandenberg stepped in on a perfect record. I know that would give me the jitters but so do girly parts.

Ma'am, you're dealing here with a fully qualified male strumpet. I service the entire Quad Cities area: Moline, Rock Island, Davenport and Bettendorf. Why don't you give it a whirl? What have you got to lose? - Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute

by tigerhawk00 on Apr 19, 2011 12:32 PM CDT up reply actions  

I don't think I'm following you

The comparison is favorable. Why is it not fair? Because he was better than JC6 against ISU or Tate against ASU? That only makes his disastrous performance against Minnesota that much stranger.

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on Apr 19, 2011 2:50 PM CDT up reply actions  

Sorry for being unclear.

Three of the four quarterbacks had starts under their belt before their first Big Ten road game. So for Tate/JC6/Stanzi, their next start after that first conference road game would have been something like their fourth or fifth start. And that’s usually the point at which QBs settle in, get rid of the jitters, whatever – hence the generally improved numbers from their next games.

Vandy’s next game, though, was his second start. Not only was he in the middle of that “settle-in” phase, but he was just filling in for an injured starter, unlike the other three. Taking that into account, I don’t know as you can draw any serious conclusions from comparing Vandy to our last three QBs this way, simply because his first Big Ten road start came in such different circumstances from the others.

by fossilhawk on Apr 19, 2011 5:01 PM CDT up reply actions  

OK, I get what you're saying.

That might be a valid point.

Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.

by Patrick Vint on Apr 19, 2011 9:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

As I remember, his inability to pick up the blitz at the line

was a huge factor in his performance. I don’t remember, but I think he saw less of that from OSU and perhaps that was part of the difference in the outings.

Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen

by Lycurgus on Apr 19, 2011 5:05 PM CDT up reply actions  

I trust that

as of right now, today, Vandenberg is the most game-ready QB we have on the roster. What will be interesting to see is wehther that remains true once the games begin. It will be imperative to get Wienke and/or Derby into the early season games, to see where they are in their development and whether either one is ready to stop in should something happen to Vandenberg. Also, it is going to require a change in attitude from Ferentz. He has many great qualities as a coach, but some also some glaring flaws. The most notable of which is his stubborn refusal to adapt to in-game and game-to-game realities and his default preference to the upperclassmen. If, and that is a big if, Vandenberg shows in the first few games that he can’t get it done, then KF must be willing to cut-bait and try another approach. Evidence for that mentality, however, has been sorely lacking.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Apr 19, 2011 12:44 PM CDT reply actions  

Like the OSU game this past season?

What else would you do when the starting running back (who was only starting because of ‘academic indigestion’ from the usual starter who was benched for the 1st quarter) was gashing one of the top run defenses in the country but to pull him and put the usual starter in who was completely ineffectual?
/still blows my mind

by HawkgirlSTL on Apr 19, 2011 12:59 PM CDT up reply actions  

One of many examples

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Apr 19, 2011 1:24 PM CDT up reply actions  

He doesn't have the "scratch what itches" mentality

that made Hayden Fry an his offenses so successful.

by BoilerHawk on Apr 19, 2011 2:12 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions  

I was a hero once

for bringing a big container of Gold Bond to Shakers in La Motte. Many takers.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 19, 2011 7:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

Hayden's scratch

Seemed to be mostly THROW IT LONG!!!!! and it cured a lot of ills

need a momentum shift? TIL
need a demoralizing play? TIL
can’t think of anything else to do? TIL!!!!!!

This helped immeasurably in the ‘83-’97 streak against the Cyclones with a combined score of 590-210.

"Sometimes the truth gets in the way of a good story" - KF

by The Bacon Explosion on Apr 19, 2011 3:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

easy

rec

"You want an honest answer? I have no idea."
-Kirk Ferentz

by KF Bubblegum on Apr 19, 2011 7:49 PM CDT up reply actions  

Is that Tim Tebow?

The University of Iowa: the best 6 years of my life. My parents are very proud.

by HawkeyeGirleye on Apr 19, 2011 11:20 PM CDT up reply actions  

That's it!

My bad. Many thank yous.

The University of Iowa: the best 6 years of my life. My parents are very proud.

by HawkeyeGirleye on Apr 19, 2011 11:24 PM CDT up reply actions  

Indeed

the Sex Cannon hisself

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Apr 20, 2011 10:22 AM CDT up reply actions  

Tebow going deep?

Only if a 10 yard pass to Harvin in space who runs for 60 yards afterwards counts as deep.

by PackerHawk on Apr 20, 2011 1:11 AM CDT up reply actions  

Not until marriage.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 9:32 AM CDT up reply actions   2 recs

So obvious, and yet, so rec-able.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 20, 2011 4:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

& that's why I wasn't sure

I am a Bears fan & have struck the Sexy Rexy years from my memory.

The University of Iowa: the best 6 years of my life. My parents are very proud.

by HawkeyeGirleye on Apr 20, 2011 7:30 PM CDT up reply actions  

Oh Rexy, you're so sexy.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 1:26 AM CDT up reply actions  

It's a line from "Empire Records"

And while Rexy’s a little too spicy, my sexy bear porridge is juuuuuust right.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 12:01 PM CDT up reply actions  

Oh, I don't know.

He certainly wasn’t hesitant to give Illinois a dose of Nick Bell in ’90 or ’91, was he?

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 19, 2011 8:59 PM CDT up reply actions  

What little I saw of Saturday...

gives me some continuing questions about Vandy’s arm. Maybe the turf was slick, but Vandy should probably have a good rapport with Davis by now, and Davis was reaching for all the passes I saw.

