MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 2: RICKY STANZI VS. FRAN McCAFFERY
by Patrick Vint on Mar 21, 2011 12:27 PM CDT
in Marchifornication
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PrintTHE #2 SEED: RICKY STANZI
Round 1: Defeated DJK 520-282.
THE #3 SEED: FRAN McCAFFERY
Round 1: Defeated JoePa 525-282.
For the semi-finals of Marchifornication we have arranged a special Wunderlic-to-the-Death for Stanzi and Franzi. What follows is an excerpt of the questions and their muttered comments recorded during the test. Some of the expletives have been altered to meet the strict family-friendly standards of BHGP.
1. A physical education class has three times as many girls as boys. During a class basketball game, the girls average 18 points each, and the class as a whole averages 17 points per person. How many points does each boy score on average?
STANZI: Well, everyone knows America averages an awesomeness level of 18, and that it has roughly three times as many people as France; let's say we combined the two countries [shudders] and they had an awesomeness level of 17... then, there would be 300 million Americans times 18 and 100 million times some unknown quantity ... 14!
FRAN: The boys in MY FRANNING CLASS are averaging MOTHERFRANNING 17points per game compared to the FRANDAMN GIRLS?!?! Judas FRANNING Priest! Unless Margaret is in that class CROSSING MOTHERFRANNERS up, there is no FRANDAMN WAY that is happening! The right answer's not on here, so I'll just write it in: RUN FRANNING LAPS!
2. Randolph has 8 ties, 6 pairs of pants, and 4 dress shirts. How many days could he possibly go without wearing the same combination of these three items?
STANZI: Ah, this must refer to Edmund Randolph, governor of Virginia and delegate to the Constitutional Convention. It's well known that Governor Randolph would go "nine-score and twelve" days without changing his cravat or pantaloons, so ... 192.
FRAN: I think Randolph needs to get his FRANNING PRIORITIES STRAIGHT! I have one tie (gold), one pair of pants (black) and 1 dress shirt (white), and I GET FRAN DONE JUST FINE. You think I don't SWEAT during GAMES, RANDOLPH!? It's called MARTI-FRANNING-NIZING! I work off more calories FRANNING CURSING than that FRANNING FISHMAN Michael Phelps does swimming! I have to eat a can of Betty Crocker frosting after games just so I don't go into FRANNING COMA! So the answer is easy: that FRANHOLE Randolph could go ONE DAY before FRAN TOOK A FRANDAMN HEDGE-CLIPPERS TO HIS PRECIOUS SUPER-FRANNING-FLUOUS TIES! [breaks
five no. 2 pencils over his knee]
3. What is the average of all of the integers from 13 to 37?
STANZI: This is a simple matter of applying the solution Johann Carl Friedrich Gauss gave to his elementary school mathematics teacher when he was asked to sum the numbers from 1 to 100... 25!
FRAN: MOTHERFRANNING GAUSS, not a day goes by without me using something I learned from your Mathe-frannende-matisches Tagebuch...the answer is 25.
4. What is the next number in the sequence: 5,15, 25, 35 ...
STANZI: Connecticut, Kentucky, Arkansas, West Virginia... Utah! I mean, 45!
FRAN: How did these FRANNING WONDERLIC FRANHOLES get my substitution chart!? The next number is 2, obviously.
5. EQUESTRIAN PEDESTRIAN
These two words
A) Have similar meanings
B) Have opposite meanings
C) Have neither similar nor opposite meanings
STANZI: Equestrian = horses = the US Cavalry = America, but horses also = horse racing = the sport of kings = monarchy = England; Pedestrian = hippies = shiftlessness = communism = Russia, but
Pedestrian = walker = Texas Rangers = America... this is too confusing... C.
FRAN: Hmm... I've never called an opponent a walker-franner before (except for Kemba Walker on occasion), but a horsefranner? Sure, thousands of times. Wait, what was the question again? And why am I taking this test? I graduated from the Uni-FRANNING-versi-FRANNING-ty of PENNSYL-FRANDAMN-VANIA! Fran this, it's time for Fran to Fran Franup. [throws desk out window, storms out of room].
These tests are of course biased against rageaholics with their love for rageahol, so who do you think should move on?
