Marcus Coker Suspended For Insight Bowl
by RossWB on Dec 20, 2011 4:22 PM CST
in Iowa Hawkeyes Football
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PrintThis is not a joke. For the second straight year, Iowa's starting tailback for the bulk of the regular season will miss the Insight Bowl*. From UI Sports Information:
IOWA CITY, IOWA – - University of Iowa running back Marcus Coker has been suspended from participation in the 2011 Insight Bowl for disciplinary reasons.
The issue involves University of Iowa policies and has resulted in Coker being in violation of the UI Student-Athlete Code of Conduct.
The sophomore from Beltsville, Md., will not travel with the team to Tempe, site of Iowa’s Dec. 30 game against Oklahoma.
You have got to be fucking kidding me. Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God, you are an unbelievable bastard.
With Mika'il McCall's suspension also (by all accounts) remaining in effect for the Insight Bowl, that leaves the top of the depth chart wide open at running back. Jordan Canzeri? DeAndre Johnson? Jason White? Damon Bullock? Hope you're ready for your close-up, guys. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll just be outside, slamming my head into a car door.
* God willing, this episode has a better ending than Adam Robinson's issues last December, but let's just say we're not going to hold our breath, given Iowa's hilariously awful history with running backs. Goddammit.
UPDATE: Marc Morehouse provided a little more information about the suspension, including a quote from athletic director Gary Barta:
This action would have to be routed through Iowa athletics director Gary Barta, who spoke briefly on the subject during the Iowa women’s basketball game Tuesday night.
“I can’t say anything beyond what was in the release,” Barta said. Barta said he talked about the situation with Ferentz, as they would with anything of this nature.He was asked if this was a team/coach decision or department decision, “It was a department decision. It was a violation of our Student Code of Conduct.”
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Comments
McCall
Thank God he flipped to bhgp
by CoachGreen1 on Dec 20, 2011 4:25 PM CST via iPhone app reply actions
The running back situation at Iowa is a fucking joke
That is all.
Comedy is where the mind goes to tickle itself.
Wonderful...
Not sure what to expect from our RB core now. Perhaps whomever fills in will break Marcus’ bowl record from last year??
"You want an honest answer? I have no idea."
-Kirk Ferentz
by KF Bubblegum on Dec 20, 2011 4:26 PM CST via mobile reply actions
I've heard Canzeri has been getting first team reps, actually.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Really?
I don’t see him doing well against OU’s defense
by hithisisryan on Dec 20, 2011 4:34 PM CST up reply actions
/shrug
Every single option we have right now is basically this:
Canzeri at least can scoot, I guess.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Let's see if he's more Freddie Russel or Damian Sims.
Next man in, I guess. That bowl is not going to be fun to watch.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:39 PM CST up reply actions
...
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 7:54 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
...
/sorryforthebig
//iwilllearnsomeday
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 7:54 PM CST up reply actions
So, offspring of the Riddler?
Twitterz: @EnergizerHawk
by EnergizerHawk on Dec 20, 2011 7:37 PM CST up reply actions
The Ridder's costume is weird
See how weird it is?!?!
by iowaengineer on Dec 21, 2011 1:25 AM CST up reply actions
Meh.
I think I’d like to wear the Ritter’s costume.
See?
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 21, 2011 6:25 PM CST up reply actions
A.J. Derby
Running Back.
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Dec 20, 2011 4:28 PM CST reply actions 5 recs
A.J. Derby change positions?
That’s unpossible.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Naw.
AJ Derby is solidly a linebacker now.
But that James Morris, he played RB in high school.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 9:33 PM CST up reply actions
FUCKING
FUCK
Anyone got some ’ludes I can take? This program is stressing me out.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
a combination of Canzeri and Johnson wouldnt be terrible
but its no Coker/McCall
"Your spelling and grammar errors belie a seriously skilled thought process"- therealCatnuts
by justsomehawkeyefan on Dec 20, 2011 4:30 PM CST reply actions
WHAT. THE. FUCK
Interesting that they specifically said he violated student athlete code of conduct instead of “violation of team rules”. So, it’s probably not drugs or some other type of illegal situation. I would make a guess, but it’s only a guess.
And Marcus Coker would probably be the LAST player/starter I would suspect of ever violating some sort of code of conduct. He was a state GENTLEMAN OF THE YEAR for fuck sakes.
by Captain n Diet Coker on Dec 20, 2011 4:31 PM CST reply actions
Someone lock Jordan Canzeri and DeAndre Johnson
in a padded room and wrap them in bubble wrap.
TAYLOR MARTINEZ IS AIDS ON TWO FEET -@DanBeebe
What kind of physics major has discipline issues?
Dude got pissed off in the astronomy lab because people were messing up his shots of jupiter.
He flipped and murdered someone with a telescope?
TAYLOR MARTINEZ IS AIDS ON TWO FEET -@DanBeebe
by The Nihilist on Dec 20, 2011 4:33 PM CST up reply actions
He was caught abusing a-steroid
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
by Lycurgus on Dec 20, 2011 4:35 PM CST up reply actions 23 recs
Holy jeez that's terrible
and a rec
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:36 PM CST up reply actions
God dammit, Ly, you brilliant bastard.
"WELCOME TA EARFF!"
by Bucketochicken on Dec 20, 2011 5:10 PM CST up reply actions
I read your book!
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 9:36 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah. I was trying to "go Patton" there.
Although, in the film, did he call Rommel a “beautiful bastard”?
Either way, I support Patton references. Thanks for spotting it.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 10:12 PM CST up reply actions
I think it was "glorious bastard"
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
Then I used google
it was “magnificent bastard”
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
Yep.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJXKVOxqkWM
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 10:16 PM CST up reply actions
I was trying to remember without the Google.
Was debating youtube or firing up the Bluray to settle it.
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Dec 20, 2011 10:16 PM CST up reply actions
So
We’re on a 20 year cycle? I don’t love that thought. :(
The University of Iowa: the best 6 years of my life. My parents are very proud.
by HawkeyeGirleye on Dec 20, 2011 11:13 PM CST up reply actions
HOW?!
AIRBHG Already got one! Will that bastard EVER stop?
I can feel it....this is the week O'Keefe is gonna open up the playbook.
by MoMoney MoBrown on Dec 20, 2011 4:33 PM CST reply actions
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
no.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
by RossWB on Dec 20, 2011 4:34 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
AIRBHG has NEVER stopped at just one. Not since 2004.*
*Shonn Greene and 2008 excluded.
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Dec 20, 2011 4:34 PM CST up reply actions
He's bulimic.
Binge and purge (Wheger). Binge and purge (Robinson). Binge and purge (Hampton).
"I mean, are they going to poop their pants or are they going to get tough?" ~Tom Brands
Explains why Bullock won the leadership award?
No – it doesn’t, but at least that merit shows Ferentz has some trust in him…
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Dec 20, 2011 4:33 PM CST reply actions
We dont know what happens behind the scenes
Maybe Bullock was actually a leader in the locker room? he was going to go to Army before Iowa came calling after all.
"Your spelling and grammar errors belie a seriously skilled thought process"- therealCatnuts
by justsomehawkeyefan on Dec 20, 2011 4:34 PM CST up reply actions
WHAT THE FUCK...
kind of “rule” does a Physics and Astronomy major that has a damn good GPA break?
Let’s hope MasCasa and Hlas dig like fucking hell to find out what the fuck is going on.
by FlyingDutchman1 on Dec 20, 2011 4:35 PM CST reply actions
I was an engineering and math major with a very good GPA
I broke more rules than are even in that code of conduct. He’s 19. Hopefully he gets over being young and dumb like most of us do.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:37 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
What does his major have to do with rule breaking?
Are you assuming the only rule the team has is to remain academically eligible?
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 4:39 PM CST up reply actions
What I'm saying..
is that Coker up to today—has never put on the airs of the “typical dumb jock”. He’s always had a good head on his shoulders…had his shit straight so to speak.
Let’s think about this here. Schools out for the semester..so it can’t be for “cutting class” or “missing tutoring sessions”.
Coker hasn’t been arrested for anything—(to our knowledge)
The only thing that I can think of why Coker would be suspended is failing a piss test.
by FlyingDutchman1 on Dec 20, 2011 4:42 PM CST up reply actions
Physics/math majors can make the cleverest pranks
And some of them go overboard.
In this case, a prank probably would’ve shown up in a school paper, unless it got caught too early—which usually doesn’t happen, since physics/math majors are smarter than the administrators. Usually.
