MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 1: FRANIMAL VS. JOEPA
by RossWB on Mar 2, 2011 12:00 PM CST
in Marchifornication
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What have you done? Taken over the beaten-down Iowa hoopyball program and infused it with new life, implored us all to GET MAD (and followed his own advice, too), inspired one of the greatest Beyond Photoshop threads in this site's history, gone on a voyage to the moon, led off Horace E. Cow's invaluable hoops recaps.
#6 SEED: JOEPA
What have you done? Retained a quarterback, been defeated by Iowa (again), declined to attend the inaugural meeting of The 7-5 Club, worked with Vladimir Putin to try and eliminate Ricky Stanzi and the rest of Team America, kinda coasted by on his reputation, frankly.
LET'S GET IT ON!
(H/T to Horace E. Cow for his excellent Photoshoppery)
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Did JoePa go to the moon on rocket blasts out of his ass?
I think not.
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 12:13 PM CST up reply actions
I bet JoePa was part of the original Soviet space missions.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
In the 1960s, JoePa was busy coaching men who looked kinda like Lee Marvin.
Fran McCaffery has, to date, not beaten Ed DeChellis (!) and he has certainly never coached anyone who looks kinda like Lee Marvin.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 12:28 PM CST up reply actions
I dunno.
Brommer kinda has those half-simian features that Marvin had.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Has Brommer ever sung "Wanderin Star"?
No.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 12:35 PM CST up reply actions
I think I'm the only one my age that appreciates that reference.
I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.
by Pain in the Sash on Mar 2, 2011 12:39 PM CST up reply actions
Paint your fucking wagon
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
Ugh
Serenity now, serenity now, serenity now
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 2:25 PM CST up reply actions
FREEBIRD! PLAY FREEBIRD! FREEEEEEEBIIIIIIIIRRRRRD! WOOOOOOOOOO!
[Damn kids, GET OFF MY LAWN!]
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 2, 2011 3:14 PM CST up reply actions
Yessir
I hate being 20 and I was raised on Clint Eastwood movie and the tones of Johnny Cash. Actually I love every minute of it. I feel like a Western hipster.
I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.
by Pain in the Sash on Mar 2, 2011 2:43 PM CST up reply actions
I'm 29 and think of
1950’s Cash as recent
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
damn straight
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
Then the movie lied to me? Even the tractor scene?
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 2, 2011 3:01 PM CST up reply actions
Uh, the gonorrhea isn't from the tractor.
"The 'holy bible': a collection of writings by people who had no idea where lightning comes from." ~ Anon
by Bucketochicken on Mar 2, 2011 5:47 PM CST up reply actions
Carfino'sWay
Always there with a dose of cold hard reality.
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
Hate that movie.
HATE.
"The 'holy bible': a collection of writings by people who had no idea where lightning comes from." ~ Anon
by Bucketochicken on Mar 2, 2011 5:46 PM CST up reply actions
So do I.
I want to love it because, hey, Lee and Clint in the same movie! Not so much.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 7:30 PM CST up reply actions
JoePa was part of the original Nazi space missions.
Here is where I would put a custom ‘shopped pic of JoePa in a spacesuit standing on the moon next to a V2 holding a Nazi flag, with the earth behind him and the caption “1942”, but I’m feeling unmotivated.
JoePa was at peenemunde?
I heard he wanted to bring Von Braun in to call all Penn State’s pass plays next season.
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
"That Von Braun, he's a good kid, but I'm not sure what we're going to do with him."
“Maybe you guys (the media) can tell me.” sly grin
by HawkeyeRecon on Mar 2, 2011 2:14 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I nicknamed my penis "my vengeance weapon"
because I only get to show it to bomber out British chicks
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
bombed not bomber
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
Recon's comment should have about 10 recs.
Alas, mine is the only one, currently.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 2, 2011 10:04 PM CST up reply actions
The Luger
frequent premature firing
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
by Lycurgus on Mar 2, 2011 2:23 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Winner
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 2:27 PM CST up reply actions
He forgot to also mention the frequent inability to fire
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 2, 2011 2:30 PM CST up reply actions
Von Manstein
lifelong regret for any number of failed conquests, but will utterly devastate your battlefield for 15 seconds.
