It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It Drops Dimes
It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It is BHGP's regular news roundup. Send all tips to any of the email addresses at the bottom of the page. We'd rather you send it to Jacobi, because he forwards them to everyone in emails with dancing cat gif's at the bottom.
The Cartwright Giveth. While much of the talk following Iowa's weekend upset of Purdue centered on senior Jarryd Cole (and with good reason), it somewhat overshadowed the stat-based award of the year: Bryce Cartwright won the Big Ten assist title, finishing 10 assists ahead of Michigan's Darius Morris. Cartwright becomes the fifth Hawkeye to win the award, and first since Dean Oliver captured the assist title in 2001. Cartwright arguably made more progress than any other Hawkeye this season, progressing from a likely backup to the straw that stirs Iowa's drink and the primary crunch-time shooter. Melsahn Basabe was a revelation, to be sure, but Cartwright was arguably more important to Iowa's eleven wins.
The Fifteen Guys Taketh Away. Rick Brown put numbers to what we already knew: That Iowa's basketball program has suffered from unprecedented attrition over the last eight years, losing fifteen players with eligibility remaining:
The Hawkeyes had their leading returning scorer or rebounder - Tyler Smith in 2007, Tony Freeman in 2008, Jake Kelly and Jeff Peterson in 2009 and Aaron Fuller in 2010 - bolt after each of the last four seasons. Player retention is one of the reasons athletic director Gary Barta fired Todd Lickliter after just three seasons.
Senior center Jarryd Cole will be the ninth of 22 freshmen at Iowa since 2000 to stay through their entire careers. Factor in junior-college transfers, and only 20 of 36 players who played at least one game for the Hawkeyes completed their eligibility there in the past eight seasons.
Iowa's not the only team suffering from an increased number of transfers: 10.6% of scholarship basketball players transferred to another Division I program in 2008-09. Everyone -- well, everyone but Thad Matta -- thinks the higher rate is due in no small part to AAU basketball culture, where stars are coddled and praised by coaches who cater to their every whim. Todd Lickliter's response was to cut the AAU system out completely, which might be principled but struck us as treating a cold by cutting off your own nose. McCaffery's staff embraces the AAU system; no sign yet of how that will help, but top-rated point guards from California are visiting.
As for this season, it looks to be all quiet on the transfer front. The only potential transfer we've heard of -- Eric May either leaving Iowa (really?) or playing football (absurd) -- weren't entirely shot down by May in the wake of the Purdue victory, but appear unlikely. May's final quote, that he "can't just be a ghost on the court," at least indicates that May is willing to stay and work at fixing the problems that left him on the bench in February.
By the way, Rick Brown's column also contains the best Jamie Pollard quote since "Inconsolable" surfaced two years ago:
Of the 25 players McDermott signed at Iowa State, 18 left before completing their eligibility. Two of those players turned pro, including first-round NBA draft pick Craig Brackins.
"Each situation is unique," Iowa State athletic director Jamie Pollard said. "Obviously, with Greg we had a run of uniqueness. And the sum of the individual parts kind of broke the system."
"A run of uniqueness" should be the Iowa State athletic department motto.
Sports With Bats. Iowa baseball continued its tour of the Deep South this week with four games at Starkville, Mississippi's Dudy Noble Field (you read that name right). A Friday afternoon loss to Georgia Southern dropped the Hawkeyes to 1-5 on the season. Then the light flickered on; Iowa swept both games of a two-game series with Mississippi State on Friday night and Saturday, then avenged its Friday loss on Sunday. Both MSU and GSU entered the weekend 8-1, so winning the round robin tournament is no small feat.
Softball, on the other hand, continues to struggle. A weekend trip to Fullerton, California resulted in a 1-4 record, capped by a 7-2 loss to Murray State Sunday in which the Hawkeyes gave up 5 eighth-inning runs. Iowa finished the weekend with an 8-9 overall record.
BLURBZ:
Former Steve Alford assistant Greg Lansing, former Steve Alford recruit Jake Kelly, and the Indiana State Sycamores won the Missouri Valley Conference tournament final Sunday and will play in the NCAA Tournament. The team also includes Jordan Printy, graduate of Linn-Mar High, former resident of Marion, IA, and brother of Iowa women's basketball player Jamie Printy. In other words, if you were looking for a team to get behind next week, Indiana State might be your answer.