Either way, sucks—hard for even you guys to make good jokes out of this.
by Beavis Beefcake on Dec 20, 2011 4:44 PM CST up reply actions
He violated the Ferris Bueller clause of the student handbook?
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
When he said prank, I was thinking more along the lines of this:
I can ride my bike with no handlebars...
by hkobb7 on Dec 20, 2011 9:17 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
That would be supremely glorious!
Twitterz: @EnergizerHawk
by EnergizerHawk on Dec 21, 2011 12:24 PM CST up reply actions
Every time HEC posts something, it is followed within the hour by something new and occasionally horrendous
Poor HEC
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Dec 20, 2011 4:36 PM CST reply actions
IT'S ALL HIS FAULT
HE IS SO FIRED
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Sick of this
Perhaps my best years are gone... but I wouldn't want them back. Not with the fire in me now. No, I wouldn't want them back.
by jebushchrist on Dec 20, 2011 4:36 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
Indeed
"GO HAWKS!" - only cure for Hawkeye Envy
by BentNotBroken on Dec 20, 2011 4:39 PM CST up reply actions
For reals
Does any other school have running back attrition like Iowa? I don’t really follow other teams besides Texas, who have had their fair share of injuries and the like, but actually tend to have some depth.
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ANOTHER RUNNING BACK?!?!?
by George Washington Eagleclaw on Dec 20, 2011 4:37 PM CST reply actions
Oklahoma apparently does as well (at least this year)
8-man football is completely in play here.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:38 PM CST up reply actions
Ferentz is just doing this as a favor to Bob.
OU’s already lost a few RBs, so Ferentz thought it only fair.
there are no more men...
How quickly can next year’s recruits enroll
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Dec 20, 2011 4:39 PM CST up reply actions
They are there... Just really inexperienced
"GO HAWKS!" - only cure for Hawkeye Envy
by BentNotBroken on Dec 20, 2011 4:47 PM CST up reply actions
...
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 8:04 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
My neighbor's flag football team at this point.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Your neighbor must pay in pot
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:51 PM CST up reply actions
No, but he has some really cute daughters.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Wegher just calls those Future Baby Mamas
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:56 PM CST up reply actions
Do we want to allow him access to that many females all at once?
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 8:04 PM CST up reply actions
At least the backups got plenty of carries during the season
they should be ready to step in
Yeah I understand where you're coming from
BUT NOW IS NOT THE TIME
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 4:41 PM CST up reply actions
Well sure, 10:36 CST is.
But 4:41? it was really uncalled for.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 10:37 PM CST up reply actions
Guess we're going to see
whose backups are better. I don’t like where that would take us.
Fubar
By I am using the SB Nation Android app. So that’s a good thing. Yes?
Das Stochern gewinnt.
by Blackheartnopants on Dec 20, 2011 4:41 PM CST via Android app reply actions
can't we just let them booze and headbutt bus windows in peace?
Since we seem to have trouble with constant violations of team policy, how about we just stop having team policies.
/joking
//mostly
Can you imagine Alex Karras in this era? Shit's getting ridiculous
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:46 PM CST up reply actions
You mean you CAN'T punch a horse?
The fuck you say!
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
Came here to move the afternoon along
then shit my pants and cried a little.
WTF advhnau;rghu;hnvlanjghgiah’ugha;????
Here I was, hoping to enjoy the OSU schadenfreude
when this bullshit comes along.
I..just…can’t do it anymore
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Anymore, I just assume this stuff is coming down the pike
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
I was shocked
truly shocked, that I hadn’t yet seen a “Gone Baby, Gone” piece for McCall yet. Guess AIRBHG was saving his ammo
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
And I figure the McCall piece is still coming
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Dec 20, 2011 5:51 PM CST up reply actions
Wait, that just happened.
So who does Florida play? Is the game cancelled?
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:47 PM CST up reply actions
The bowl ban is in effect for 2012-2013 bowls.
So next year.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Ah. Makes sense.
Can’t stop that money machine.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:52 PM CST up reply actions
The irony is that it probably hurts EVERYONE -- OSU, the B1G, the NCAA -- more if they're suspended next year.
If you assume that an OSU team that isn’t dealing with a slew of suspensions and has Urban Meyer for a head coach can do better than 6-6 and a Gator Bowl, anyway. Which is not a terribly unreasonable assumption, if you ask me.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Apparently OSU had no idea there would be a bowl ban coming.
If they had, I can’t imagine they wouldn’t have voluntarily sat out the Gator Bowl this year.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
That would make much more sense financially, you're right.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:57 PM CST up reply actions
The team is stuck adrift in the Straits of Bullshit
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 4:43 PM CST up reply actions 6 recs
Ooh!
Can these guys provide the soundtrack for that voyage?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
not dire enough yet
(I assume that’s who that is)
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:47 PM CST up reply actions
For Hawkeye football...
this is just the walk of life.
Das Stochern gewinnt.
by Blackheartnopants on Dec 20, 2011 4:50 PM CST via Android app up reply actions 1 recs
is that near shit creek?
Because I think we’re there. Without a paddle, and all that
by HawkeyeInExile on Dec 20, 2011 4:45 PM CST up reply actions
So options other than the existing RBs
Bullock (WR)
Morris (LB)
A.J. Derby (LB/QB)
Sleeper (SS)
Cotton (WR) ?
A metric ton of FBs
Am I missing anyone? Any chance any of them actually see carries?
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
No
Maybe Bullock, but don’t count on it. Expect the Canzeiri and Johnson show.
"Bama Hawkeye, you know, the Iowa blogger who actually uses reason and analysis." - Patrick Vint
"I thought it was laughable when you first put it up, but you were obviously smarter than me." - PurdueMatt
http://www.offtackleempire.com
by Bama Hawkeye on Dec 20, 2011 4:45 PM CST up reply actions
And make our defense even worse?
lulz
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
What an turd of a season
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
by Lycurgus on Dec 20, 2011 4:46 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
What I'd like to know..
Is if McCall is even practicing with the team right now.. .if he got suspended for a Facebook post…Ferentz needs to relax his goddamn sphincter…
by FlyingDutchman1 on Dec 20, 2011 4:47 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
There's about a 98% chance his deal is about more than a Facebook post.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Ross educating with the percentages.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:49 PM CST up reply actions
Then..
let’s goddamn hear it then Iowa coaches..
What are the reasons for these suspensions. The nebulous “violation of team rules” shit doesn’t cut it anymore.
by FlyingDutchman1 on Dec 20, 2011 4:51 PM CST up reply actions
Let's hear your professor air all of your dirty laundry from your undergrad career, too.
They have rights to privacy.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:53 PM CST up reply actions
During endtimes, even cats and dogs are sleeping together.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 5:00 PM CST up reply actions
I don't think they are allowed to be that specific..
by clay-born to party on Dec 20, 2011 4:54 PM CST up reply actions
If it can be revealed that..
Matt McGloin got into a fight in the locker room and Rob Bolden stole a $2 bottle of Gatorade from a store…then they can reveal what ‘rules violation" we’re talking about here.
The only thing they can’t reveal about a student is specific grades and medical conditions…those two things are federally protected…other than that…they can release whatever the hell they want.
An explanation is owed.
by FlyingDutchman1 on Dec 20, 2011 4:56 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah let's give an explanation because flyingdutchman wants one!
by clay-born to party on Dec 20, 2011 4:58 PM CST up reply actions
No..
its owed because people put a shitload of money down on supporting this program. All the way from the people in the luxury suites all the way to the people who buy a Hawk t-shirt.
This secrecy crap has to end. Openness is the best policy.
by FlyingDutchman1 on Dec 20, 2011 5:01 PM CST up reply actions
While I agree with the "sunshine is the best disinfectant" mantra...
…in this case it’s really no one’s business what happened. It wouldn’t change the outcome, and it could be humiliating. Just cause you play football for a team that is profittable does not mean that you should be thrown to the dogs when you make a mistake.
Nobody should care why they're suspended.
They broke the team’s rules, they sit. Even if it’s a stupid rule, the players know the rules and know the punishment. Step out of line and stay home.
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 4:56 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Judging by the team photos that show up in INPIYLTI
I’d say the answer is “No”.
Interestingly, Coker was practicing in the photos linked to yesterday
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I've committed to the Vandenberg show.
10-12 carries for Canzeri or Johnson and 40 or so passes for Vandenberg.