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
David Taylor
Talented, technically sound, good looking, and often leaves one panting.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 2:35 PM CST up reply actions
Both are complete pricks
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
No moreso than weightmate McIlravy.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 2:48 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah
but Linc is browed for her pleasure
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
by Lycurgus on Mar 2, 2011 2:49 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
bomber out?
as in “the bomb bay doors are always open”?
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 2, 2011 3:17 PM CST up reply actions
meant "bombed out"
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
I got it.
Now nothing about this is funny.
WAY TO EXPLAIN THE JOKE AND RUIN THE UNIVERSE!
This is all your fault.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 2, 2011 11:35 PM CST up reply actions
Seeing this picture
makes me think that JoePa is having a Fran-like rocket blowout going on in his pants. He must have Depends made of Kryptonite.
by Hank Thrasher on Mar 2, 2011 4:26 PM CST up reply actions
It's like a sketchy druggie you just met...
“Just go with it, maaaan.”
Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Mar 2, 2011 4:26 PM CST up reply actions
You voters are such a bunch of chumps.
Fact #1: “Franimal” has a losing record, JoePa did not.
Fact #2: Iowa’s basketball team lost to Penn State’s basketball team.
Fact #3: Losing to Penn State’s basketball team is like losing to France in 1940!
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
You are voting for the new, shiny, unproven face rather than a known champion!
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 12:09 PM CST up reply actions
Fran can still make it a whole game without pooping himself
/mandatory immature old-Pa joke.
I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.
by Pain in the Sash on Mar 2, 2011 12:12 PM CST up reply actions
Oh, cool, the Ohio State fans are here today.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 12:13 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
At least France held out for 46 days
Penn State’s basketball team was defeated before they even set foot on the floor.
Except for when THEY PLAYED FRANIMAL'S TEAM, MAN
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 12:22 PM CST up reply actions
Is Fran constantly being thwarted by Thundercats? I think not.
Mumrahh!
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
Only against supernatural creatures.
Like the Thundercats, or Hawkeyes.
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
I honestly can't decide
I’ll be watching the comments and try to make my decision. I am leaning towards Fran because JoePa had a down year here. I mean… if this were the year of the Chronicles it would be no contest but its not.. Someone convince me!
"If you're easily offended, we thank you for stopping by but ask that you turn your browser elsewhere." -- BHGP Disclaimer
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Mar 2, 2011 12:18 PM CST reply actions
Take a look at the Beyond Photoshop thread again
That might’ve been the most I’ve laughed at a BHGP article ever. And that, good sir, is saying something.
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 12:21 PM CST up reply actions
THIS
Anyone who can inspire
one of the greatest Beyond Photoshop threads in this site’s history, while knowing the photoshopping that occurs here, deserves to win.
JoPa, like in the NCAA, your time with Marchifornication is well past its due date.
by IowanInChicago on Mar 2, 2011 1:52 PM CST up reply actions
I have a feeling this is 2004.
So next year JoePa will come back and make your mothers cry as he leaves on his Harley with the Marchifornication title being dragged behind.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 1:54 PM CST up reply actions
I really hope so
the lack of JoePa Chronicles this year was depressing.
MR. PATERNO WILL BE FINE
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 1:57 PM CST up reply actions
I'm thinking it is more likely a rascal than a harley.
/sorry’d
Now you ain't gonna come up here and steal Pepper Jack's best ho.
Fine.
But a rascal with a 427 C.I. engine.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 5:30 PM CST up reply actions
Does Mr. Paterno subscribe to Life Alert?
Now you ain't gonna come up here and steal Pepper Jack's best ho.
Fran McCaffery has never beaten Penn State.
Joe Paterno has beaten Iowa, although it was either with Morelli or in the 1970s. Still.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 12:23 PM CST up reply actions
Has to be the Franimal
Joe Pa lost to the Zooker by 20 at home. That is all.
Arsenal, Hawkeyes, Bears, and Brewers: gotta win something sometime right?
Uh huh, that's great.
One could make the argument that Fran McCaffery was outcoached by Ed DeChellis.
I repeat: Ed DeChellis!
