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Around SBN: The Most Dangerous Division in Sports

CREEPYPALOOZA 2011: Linebackers, Defensive Backs, and Centaurs*

Sure, caring is creepy.  That's why we generally leave it to the Rivals/Scout guys.  But once their signature goes on the dotted line of an Iowa letter of intent, caring ceases to be creepy and becomes essential.  So, without further ado, your objects of affection and/or scorn (sometimes both at the same time) for the next four or five years.  Next up, the guys in the defensive backfield:

(again, don't forget to check out all the highlight videos at the GoHawks Signing Day blog.)

QUINTON ALSTON (6'1", 220)
Linebacker
Timber Creek Regional (Sicklerville, NJ)
3* Rivals, 3* Scout, 3* ESPN (79)
We should probably send a thank you note to Pitt for helping us land Alston.  He committed to the Wannstache last summer, but after seeing Wannstedt "resign" and going through a total of three coaches in the span of a month, he apparently had enough and called it quits with the Panthers and soon hooked up with Iowa.  So thanks for being a hot mess, Pitt.  Alston had a huge list of offers from BCS schools (including Boston College, Louisville, Stanford, Purdue, Pitt, West Virginia, and Wisconsin).  A knee injury kept him from playing in many games as a senior, but as a junior he had 80 tackles, 4 sacks, and 12 tackles for loss.  Alston projects as a middle linebacker, which is interesting because that's the same position that Melvin Spears also projects to play -- not to mention the same spot that James Morris could have on lockdown for the next three years.  Something's going to have to give there.
2011 Outlook: The linebacker depth chart is fairly wide open in 2011, so there's a chance that Alston could crack the two-deeps.  He also seems like a good bet to feature on coverage units on special teams.
Fun Fact: Owns every Jason Statham movie on DVD -- except In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, because it sucks.

TORREY CAMPBELL (5'11", 183)
Cornerback
Barron Collier (Naples, FL)
3* Rivals, 3* Scout, 3* ESPN (78)

Along with space-eating-yet-athletic defensive tackles, cornerbacks are probably the toughest defensive position to recruit, which could make Campbell one of the most valuable recruits in this class.  He's got the dreaded "athlete" designation and most of his highlights feature him running the ball, but the plan is for him to be a defensive back at Iowa.  Indeed, his offensive touches steadily decreased (from 159 carries as a sophomore to 73 as a junior to just 37 as a senior) at Barron Collier as he transitioned to a full-time defensive player.  Campbell doesn't quite have ideal size (he probably needs to be a few inches taller for that), but he measures up favorably with most of Iowa's current corners and he appears to have the one thing that's always useful in a cornerback: speed (he has an alleged 40 time of 4.34 and is also a promising track athlete (a career he intends to pursue during the offseason at Iowa).  And you can never have enough speed (although you can, in fact, have enough Sandra Bullock).
2011 Outlook: He may not be able to crack the two-deeps unless he picks up the ins and outs of the cornerback position quickly, but with his speed and explosiveness he seems like a good bet to feature on special teams, either as a return man or in coverage units.
Fun Fact: Has a pet macaw named Ignatius.

* Once again, we failed to recruit any centaurs.  Dammit.

Star-divide

MARCUS COLLINS (6'0", 215)
Linebacker
Monsignor Bonner (Yeadon, PA)
2* Rivals, 2* Scout, UN ESPN (45)
It's not every day that you get to poach a recruit from Stony Brook.  Take that, Seawolves!  (That mascot doesn't even make sense: wolves can't live in water.  Unless they developed gills and OH SHIT THEY'RE SOME SORT OF SUPER-PREDATOR IF THEY EVOLVE WINGS WE'RE TOTALLY FUCKED.)  Collins also had an offer from Army and, indeed, was headed to the Black Knights until Iowa swooped in with an eleventh-hour offer to head to Iowa City.  Consequently, we don't really know much about him.  He's not very big (he's more safety-sized, in fact), but he has a fake 40 time in the 4.4-4.5 range so he brings some much-needed speed to the position.  In a Rivals interview, Spears said the coaches were looking at him for outside linebacker, which could prove handy in defending those pesky spread teams and their multiple wide receivers.  If we're going to continue to roll out linebackers to defend those guys, we might as well send out some 'backers with speed.
2011 Outlook: Linebacker recruits are prime special teams candidates, but it's hard to see him working his way into the two-deeps until he bulks up a little -- he's just asking to get trucked by a Big Ten running back at his current size.
Fun Fact: Takes a two-week family trip every summer to partake in some good old fashioned bear baiting.