134 comments
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Balls!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
Shouldn't you be
cooking or vacuuming or something?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
I would like to say that joke gets funnier
but that would be untruthful of me.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 21, 2011 8:46 PM CDT up reply actions
Gotta be Stanzi
I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.
by Pain in the Sash on Mar 21, 2011 12:34 PM CDT reply actions
You mean
THE Norm Parker. Wait, that just looks wrong.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 21, 2011 2:24 PM CDT up reply actions
I love Stanzi, but..
…Frandammit, Fran earned the victory.
Stanzi is old and busted anyway. Fran’s the new hotness.
"There are no Pan Asian supermarkets down in hell, so you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts." - The Mountain Goats
Stanzi got #1 wrong?
Not very 30-like of him on such an easy question
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 21, 2011 12:47 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Shit. Read that on a phone as twice as many girls. Carry on.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 21, 2011 1:19 PM CDT up reply actions
Fran gets my vote
for the simple reason that his answer to questions 2 and 5 are amazing
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
Franamination
in that round, have to go with Franzi.
For the doubters, there is a photoshop of fire shooting out his butt.
"Sometimes the truth gets in the way of a good story" - KF
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 21, 2011 1:09 PM CDT reply actions
HOly fuck that Frank guy looks liek my dad.
He gets super pissed and uyells a lot too. He’s got my vote.
Hey Patrick or Andy, do you have to be registered to vote for this because I’mnot registered. Do I have to sign anything? And if I do do I have to use my real name? Because I want to siugn it “Hayden Fried.” Haha, “do do.” Means poop.
Call me, Chazz!
by DRUGS on Mar 21, 2011 1:15 PM CDT reply actions 11 recs
Every single comment is gold
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 21, 2011 1:25 PM CDT up reply actions
Pssst
I got that shipment in you have been waiting for. Also, where in the fuck have you been? FYI, that crazy bitch with the long nails has been calling around lookin’ for you again!
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride!" HST
Dude, discretion, come on.
And I think Long Nails girl might have me confsued with someone els, cuz I dont have any scratches and I dont rememebnr anything liek that (whoa big surprise but still);
Call me, Chazz!
Odds on how long it takes for Hayden Fried to show up as a user name?
Gotta be close to 1 doesn’t it?
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Mar 21, 2011 2:51 PM CDT up reply actions
you might wanna find Chazz, too
He’s been super-uptight the last day and a half and could really use your ‘calming influence’. We suggested he call you, but he didn’t get your number.
Think of me like Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda!
by Swarley on Mar 21, 2011 3:02 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
I just assume that every comment that is green is from DRUGS anymore,
until I scroll down, and find out whether it really is or not.
DRUGS never gave me his/her phone number, because I told him/her that it was “hip to be square.” DRUGS replied: “Huee Louis suCks.”
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 21, 2011 3:41 PM CDT up reply actions
Yeah, I don't have a phone right now sorry.
And Huey Lewis fuckin rules, hard. “Sports” is classic shit, and the Back to the Future soundtrack would’ve been lame as fuck without the H-man. Nobody rocked the narrow tie better. “Fore!” is pretrty tits too, but not as good as Sports".
Call me, Chazz!
Ok the 80s were prerry much totally retarded (gag me witha spoon!) but this song is pretty aws
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7JVlpm0eRs
sorry for the commercial, that bitch Pam or Julia or Trish 0r whatever the Progresive insurence lady’s name is is annoying as hell. Oh well.
Cuz the heart of rock n roll, heart of rock n roll is still beatin'..... in Cleveland
....Detroit!
The severe "LOL WUT" factor aside, he's right.
I'm giving up Lent for Science.
by Bucketochicken on Mar 21, 2011 5:45 PM CDT up reply actions
DRUGS enjoys The News?
Stop making me fall in love with you.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 21, 2011 9:41 PM CDT up reply actions
How dare you doubt me.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
According to the billboard on my way to work
Huey Lewis and the News are playing at a the Horseshoe casino in Hammond.
You could totally roadtrip there, man
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 21, 2011 6:23 PM CDT up reply actions
DRUGS= "green"
Judges? Yup, Chazz made a funny everybody.
The world has turned upside-down.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 23, 2011 11:51 AM CDT up reply actions
The real winner here
Is whoever supplies Fran’s caffine. He seems a little wound.
Oh, and…
…to meet the strict family-friendly standards of BHGP.