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 12:24 PM CST up reply actions
And by Outcoached
You mean “PSU Has Talor Battle and Iowa Doesnt”.
Arsenal, Hawkeyes, Bears, and Brewers: gotta win something sometime right?
Irrellevant!
The French had some worthwhile men in 1940, but they still sucked!
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 12:29 PM CST up reply actions
I can't choose until
I know what JoePa’s relationship was with Franco. Was that where his hatred of spaniards came from? Was he a member of the Abe Lincoln brigade? Was he at Guernica? I must know!!!
Everybody wants a little milk of Michael
He was busy making babies with Gary Cooper’s mom at that time.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 2:08 PM CST up reply actions
I have to go with the Franimal.
He needs the fan support behind him so the team can get better. More butts in the seats = more wins. Or so we’ve been told.
I'm torn, but I'm not sure it matters.
Obviously that dastardly JoePa will just assassinate or imprison Fran if Fran pulls it off, so does it matter who I vote for?
"There are no Pan Asian supermarkets down in hell, so you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts." - The Mountain Goats
Are you implying that MARCHIFORNICATION is not on the up and up, sir?
SCANDALOUS!
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I would never say such a thing about MARCHIFORNICATION!
I would however say it about Joe Paterno. That dude would sell his grandmother’s corpse if it got him advanced in MARCHIFORNICATION. Or if it angered a Spaniard….you know, either way he wins.
"There are no Pan Asian supermarkets down in hell, so you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts." - The Mountain Goats
Ah, yes, that's very true.
MR. PATERNO is indeed a wily one.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
That dude would sell his grandmother’s corpse if it got him advanced in MARCHIFORNICATION hadn’t already turned to dust (She was one of Abraham’s wives- – after Sarah).
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 2, 2011 1:40 PM CST up reply actions
I think this should come down to their wives
Margaret McCaffery on one side getting called for a Technical for harassing the ref or Sue Paterno on the other side hanging a Referee doll in a noose on her front door after a questionable Lion loss. In a street fight pitting husbands against wives, I would bet the bank on the ladies.
with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
You've got the story a little wrong.
It was Joe who hung it out (Wait…), and the it was a pair of striped zebra pants, and it was actually the garage door.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 12:36 PM CST up reply actions
Had to be Fran
His win total would’ve gotten us into the BCS. That’s more than KF can say. Grumble grumble 3 million a year. Grumble Grumble
I got 99 donuts cuz a bitch ate one.
by Pain in the Sash on Mar 2, 2011 12:38 PM CST reply actions
I have to go with Fran
especially seeing how that old bastard JoePa had me Trololo’ed last year
Yee-Haw! I ride again!
by Cornshoe Hammaker on Mar 2, 2011 12:43 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
This really should be the main reason for anyone.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Mar 2, 2011 12:57 PM CST up reply actions
He really should've just turned around and opened up the microwave
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 1:00 PM CST up reply actions
Sadly, I have to go on the merits of this year alone
and JoePa, while having a good year on the site, hasn’t had the photo greatness that the Franimal has.
On the bright side, I know JoePa will be back next year. And the year after that. Forever.
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
Protect ya brain Fran
I’m voting for you…and JoePa is hungry.
Damn you super sperm!
This is such an hard one.
On the one hand, I like being MAD again, on the other hand, I have mucho respect for the old dude that runs after referees after a football game.
Both gentlemen have big ups in my book, but there has to be a winner and a loser for every contest. I shall think on this for a little longer and make my decision based on whimsical notions.
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
Wow, what made you ask that? Was my post incoherent in any way?
I got called this morning to go on an emergency job in Mississippi, we are going to a location within an hour’s drive of New Orleans and it’s Mardi Gras weekend. Nightly costs for the hotel stay are in the $200’s. This is going to be super awesome.
Oh yeah, and it’s entirely possible that I’ll be pulling 16 hour shifts for the next few days. This will be even more awesome.
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Mar 2, 2011 1:57 PM CST up reply actions
Nah, man, I just like accusing folks of being "drunk again"- - also, your post from a few nights ago about how fun it was to be drunk and laugh at everything.