The Carver-Hawkeye Arena expansion project remains on schedule and should be fully open by July. The facility is supposed to add new office space for non-football coaching staffs, practice courts, weight facilities, and locker rooms.
An odd result from the NFL Combine: Where mid-round Hawkeyes usually make their move in Indianapolis, it was potential first-rounders Adrian Clayborn and Christian Ballard who turned heads. Julian Vandervelde also turned in a surprising performance. Meanwhile, borderline guys like Ricky Stanzi, Allen Reisner, and Jeremiha Hunter struggled.
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Anyone who votes for Whitmore over Garfield is just a dumb cracker like me but with a nice dash of ignorance as well.
And U.S. Grant better win the whole thing, because U.S. Grant was, in overall terms, the second greatest American and the toughest American.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
My reasoning is simple: By appearing in a movie with Will Smith, Whitmore approves of racism and stereotypes.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 7, 2011 8:10 AM CST up reply actions
whitmore's got my vote
he was boning President Laura Roslin (aka Mary McDonnell) who put Bill frakin’ Adama on a leash and walked his ass around Galactica.
Pullman? Paxton! Pullman! Paxton?
Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Mar 7, 2011 9:32 AM CST up reply actions
The final should be U.S. Grant vs. Andrew Jackson. U.S. Grant recovered from a serious back injury to help us whip the Confederates at Shiloh and Andy Jackson once beat somone with a heavy walking stick while denouncing him as a scoundrel (Takes one to know one).
Bill Paxton or Bill Pullman or whoever does not compare to beating someone over the head while denouncing them as a scoundrel. Or this:
“Well, we’ve had the devil’s own day, haven’t we, Grant?”
“Yes. Lick ’em tomorrow, though.”
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 7, 2011 10:14 AM CST up reply actions
You really are obsessed with the Civil War
How about a little love for Thomas Jefferson? He was 6’3" with a good build, which easily puts him in the Top 5 of presidents by size. His sitting Vice President killed another prominent statesman in a duel regarding the Fedralist Papers (Burr v Hamilton). He was (incorrectly) rumored to have killed a man in a one-man firing squad for treason on the White House lawn.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 7, 2011 10:27 AM CST up reply actions
We’re voting for Presidents, not Vice Presidents. Sorry, bro.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 7, 2011 11:47 AM CST up reply actions
OK then, how about Slick Willie?
Big dude, if a little chunky, but so was Ali. Obviously testosterone-driven. Was pretty young when entering his term. He has more speed than you think since he grew up in SEC country. First Black President, and you know Black dudes can fight. (FYI, I always find it annoying when people do the “he was the first Black President” jokes, this is why I mention it)
But in seriousness, other candidates: Gerald Ford (Michigan FB lineman), LBJ (surprisingly large and imposing dude), Teddy Roosevelt (obvious bad-ass), George Washington, Abraham Lincoln (Tyler Durden’s pick)
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 7, 2011 12:48 PM CST up reply actions
You can't be serious.
Does this look like a fighter to you?

"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 7, 2011 1:23 PM CST up reply actions
Is that Shaun White and Mitch Hedberg (RIP)?
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Mar 7, 2011 1:25 PM CST up reply actions
Nope
My sarcasm font was hard to read in that one, I admit. It was hidden here:
But in seriousness, other candidates:
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 7, 2011 1:28 PM CST up reply actions
They certainly don't look like future members of the Council on Foreign Relations.
Nor do they look like war mongers…
I guess there’s a secret person inside us all.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 7, 2011 2:38 PM CST up reply actions
Um,
in actuality Teddy Roosevelt was a sickly, foppish dandy. His “frontiersman” persona was a complete fabrication and act. Kind of like a certain other president that was a product of an old-money family and private, elite Northeastern boarding schools/colleges who suddenly started chopping down a tree any time there was a camera around.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
by HoyaGoon on Mar 7, 2011 1:56 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Was he really? I hadn't read anything that harsh.