SHENANIGANS! I CALL BS!
For the Future, not the past
Vote Franzi!
Plus, he will never graduate and is unlikley to get kicked out for drugs.
Franzi is out recruiting voters like a mofo. He will win this one.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
We won!
I'm giving up Lent for Science.
by Bucketochicken on Mar 21, 2011 2:16 PM CDT up reply actions 6 recs
It went GREAT, thanks SO MUCH for asking. I went and got some great pics of me and Stanzi together.
You can’t really see me much in this one because I was in the locker right behind Stanzi.
I got a front row seat for his throws, but had to pull out some binoculars just in case.
I wanted to confirm things for myself here.
Overall, I was very satisfied.
by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Mar 21, 2011 9:04 PM CDT up reply actions 6 recs
The scary thing?
Those aren’t photoshops.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 21, 2011 9:42 PM CDT up reply actions
What's weirder about the first pic
1) AWOI
2) Stanzi’s superhuman trapezii
3) SEG is legitimately hiding in that locker
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 21, 2011 10:26 PM CDT up reply actions
I only saw the first picture at first
and I was about to get all in a tizzy that DRUGS was hanging out in the locker room.
"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."
by SomeJerkPoster on Mar 22, 2011 8:53 AM CDT up reply actions
All the commenters are for Fran, and yet Stanzi is in the lead by a lot.
Show yourselves, Stanzi voters. You got some splainin to do.
(Also, no one wants to get on the bandwagon with a bunch of secretive so-and-sos.)
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 21, 2011 2:29 PM CDT reply actions
I was just typing something very similar
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Mar 21, 2011 2:30 PM CDT up reply actions
Me too.
What is going on? This poll couldn’t be rigged could it? That is not what Marchifornication is about.
by Carfino'sWay on Mar 21, 2011 3:08 PM CDT up reply actions
YES IT IS
/Rambler’d via PW
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 21, 2011 3:13 PM CDT up reply actions
True.
This blog is a travesty inside of a puke bucket wrapped with lies.
"Use their guts to lubricate our single leg attacks!" - Lycurgus
by ReadingRambler on Mar 21, 2011 9:22 PM CDT up reply actions
THIS BLOG IS AN INTENSE TRAVESTY INSIDE A PUKE BUCKET FROM WORKING OUT SO MUCH, WRAPPED IN INTENSE LIES.
CAEL WOULDN’T EVEN CONSIDER THE EFFORT OF LYING. HE’D JUST SHIP THE BLOG OFF TO ANOTHER COLLEGE, WHERE IT WOULD WIN A NATIONAL TITLE AND MACHINE GUN THE CROWD!
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 21, 2011 9:44 PM CDT up reply actions
You're horrible.
"Use their guts to lubricate our single leg attacks!" - Lycurgus
by ReadingRambler on Mar 22, 2011 8:10 AM CDT up reply actions
I've never seen a puke bucket that was wrapped in truth.
Is that David Taylor’s puke?
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 23, 2011 11:55 AM CDT up reply actions
i went with stanzi.
his use of america to get all the questions correct was awesome. and after all… fran’s name has been adjusted to be like stanzi.
There's a franzi going on in here.
Settle down boys. We’re all friends in hur.
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
Franimal
Graduating from a university founded by Benjamin FRANklin, in the city where our nation was born (where he was also born and raised) > Ricky come lately 13 months of patriotic fervor and meme generation. It’s really petty simple.
Besides, the future is now and that future is FRAN.
by PackerHawk on Mar 21, 2011 2:54 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
I really like the Ricky Stanzi in Patriot Games poster, but...
Fran’s answers did it for me. Franimal FOREVER.
"December-April of 2010 is basically just a blur to me, filled with lots of boobs and passing out." - stanzi's ex-girlfriend
by The Ghost of John Hannah on Mar 21, 2011 2:55 PM CDT reply actions
I voted Stanzi.
It goes back to the ASATT thread. That won it for me.
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
I pledge allegiance to Stanzi's Ex-Girlfriend
and the man whom she will always stalk.
And to the Black and Gold that he wears so well.