I think it would be great for Vandy to be able to frequently hand off to a bunch of dudes (Coker, Johnson, little Binns, Ford, whoever), behind what could be a good line again. Then, if we need a change of pace, let him chuck it deep to our WRs or TEs on a go route, and throw it long enough that opposing DBs don’t start giving us issues.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 19, 2011 4:32 PM CDT reply actions  

I meant White instead of Ford.

Seems like I’ve read that mistake on these boards so much that it has seeped into my memory.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 19, 2011 4:36 PM CDT up reply actions  

White Ford

Still can’t get the O.J. verdict out of your head?

Skinny Chazz shown on far left

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 19, 2011 7:41 PM CDT up reply actions  

I got to watch the OJ verdict...

while in English class in high school. I was kind of questioning why he was acquitted, but I didn’t go burn anybody’s store/house down or anything.

Oh, and if I looked like the guy in that pic, at least I could make some cash by playing a Bill Gates look-alike.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 19, 2011 9:30 PM CDT up reply actions  

I've never seen that.

So many comments to make, and all of them about 15 years too late.
Oh well.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 20, 2011 1:47 PM CDT up reply actions  

Here's another

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 2:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

How do you know all those pictured cheering

aren’t excited because they, too, are wealthy, aloof people completely cut-off from their roots after they got famous and who can afford the best legal representation money can buy? They gotta stick together!

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 2:13 PM CDT up reply actions  

Yes, "those people" would want to stick together.

It’s all about the greens…um, I mean, green.

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 20, 2011 4:59 PM CDT up reply actions  

I think Vandenberg is most sensible choice to start out the year.

However, I hope they will keep him on a short leash if he struggles. When you have McNutt, Davis(who apparently is a badass if the spring game is any indication), Coker, Herman, the Polish Hat, and an offensive line who should be pretty damn good too, there aren’t many reasons left go with a quarterback who is struggling.

by bornofclay on Apr 19, 2011 5:42 PM CDT reply actions  

You get a pass because you're young

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 19, 2011 7:42 PM CDT up reply actions  

Oh my bad. I have heard and read about the great Chuck Long, but I haven't ever really

come to know him by his jersey number, because I never have seen him on T.V.

by kEvanson on Apr 19, 2011 7:47 PM CDT up reply actions  

You don't get a pass.

Period.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 19, 2011 9:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

I miss the old pads.

He looks like a box.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 19, 2011 9:00 PM CDT up reply actions  

Fact: There is a box factory near my home.

"I am almost ashamed at my actions, but not really." - usn_kologi, 197 lbs

by ReadingRambler on Apr 19, 2011 9:15 PM CDT up reply actions  

Fact: I would like to think of you and Ohiohawk

as the most respected box inspectors in the US.

Der Hoelle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen

by Lycurgus on Apr 19, 2011 9:19 PM CDT up reply actions  

And somewhere there is a dude who refers to his penis as "The Boxcutter."

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Apr 19, 2011 10:15 PM CDT up reply actions   2 recs

But I'm half Middle Eastern! I'm allowed to!

Wait, too soon again?

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2011 8:22 PM CDT up reply actions  

That reminds me of a funny story.

I got in a small car accident this week. AAA had no preferred body shops near where I live (West Hollywood/Beverly Hills area is not exactly car repair central), so the lady goes online to look for nearby places. Luckily Google finds her a body shop less than a mile away, in West Hollywood. She gives that address to the tow truck driver, he’s on his way. She gives me their name and contact info so I can call them in the morning to let them know what’s going on with the car. Their name? Body Shop. Not Jerry’s Body Shop or something like that. In WeHo. Hmmm. So I google it on my phone, and sure enough it’s a strip club. Gay strip club, even. So the tow truck driver shows up, takes the car, I tell him no less than 3 times not to take it to the address given earlier but to the dealership I’m taking it to instead. Of course he says no problem, but also of course as a tow truck driver in L.A. he has only a rudimentary understanding of English and ends up driving his tow truck to the gay strip club. It was funny, but it still cost me an extra 45 minutes waiting for him at the correct place.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 19, 2011 10:53 PM CDT up reply actions  

I put on over 30K miles/year as I'm in Sales

Combine that with horrible L.A. traffic and drivers and it’s inevitable that it happens once in a while. I do hate it though.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 19, 2011 11:41 PM CDT up reply actions  

FYI, this one was my fault.

Don’t want to make it sound like I’m infallible in this predicament.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 19, 2011 11:41 PM CDT up reply actions  

You & your car have quite the escapades.

Hope the car’s ok soon- the adventures must continue!

The University of Iowa: the best 6 years of my life. My parents are very proud.

by HawkeyeGirleye on Apr 19, 2011 11:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

Where is the city's pre-eminent auto incident lawyer when you need him?

We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.

by WaterlooChazz on Apr 19, 2011 11:57 PM CDT up reply actions  

Bershatsky!

He’s busy working on a couple big cases in the areas he’s also expert:
Admiralty and Maritime Law
Agency and Distributorships
Antitrust and Trade Regulation

And those are just 3 of the 12 areas he’s expert in that start with the letter A. He has 25 other letters of expertise!

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 12:03 AM CDT up reply actions  

GIS can be so fun
Amber Robinson with her photography on exhibit at The Box Factory for the Arts in October 2005

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 1:42 AM CDT up reply actions  

I'm not the only one that thinks she knows her way around a pole, right?

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Apr 20, 2011 1:55 PM CDT up reply actions  

"We are heading into Superunkown here."

I’m not comfortable with the entire Hawkeye nation “heading into” me. Perverts.

by Superunknown5 on Apr 22, 2011 5:35 PM CDT reply actions  

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