I just enjoyed your decision making process, is all.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 2, 2011 3:30 PM CST up reply actions
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
This is such an hard one.
by DJK's bongwater on Mar 2, 2011 2:58 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
JoePa
Fighting communists and embracing senility since 1960.
Franimal is a Marchifornication virgin, let him get some experience and come back next year.
What's wrong with you people
no way would MR. PATERNO ever be ok with losing to a damned Irish!
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
JoePa has my vote
1 – I hate…oh what do you guys call it over here? “Hoopyball”. JoePa represents a better sport. And at this age, his skin matches the ball.
2 – Giant Mammal (Pa Kong) over Giant Reptile (Franzilla)
3 – Sorry Hawks, but if your coach can’t beat Penn State, he can’t win here.
4 – I want to see JoePa advance to meet Pelican Whore
Your desire to see JoePa advance to meet Pelican Whore is likely to get uppended by a number of possibilities.
1 – Dino racecars
2 – Stanzi/DJK
3 – AIRBHG Don’t sleep on him, he’ll shred your ACL
Those are all potentially dangerous to P Whore and JoePa
Think of me like Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda!
Don't forget DRUGS.
Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Mar 2, 2011 4:26 PM CST up reply actions
DRUGS is bad...
…ask your mom.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
Is that how Morelli was born?
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 2:27 PM CST up reply actions
No.
It looked like this:
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!"
by ReadingRambler on Mar 2, 2011 2:34 PM CST up reply actions
Noodling!
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 2, 2011 2:37 PM CST up reply actions
Amazing
Winning the Marchifornication photoshop so far
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 7:32 PM CST up reply actions
Is that the Love Shack?
TIIIIIIIIIIIN ROOF, Pelican Whore!
F-E-R-G-……
JoePa with a couple post-op trannies. Now I’ve seen (almost) everything.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 2, 2011 11:43 PM CST up reply actions
As JoePa himself once said of Fergie:
“TWENTY DOLLARS SAID THAT THING HAS A PENIS AND NO DISTENDED BELLY IS GOING TO TELL ME OTHERWISE”
Eyeheart will be fine, thank you.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 3, 2011 6:22 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I laughed my ass off when I read that in the original "transcript"
No, I’m not drunk again. That was last night.
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Mar 4, 2011 7:39 AM CST up reply actions
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
As others have referenced, this wouldn’t have even been a contest two years ago. Fran would have had 1 vote.
I voted for Fran because JoePa took Cornshoe out last year and stole my right to watch him “BOOM!” his way to the finals.
The takaway?
IN 2011 WE MUST HAVE MORE JOEPA CHRONICLES! The new readership around here deserves it.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 2, 2011 1:50 PM CST reply actions
IN 2011 WE MUST HAVE MORE JOEPA CHRONICLES!
This just goes without saying
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 1:51 PM CST up reply actions
I actually voted for JoePa
Because I didn’t want to see him blanked, but I forgot about RR since I have actually been drinking. I really hope this year has more pran… er phone calls and JoePa chronicles. They are epic!
Don't you silly bastards know anything?
JoePa is immortal. He was instrumental in the Boxer Rebellion and is still going strong. No man can defeat him.
If Jesus believed himself to be real, he was a Christian AND a Jew. Your bumper sticker is now invalid.
JoePa has been around since
day two, you know right after light. Rumor has it he opposed the creation of dirt.
JoePa doesn't acknowledge God
He was made in the image of an Italian grocer and you goddamn commies are gonna live with it!
If Jesus believed himself to be real, he was a Christian AND a Jew. Your bumper sticker is now invalid.
he didn't oppose the creation of dirt
just the rule change that made it possible.
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 2, 2011 3:17 PM CST up reply actions
If Paterno loses in the first round here
I think we can all expect an angry vengeful Joe come this fall. Expect anything when we enter Beaver stadium in October.
JoePa can't be defeated
simply by getting less votes. Fran’s brain is too tempting and trolololololo guy is hiding somewhere…
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 2, 2011 3:20 PM CST up reply actions
Sounds funny
“Expect anything when we enter Beaver stadium”
When it get an update will it be called Shaved Beaver Stadium"
It's so sad how a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
by FiveSecondRuleChef on Mar 2, 2011 8:52 PM CST up reply actions
Welcome to BHGP
The door is over there
Please note that the internet does not, as of yet, have a sarcasm font.