COLE FISHER (6'2", 195)
Safety / Linebacker / Hybrid Safetybacker-Type Thing
Millard North (Omaha, NE)
3* Rivals, 3* Scout, 2* ESPN (74)
Like Collins, Fisher appears to be a man without a position just yet.  He played free safety in high school and he's listed as a defensive back on the Hawkeye Sports breakdown, but he was slated to be an outside linebacker when he verballed last summer and was apparently even told he was the No.1 linebacker on Iowa's 2011 recruiting board.  Size-wise, he seems a little slight to be a linebacker just yet.  Still, with that build and fake 40 time (4.6), linebacker is probably in his future once he grows into the position.  He chose Iowa over an offer from Kansas and interest from Nebraska and Stanford; the decision to turn his back on Nebraska was a little interesting given his family ties there.  His father was a walk-on there in the '80s and his brother is there now, meaning you can look forward to a few "Farmageddon: this time it's personal" fluff stories when the Iowa-Nebraska games roll around over the next few years.  Then again, it's not much of a choice if one school is offering you a full-ride scholarship and the other isn't (yet).  He also hails from Millard North, the same Omaha school that sent Seth Olsen, Jeff Tarpinian and, um, Adam Shada to Iowa. 
2011 Outlook: He seems like a prime candidate to redshirt.
Fun Fact: As a teenager, he had a part-time job as a camel wrangler in Omaha's secret underground camel racing scene.

NICO LAW (6'1", 180)
Safety
Bishop McNamara (Clinton, MD)
3* Rivals, 4* Scout, 3* ESPN (77)
Ah, Nico Law.  He's barely been a Hawkeye (officially) for 24 hours and he's rapidly becoming a fan-favorite (or at least a BHGP favorite).  Having a catchy name certainly helps, as does his efforts as a recruiter for Iowa (we owe Nico some thanks for his efforts to convince two other Marylanders, Lomax and Cooper, to sign with Iowa).  And being a tremendously productive player doesn't hurt -- he had 106 tackles (31 tackles for loss), plus four interceptions while splitting time between corner and safety.  Oh, and he had three touchdowns as a receiver -- dude's a playmaker.  All that is nice, but there's no doubt that a key source for all the Nico love is his outreach to Iowa fans via his Twitter account and, of course, his radio show.  Oh, his radio show.  It was equal parts hilarious, awkward, surreal, endearing, and uncomfortable -- but it was pretty damn captivating (and you can get some sense of it by checking out the thread we had going during the show last night).  For those of us still nursing a DJK-shaped hole in our Hawkeye fandom, Nico seems to fill it pretty damn well.  In related news, he's also the odds-on favorite to land himself in Ferentz's doghouse by the end of August.  That said, if Law can stay in KF's good graces and pick up the defensive schemes quickly, it's not outrageous to think that he could be in the mix at one of the safety spots.  The depth chart there is wide open with the departures of Greenwood and Sash.
2011 Outlook: As noted, he could be in the mix at either FS or SS and he's another guy who figures to see early playing time on special teams.
Fun Fact: Thinks it's fucking criminal that David Fincher got an Oscar nomination for The Social Network but not Zodiac.

JORDAN LOMAX (5'10", 185)
Cornerback
DeMatha (Upper Marlboro, MD)
3* Rivals, 3* Scout, 3* ESPN (78)
The second of Iowa's pair of DeMatha prospects (and the third in the last two years, after Marcus Coker's arrival a year ago), Lomax was another recruit who made a late decision to be a Hawkeye.  Lomax had verballed to Virginia many (many) months ago, but got cold feet as signing day approached and bolted in December.   A month's worth of black-and-gold sweet talk from his friend and fellow Marylander Nico Law paid off with Lomax deciding to verbal to Iowa on Monday.  If you go by the recruiting services, it's unclear where Lomax projects in college -- Rivals lists him as an athlete, Scout has him as a safety, and ESPN tabs him a cornerback -- but based on various comments and his listing on Hawkeye Sports, cornerback is in his future.  He's a touch smaller than Campbell, but like him he's got very good speed (fake 40 time in the 4.40 range).  Iowa's prioritized speed in its secondary recruits over the last few years, which is very welcome.  Like Campbell, Lomax could work his way into the two-deeps at corner (possibly as a nickel back), but seems most likely to make an early impact on special teams. 
2011 Outlook: Special teams coverage units seems likely, with the possibility for more if he's a quick study.
Fun Fact: His favorite dinosaur is Ankylosaurus and he thinks having a tail would be pretty badass.