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 4:48 PM CST up reply actions
Marvin's gonna have a chance to go out with a bang.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Yeah, he may also end up with the single game catches record as well.
Assuming he doesn’t own it already.
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 4:49 PM CST up reply actions
No, that is one record he does not yet own.
I don’t think he’s ever had a double-digit catch game.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Didn't he catch 11 one game this year (or am I thinking of the 9 catch game?)?
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 8:12 PM CST up reply actions
Never had more than 9 catches in a game.
He’s had 9 catches twice, both this year.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 9:42 PM CST up reply actions
KNOCK ON SO MUCH WOOD
"WELCOME TA EARFF!"
by Bucketochicken on Dec 20, 2011 5:14 PM CST up reply actions
So 110 total pass attempts and 20 runs in the Insight then.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:50 PM CST up reply actions
Don't play on going to bed at a decent hour.
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 4:56 PM CST up reply actions
There's no way this game will be done before the UFC show is over.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
This'll work well
with our ability to pick up the blitz
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Dec 20, 2011 5:55 PM CST up reply actions
"Any chance any of them actually see carries?"
A 5% chance of Bullock carrying the ball.
Canzeri, Johnson, and maybe White will be the main RBs for this game.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
can we go Refridgerator Perry style and convert a lineman?
by HawkeyeInExile on Dec 20, 2011 4:47 PM CST up reply actions
WOODY ORNE TIME!
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Tackle Eligible Till We Die, Bitchez!
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 4:51 PM CST up reply actions
This sounds suspiciously like Varsity Blues
I’m in.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:54 PM CST up reply actions
The ALL WOODY ORNE, ALL THE TIME offense is going to be fucking awesome, you guys.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
For Fridge style, we'd have to convert a center
because letting any other lineman touch the ball would be too showy for KF.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 8:10 PM CST up reply actions
CAMBUS FOR RB1!!!!1!1!!
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 8:09 PM CST up reply actions
Someone Call Vegas
What kind of jump in the spread are we looking at here?
I can feel it....this is the week O'Keefe is gonna open up the playbook.
by MoMoney MoBrown on Dec 20, 2011 4:46 PM CST reply actions
Games been pulled from Bodog.
I think Hlas said that OU is favored by 14.5
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 4:49 PM CST up reply actions
Still available
I think it opened at 14.5 but then moved down to 13. Seems to be back to 14 right now. 14 is obviously an important point, so I would think it stays at 14 or 14.5. Iowa doesn’t usually get blown out and typically bowls well, so more than that would be a lot.
Iowa will be Riding the bus in Tempe
"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants
by Kluginator on Dec 20, 2011 4:47 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
I'M ON BOARD
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 4:48 PM CST up reply actions
I fucking hate those Reverse Hoosiers.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
by RossWB on Dec 20, 2011 4:49 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
They're pure live.
"WELCOME TA EARFF!"
by Bucketochicken on Dec 20, 2011 5:15 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
There was a full moon recently
A Maryland Werewolf in Iowa?
by MSA_Hawk on Dec 20, 2011 4:50 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
Marcus Coker ate a dude?
Fuck, now there’s a scandal for you.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
by RossWB on Dec 20, 2011 4:51 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Lycan vs. Vampires?
Shit could get serious here real soon.
Also, Norm’s amputation may have been a cover-up. Marcus ate his leg.
by MSA_Hawk on Dec 20, 2011 5:08 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I met his mom once.
Man is he gonna’ get it.
"I mean, are they going to poop their pants or are they going to get tough?" ~Tom Brands
by Hawkeyegirl on Dec 20, 2011 4:50 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Yeah, his parents are at Crystal City Sports Pub in Arlington for the games.
And you are so right.
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
speculatin'
RT @jordangarretson: Bad grades would be surprising in Coker’s case, but the timing of it would make sense. Friday was last day of finals. Grades out about now.
seriously?
I don't have any idea
this kid is the DI beat writer, figured his guess is as good as any
seriously?
Complete conjecture
It says a violation of the student-athlete code of conduct – maybe he got caught cheating on a final or paper?
by DJK's bongwater on Dec 20, 2011 6:07 PM CST up reply actions
From what I understand...
Coker’s got a damn good GPA.. He’s a friggin physics and astronomy major for christ sake..
by FlyingDutchman1 on Dec 20, 2011 4:52 PM CST up reply actions
Astrophysics are really hard
I was an astrophysics major for a semester and basically washed out on it, and I wasn’t carrying the ball 30 times a game on Saturdays. There’s a reason football players usually pick easy majors. It’s really, really hard to do both.
And you can’t fake it when you get to finals either, like you can in a liberal arts field. If you haven’t memorized the right formulas, you will get 0/100 right. I can see this happening to even a really smart guy—there just aren’t enough hours in the day.
Hard classes there
Maybe he waited a year and a half before having the freshman fuckup
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 4:55 PM CST up reply actions
This would be about the time where he'd start taking major classes.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 4:57 PM CST up reply actions
It's a pretty rigorous major, I'd guess.
Perhaps too much to take on while playing FBS football and using your head like a battering ram.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 4:55 PM CST up reply actions
Absolutely
And keep in mind:
(1) The coaches and academic staff probably didn’t pay as much attention to him, since he’s one of the smartest players on the team
(2) The academic support staff is very well-equipped for helping mediocre kids learn to write their first college-level paper. They are not equipped for advanced calculus, or modeling the death of a star. There probably wasn’t much of an infrastructure for keeping Marcus on track, because no one had ever attempted that track before.
Why does difficult major equal good grades?
I was a computer science major and I was kicked out of Iowa after a year. Taking difficult classes does not mean a solid GPA.
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 4:58 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Agreed.
I graduated from Iowa with my Mechanical Engineering BS. I didn’t get very good grades my first couple of years there either.
Pharmacy major here
See my signature line.
I once scored a 17 (out of 100) on an Organic I (or II) test. & I had a tutor. I celebrated PASSING Org II with a D-. However, I did manage to stay in my major after a fine semester of academic probation.
The University of Iowa: the best 6 years of my life. My parents are very proud.
by HawkeyeGirleye on Dec 20, 2011 11:18 PM CST up reply actions
Kids that struggle in school
often turn to a life of drug pushing as a way to make money for their families. It is a story I have seen time and again.
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
by Lycurgus on Dec 21, 2011 8:30 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
That was my first instinct, too.
Unfortunately I didn’t know where to start and never made a very good drug pusher.
by The Mexican't on Dec 21, 2011 8:38 AM CST up reply actions
Interesting.
By the way, I think we need to sell Tom Brands as a kind of drug.
Here’s my bit in our commercial for the drug:
“After watching Brands’ post-Illinois press conference (see my email to you and jtot), I have noted that I have become much more effective and, crucially, intense, at work, in the kitchen, and in the bedroom.
"Woop woop." - Waylon Jennings
by ReadingRambler on Dec 21, 2011 8:47 AM CST up reply actions
I think that would sell
though perhaps not in Oklahoma.
In Oklahoma, John Smith markets the “Hard-to-Get” how to book of love-making. His advice:
Spend the first three minutes having your wife chase you around the bedroom. If she is close to catching you jump out of a window or something. When you go underneath, just lie there and let her do all the work. When on top, crank away until she is on her back and out of breath. If that doesn’t work, wait until the session is almost over and she is not paying attention, then just scoot by her defense, throw in a boot, and ride her ass to a disappointing end.
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
by Lycurgus on Dec 21, 2011 9:13 AM CST up reply actions 7 recs
This is an amazing comment.
Please, good sir, describe the Penn State and Minnesota ways of love-making.
"Woop woop." - Waylon Jennings
by ReadingRambler on Dec 21, 2011 10:57 AM CST up reply actions
J Robinson's Guide to Carnal Delight
Before the act, talk a lot of shit about how you are going to pound the hell out of the object of your lust. Play down the prowess of her other lovers and let everyone in the neighborhood know that the new dynasty on the block is the up-and-coming power between your legs.
Once action begins, push her and slap her a lot. Let her know that you are tougher than she is; women love that stuff. Then, enter her violently and without skill. Make sure you do this early, because you are not conditioned for long periods of exertion and if you wait, you will tire before finishing. Once in, move in quick, frantic motions. Don’t worry, you will finish shockingly quickly.
Undoubtedly, you will have finished long before your female oppo… I mean counterpart. She will attempt to keep using you for her own sick, sexual needs. In this instance, accuse her of stalling her orgasm and then grab the edge of the mattress and pull yourself off of the bed.