One patriotic quarterback
Under center
Hating France
With liberty and "Fuck you, we’re Iowa" for all.
by Hawkeyegirl on Mar 21, 2011 3:07 PM CDT reply actions 9 recs
There's a rec
And one of the few arguments I’ll take for voting over the Franimal. It’s still a wrong vote but the reasoning is there.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 21, 2011 3:15 PM CDT up reply actions
OT: Why do 'Mericans hate France so much?
I quite like the cheese-eating surrender monkeys
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 21, 2011 3:24 PM CDT up reply actions
'Mericans hate weakness.
And surrendering. And hairy armpits on a woman. And body odor.
Perhaps I should just summarize with one word: Vichy.
But thanks for mentioning the cheese. Mmmm. Cheese.
I have absolutely made love to a Frenchwoman who had hairy armpits
What does it matter? Not like I stick my face in there and sniff deeply. Also, she was the worst French kisser of all time. So not all stereotypes are true.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 21, 2011 3:40 PM CDT up reply actions
Because lazily following along with memes and media narratives is the 'Mercan Way!
I'm giving up Lent for Science.
by Bucketochicken on Mar 21, 2011 3:38 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
This.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 21, 2011 3:43 PM CDT up reply actions
Not all French, just filthy Parisians. Phew. (spit)
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
This is a good point.
Lots of nice farmers, farmers’ daughters, and blue collar types in France.
"Use their guts to lubricate our single leg attacks!" - Lycurgus
by ReadingRambler on Mar 21, 2011 9:27 PM CDT up reply actions
This, entirely
Spent a week in France. The two days in Paris absolutely proved every bad thing you hear about the France (rude, smelly, etc). The rest of the time, spent in the countryside – aside from the language I’d have thought I was somewhere in the midwest US. Everyone was very friendly, very helpful (well groomed even!)
Please note that the internet does not, as of yet, have a sarcasm font.
In all seriousness...
I love reading about cultural interactions and, just using World War 2 as an example, Americans got along amazingly well with Aussies and the Brits, not so well with the Kiwis (A little too aloof and quiet, generally speaking, during the war), and not so well with the French either. Americans typically get along better with Italians or British than the French. I haven’t read enough to remember enough to offer actual reasoning, but it isn’t all to do with Iraq.
"Use their guts to lubricate our single leg attacks!" - Lycurgus
by ReadingRambler on Mar 21, 2011 9:26 PM CDT up reply actions
I think I need to give you the Sistine Chapel speech from Good Will Hunting
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 21, 2011 9:44 PM CDT up reply actions
Rambler, from what you just wrote,
it sounds to me like the other countries’ abilities to have a good sense of humor is key. Because you know the Americans are going to rag on them. Brits and Aussies would probably be able to laugh it off or at least play along in the humor, but I would guess the French are not as good at that, and I have no clue about New Zealanders.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 21, 2011 9:49 PM CDT up reply actions
New Zealanders are most likely different now.
They were pretty nervous in 1942 because half of their men were in Europe and the Japanese hadn’t been beaten. Oh, and the guys we sent over were Marines. Who are Marines.
"Use their guts to lubricate our single leg attacks!" - Lycurgus
by ReadingRambler on Mar 22, 2011 8:11 AM CDT up reply actions
Dude, it's just a meme.
A lame meme, but it still gets chuckles occasionally, so…
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 23, 2011 11:59 AM CDT up reply actions
I think I'm in denial
that he won’t be back next year. I want to love Sweet Baby James (Vandenberg), but it just won’t be the same.
When he throws a pick six, I’ll rise to my feet and yell “Stanzi!” in a kind of Pavlovian/Seinfeldian Newman! response. But alas, it won’t be Stanzi.
Sweet Baby James, you have some work to do.
That literally made me LOL.
Thanks, that really cheered me up!
by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Mar 21, 2011 6:23 PM CDT up reply actions
Yeah, been busy with work, school, baby, etc.
Dealing with bitches. Haters gonna hate.
by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Mar 21, 2011 6:45 PM CDT up reply actions
This is tough
On one hand you have the Hero of Fran Juan Hill and on the other you have The Great Estanzipator. I’m confident that America will prosper either way, but I went with Linco- err Stanzi
by hawk6894 on Mar 21, 2011 3:34 PM CDT reply actions 6 recs
I voted Stanzi...
for two reasons:
a) he’s done more for the Hawkeyes so far. This could change if Fran makes the NCAAs next year.
b) I’m practicing for 2012.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
America, Stanzi, and apple pie
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 21, 2011 4:11 PM CDT up reply actions
Let me get that for you
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 21, 2011 6:15 PM CDT up reply actions 18 recs
That's really disturbing
and totally rec’d
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 21, 2011 6:24 PM CDT up reply actions
Stunning.