MELVIN SPEARS (6'2", 224)
Linebacker
Allen (Allen, TX)
3* Rivals, 3* Scout, 3* ESPN (79)
We like Spears a lot, mostly because "Spears" is an awesome name for a linebacker (although spearing is frowned upon by the refs, so always remember proper tackling technique, young Melvin) and his first name allows us to make all sorts of references to stoner rock and sludge metal.  So that's a big fat win right there.  Unlike some of the other linebacker-types in this class, Melvin's no tweener.  He looks like a linebacker (big and terror-inducing), smells like a linebacker (kind of earthy aroma with a hint of dried blood), and quacks like a linebacker (don't ask)... so he's probably a linebacker.  More specifically, he's an inside linebacker: he's big, thick, and ideally suited to stuffing the run.  In other words, a quintessential Big Ten linebacker.  There could be a slight problem in that he seems to fighting for the same spot as Quinton Alston and James Morris, so we hope this isn't Jacody Coleman Part Deux, but that's a problem for down the road.  Right now, Spears looks like a big, mean linebacker who loves to hit fools -- and that'll do. 
2011 Outlook: Special teams coverage units seem like an ideal place for Spears to get his feet wet.
Fun Fact: Thinks Angel Dust is a much better album than The Real Thing.

JOHNNY LOWDERMILK (6'2", 190)
Linebacker / Safety / Bandito
Carrolton (Kensington, OH)
2* Rivals, 2* Scout, 1* ESPN (67)
Lowdermilk  (who, frankly, bears an uncanny resemblance to Brandon Wegher with bleached hair) hasn't been officially added to the Hawkeye Sports recruit listing yet, but all indications are that the hang-up in his commitment has everything to do with weather and technology issues and nothing to do with any wavering on his part.  Like Collins, Lowdermilk emerged, like the proverbial alpaca, out of fucking nowhere.  Lowdermilk's father was an Ohio State legacy who played in the NFL for a half-dozen(ish) years.  So why isn't he a Buckeye-to-be today?  Well, mostly because they didn't offer him a scholarship.  Considering that Iowa was the only high-major school to offer him (his other choices were Kent State, Miami (OH), Air Force, Youngstown State, and Fordham), it probably didn't take much arm-twisting to get him to say "yes" to playing here, although it didn't hurt that his dad thought Ferentz was the bees' knees after briefly getting to know him in the NFL.  Like half the supposed linebacker recruits in this class, Lowdermilk is a total tweener who might play either LB or S in college, depending on need and how his body responds to weight-training.  He has OK measurements and decent speed (fake 40 time of 4.6), but mostly seems to get accolades for being "a football player."  He's definitely a project, but it wouldn't be a huge surprise if he became the next unheralded guy to turn into a much better player than his recruiting clippings would suggest.
2011 Outlook: For now, though, a redshirt seems like a lock.
Fun Fact: Lowdermilk was a nationally-renowned soapbox derby racer as a child.

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Why do we always overlook our needs at Centaur?

I think heads need to roll for this oversight!

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 3, 2011 4:56 PM CST reply actions  

I thought Lowdermilk was a Centaur.

It’s a Centaur name, anyway.

"There are no Pan Asian supermarkets down in hell, so you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts." - The Mountain Goats

by cafreema on Feb 3, 2011 5:00 PM CST up reply actions  

Every year.

and then what happens?
I’m convinced that we need to fill that centaur position to fight against AIRBHG

It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?

by chitownhawkeye on Feb 3, 2011 5:05 PM CST up reply actions  

One pagan deity versus another

It’s Clash of the Titans: Iowa City

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 3, 2011 7:03 PM CST up reply actions  

Our lack of commitment to the Centaur position

Could eventually lead to KF’s downfall. We can do without RB’s, as we’ve seen, but centaurs are just so damn hard to come by.

"There are few things graven in stone, except that you have to squat or you're a pussy." -Mark Rippetoe

by Brock8144 on Feb 3, 2011 5:13 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Last year we lost one Centaur to Boise State...

…and the other couldn’t make academics. Took a job with Purina, I think.

by Roosevelt on Feb 3, 2011 5:17 PM CST up reply actions  

We need to find out which coach is responsible for centaur recruiting and fire him.

He’s doing a terrible job. We haven’t had a decent centaur since that one Hayden found behind an old stable in west Texas and used as a kicker for a year in the late 80s. It was a real shame when he got tackled from behind on an extra point and broke his leg. It was tough to see them take him out behind Kinnick and shoot him.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Feb 3, 2011 5:24 PM CST up reply actions   1 recs

But at least he was paid rightful tribute to

and was used as glue for the helmet decals.

Cyclone Fanatic Poster #1: "The key to being competitive in the Big 12 is to win bowl games."
Cyclone Fanatic Poster #2's reply: "Or the key to being competitive in the Big 12 is to be competitive in the Big 12"

by Pain in the Sash on Feb 3, 2011 5:29 PM CST up reply actions  

ANC

America needs centaurs

It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?

by chitownhawkeye on Feb 3, 2011 6:30 PM CST up reply actions  

Unfucking believable guys!

I’m about ready to start giving my internet patronage to Hawkeye Nation. I need a place on the internet with level-headed intelligent people and that clearly isn’t the case here. First, the coaches need to go because of this and then because of that and now because of their lack of recruiting fucking centaurs! You guys are fucking clowns. Why don’t you go talk about professional wrestling or something, dickheads!