At this point, you should declare yourself the champion and proceed to go to your computer where you will announce to internet world that you just fucked your wife better than Dan Gable ever had. At which point you cry a little to yourself knowing full well that such a statement could never be true as long as that flaxen-haired seductress in your bedroom has “Property of D.G.” tattooed above her “hose house” (try saying that in a Minnesota accent five times fast).
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
by Lycurgus on Dec 21, 2011 5:36 PM CST up reply actions 8 recs
Holy Shit.
We’re not worthy, Ly!
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 21, 2011 6:29 PM CST up reply actions
Cael Sanderson's Manual for the Correct Use of Magic Underwear
First, if you are currently with a loving, supportive woman who would do anything for you, leave that cow. You need to do what is best for your package.
Second, move to a state with the greatest collection of sexual talent. Once you arrive in State College, PA… wait, WTF. Then recruit, recruit, recruit; orgies don’t stock themselves.
Third, call up your buddies from Ohio and begin a month of daily waxing and tanning at LionHeart Fitness and Tanning. If you don’t resemble a pre-pubescent Guatemalan, you are doing something wrong.
Fourth, find a saddle and a bucket of condoms for your big, dumb guido friend, because you know how he loves to be ridden.
Fifth, make sure you stock up on board games and hilarious Dane Cook videos, because the party ends early when you are a ONE-AND-DONER.
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
by Lycurgus on Dec 21, 2011 7:02 PM CST up reply actions 4 recs
I think I may like this one best.
So angry.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 21, 2011 10:12 PM CST up reply actions
It is Christmas time
I like to be in the spirit. I wasn’t sure RR knew what he was asking for when he wanted me to write one for PSU.
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
Just going to rec this entire section
Well done. This
At this point, you should declare yourself the champion and proceed to go to your computer where you will announce to internet world that you just fucked your wife better than Dan Gable ever had. At which point you cry a little to yourself knowing full well that such a statement could never be true as long as that flaxen-haired seductress in your bedroom has "Property of D.G." tattooed above her "hose house" (try saying that in a Minnesota accent five times fast).
is SO Minnesota wrestling.
Comedy is where the mind goes to tickle itself.
That's a rec!
Twitterz: @EnergizerHawk
by EnergizerHawk on Dec 21, 2011 12:27 PM CST up reply actions
Hmmm, I have connections.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 21, 2011 10:12 PM CST up reply actions
Brag brag brag
Ha. I am not sure there is much there for a plant systematist.
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
From what I have seen from science profs
(Sorry, Lycurgus), they are exactly the type to let you get a B or C all year, and then plant you in F-ville after a final.
/Actually, I had a couple cool younger science professors/instructors. The old geology prof was a pretty nutty guy, and made the class a little too difficult, IMO.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
I love destroying the dreams of the young.
Arctic plant evolution and dream destruction are my two favorite interests. For the latter, I mainly target those girls who wear sweatpants and uggs.
Parsimony methods are the easiest ones to explain - Felsenstein
…and dream destruction are my two favorite interests. For the latter, I mainly target those girls who wear sweatpants and uggs.
Was that a “paper-grading” joke or…something else?
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 21, 2011 6:31 PM CST up reply actions
Maybe he got suspended because he cares too much...
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
About asteroids?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Um, yeah?
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 5:18 PM CST up reply actions
It's good.
But it’s no Galaga. I spent two weeks of summer camp plugging quarters into a Galaga machine.
/natured.
by TwistConePlease on Dec 20, 2011 7:51 PM CST up reply actions
There's a section in there about..
appeal of a sanction given….makes your wonder if Coker has gone that route….
by FlyingDutchman1 on Dec 20, 2011 4:58 PM CST up reply actions
Those appeals are heard, I heard, by
a 7th year senior from Spirit Lake and a ombudsman named Bud?
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
by StoopsMyAss on Dec 20, 2011 6:50 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I really liked that.
Bravo.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 9:45 PM CST up reply actions
I'm going to guess academic dishonesty
If you get to a advanced physical science or mathematics final and haven’t been doing the work all semester BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN A FREAKIN’ PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER ALL FALL then you really have no chance unless you try to cheat. I’m sure people would be willing to help, and they could’ve gotten caught. Happens to college kids all the time.
Absolutely zero inside information here, just speculating. And I wouldn’t blame him at all for it. Such hypocrisy in college athletics.
Well at least you say that it's pure speculation
Let’s not be going this route.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 5:01 PM CST up reply actions
By the way,
I think you just plagiarized Bryce Carlson.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 5:19 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
He's real genius like @ the law school
"Woody Orne with the one-handed grab!"
by One_ill_KevinJ on Dec 20, 2011 6:39 PM CST up reply actions
Maybe, one of his professors was Stephen Bloom.
by kEvanson on Dec 20, 2011 4:56 PM CST reply actions 5 recs
Boom! Roasted!
Das Stochern gewinnt.
by Blackheartnopants on Dec 20, 2011 5:00 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
I wish.
Thatd mean he leave all of us journalism majors alone.
Football recruiting guy for Hammer and Rails
Lead blogger for 5 other sites.
Follow the Twitter for all the details
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/Riles23
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/Big10RantPurdue
by HawkeyeBoiler on Dec 20, 2011 5:18 PM CST up reply actions
I have yet to have a class with the man. It's going to be awful going from
a brilliant man such as Prof. Durham to pompous Bloom.
Bloom was an ok writing coach
But grab every class you can with Prof. Berry — he makes the j-school worth it.
by TiltingAtDrewTateWindmills on Dec 20, 2011 5:34 PM CST up reply actions
Poopsauce.
Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.
by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Dec 20, 2011 4:57 PM CST reply actions
Don't rush to judgement!
Maybe there is some sort of zany mixup and it’s actually some other guy named Marcus Coker. Let’s just wait this out.
I'll believe that
when me shit turns purple, and tastes like rainbow sorbet.
by captain_JackDaniels on Dec 20, 2011 5:38 PM CST up reply actions
Sherbet
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Dec 20, 2011 8:37 PM CST up reply actions
Shumpert
Das Stochern gewinnt.
by Blackheartnopants on Dec 20, 2011 9:14 PM CST via Android app up reply actions 3 recs
So do our RBs apparently
because they’re constantly doing whatever it takes to get out of playing
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Clearly it's cocaine. We should have known all along, y'all.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
What is this "spread" you speak of?
Playboy foldout or toast topper? And how would these cure our footballing woes?
/snort
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 5:07 PM CST up reply actions
claps four times while biting lower lip with eyes in the direction of the players entering the field
clap clap clap
TWIRLY FINGERS!
Twitterz: @EnergizerHawk
by EnergizerHawk on Dec 20, 2011 7:43 PM CST up reply actions
With one earphone pulled aside.
whistles
"WELCOME TA EARFF!"
by Bucketochicken on Dec 20, 2011 8:23 PM CST up reply actions
kakert is on the radio in dsm
says “whatever this is, happened over the weekend.” That doesn’t sound like grades.
seriously?
I read that as Kakert is in to BDSM
Whats wrong with me?
Smells like bullshit in here.
by Pantslessobserver on Dec 20, 2011 6:58 PM CST up reply actions
Who needs RBs?
Run the shotgun.
Throw the ball.
Count the points.
See who wins.
The “regular” offense probably wasn’t going to do all that well anyway.
"Beware... there are mine fields out there. Most of them are inert. However, some of them are ert."
I hope Vandenberg and KOK watch some Drew Tate videos together.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 5:18 PM CST up reply actions
I'm not sure I want to watch Vandenberg imitate Drew Tate.
3rd and 10: James Vandenberg sacked for ten yard loss
"Woop woop." - Waylon Jennings
by ReadingRambler on Dec 20, 2011 8:07 PM CST up reply actions
/Throws helmet through stadium wall, screams at offensive line
I can ride my bike with no handlebars...
C'mon, it'll be fun!
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 9:39 PM CST up reply actions
kind of thought about this
but then remembered that jvb can’t read a blitz to save his life and we have no one trusted with or who has the experience of picking up a blitz, among many other problems. when coker wasn’t reading blitzes, he was sliding out as a screen receiver option against defensive pressure. aka we’re completely fucked.
I have nothing to add. Merry Fucking Christmas Hawk fans!
by djwoody on Dec 20, 2011 5:17 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Ok, so...
I was unfamiliar with this meme as of fall 2006.