/rec’d
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
Not even a photoshop.
McCaffery was a stunt-man/stand-in on Bloodsport.
/White Magic’d
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 21, 2011 9:51 PM CDT up reply actions
wow, we have Bloodsport and Bloodpunch here
All that blood’s gotta be pretty intimidating
by DJK's bongwater on Mar 22, 2011 2:17 PM CDT up reply actions
You are a true artist, HFMR!
Think of me like Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda!
That one wasn't even made for BHGP.
That’s from his personal stach (no pun).
He just likes to put Fran Heads on everything. That’s why he had to leave the Rocky Mountain state.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 23, 2011 12:05 PM CDT up reply actions
March KUMATE?
"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."
by SomeJerkPoster on Mar 22, 2011 8:55 AM CDT up reply actions
Thanks, no shop skills here. And you are a supreme being in that area.
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
i voted for the Stanzi
The Franimal is the new hotness however in Marchifornication today he was going by Franzi… obviously a little hero worship on his part. White Magic wanted the Stanzi to go out in style.
Carpe Diem! - Seize the Carp!
by pollo diablo on Mar 21, 2011 5:41 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
albiet
given the pellican whore got knocked out
on what i, and others in the masses might contend as apretty
well dignity keeps me from going there
-with apologies to egglatin –
but to choose between stanzi and the franzi
i almost biblical in proportion anzi
making us feel guiltly just thinking of splitting theanzi
nod from the winkanzi
the right from the wronganzi
and even the ying from the yanganzi
but i voted for franzi,,,,
my thinking that stanzi is where we beenanzi
succesful and brave and a knight extravanzi
thrills and spills subperb tosses donwfieldanzi
a dash and a aplompb and much classanzi
franzi is where we are headedanzi
not today but tommorowanzi
with ferocity and maddanzi
the past returning to fill carverhawkanzi
wtih cheers and heaven there is no beeranzi
(mary sue turned out to be a true wolverine whore)
theres no remorseanzi
in my stanzanzi
for picking the franzi
long live the pellican whore
I don't intend to upset folks with the way I write it just happens,,,
by OhioHawk on Mar 21, 2011 6:10 PM CDT reply actions 5 recs
You had me at "Mary Sue turned out to be a true wolverine whore."
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 21, 2011 9:55 PM CDT up reply actions
Stanzi
BECAUSE I LOVE AMERICA TOO
There is no way that Paki rushes for nine yards. -KenOKeefeIfuckinghateyou.
The issue here isn't whether Stanzi threw a few picks
or took a few liberties with his ex-girlfriend, he did. But you can’t hold a whole country responsible for the sickening, ugly throws of one quarterback. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the entire Iowa football team? And if the entire Iowa football team is guilty then isn’t this an indictment of American football in general? I put it to you BHGP isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can vote however you want but I, for one, am not going to sit here and let you bad mouth the entire United States of America.
Gentlemen!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
by HawKCP on Mar 21, 2011 8:18 PM CDT reply actions 5 recs
Was it over, when jNW bombed Pearl Harbor?
jNW? Forget it, he’s on a roll.
Any Animal House reference gets a rec from me
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 22, 2011 12:00 PM CDT up reply actions
After much deliberation, I voted for Ricky.
From the work he did last year to save that Korean girl band (their name escapes me), to his ability to cut his int’s down to a number that we can count on our hands, to being the inspiration for one of the all-time great moments of the internet: the epic thread started by SEG.
I’m sure Fran will be back, he’ll be mad and he’ll one day win this whole thing.
Think of me like Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda!
Girls' Generation
I'm giving up Lent for Science.
by Bucketochicken on Mar 21, 2011 9:05 PM CDT up reply actions
THIS IS YOUR INTENSITY ALERT!