Besides, if you fuckers think a guy named Biff Poggi has anything but centaurs for sons you’re even bigger assholes than I thought.

Fuckers!

by HawKCP on Feb 3, 2011 6:38 PM CST up reply actions  

/Jon Hartlieb'd?

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 3, 2011 6:40 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm I the only one

thinking Jon Hartlieb might be a dark horse in the coming Marchifornication? There are a lot of strong contenders, but there is something about this scrappy upstart the has me looking to put some money behind him in Vegas

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 3, 2011 7:05 PM CST up reply actions  

We specialize in disappointment.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Feb 3, 2011 8:15 PM CST up reply actions  

And deliver!!!

"GO HAWKS!" - only cure for Hawkeye Envy

by BentNotBroken on Feb 3, 2011 10:20 PM CST up reply actions  

It was hilarious and disturbing at the same time

But you could actually see the moment where he went over the edge and went ape-shit on this site.

That said, my money is still on the All Stanzi thread for Marchifornication.

by brock_tune on Feb 3, 2011 9:16 PM CST up reply actions  

I started to chuckle

when he put Hawkeye Nation and level-headed intelligent people in the same thought. Fucking hilarious and I might even rec it…

by Grixxly on Feb 4, 2011 11:31 AM CST up reply actions  

Yeah, we always put the cart before the horse and then totally miss our chance to-

nevermind.  
Is that racist? Feels racist.


"....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week." ~ Bill Hicks

by Bucketochicken on Feb 3, 2011 6:10 PM CST up reply actions  

Wait -

Or would it be speciesist?
 
I’m uncomfortable.


"....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week." ~ Bill Hicks

by Bucketochicken on Feb 3, 2011 6:11 PM CST up reply actions  

/Singer'd

In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).

Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.

by tyger1147 on Feb 3, 2011 10:21 PM CST up reply actions  

If Alston or Spears pick things up quickly I think Morris could probably slide over to WLB

I think that’s where he was initially projected last year prior to the linebacker apocalypse.

by NorseHawk on Feb 3, 2011 5:00 PM CST reply actions  

Is there anywhere a replay of this?

In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).

Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.

by tyger1147 on Feb 3, 2011 10:22 PM CST up reply actions  

Yes,

This is hour 1. Listen for me giving a BHGP shout-out. And this is hour 2. I ask what team they want to play.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Feb 3, 2011 10:28 PM CST up reply actions  

Gracias, mi amiga.

In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).

Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.

by tyger1147 on Feb 3, 2011 10:30 PM CST up reply actions  

Wow, I see that. He even posted his favorite 5 quotes from that thread.

Kudos to each of you 5. I laughed my ass off at each of those quotes.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Feb 3, 2011 11:19 PM CST up reply actions  

Alston has scary vision

That’s what I picked up from the vid above.

Cyclone Fanatic Poster #1: "The key to being competitive in the Big 12 is to win bowl games."
Cyclone Fanatic Poster #2's reply: "Or the key to being competitive in the Big 12 is to be competitive in the Big 12"

by Pain in the Sash on Feb 3, 2011 5:04 PM CST reply actions  

I think Alston will probably make the 2 deep for MLB next season

He’s got that mentality and size to make himself known there

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 3, 2011 5:15 PM CST up reply actions  

Swayze went to Auburn because they paid him.

That’s why we can’t land a top tier Centaur.

by 9isEnough on Feb 3, 2011 5:20 PM CST reply actions  

You PhotoShopped my tattoo?

You fucker!


"....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week." ~ Bill Hicks

by Bucketochicken on Feb 3, 2011 6:11 PM CST up reply actions  

God...

i can never get over how hideous that is. I’ve seen better looking dog poop.

Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.

by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Feb 3, 2011 8:52 PM CST up reply actions  

my brother goes to stony brook

so im glad i get to rub it in his face that iowa stole a recruit from him. SUCK IT SEAWOLVES

by justsomehawkeyefan on Feb 3, 2011 5:48 PM CST reply actions  

the only fact I know about a recruit that wasn't covered above

Torrey Campbell is the nephew of Colts RB Javarris James, who is the cousin of Edgerrin James.

Choke/Clutch is the fetishization of the small sample size.

"But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." -Carl Sagan

by shake n bake on Feb 3, 2011 5:56 PM CST reply actions  

I probably would have remembered to include that if I hadn't been writing it on about five hours of sleep.

Bah. It is an interesting little factoid. Although I suspect it’s also one we’ll hear over and over from TV announcers when/if Campbell becomes a starter… that’s the sort of thing they love to hone in on.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Feb 3, 2011 8:17 PM CST up reply actions  

Why do you think it remains underworld?

It’s like Fight Club, the first rule of the underworld camel racing circuit is that you don’t talk about it.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 4, 2011 8:57 AM CST up reply actions  

Why, thank you, good lady.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Feb 3, 2011 6:47 PM CST up reply actions  

Am I too late to post this?