So it’s like my fourth day of law school, and our Contracts professor was calling on people in a clear order so that I knew it was my turn to do a case today; in fact, I was first in line. So I was very well prepared (well, as much as I could be for a know-nothing 1L who’d never participated in class before) to do this particular case.
He begins class, starts going over previous class’s material. He calls on me; I stand up, ready to go over the first case.
“Mr. SomeJerkPoster, tell me what the definition of consideration was that we went over last class.”
I was completely thrown; I hadn’t reviewed last class’s material in preparation for that day. I give him some terrible, terrible definition that isn’t anywhere near “A bargained-for exchange of legal detriments.” He stares at me for a few seconds, turns around, and walks to the whiteboard at the front of the auditorium, where he proceeds to crudely sketch was looks like an animal with a circle on its head.
“Mr. SomeJerkPoster, I’m not sure what you just said, so here’s a bunny with a pancake on its head.”
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 9:49 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Did you go to Iowa Law perchance?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Nope.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 10:01 PM CST up reply actions
That's one heck of a nurse.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 10:31 PM CST up reply actions
That video was my childhood nightmare fuel
and yet I was fascinated by it.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 10:58 PM CST up reply actions
No politics
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Dec 20, 2011 11:24 PM CST up reply actions
How did you get into my sister's house
and take that picture of their rabbit?
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I'm a bit concerned about his mother's reaction to all this.
Marcus is an intense kid taking tough, tough classes. He’s probably pretty bright, but there’s high school bright and college physics bright. He wasn’t, for example, on the academic honors list, so one can’t assume that he’s acing all his classes.
I don’t want to assume anything, but it sounds academic and that limits the possibilities to a couple of things already mentioned: grades and academic integrity. I don’t want to guess on which is which, but knowing what I’ve heard about his mother, it seems—and let’s hope this ain’t so and that I’m utterly full of shit on this—might yank his suspended ass back to Maryland where she can keep an eye on him, and make sure he’s on the right academic track. Seriously, I’m worried about this. The thing that made Marcus and his mom so great a story might also be the thing that takes him out of the program.
Yeah.
Edsall is probably taking anyone who will put on those ugly-ass uniforms right about now.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 5:20 PM CST up reply actions
Deep breath.
Not. Gonna. Happen.
"I mean, are they going to poop their pants or are they going to get tough?" ~Tom Brands
Unless you are Marcus's mom....
…..I don’t think anyone can guarantee that. The woman drove him EIGHTEEN HOURS out here to try and talk him out of going to Iowa. EIGHTEEN. She made him volunteer thousands of hours as a high school student. I can’t even get my kids to even take an empty glass from the family room to the kitchen!
Underestimate this woman at your peril!
by The Director on Dec 20, 2011 5:46 PM CST up reply actions
Maybe he's happy to stay 1,000 miles away from that.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 6:00 PM CST up reply actions
I didn't guarantee that it's Not. Gonna'. Happen.
It’s just not gonna’ happen. They really like Iowa. That is all.
"I mean, are they going to poop their pants or are they going to get tough?" ~Tom Brands
This was/is my fear
But I can see it going either way. In our favor? He’s not a freshman in semester #1. Not in our favor? If he was on thin ice already, Coked Up Mama ain’t messing around.
The University of Iowa: the best 6 years of my life. My parents are very proud.
by HawkeyeGirleye on Dec 20, 2011 10:27 PM CST up reply actions
I assume he used Facebook over the weekend.
Since KF hasn’t given the whole world insight into the actions of 19 year olds under his command we have to assume it’s KF being insane.
So, I’ll go with Facebook. May be a player using mint flavored floss, but I want to stress there’s no evidence of this.
Wait, does Norm Parker have any eligibility left?
Because the game is gonna suck, but watching an old guy with half a foot and a stump play RB would be totally awesome!
by DrHenryKillinger on Dec 20, 2011 5:22 PM CST reply actions
All of this is set up for the greatest Norm defensive performance ever
A 2-0 victory. Calling it.
Das Stochern gewinnt.
by Blackheartnopants on Dec 20, 2011 5:27 PM CST via Android app up reply actions 1 recs
I would love that.
Norm with an awesome walk off 2 run shot.
I can feel it....this is the week O'Keefe is gonna open up the playbook.
by MoMoney MoBrown on Dec 20, 2011 5:50 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I would prefer 3-2, so we can take a "Fuck You" safety.
by rupertj on Dec 20, 2011 6:09 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
clearly the answer is 4-3.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 6:10 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
And there's this:
RT @marcmorehouse: Kaczenski gone. Not coaching in bowl.
seriously?
by PSD on Dec 20, 2011 5:25 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Yep, was just about to post that too.
Hooray!
"WELCOME TA EARFF!"
by Bucketochicken on Dec 20, 2011 5:27 PM CST up reply actions
Great day for the Hawks
Coker suspended, Kaczenski out (with rumors of him going to Nebraska). Pretty awesome day in Iowa City (SARCASM FONT)
Comedy is where the mind goes to tickle itself.
apparently it’s not Nebby, according to ESPN BigTen twitter. Still shitty, though.
by One Night Stanzi on Dec 20, 2011 5:43 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
no, it's just that nebraska didn't confirm anything
which doesn’t mean shit. bigger news is that K was upset with the handling/direction of the whole situation
K equals Kaz?
Upset with the handling of the DC search/pick?
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Or
he just wants to move up in the coaching world and knows that that is not going to happen at Iowa. He doesn’t sound ready to be a DC at a D1 program, and he needs to fatten up the resume.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
both
are what i meant by “the whole situation”
not happy with the direction of the program, with the way KF is handling the search, and he knows that his dream job is gonna require a move or two, might as well start making them now.
by sailorjerry on Dec 21, 2011 10:12 AM CST up reply actions
I thought Kaz moving on
was an inevitability. Just thought it might be 2 or so years from now. If it is to Nebraska and a completely lateral move, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, other than to broaden his resume.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
the approx $40,000/year
pay bump doesn’t hurt either.
"40 MINUTES OF MEH!" - djwoody
by The Bacon Explosion on Dec 21, 2011 3:20 PM CST up reply actions
If not Nebby, do you know where?
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 9:53 PM CST up reply actions
Damn
Hawkeye Report message boards have been on fire today.
by Captain n Diet Coker on Dec 20, 2011 5:29 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah they have - there was a rumor about a starter being suspended pretty early today and a pending commit from the JUCO DE
Both were promptly deleted. That’s usually a sign that something’s up. I’ll take the JUCO DE. The Coker news is a punch to the dick.
Comedy is where the mind goes to tickle itself.
There was also a thread about Coach K being gone as of today
That was spot on.
by Captain n Diet Coker on Dec 20, 2011 5:58 PM CST up reply actions
Sheffield, the DE was sorta rumored last night
when 24/7 Voice of the Hawkeyes tweeted that there was good recruiting news
seriously?
HawkeyeReport
It’s like at-least-three rumor-mongering message boards all rolled into one.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 10:08 PM CST up reply actions
It's a crazy place, Hawkeye Report, but they nailed the Kaz rumor and the starter suspended rumor all in about 2 hours
Considering who posted it, they were better than trolling, BS rumors. We’ll see on the Sheffield stuff, but there were tweets from other sources saying good news was coming on that front, so we’ll see.
Comedy is where the mind goes to tickle itself.
Hawkeye football at its finest.
Fuckin shit balls and ass!
by captain_JackDaniels on Dec 20, 2011 5:36 PM CST up reply actions
Guess the speculation that DC is named already is even more likely.
And that of course it’s not Kaz.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 20, 2011 5:37 PM CST up reply actions
I find it annoying in the extreme...
….that everyone but the entire real world knows that the DC choice is a fait accompli, and has been for at least a little while, and that the new DC has already been chosen.
This is annoying. It smacks of being a bit disingenuous for the powers that be to act like the DC choice is a work in progress. It is not. The man has been chosen. So fucking tell us already.
Yeah, and Jason White is still the back-up RB, I’m sure, as well. Have to admit, the Coker and Kaz info today has my undies a bit in a bunch.
by The Director on Dec 20, 2011 5:43 PM CST up reply actions
It's a state University job
There are rules they have to follow. You’re not allowed to know with 100% certainty before doing a fair search, and there are rules they have to abide by to make it at least look fair. Call it stupid, but that’s the law.
They've had ample chance to post the job.
