MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 1: STANZI VS. DJK

Modern Americans always pick drugs over freedom.

Including real life elections

DJK all day.

DJK has the numbers and the records but Stanzi’s got this je ne sais quoi. That’s why I went with Stanzi. ‘Course, if he ever caught me using French to justify my vote he’d head butt me into the next decade…

What is the face of the person walking in the background and are those boobs photoshopped too?

OMG IS THAT CHILD COMMUNIST???

but there’s this bangin’ drum circle going’ down outside Mickey’s, and then I’m gonna try to flirt with the Marco’s cart girl and get me a free sammich, so, I’m a bit too busy to cast my vote.
/dirty ped mall hippy’d

Is that a pale pink Armani suit with orange satin lining and a black turtleneck? Is he wearing ankle boots? Not only are the colors gauche, he’s mixing seasons. DJK would never dress like that. /outfit fail.

I vote Stanzi.

In the end I must vote for DJK, because while Stanzi is the manzi, DJK stuck it to the man.

I think it comes down to a dance off like the end of the MJ Beat It video. DJK perfects the moonwalk and defeats Stanzi just like he predicted.

and without CNN or FoxNews who am I to know who to choose. Then I remembered the raw deal DRUGS got in his matchup and the choice was clear. DJK has my vote.

But immediately upon casting my vote I wanted it back. Don’t make my same mistake fellow voters.

I’m a former heavy drug user and only slightly reformed hippie. So as much as I would love to, umm, salute Mr. Stanzi, I had to go DJK. Plus DJK’s Twitter feed made Dec and Jan worth living at times.

Because he saved us all from JC6.

but that happens often and i am not sure
whether it was all the drug use prior to my 22nd birthday
or the the fact that even though DJK let me down
he did it with style and class
and brass balls the size of my bowling ball
wait i sold my bowling ball when i got divorced
it was a ruse, a fake bowling team to go drinking on wednesday night
until my ex wife noticed our team scores werent in the paper
ohshit supreme
and i havent had a drink in 17 years
but i cast my vote for Ricky,,,,,,,,
still has the potential to end up in the finals with the
beloved pellican whore
he is more american than richard nixon
wait that worked for a while until he thought he could lie
Ricky would never do that
Ricky is as pure as the driven snow
Ricky saves us from the running dog lacky capitalist fascist pigs commies ever day
They should make a room at the white house that is his forever
he deserves a seat anywhere anytime for free

long live the pellican whore

Leaning to DJK at the moment, simply because I still feel bad he didn’t get to wear his Iowa helmet in the Texas vs world (or whatever it was called) bowl.

DJK was about as stylish a guy as we will ever see roll through the Iowa football program. Even better, when some of the team looked to have mailed it in at TCF, DJK showed his true colors and played full out. For better and for worse, I suspect we will not see the likes of him for a very long time around the football complex. He deserves a vote just for that. But still…I can’t get Stanzi, circa 2009, out of my head. I know, no lifetime achievement awards, but I’ll go a whole lifetime before I see anything like the Indiana game again, and some of the other roller coaster rides we all took. The Captain America stuff was just icing on the cake. Ended up voting for Ricky.

creeping on Stanzi in the first picture. Don’t let him get the video camera out Rick, don’t do it. Although, if the damage is already done you could probably get quite a bit of SEGs Japanese porn money in exchange.