Hold on now
I don’t know about you but I like a good fuck
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 3:16 PM CST up reply actions
Not if it is coming from a dude
named meatybob
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
Touche
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 3:24 PM CST up reply actions
there you go again
usin’ them words you know I don’t understand
You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 2, 2011 3:27 PM CST up reply actions
I think he said he liked being touched
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 2, 2011 4:36 PM CST up reply actions
Hey don't blame me..
everybody is saying it at EDSBS. Its the new thing that just happened currently.
I thought you guys knew?
Deadspin: by douche bags, for douche bags.
We'll see how your tune changes
when the pork, corn, and meth embargoes begin
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
You keep it real.
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
I can't tell you how many times I heard this very thing from my mom.
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
Are you saying that my mom isn't fun?
Actually, there is no way you are my mom, she struggles with opening an internet browser.
Any female that posts on college wrestling is aces in my book.
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
I would never say that about your mother.
But if she is anything like mine, and it sounds like she is, she could be more fun.
Cough MICHELLE BACHMANN Cough
Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Mar 2, 2011 4:28 PM CST up reply actions
As much as I might agree with you, let's remember to leave politics out of this.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Yes, yes, of course.
I knew I’d be risking a hand-slapping on that one.
Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Mar 2, 2011 6:35 PM CST up reply actions
Sadly, she was born in Waterloo.
I fear for our future.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 2, 2011 10:08 PM CST up reply actions
Makes sense.
Ba-dum-cha.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 2, 2011 10:37 PM CST up reply actions
But she was born in the past.
WHY WEREN’T YOU FEARING BACK THEN!? YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS!!!
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 2, 2011 11:46 PM CST up reply actions
I was going to make a "5th Terminator movie" joke here...
but I’d prefer not to, given the recent happenings in Arizona. I will not make threats and be put in jail.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Mar 6, 2011 9:29 PM CST up reply actions
Actually
It was an attempted riff on the “Fuck Clemson” meme which has been going strong over there for some time. The comments would seem to indicate that WE HATE IOWA is the preferred rip on us.
Yee-Haw! I ride again!
by Cornshoe Hammaker on Mar 2, 2011 3:56 PM CST up reply actions
Almost as creative as "Fuck Iowa"
Damn those rodent-lovers are sharp.
by Hank Thrasher on Mar 2, 2011 4:30 PM CST up reply actions
Once again proving that while their hate is strong
their directional skills are off, as we are over here, and that thread, like the other games that they chant it during, are not where we are.
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 2, 2011 4:38 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I saw it about 3 hours ago. Looked at the level of intelligence going on there and determined it wasn't worth bringing to the attention of the brain trust here.
Think of me like Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda!
I voted for Fran
purely based on the Franship blasting off into space. I mean come on, he flew to outerspace! Besides, that dastardly JoePa will be back. He always finds a way to come back.
He also found lots of little green Izzoians
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 3:17 PM CST up reply actions
This may be the toughest round of all for me
Fran— Seven technicals and counting, the photoshop alone is compelling, still losing but you can see the change coming.
JoePa— A slower year for him, frankly, but his deft handling of the QB situation gives him major points.
Just too much history here, and a for the chance to sabotage other matchups as he advances, I have to give it to JoePa.
Don Nordmann, we hardly knew ye
Random question
Has anybody seen the movie “Cedar Rapids” yet? Is it good?
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
There are no random questions during Marchifornication
and no, I haven’t seen it
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 3:48 PM CST up reply actions
I am flying back home to go to the big tens
and I thought I would go to the movie with my brother
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
Planning on seeing it this weekend.
I’ll let you know what I think. Hopefully it doesn’t smell like burnt tires and oatmeal.
Now you ain't gonna come up here and steal Pepper Jack's best ho.
Why would it be called Cedar Rapids
and not smell that way?
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 2, 2011 4:39 PM CST up reply actions
Having flashbacks
And Crunchberries. The G.D. Crunchberries.