You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Feb 4, 2011 11:24 AM CST up reply actions  

That sir

is just creepy… I don’t even know what to think right now…
Cool?
Disturbing?
Awesome double sword?
Probably all of the above.

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 4, 2011 11:53 AM CST up reply actions  

You think I would hit on Centaur Ferentz?!

Come on now, give me some credit.
…hey, you think you can make one of Stanzi? Just to, you know, see how it looks.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Feb 4, 2011 1:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Nicely done

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Feb 4, 2011 1:08 PM CST up reply actions  

Everyone knows Bane kicks Firenze's ass

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 3, 2011 6:39 PM CST up reply actions   1 recs

But his eligibility is up.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Feb 3, 2011 6:50 PM CST up reply actions  

If you're not a Harry Potter fan then don't worry about it

Move along, nothing to see here

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 4, 2011 9:50 AM CST up reply actions  

I'm proud of the fact that I have never read nor watched a single Harry Potter installment

I’m almost as proud of that as I am of the fact that I have never seen more than 10 seconds of an episode of American Idol, ever.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 4, 2011 11:13 AM CST up reply actions  

Just like I'm proud of the fact I've never seen Titantic

To each their own

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 4, 2011 11:53 AM CST up reply actions  

I understand not wanting to watch some things

I’m with the both of you on all things mentioned in that area. But it’s the pride of not being involved that I find disturbing. Why hate on others for their interests? It’s childish and bullying.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Feb 4, 2011 11:56 AM CST up reply actions  

Pride is the wrong word for me

but even if it was pride… bullying? I’ve never tried to stop anyone from watching it… Don’t quite get that one

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 4, 2011 11:58 AM CST up reply actions  

Can't just agree you were wrong?

I feel like I’m having a conversation with my wife. She’s never wrong without qualifiers.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Feb 4, 2011 12:25 PM CST up reply actions  

Yes, I used the wrong word

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 4, 2011 12:29 PM CST up reply actions  

Just realized how condescending my previous post could look

sorry about that, and thanks for being a good sport.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Feb 4, 2011 12:31 PM CST up reply actions  

I'll let you two hash this one out

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 4, 2011 1:52 PM CST up reply actions  

And I used the word bullying

because you’re publicly declaring that those are invalid forms of entertainment, explicitly implying that others who like them are wrong or inferior in their taste.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Feb 4, 2011 12:28 PM CST up reply actions  

How did I ever saw that they're "invalid forms of entertainment"?

I don’t like a lot of forms of entertainment but do I think that anyone who does is wrong? No… I personally love the Harry Potter books and movies but I don’t think that HoyaGoon was saying that I am “wrong” for liking it, just like I don’t think that anyone is “wrong” for liking Titantic. If anything, I’m “wrong” for not liking it because so many other people do. I just think you’re being overly sensitive to comments that were thought and typed out in 5 seconds.

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 4, 2011 12:33 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm going to drop the subject

because I don’t like arguing on the internet. Much better done over a beer with personal interaction. Suffice it to say I may have read more into your words than you intended, if so I apologize. Like I’ve said elsewhere here, the hate on others’ interests just irks me and once in a while I get stupid and say something about it.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Feb 4, 2011 12:43 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm fine with dropping it because it was a throw away comment

But I’m honestly baffled how you got “bullying” from my comment when I said “To each their own” – to me, implying that everyone has different tastes.I’ve been trying to see it from your view for the past 10 minutes and I can’t. I’ve been called a lot of things in my life but that was the first time anyone ever called me a bully and, quite frankly, it bothered me as someone who had to deal with actual bullies growing up and understand the seriousness of that term.

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 4, 2011 12:49 PM CST up reply actions  

I don't want in on this conversation

However, a lot of people deem “To each his own” as dismissive and insulting. To me, I’d have to hear the inflection in someone’s voice to come to that conclusion. /shrug

by Grixxly on Feb 4, 2011 12:51 PM CST up reply actions  

Hence my want for direct convo over a beer

The written word can indeed be misconstrued. I read it as Grixxly indicated.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Feb 4, 2011 12:52 PM CST up reply actions  

I can understand dismissive, which in turn is insulting

coming from what I wrote (even though that was not at all how it was intended, as I meant it to say “everyone has their own tastes”). I guess the term “bully” to me is more than simply being dismissive. It implies aggression in the insult. To me, it is the difference between “to each their own” (in the dismissive and insulting context) vs “if you like ____ you are a ____ and deserve to have (insert some terrible action here)”. I know that inflection is a very important part of communication and I’m sure it would’ve come across as I intended in person. I think it just got under my skin due to some stories I read about cyber bullying that resulted in some very serious consequences. Leave off “bullying” from Cat’s original comment and I honestly have zero issue with it, as what I said came across as childish instead of the “meh, whatever” I was going for

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 4, 2011 1:24 PM CST up reply actions  

Though, to be fair

if someone were to say, “I really like the Iowa State football team”, the only proper response woud be to say “If you like the Clones you are an inbred mongoloid and deserve to die in a fire.”