UNTIL I HEAR DIFFERENTLY, I’M ASSUMING THAT NEXT YEAR’S IOWA VS PENN STATE DUAL MEET WILL BE ON JANUARY 30, 2012. THEREFORE, I AM REMINDING YOU THAT THERE ARE 315 DAYS UNTIL WE TAKE OUR REVENGE ON THOSE NITTANY BASTARDS. IN HONOR OF THAT NUMBER OF DAYS, THE HAWKEYE WRESTLERS AND STAFF WILL BE DOING 315 CHIN-UPS TODAY, UNTIL EVERYONE COMPLETES THEM, OR UNTIL HALF THE TEAM DIES OF THE RHABDO.
WE WILL BECOME MORE INTENSITY!
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
Hmmmm
I’m sensing we need a yell off between Brands and JoePa.
The only loser will be the universe, which will obviously be destroyed
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 21, 2011 10:12 PM CDT up reply actions
that will be a duel to watch for sure
both teams will be better than they were this year and the odds on favorites to win the title again, so, fun in the sun
by justsomehawkeyefan on Mar 21, 2011 10:14 PM CDT up reply actions
Duel
Dual
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 21, 2011 10:22 PM CDT up reply actions
Is it me
or does that look like it’s go time? From left to right “Ref, keep him over there!” “It’s go time old man.” “Oh fuck. Cael don’t. He get’s REAL angry and you won’t like him angry.” “Me v you and 10 of your toughest out back.”
MMA has absolutely nothing
on what was going to happen in this pic. had the ref not been there.
"Sometimes the truth gets in the way of a good story" - KF
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 22, 2011 7:54 AM CDT up reply actions
Look at Brands' face
He’s probably thinking “Time to rip some fucking arms off!!” Also, the crowd is up and clapping because we either won a match, had a good round, or they knew CHA was about to implode.
Hey Dolph, you look like I need a beer.
by Give Eddie a Beer on Mar 22, 2011 9:23 AM CDT up reply actions
Brands is about a half-second from taking Cael down in that picture
by DJK's bongwater on Mar 22, 2011 2:20 PM CDT up reply actions
Sanderson was actually rocking a little hair there.
I think he’s going with the full bald look now.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I don't know
Brands, to me, looks like he has a look of ‘oh shit you guys don’t want this. He’ll kill you, start eating you, and there are so many witnesses. PLUS I’m not sure if we have enough tranq to take him down this time. He’s building an immunity…’
A pissed off Gable would make walking through downtown The Walking Dead Atlanta look like a walk in the park…
by Grixxly on Mar 22, 2011 2:48 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
This, exactly
Brands’ face elicits intensity in so many ways that I wasn’t quite sure, but I think you’re right.
Hey Dolph, you look like I need a beer.
by Give Eddie a Beer on Mar 22, 2011 3:29 PM CDT up reply actions
The avatar similarity made me think Grixxly was congratulating himself
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 22, 2011 5:36 PM CDT up reply actions
Excellent, Grixxly!
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 22, 2011 4:37 PM CDT up reply actions
You can’t even be bothered to change your name to Tom Brands. And, of course, you know as well as I do that Brands understands all caps distracts typists from scoring with accuracy. Shooting with all caps leads to counter shots and getting pinned.
"Use their guts to lubricate our single leg attacks!" - Lycurgus
by ReadingRambler on Mar 22, 2011 8:12 AM CDT up reply actions
Is that what happened to Taylor?
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Mar 22, 2011 9:08 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
No, Bubba cheated because he's a dirty redneck.
Didn’t you see him hide his switchblade in his shoe?
"Use their guts to lubricate our single leg attacks!" - Lycurgus
by ReadingRambler on Mar 22, 2011 10:18 AM CDT up reply actions
The do-rag was clearly an unfair advantage.
by The Mexican't on Mar 22, 2011 11:05 AM CDT up reply actions
And the sweet cradle ability
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
You have to be tough in tough situations, Rambler
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
Because i'm American Dammit
And i love my kids outfit in this pic!
i don't wife em...i one night em
by smokinthereiff on Mar 21, 2011 11:48 PM CDT reply actions 5 recs
Great pic,
but how afraid were you that Ricky would chuck the kid back to you, and the child would fall into the dumpster for another Rick-six?
/just kidding. Ricky rocks!
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 22, 2011 4:39 PM CDT up reply actions
+700,000,000 internet points for a Gauss reference.
"They're not people, James Ingram. They're Jimmy Buffett fans."
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