Thanks Niner, I really needed that reminder of CR. :-p
I drove up I-380 last weekend
And as we got close exclaimed, “I hope it’s Crunchberry day!” To which the fiance responded, “what the fuck are you talking about?” Then the smell of non-Crunchberry day filled my nostrils with stink and my heart with sadness.
by Hank Thrasher on Mar 2, 2011 5:44 PM CST up reply actions
I am from PA
was in Cedar Rapids a few weeks ago and asked my co-worker “what is that smell”
Mauti Matters
"Which one?"
probably
"The 'holy bible': a collection of writings by people who had no idea where lightning comes from." ~ Anon
by Bucketochicken on Mar 2, 2011 6:19 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Needs more recs
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 2, 2011 10:38 PM CST up reply actions
and then you can rec my sweet new joke about the chicken that crossed the road.
by The Final Gun on Mar 2, 2011 11:02 PM CST up reply actions
Is it that old? Damn.
But tell me more about this chicken, it sounds interesting. Crossing the road, you say?
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Mar 3, 2011 8:46 AM CST up reply actions
is oatmeal the least embarrassing?
it’s not near as bad as the paper mill stench you get hit with when you get off a plane in Savannah
Mauti Matters
It received a B from reviewers and B+ users on Yahoo.
I want to see it. I think it looks funny even though it was filmed in that whore Ann Arbor.
There is nothing unfunny about Cedar Rapids
if it took place in Eldridge I’m sure it would be a laugh riot
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
Two thumbs up!
Saw it out here in DC with some fellow Iowans. Very funny! Highly recommended. While filmed in AA, there were multiple shots of CR, including the amazing Quaker Oats facility. I could almost smell it.
Cool, thanks
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
Michigan is stealing our cities?
arrgggh
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
We should have pulled the old bait and switch on them...
And sent them Clinton or Council Bluffs.
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Mar 2, 2011 4:19 PM CST up reply actions
Too much amateur porn talent comes out of those two cities to just give them away
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
by Lycurgus on Mar 2, 2011 4:24 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Yep, sounds good
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
by Lycurgus on Mar 2, 2011 4:30 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Paint it Green.
It's so sad how a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
by FiveSecondRuleChef on Mar 2, 2011 8:58 PM CST up reply actions
More like they're giving better tax breaks, probably
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Not any more I think
there is some big deal going on up in MI because I think they are pulling those tax breaks.
"The challenge is the same every year. The battle is in-state. The battle is the Big 10 Conference. The battle is national. The battle is planet Earth. And if they find life out there, then the battle will be universal." -Tom Brands
It's a Frantastic Voyage.
Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Mar 2, 2011 4:28 PM CST reply actions
I'm 50% Irish, and 0% Italian.
Had to vote Fran. And anyway, Joe hates us damnable ethnic types.
"The 'holy bible': a collection of writings by people who had no idea where lightning comes from." ~ Anon
shameless homers!
a marchifornication finals without joepa is no marchifornication finals at all!
Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Mar 2, 2011 6:32 PM CST reply actions
Goodnight, sweet prince
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 2, 2011 7:47 PM CST reply actions 8 recs
Classic
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Mar 2, 2011 9:52 PM CST up reply actions
In case that one isn't clear enough for our PSU friends
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
by RossWB on Mar 2, 2011 10:18 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
Wow.
Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Mar 2, 2011 11:59 PM CST up reply actions
Rec'd, so so rec'd!!
Think of me like Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda!
Like that friend who gets drunk and starts flirting with the wall...
…you’re rec-ing thin air. I think you’ve had enough Marchifornication tonight buddy. How about you go home and sleep it off? Maybe grab yourself some coffee? Remember to hydrate.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Mar 2, 2011 11:58 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah, it was a simple reply fail. Damn.
Should have been a reply to HFMR’s pic
Think of me like Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro- I'm Broda!
I voted for JoePa.
I think Fran is still too new and un-depraved for me to vote for him in Marchifornication. Maybe next year, after Marge gets a tech and Fran has to pull her by her hair of the court.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
HOW THE FUCK DID JOEPA LOSE?!
No matter. Don’t count him out just yet. And yes, I have cross-posted this, BECAUSE I CAN.
by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Mar 4, 2011 9:51 PM CST reply actions
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