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 4, 2011 1:59 PM CST up reply actions   1 recs

Well now that just goes without saying

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 4, 2011 2:00 PM CST up reply actions  

So

Insult them by speaking above their comprehension abilities?

by Grixxly on Feb 4, 2011 2:01 PM CST up reply actions  

Isn't that going to be the case, regardless?

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 4, 2011 2:03 PM CST up reply actions  

My god you guys

I came back in here to see if there were any more good photoshops. The comments counter said there were a bunch of comments I hadn’t seen yet. I come in here and it’s just the bullshit back-and-forth.
It’s the internet and we’re all annonymous posters. Etiquette is not a compelling read.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Feb 8, 2011 9:44 AM CST up reply actions  

Interesting

Because I don’t think I’ve ever used “to each his own” in any manner other than to express (1) my lack of care/concern about (2) someone else’s completely subjective taste. In other words, I use it interchangably with the idiom “no skin off my back” to denote something that in no way impacts me and therefore I have no opinion/judgment on whatsover.

I have no doubt that your experience with “to each their own” is exactly as you describe. Just interesting what different people perceive the phrase to mean.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 4, 2011 1:56 PM CST up reply actions  

No harm in making fun of me there

It’s not exactly a crusade of mine, but I do tire of people using put-downs as humor. Once in a while I get the urge to stupidly say something on the topic, most of the time it just treat it like a duck letting water roll off its back.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Feb 4, 2011 12:30 PM CST up reply actions  

Thank you for taking that as it was intended.

I agree we could all be more positive (if nothing else it’d help my stress level). However, know this about me… my best friends and I are like brothers and have always made fun of (and laughed at) each other constantly. (Me making nagative comments isn’t always me being negative. Making fun of stuff can also be a fun and entertaining way to pass the time.)

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Feb 4, 2011 1:42 PM CST up reply actions  

I've always liked your comments

and mentioned as such before. You bring sanity by way of insanity like nobody else. I agree that making fun of things can be a valid form of entertainment, I just dislike the way it heads sometimes. At a certain point it becomes personally insulting and just plain mean. Don’t know if I can exactly describe it, it might be like that terrible definition of obscenity that is always thrown around.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Feb 4, 2011 1:59 PM CST up reply actions  

Don't be so sensitive

I don’t know how you could take it personally when I say that your comments make me hope that you are viciously sodomized by a rabid grizzly bear. So touchy.

I keed, I keed

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 4, 2011 2:03 PM CST up reply actions  

I got to the sorting hat in the first movie, then said "fuck this."

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Feb 4, 2011 11:59 AM CST up reply actions  

High five Melvin!

Your taste in Faith No More albums is beyond reproach. Or is it above reproach? Does anyone ever just reproach? Why can’t I just say I proach his taste in FNM records? Fuck this, I’m having another Maker’s Mark.
 
I’m going to teach children soon!


"....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week." ~ Bill Hicks

by Bucketochicken on Feb 3, 2011 6:09 PM CST reply actions   1 recs

As long as you teach a select few

about the virtues of Iommi, Devy and Electric Wizard, I think you’re all good.

On a related hessian note; if you haven’t already checked out Mitochondrion’s Parasignosis, I suggest doing so immediately. I know we’ve talked about the flimsiness of black metal before, but this qualifies as a) intriguing, b) original, c) and mind numbingly heavy.

Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.

by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Feb 3, 2011 8:57 PM CST up reply actions  

Hmmmm...

I’ve read about it; I’ll have to give it a listen.


"....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all week." ~ Bill Hicks

by Bucketochicken on Feb 3, 2011 10:35 PM CST up reply actions  

opinion

you have the crackhawk for an avatar (I can’t be the first to have brought it up)

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Feb 3, 2011 11:00 PM CST up reply actions  

Not every fucking white guy looks alike you dickheads!

Jesus, first Lowdermilk looks like Stanzi, then Wegher, next it’ll be Slim Shady, when will the racism on this website end. Next you’re going to tell me that he’s “deceptively athletic”, lives in a quiet suburban housing division and sucks at dancing.

Fuckers!

by HawKCP on Feb 3, 2011 6:51 PM CST reply actions  

He's a lunchpail kind of guy

And has strong fundamentals.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 3, 2011 7:08 PM CST up reply actions  

His offensive strategy

is to make a series of treaties with the defense and then subsequently breaking those treaties resulting in large gains of yardage

by Lycurgus on Feb 3, 2011 7:11 PM CST up reply actions   1 recs

I'll take

Fifteen yards and a cloud of treaties

by encopresis on Feb 3, 2011 8:26 PM CST up reply actions  

Wow. The history buff in me is laughing (sickly).