Norm could’ve retired weeks ago, and they could’ve posted the job in plenty of time to let people know who it is today, rather than engage in this kabuki theatre nonsense that the job is up for grabs, when it’s crystal clear that it ain’t.
It is a nonsense rule, since they act like all you’d have to do is put in your resume and you can demand an interview.
I wonder if one of us tried that, if they’d HAVE to at least talk with you? Hmmm….
by The Director on Dec 20, 2011 5:50 PM CST up reply actions
In IL, the job has to be posted for 30 days before any of the interview process. Then, Equal Opportunity has to vet the candidates brought in. Maybe this is just ass-backwards IL that does it like this.
by One Night Stanzi on Dec 20, 2011 5:57 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
I think it is 2 weeks in IA
Not sure though
by The KF Karate Chop on Dec 20, 2011 6:26 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
Yeah, but it's also a favor to guys like Kaz, who could leverage a bit more if he could play the promoted-within card.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 10:10 PM CST up reply actions
I'm fine with that
If people think KF is a hard-ass, they do not want Kaz promoted past DL coach. Good for him if he got DC at Nebraska. We’ll find someone to fill-in.
Keep in mind, the DL sucked this year.
And last year.
Given the talent we had, I think it incredibly under-achieved. Then again, someone must have seen something in Kaz to offer him a job.
by The Director on Dec 20, 2011 5:47 PM CST up reply actions
I choose to believe
That Tom Bradley is bringing his own DL coach.
Wait until the first game you lose because of "too much soft zone"
"Woop woop." - Waylon Jennings
by ReadingRambler on Dec 20, 2011 8:09 PM CST up reply actions
Indeed.
"Woop woop." - Waylon Jennings
by ReadingRambler on Dec 20, 2011 8:22 PM CST up reply actions
Cue Kevin Bacon
“ALL IS WELL!!!” gif right now.
by Captain n Diet Coker on Dec 20, 2011 5:30 PM CST reply actions
I think a sacrifice is in order.
To please AIRBHG we need to sacrifice a lamb or something. This is getting out of hand.
by captain_JackDaniels on Dec 20, 2011 5:35 PM CST reply actions
not a good sign
that weve had at least 3 starting RBs since Shonn Greene in 09
I was thinking the same thing
It’s clear AIRBHG demands an annual human sacrifice. From now on, I think it’s clear that we need to sacrifice someone in the preseason. Maybe a freshman kicker? We can even start recruiting spares in case we need to improve our juju around bowl time. It’ll suck wasting all those scholarships on dead freshman kickers, but it’s better than losing your starting running back every post-season. We have to keep things in perspective people.
by HawkeyeInExile on Dec 20, 2011 10:02 PM CST up reply actions
I'm not sure we can lose a kicker, unless it is a walk-on who will never, ever play.
But we could probably lose the man on the last line of the depth chart at either TE or FB.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 10:15 PM CST up reply actions
no no, definitely not anyone on the depth chart
We recruit extra kickers specifically for this purpose. I don’t think AIRBHG would be satisfied with walk-ons. He definitely wants scholarships. Blood and scholarships
by HawkeyeInExile on Dec 20, 2011 10:29 PM CST up reply actions
...
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 10:30 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Fuck you, Jobu.
Can’t Marcus get some accident forgiveness?
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 10:35 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
So you're telling me I need to change this?
I’m currently #1 in the BHGP Bowl Pick-em and that makes me #38 overall in the entire country on Yahoo. I have Iowa as my 35 confidence pick. Maybe change that, huh?
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
You gotta love how Iowa fan keeps blaming AIRBHG
Rather than the multimillionaires paid to produce a product to put on the field. If I were KF, I wouldn’t think of going anywhere else for life either.
Great seats still available, though.
DURRRRRRRRR
DERP DERP DPER DURRR DERPA.
by mikjones24 on Dec 20, 2011 6:33 PM CST up reply actions 5 recs
Point proven.
Thanks for your support. I think there’s a new episode of that redneck exterminator show on tonight. Run along now.
Double derp.
I still can’t believe anyone is still a fan of Iowa football after Bloodpunch played all of those evil pranks on Iowa State, and after KOK kidnapped multiple Iowa players.
Also have no idea how BHGP got the AIM transcripts of those phone calls. Regular f’n Bernwards and Woodsteins they are.
/serious font
by TwistConePlease on Dec 20, 2011 7:57 PM CST up reply actions 5 recs
rec'd for deepthroat action
/lulz at myself
"Woody Orne with the one-handed grab!"
by One_ill_KevinJ on Dec 20, 2011 7:58 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
The greatest trick that millionaire Kirk Ferentz ever did
Was convince Iowa that football didn’t exist.
Or something like that.
FIRE EM ALL.
by mikjones24 on Dec 20, 2011 7:59 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
Billy the Exterminator
is a damn fine show
"GO HAWKS!" - only cure for Hawkeye Envy
by BentNotBroken on Dec 20, 2011 8:00 PM CST up reply actions
Stephen Bloom?
Is that you?
And yes, a fictional deity that hates our running backs is to blame for Coker’s suspension. Not only that, but Coker is in fact, part werewolf and always coked up. And Brad Rogers is really a Cambus with legs, arms and a head. And Ken O’Keefe really did make Jake Christensen fight a bear. And Pat Fitzgerald really is a baby eating master of wizardry.
Okay, that last one is 100% true.
Wanna be frustrated that once again our starting RB will miss the Insight Bowl? Go ahead. Wanna be frustrated about the state of the program in general? Fair enough. But being frustrated by the fact that some have chosen to reference a meme that’s been around for years? Seems misplaced.
by Touchdown Iowa! on Dec 20, 2011 8:58 PM CST up reply actions
I think Fitz just eats ass.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 10:34 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
KIRK IS AIRBHG?
Twitterz: @EnergizerHawk
by EnergizerHawk on Dec 20, 2011 7:49 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
Meh.
I’m pretty impressed that we usually seem to find a decent replacement at RB.
Can you imagine what would happen at some schools when their #1 RB misses half a season. Some of those teams completely collapse.
For as much RB attrition as we have seen, we could have been a lot worse.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 10:01 PM CST up reply actions
Hahahahaha,
FAIL: http://www.hawkeyenation.com/forum/football/39597-coker-suspended-insight-bowl-4.html#post645271
"WELCOME TA EARFF!"
EVERYONE PANIC
QUICK FIRE KIRK!
I can feel it....this is the week O'Keefe is gonna open up the playbook.
by MoMoney MoBrown on Dec 20, 2011 5:43 PM CST reply actions
Funny enough I was thinking it's been a while since Kirk suspended someone.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
That's a riot, Alice. A REAL riot!
To the moon!!!
"I mean, are they going to poop their pants or are they going to get tough?" ~Tom Brands
Too soon
For astronomy references.
by The KF Karate Chop on Dec 20, 2011 5:51 PM CST via Android app up reply actions 1 recs
If I were a theoretical 4-star RB recruit
And were a projected starter, at this point I’d be nervous about coming to Iowa.
If I were projected 2nd or 3rd string though, I’d be all over that shit. Almost guaranteed playing time.
Executive Producer - WRNL TV
by CyHawk on Dec 20, 2011 5:47 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Unlike in basketball in the vast majority of cases
if the suspension is temporary then most football players stay. There is a long list of KF suspensions, and most return unless they are no longer wanted (endless suspension). Adam Robinson wanted to come back. Jewel was told to go fly a kite.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
So you're saying that we just need to wait and see how long the suspension is?
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 6:08 PM CST up reply actions
and for what
if he was suspended for grades that is NCAA stuff, if he was suspended for calling KOK an asshole, well then, that’s a different set of issues.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
Guys getting sat for cussing a coach?
Waaaay to thin-skinned for football. But that’s my opinion.
Das Stochern gewinnt.
by Blackheartnopants on Dec 20, 2011 6:15 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
It's KOK dude...no one defames the KOK.
Especially a loud mouth kid from the home of John Waters.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
He'd call KoK a tea bagger
And get a blank stare in return.
Das Stochern gewinnt.
by Blackheartnopants on Dec 20, 2011 6:20 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
Or maybe he teabagged KOK in a game of MW3 and KOK reported his poor sportsmanship to Ferentz.
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 6:24 PM CST up reply actions
Please
KOK playing MW3: “Where’s Pac-Man?”