I knew he was moneyed somewhat faux-tough, but nothing that dramatically dismissive. And I don’t care if you’re a sissy, if you dramatically strengthened the national park system you’re an amazing president in my book.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 7, 2011 3:31 PM CST up reply actions
Yes, he was
as a boy, he was such a severe asthmatic that he was basically unable to leave the Roosevelt estate in NYC and had to have private tutors brought in to teach him since he was unable to step outside the home (his brothers attended schools outside the home).
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I thought I read that he had aa high-pitched, wussy sounding voice, too.
The King’s Speech, II
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Mar 7, 2011 3:59 PM CST up reply actions
Learn something new every day, I guess
I’ll check out a biography or two of him, I’m now interested.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 7, 2011 4:07 PM CST up reply actions
Slick Willy?
But we already talked about Bill Paxton/Pullman.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 7, 2011 2:41 PM CST up reply actions
But this is a fight to the death
Teddy Roosevelt and Andrew Jackson were undeniably bad ass men of action who led from the front. My money is on one of them.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
Did I mention the part where Grant escaped hail storms of Mexican bullets for several weeks and STILL had the balls to call it a war of imperialism?
Grant vs. Jackson. Period. I will accept no other final.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 7, 2011 11:48 AM CST up reply actions
"Hail Storms" of bullets
No wonder we kept beating the Mexicans if they kept firing into the air instead of at our soldiers
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 7, 2011 12:36 PM CST up reply actions
Anyone that knows Jake Kelly's story has got to be rooting for the kid, whether you are a Sycamore or not.
http://tribstar.com/news/x831629389/N-C-A-YAY
I think I might have cried a little bit when we won," he said. "I haven’t cried in a while, but I had a lot of emotions running through me.
It feels great. It’s what I wanted to do when I came here," Kelly said. "To actually do it? It feels better than you even think and makes all the hard work worth it."
The MVC Championship T-shirt that Kelly was wearing also will have a special place of honor.
"I’m not an emotional person, but I think about [his mom] a lot. I have to think she’s looking down on me. I do it all for my family," Kelly said. "I’m putting this shirt on her grave, I’ll say a few words, and I’m sure she’ll be watching us in the tournament."
by Pubes in Pink Urinals on Mar 7, 2011 8:44 AM CST reply actions
never understood the may transfer rumors
Hope he can tear it up in the prime time league again and mature, physically and mentally to find a way to handle the increased pressure.
I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.
by sailorjerry on Mar 7, 2011 9:07 AM CST via mobile reply actions
I never even HEARD the May transfer rumors.
How long ago was this? What is the source?
It was one of the Iowa message boards, wasn’t it?
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 7, 2011 2:42 PM CST up reply actions
That joke about the wife in a coma
Just about the funniest thing I’ve read in years.
by DrHenryKillinger on Mar 7, 2011 9:31 AM CST reply actions
It was better than the once HawKCP was telling me this weekend.
I will give you that.
by Carfino'sWay on Mar 7, 2011 10:15 AM CST up reply actions
Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you. ... Well I had sex with your wife!
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Mar 7, 2011 1:24 PM CST up reply actions
So this guy just got back from basic training in the paratroopers...
and he’s sitting at the bar having a drink with is dad. His dad asks him about the first time he jumped out of an airplane.
He tells the story, “Well, we all went up in the plane and we were lined up single file through the plane with our massive drill sergeant at the door to give us some encouragement and make sure we all made it out the door. I was last in line and slowly everyone made their way up to the front and out of the plane. Then it came down to me. I looked at the drill sergeant and said, ‘Sarge, I can’t do it. I’m not jumping.’ He looked back at me and yelled, ‘BOY, YOU WILL JUMP OUT OF THIS GODDAMN AIRPLANE RIGHT GODDAMN NOW!’ I looked back at him and just said, ‘Look Sarge, it doesn’t matter what you do or say, I’m not jumping out of this plane.’ Sarge looked right back at me and said ’BOY, YOU WILL EITHER JUMP OUT OF THIS AIRPLANE RIGHT MOTHER FUCKING NOW OR I WILL STICK MY BIG DICK RIGHT IN YO ASS!”