And the Cherokee and Cheyenne in me is outraged at the white man drawing the boundary lines of the football field with no consideration to the natural world around it.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Feb 3, 2011 11:09 PM CST up reply actions  

Next July

Barta and Ferenz will make a joint announcement. Iowa’s quest for the National Championship will heretofore be referred to as “Manifest Destiny”. Also, a new Iowa Athletic department policy (and the ultimate act of big brothership) states that if any non-Iowa team beats an Iowa college team (D1-D111 and NAIA) in any sport, the Iowa wrestling team will be shipped down to the offending school and wreak unholy havok. That policy will be called “The Brands Doctrine”.

In other news, Iowa deposed the ISU football coach Paul Rhodes and replaced him with Ken O’Keefe.

by Lycurgus on Feb 4, 2011 8:15 AM CST up reply actions  

Scrappy

Can’t forget scrappy

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 3, 2011 7:11 PM CST up reply actions  

And plays the game

the “right” way

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 3, 2011 7:41 PM CST up reply actions  

If things don't work out in IC

Cardinals will sign him as a middle infielder.

by GaryDolphinSafeTuna on Feb 3, 2011 10:25 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Centaurs
  • Once again, we failed to recruit any centaurs. Dammit.

Which SUCKS because OMHR picked up a 4* Centaur this year!

by KinnickNorthHawk on Feb 3, 2011 7:16 PM CST reply actions   1 recs

Yep, we're fucked.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Feb 3, 2011 8:13 PM CST up reply actions  

Why is the centaur in a bathrooom?

Centaurs can’t use human toilets, their equipment is in the back!

Silly centaur.

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Feb 4, 2011 8:33 AM CST up reply actions  

A little off subject but a handy tip

As a former Walk-On for the Cyclones under Chizik (Unfortunately) I noticed first hand you want to consider literacy instead of full athletic talent. 70 Percent of the guys Chizik recruited were not understandable in simple English which is our first language in this country. You try to recruit too much out of the dirty south, it’ll bite you in the ass…especially if your a lower tier college in a cornfield with a 80/20 dudes outnumber girls (isu).

by Informer_WalkOn on Feb 3, 2011 7:24 PM CST reply actions  

Kinda like Troy Davis?

That dude had an amazing grip on the English language. The way he spoke was like a Gucci Mane/Sylvester Stallone hybrid.

by Hank Thrasher on Feb 3, 2011 8:55 PM CST up reply actions  

A Textbook Example

Brings back memories when Davis was their whole team.What ever happened to thay guy? Other than a short stint with the Saints.

by Informer_WalkOn on Feb 3, 2011 10:29 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

haha, you talked shit about people speaking english and then you used your instead of you're

ell oh ell

In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).

Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.

by tyger1147 on Feb 3, 2011 10:28 PM CST up reply actions  

Just an observation
And you can never have enough speed (although you can, in fact, have enough Sandra Bullock).

Once I have Sandra Bullock I will let you know if you can have too much.

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning

by The Bacon Explosion on Feb 3, 2011 7:32 PM CST reply actions  

I didn't even notice that part

How dare you, Ross. Sandra Bullock is a goddamned national treasure.

by NorseHawk on Feb 4, 2011 12:37 PM CST up reply actions  

So, no centaurs - again

Why don’t we go after minotaurs? Perfect for DT!

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Feb 3, 2011 10:45 PM CST reply actions  

Minotaurs like that paper, son.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Feb 4, 2011 9:13 AM CST up reply actions  

Don't you know

Minotaurs will only play for the MAZE and blue. Plus, I heard Theseus is still considering an Iowa offer, so I am not sure we need the Minotaur.

by Lycurgus on Feb 4, 2011 10:00 AM CST up reply actions  

The thing I love the most about this recruiting class...

…is that the ones who have spoken up (on Twitter, FB, their own radio shows, whatever) are SO FUCKING EXCITED TO BE A HAWKEYE. They sound like they cannot wait to get started here in Iowa. Their enthusiasm and passion makes me smile.

Check out Nico Law’s new avatar on Twitter – (@DaNicoLaw) – he’s wearing a Hawkeye cap, a black jacket and gold tie and he looks ecstatic. Love it.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Feb 3, 2011 10:48 PM CST reply actions  

It's the fez on the camel in the orange car that makes that pic.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Feb 4, 2011 9:14 AM CST up reply actions  

In the Name of the King

I’d never heard of this movie before, but somehow I just knew from the title that Uwe Boll was involved.

That man should be barred from making any sort of media.

