MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 1: THE ADAM ROBINSON INVITATIONAL

Seed #1: AIRBHG


Too soon?

What have you done?: Made Brandon Wegher take a year off then transfer; concussed the hell out of Paki O'Meara; concussed the fucking shit out of Adam Robinson; shredded Jewel Hampton's knee for a second straight year; gave Jeff Brinson a family emergency that let him transfer to UCF without a year off, then tore his ACL for good measure; broke Marcus Coker's collarbone; gave Brad Rogers a bum ticker, causing him to fail a cardiology test; pushed Josh Brown to transfer. All in one year.

Seed #8: DRUGS

Drugs_medium

What have you done?: Got DJK arrested on roughly 50 charges (only one of which stuck, mind you); finished the job AIRBHG started with Adam Robinson, getting A-Rob kicked off the team after a piddling-if-it-weren't-for-the-timing marijuana arrest; may or may not have been a very close acquantance with, let's say, 21 different players by the end of the season.

Iconbhgp_medium LET'S DO THIS!

Icon_airbhg_medium YES LET'S

Iconbhgp_medium Um... where are the drugs?

Icon_airbhg_medium THE DRUGS FEAR ME

Iconbhgp_medium Yes, I'm sure that's it. Seriously, where are the drugs?

Iconphone45_medium Ring, ring!

Iconbhgp_medium Hello?

Iconphone45_medium Mr. Goldpants, this is Dr. Crotch at the UIHC. I have b--

Iconbhgp_medium Hahahahahahahahaha, Dr. Crotch

Iconphone45_medium Haha yeah, I know, best last name ever. I'm never changing it.

Iconbhgp_medium LOOOOOOL that's where the dick is

Iconphone45_medium Yep! Anyway bad news. All 13 of the drugs are in the hospital as we speak.

Iconbhgp_medium Like, in the cupboards, or...

Iconphone45_medium No, they were hospitalized with a nasty case of exertional rhabdomyolysis.

Iconbhgp_medium RHABDOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Iconphone45_medium I'm so sorry. Do you want to come visit the drugs here?

Iconbhgp_medium Are there cops there?

Iconphone45_medium Yes.

Iconbhgp_medium Then no.

Iconphone45_medium Wise move.

Iconbhgp_medium Thank you, Dr. Crotch. Ahahahahahaha. Crotch.

Iconphone45_medium I love my name. Goodbye Mr. Goldpants.

Iconphone45_medium Click!

Iconbhgp_medium So, uh... AIRBHG, you want to take on RHABDO instead?

Icon_airbhg_medium LET IT BE.

Iconbhgp_medium That's not a god thing to say, that's John Lennon.

Icon_airbhg_medium MAKE IT SO.

Iconbhgp_medium Captain Picard.

Icon_airbhg_medium DAMN IT.

Iconbhgp_medium ...closer, but no.

Icon_airbhg_medium OKAY OKAY, HOW ABOUT "MY NAME IS DR. CROTCH."

Iconbhgp_medium HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA nice one AIRBHG, you're all right by us.

Icon_airbhg_medium /saws BHGP's feet off

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