His dad looks back at him and asks, “So, did you jump?”
He says, “Well, a little at first.”
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
That one actually made me laugh a little.
You are getting better.
by Carfino'sWay on Mar 8, 2011 12:35 PM CST up reply actions
Methinks that Hail to the Chief will be getting their highest vote total yet
Somebody should probably alert them of the BHGP bomb headed their way.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
They Tweeted about the influx:
Damn, if we’d known we were going to get so many new readers today, we’d have put on some pants. about an hour ago
by The Final Gun on Mar 7, 2011 12:22 PM CST up reply actions
It's now a bookmark for me, I'll be visiting again. Excellent and funny writing.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 7, 2011 12:49 PM CST up reply actions
The BHGP bomb may also skew the voting for HHH
What Great Depression?
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 7, 2011 12:50 PM CST up reply actions
Hey, we know the difference between Triple H and Herbert Clark Hoover.
Or were you saying that watching Triple H wrestle causes great depression, because I’d agree with that.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 7, 2011 2:56 PM CST up reply actions
Nope, I'm just an idiot thinking my own stupid joke was a past truth
I always refer to the Herbert Hoover Highway as Triple H, and for some reason that bled into my thoughts there.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 7, 2011 3:25 PM CST up reply actions
It made me think of
Hubert H. Humphrey. And that cocksucker was from Minnesota.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
Happy Harry Hardon.
"Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid - ever, because... this is just a ride."
by Bucketochicken on Mar 7, 2011 6:35 PM CST up reply actions
DANCING CAT GIF'S?
That is strangely awesome.
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
Are they DIRTY Dancing Cat GIFs?
/jNW Psychology Class’d
OK ...one time Randy Beaman had to take baths with his brother ... so one time his little brother took a potty in the bathtub ... and now Randy Beaman gets to take showers by himself. 'K. Bye
God, how has that show (and everything associated with it) NOT been sucked into a black hole (created by the gravity of its own stupidity) yet?
And that neutered Clint Eastwood voice that he uses is a pathetic (and ineffective) way to cover up a show full of Playtime Poppy caliber acting.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 7, 2011 2:52 PM CST up reply actions
Is that pronounced
DOODY Noble or DUDDY Noble?
Either way, I think it’s safe to say that the South exists primarily for our amusement. And “Actual names of real life human beings that you’re apt to find in the South” is a large chunk of that.
"I know you're from Middle America, and sometimes you feel like you're representing more than just a school or a conference, maybe an entire group of American citizens out there."
by Twin Cities Hawk on Mar 7, 2011 12:22 PM CST reply actions
I like the southern folk generally speaking, but summuvem are just too much.
For example: People named Bubba. Not NICKNAMED, but actual, given, on the birth certificate, named fucking Bubba.
Too much.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 7, 2011 2:46 PM CST up reply actions
I get referrals from a MD named Cletus
I have a tough time respecting him.
"Sometimes the truth gets in the way of a good story" - KF
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 8, 2011 7:20 AM CST up reply actions
Has anyone seen comments from Cezar about his visit?
Because hell. If he’s not seriously considering us after that, he was never coming here anyway.
I had a run of uniqueness last week.
I’m pretty sure shits not supposed to come out hot pink.
qdoba is a poor man’s pancheros…
Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Mar 7, 2011 2:52 PM CST reply actions
Thanks for the link to Doxsie.
Is his analysis usually so inciteful?
Obvioiusly Hunter’s draft stock will plummet because of his pass catching skills that Doxsie caught a glimpse of in one drill. Not saying you wouldn’t love an LB who can pick off passes in coverage, but really?
“Nobody” liked Stanzi? Except for Sharpe and Irvin who thought his passing looked good, iirc. And then he backs up his poor opinion of Stanzi by throwing out rating that he promptly discounts because the “reigning Heisman winner” is 10/16 for QBs? So should Newton be higher because he won the Heisman or because he’s actually got the potential to be a good NFL QB? Unless he comes bundled with Malzahn in the draft I don’t think he’ll look as good in the NFL as he did in his one year of productive playing time at Auburn.






