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Feb 4, 2011 8:12 AM CST reply actions  

And holy shit

Uwe Boll has made a movie called “Auschwitz”

I feel sick

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Feb 4, 2011 8:36 AM CST up reply actions  

It's a Vin Diesel

supporting role and Wilmer Valderrama cameo away from being the worst thing ever committed to film.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Feb 4, 2011 2:07 PM CST up reply actions  

So many actors badly needed to pay their mortgages that month, apparently.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Feb 4, 2011 3:27 PM CST up reply actions  

No brainer: cue up the INT return highlights, with this Judas Priest background track:

There I was completely wasting, out of work and down
all inside it’s so frustrating as I drift from town to town
feel as though nobody cares if I live or die
so I might as well begin to put some action in my life

Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law

So much for the golden future, I can’t even start
I’ve had every promise broken, there’s anger in my heart
you don’t know what it’s like, you don’t have a clue
if you did you’d find yourselves doing the same thing too

Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law
Breaking the law, breaking the law

by RazorHawk on Feb 4, 2011 9:06 AM CST reply actions  

Here’s an article about a walk-on OLB from Urbandale.
Obviously going to redshirt this year. But, given Iowa’s history with walk-ons, might as well include him too.

by DJK's bongwater on Feb 4, 2011 10:16 AM CST reply actions  

Campbell has a pet macaw named Ignatius?

+1 for the Confederacy of Dunces ref, good sir.

He embiggened that role with his cromulent performance.

by lo-hi-hawkeye on Feb 4, 2011 11:11 AM CST via mobile reply actions  

Nico

Just tweeted that the coaches said he could probably keep his radio show!!!

by Grixxly on Feb 4, 2011 1:50 PM CST reply actions  

No. Way.

That is the best news I’ve heard all day!

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Feb 4, 2011 2:01 PM CST up reply actions  

This.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Feb 4, 2011 3:26 PM CST up reply actions  

As long as he only discusses ...

Abortion, homosexuality, drug use, politics, religion and his sexual exploits.

Those topics only.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Feb 4, 2011 4:36 PM CST up reply actions  

So far as I understand, they were in the queue.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Feb 4, 2011 5:26 PM CST up reply actions  

He told us he can keep the show

on the twitter feed that’s going away?
I just can’t believe that.

It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?

by chitownhawkeye on Feb 4, 2011 6:19 PM CST up reply actions  

"Caller 867-5309. Waz good?'

“S’Up? My name is Cyrus, and I have a persistent itch in my backside. Ungh.”

Nico: “You need to tell Coach Chizik to get up offen your behind. Come out to Iowa City, set a good example with Cooper Trooper an me, and stay properly hydrated.”

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Feb 4, 2011 6:04 PM CST reply actions  

YESSSS

Nice Tommy Tutone reference.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Feb 4, 2011 7:56 PM CST up reply actions  

Is that legal?

I mean, I guess it is, but it sounds potentially shady.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Feb 4, 2011 8:17 PM CST up reply actions  

I think the NCAA has rules

that allow it, if the recruit signed because of a coach.

by Grixxly on Feb 4, 2011 8:17 PM CST up reply actions  

Not at all.

It explicitly states in the Letter of Intent that you must make your decision based on the school, not on the coaches and such. MD can let him out of the commitment, but he can’t change until after his first year.

In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).

Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.

by tyger1147 on Feb 4, 2011 9:14 PM CST up reply actions  

Most coaches will let a player out of their commitment though

Who really wants to force a player to play that doesn’t want to be there?

by DJK's bongwater on Feb 5, 2011 2:12 AM CST up reply actions  

JoePa?

Different situation than a LOI, but still
(In all fairness, I don’t really think it’s a dick move. I doubt JoePa promised Bolden he would start, but that he could compete for the job. So he’s holding him to that.)

It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?

by chitownhawkeye on Feb 5, 2011 7:59 AM CST up reply actions  

After seeing Hendy’s twitter, I have serious doubts about his character.
Scroll to the 2nd page for some immature shit. The last thing we need is another Satterfield/Everson scandal…

by DJK's bongwater on Feb 5, 2011 2:21 AM CST up reply actions  

I didn't see anything bad there, really.

Especially nothing that warrants comparisons to Sat/Ever.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Feb 8, 2011 9:55 AM CST up reply actions  

Melvin "Bud" Spears

this young man hails from my current “Hometown” of Allen Texas so I have watched him play for a very formidable high school football team for the past 4 years. Texas football is like no other so and the competition we play week in and week out is fierce. Allen plays in one of the toughest districts in the Nation so I think Bud (that’s his nickname) will be up for some serious Big Ten Football! Also begin praying to the Iowa Running Back Gods right now as there is a FABULOUS running back by the name of Jonathan Williams that SCREAMS “make me a Hawkeye” every time he touches the ball. In fact I think the Hawkeye recruiting staff ought to visit Allen Texas every fall to check out the talent.

by techhawkeye on Feb 12, 2011 8:50 AM CST reply actions  

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