Das Stochern gewinnt.
by Blackheartnopants on Dec 20, 2011 6:27 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
Maybe he pointed and laughed at KOK
sizedoesen’tmatter
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
The bright side
and when I say bright, I mean incredibly dim, but still lighter than other ways of looking at it is that if this suspension is short term and temporary, you have to think that none of the backups here are going to prove themselves to such a degree that they would take Coker’s job.
That being said, we don’t know anything, and as it’s been pointed out, if it’s a larger issue his mom might want him closer to home.
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Dec 20, 2011 6:10 PM CST up reply actions
JC is the next great Iowa back who will not make it to his junior year!
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
just like coker wasnt gonna replace robinson or wegher...
well see, id like to see someone step up and get some consistent touches. coker has looked very tired in a few games
I would think,
that if it was something in the vein of academic dishonesty, but he only gets put on academic probation, I bet he’ll stay.
If it is alcohol-related, I have no clue.
The guy has been productive in the Big Ten, so I don’t foresee him dropping to FCS.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 10:03 PM CST up reply actions
He still has a redshirt available
allowing him to transfer to another D-1 school and still have two years of eligibility (if he so decided)
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Do not fuck with Vegas...baby.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
by StoopsMyAss on Dec 20, 2011 6:03 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
I read that PSU's Bolden robbed a convenience store of gatorade and condoms
or chips or something and he will be eligible for the bowl (as of this post).
What gives? I thought Iowa and Penn State were brothers from a different mother?
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
McGloin's jaw appears to be what's given.
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 6:09 PM CST up reply actions 5 recs
Bud-bum-bah!
"Woody Orne with the one-handed grab!"
by One_ill_KevinJ on Dec 20, 2011 6:47 PM CST up reply actions
"robbed" is too strong, though it could give a good pun.
Supposedly this was all part of a prank, i.e. college students being college students. He stole a bottle of Gatorade which he promptly returned. Not a big deal. Just stupid.
"Woop woop." - Waylon Jennings
by ReadingRambler on Dec 20, 2011 8:14 PM CST up reply actions
I'll bet
He was caught keeping a drug house
I can feel it....this is the week O'Keefe is gonna open up the playbook.
by MoMoney MoBrown on Dec 20, 2011 6:23 PM CST reply actions
Maybe drugging a house keep
I can feel it....this is the week O'Keefe is gonna open up the playbook.
by MoMoney MoBrown on Dec 20, 2011 6:32 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
OOOH, that's good.
We allllll got chloroformmmed.
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 6:39 PM CST up reply actions
There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 10:45 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
We can't stop here. This is bat country.
Das Stochern gewinnt.
by Blackheartnopants on Dec 20, 2011 10:57 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
That I have to rec
"40 MINUTES OF MEH!" - djwoody
by The Bacon Explosion on Dec 21, 2011 8:42 AM CST up reply actions
Order some fucking golf shoes man
I can feel it....this is the week O'Keefe is gonna open up the playbook.
by MoMoney MoBrown on Dec 21, 2011 12:30 PM CST up reply actions
Best opening paragraph to a book, ever.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 21, 2011 10:14 PM CST up reply actions
Fuck it
I’m getting a whore tonight then blowing my brains out
My porn name is HogOfHawkness
by HeartOfHawkness on Dec 20, 2011 6:33 PM CST reply actions
I wonder what Craig James would have said about all this?
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
It's not what he would say
it’s what he would have done. 5 times. Allegedly.
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Dec 20, 2011 6:47 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
I'm not sure, but I'll bet Matt Millen is distraught.
by The Mexican't on Dec 20, 2011 6:48 PM CST up reply actions
I heard Bob Sanders was openly weeping when asked about this after Charger practice today
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
Don't know if this got posted yet but
Kaczesnki quit.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2011/football/ncaa/12/20/iowa.kaczenski.ap/index.html?sct=cf_t2_a6
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
Oh, I knew this. It's discussed above. I just want you to get out of here.
;-)/
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
It's bald
so I’m going to say yes, it is male.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
It could be going through chemo, hence the sadface.
(Sorry, I thought this thread was a little too cheery. Had to bring it down a notch.)
"Hi, I'm Bob Executive. Which way to business?"
by IPeeBlackAndGold on Dec 21, 2011 12:19 AM CST up reply actions
and the Gophers are taking all that glitter off their helmets
Really not a good day
Man this is fucked up. All the way around.
Smells like bullshit in here.
by Pantslessobserver on Dec 20, 2011 7:01 PM CST reply actions
Maybe his offense involved tattoos?
He did, afterall, get the same punishment as tOSU. /Bowl banned.
"I mean, are they going to poop their pants or are they going to get tough?" ~Tom Brands
i think Jess Settles has one year of eligibility left
and i am hiding the sharp objects
Her noblesse exceeded her oblige
by OhioHawk on Dec 20, 2011 7:14 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
I was having a perfectly nice day
Then this had to happen!
NOT ENTERTAINED!
But "disappointing" is not a synonym for "crappy." - Jacob Peterson
"We are Iowans, for the most part if you tell us to do something we’ll do it. It’s not like we are from South Carolina." - Carfino'sWay
by 6 seconds of hell on Dec 20, 2011 7:15 PM CST reply actions
We need Dantonio's standard of discipline for bowl games...or do we?
Seriously, I’m at a loss on why we’ve had so many guys arrested/in trouble. Kirk, is probably one of the most ethical and “by-the-book” coaches in college football yet we keep getting guys in trouble. Sure Iowa City makes top 10 college party town lists and that can be a recipe for disaster, but c’mon. i don’t know if it’s our recruiting(our recruits seems like good students/citizen types)or if it’s some enforcement/discipline problems when the hit campus or maybe it’s just dumb luck mixed with 18-22 males in a “party town” but, jebus this is wearing thin. If this were Dantonio-Petrnio-Saban et al maybe none of this even makes the papers let alone get’s the guy suspended for an entire game(not knowing the offense it’s impossible to say), but something seems amiss.
Now, it may be the case that Coker’s malfeasance was on the light side and Kirk is just making a point(how many effing times till the players get it?)but, this kind of stuff is troubling. If there is a silver lining to this(Yeah, I’m reaching here) maybe it’s that we were likely to get killed by OU with or without Coker and this just further confirms the inevitable.
The larger picture here is that Iowa can’t afford serious attrition that it seemingly annually suffers and expect to be a consistent Big Ten title contender. I was hoping(and I’m pretty pleased with the 2012 recruiting class, and the preceeding two) that we were moving towards being a team that could win between 9-12 games a year with no deep dips. Now, it seems we have to struggle though this ugly attrition(hoping it’s JUST for the bowl game)again. We don’t have the depth for it and expect to be good.
I'm totally miffed too.
I want to believe that Ferentz is just such a by-the-book guy that he reports what every lesser man let’s go by the wayside, and the white knight hurts himself. Unlikely. I want to blame the police in Iowa City (due respect to all the law enforcement, but I am not a fan of any police, much less Iowa City Police), and while they are schmucks this can’t fall on them. I want to blame the players but I really don’t think the guys at Iowa are any better/worse/different than players at any school; they are good young kids who may make mistakes every now and then, but they aren’t plagued by them.
Who in the hell else does this leave? What is happening?!?
"Woody Orne with the one-handed grab!"
by One_ill_KevinJ on Dec 20, 2011 7:57 PM CST up reply actions
I really don't know.
I seriously doubt KF is getting kids that are more apt to get into to trouble than most other schools. In fact, I think especially in the last few classes his recruits tend to be the "good student/good citizen’ types. Maybe, this is more natural attrition and trouble as opposed to before cracking down on kids at the bars via the football “mentor” they hired.
According to Marc Morehouse there’s no indication he committed a criminal act so this was probably strictly a team and/or university violation. I really do believe KF is a really good person, and a ethical coach, I just wonder if they’ve dropped the ball on some aspect of discipline either before they hit campus or after they do. I’d really like to go 3-4 years with less than usual attrition/off-the-field problems where we can sit backs and say well maybe this is just an evening of the happenstance when we had all those problems.
by Steven Dailey on Dec 20, 2011 8:08 PM CST up reply actions
Not to take the ownership away from the players who do most of this petty shit they get in trouble for (not DJK)
But IC police are hard-asses, especially to those they think could be athletes. When I was going there a few years ago, the police would constantly check ID’s for my friends and I. Many of us looked like players or were. Don’t get me wrong; if you are underage and don’t want to get in trouble, don’t drink. But, on more than one occasion, my buddy (who didn’t drink) got an underage ticket for sitting at a table with people who were drinking (legally). Other schools have their campus police on a leash so the players usually are turned into the coach or are let slide on some things.
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
I meant taller than 6' and larger than your average person
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
Yep.
I’m 6’ and about 205 pounds (and white) and I’ve actually had people ask if I had played for Iowa when I’ve worn a Hawkeyes shirt.
by 99FormationsButFourWideAin'tOne on Dec 21, 2011 12:08 AM CST up reply actions
humblebrag
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 21, 2011 12:11 AM CST up reply actions
Damn.
Leave for work and a coach quits, the starting RB gets suspended, and we have somebody that wants us to act Saban and Dantonio. What’s next, Yankees and Red Sox getting along?
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Dec 20, 2011 7:46 PM CST reply actions
Actually, I don't want us to act like Saban-Dantonio.
I’m just in the angry phase of grief.
Hey Ross
have you already written the “gone baby gone” for McCall?
"Your spelling and grammar errors belie a seriously skilled thought process"- therealCatnuts
by justsomehawkeyefan on Dec 20, 2011 8:21 PM CST reply actions
No, because he's not fucking gone.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
by RossWB on Dec 20, 2011 8:34 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
If I were you
I’d write a rough draft of the “Gone Baby Gone” at the same time you write the “Caring is Creepy” for RB recruits.
You know, while the information is still fresh in your mind.
by 99FormationsButFourWideAin'tOne on Dec 20, 2011 8:38 PM CST up reply actions
I figure it pays to have 'em written and up to date for:
1. All running backs (even recruits)
2. All lineman (offensive and defensive)
3. Kirk Ferentz
4. KOK
Maybe he was checking out heavenly bodies with his telescope?
"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants
by Kluginator on Dec 20, 2011 8:43 PM CST reply actions 4 recs
Awesome!
Das Stochern gewinnt.
by Blackheartnopants on Dec 20, 2011 9:16 PM CST via Android app up reply actions
This made me smile a little. Thanks, Kluginator.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 9:59 PM CST up reply actions
Rumors on twitter that it's alchohol related.
If so and there’s no criminal charges pending it may be that a member of the staff ID’ed him at a IC bar.
Or the rumors may be wrong.
see above
quote tonight on barta that it was a department rule, not a team rule. everything else is semantics. he’s gone.
If it's not criminal I'd think he'll be back this spring.
Yeah, I posted the link to the Barta quote.
by Steven Dailey on Dec 20, 2011 9:10 PM CST up reply actions
Seems like he tried to explain particle physics to Ken O'Keefe
And KOK finally snapped and said, “I DON’T FUCKING GET IT! YOU’RE NOT COMING TO THE BOWL GAME!” Kirk had no choice but to back him up.
I can ride my bike with no handlebars...
by hkobb7 on Dec 20, 2011 9:13 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Hey there.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I hate to be the one to post this, and feel free to delete
But some ugly rumors on HawkeyeReport right now.
Think Pierre Pierce.
Wow. I really hope that is not true.
Because I want to like Marcus Coker. I don’t want to hate him.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 10:44 PM CST up reply actions
I'll be go to hell before I believe any rumor started on an ESPN comment
Those dumbasses are as bad as Yahoo commentators, just with less Chinese spam.
/noracist’d
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Dec 20, 2011 10:53 PM CST up reply actions
Wouldn't that be a violation of a law?
Wouldn’t the press know about this, and wouldn’t it BE the 10 o’clock news tonight?
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 10:55 PM CST up reply actions
You would think so.
But, it seems like TV stations wait for newspapers to break a story like that, and newspaper guys/gals may not have had enough time to do so in less than a day.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Dec 20, 2011 10:58 PM CST up reply actions
No way. It'd be on twitter almost as quickly as it happened, it would trend, and the nightly news would have 10 minutes of non-coverage about it.
They don’t need information. They just have to be able to say “You saw it here first” even if half of what is said is later retracted, and the other half of the details are filled in at a later date.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 11:01 PM CST up reply actions
We know that he hasn't been arrested yet. And might not be.
Remember the infamous Hillcrest incident? Took a long time for that one to come to light and charges to be filed. They attempted to handle it in-house at first. If something happened in a dorm room or on-campus it may not necessarily be charged as a criminal offense, per se.
Not saying this is true. Not saying he did anything wrong even if alleged. Just saying it’s out there.
by i_love_iowa on Dec 20, 2011 11:05 PM CST up reply actions
Could you link?
I haven’t seen anything like that, but I think they’ll delete posts that seem sensational.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 11:11 PM CST up reply actions
At least 3 different people in this thread saying they've heard these rumors
including one from a “source on the team”
http://iowa.rivals.com/showmsg.asp?fid=811&tid=151130130&mid=151130130&sid=940&style=2
by i_love_iowa on Dec 20, 2011 11:19 PM CST up reply actions
Ahh, I stay away from the OT board.
I think it’s a good strategy.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 11:28 PM CST up reply actions
It's by far the best thing about that site.
It’s not even close.
by i_love_iowa on Dec 20, 2011 11:36 PM CST up reply actions
OT is a fount of reason compared to the FB board.
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Dec 20, 2011 11:37 PM CST up reply actions
I pretty much stick to the Lounge.
Kakert and Sanderson do excellent work, and occasionally some tidbits will fall (e.g. the Kaz thing was mentioned this morning). The repartee between posters is much better here, though, enough to where I’m seriously considering getting rid of my membership there.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 11:42 PM CST up reply actions
I'm not a fan of the moderation.
Heaven help anybody that mentions something a mod might have said or done. You’ll be permabanned.
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Dec 20, 2011 11:51 PM CST up reply actions
I thought the assault stuff was the rumored reason for McCall's suspension
But we’ll see.
OT can be fun, but it’s almost NEVER safe for work.
Comedy is where the mind goes to tickle itself.
I didn't see anything like that, but I did see this:
So we should probably take HawkeyeReport rumors with a grain of salt.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 10:58 PM CST up reply actions
Your rumor comment is ugly.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Dec 20, 2011 11:01 PM CST up reply actions
SUSPENDED
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
by SomeJerkPoster on Dec 20, 2011 11:02 PM CST up reply actions
That's against the rules now?
Shit, a friend of mine has a HIDEOUS-looking baby (seriously, she’s ugly as sin). Granted, we don’t say this in front of her, but everyone who knows her is in complete agreement.
Don’t blame Marcus for calling your baby ugly, blame your ugly gene pool.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
You guys really need to take AIRBHG out back and shoot him
and also, Purdue needs to commit deicide on their Angry ACL Hating God
by LincolnParkWildcat on Dec 20, 2011 10:49 PM CST reply actions
On the bright side, this increases the chances of landing two really good recruits.
It wasn’t like Coker was going to last for more than another year anyway, right?
meh
All around sucky day.
But on the flipside, does this mean we’ll be hearing a lot from the Polish Hat in AZ?
iowa seems very determined
on starting freshmen running backs and getting them in trouble
Meh. Been there.Done that.
/CokerInsightBowl2010’d
meh
by tyger1147 on Dec 21, 2011 12:42 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
I can't follow this team any more.
Even the pathologies are predictable. Everything is predictable. The flogging will continue until morale improves. Coker is a boy scout, there aren’t better kids out there. The reporters will ask, in hushed and quavering tones, a tentative question about why the fuck this happens every year, and Ferentz will sneer at them. The DL coach takes a lateral move — not a promotion — to a rival. McCall will be the only transfer in the country this year who transfers because he can’t spell “straight” on facebook.
For the players’ sake, I hope our four offensive plays work against Oklahoma despite the fact that whoever is carrying the ball hasn’t carried the ball in college before. It’s not like Oklahoma has any athletes, or anything. Maybe Oklahoma will be flatter than expected, since their eyes are the size of silver dollars right now, contemplating a college football team that throws their two qualified backs off the team for using FB and … what? Smoking a joint? Drinking a beer at the Mill?
Football is a game, games are supposed to be fun. This is like following Jacksonville when Coughlin was coach, a death march presided over by a joyless grinder.
The coach is the AIRBHG, you realize, right?
Logic, grammar and punctuation: much preferred!
by I_am_Querulous_Yellow on Dec 21, 2011 5:32 AM CST reply actions
Considering Coker is being suspended for violation of University policy
not “Football team policy”, I’m really failing to realize why everyone wants to put Ferentz at fault. But whatever floats your boat, I suppose. We also have no idea what McCall is suspended for. It’s fun to play up the Facebook thing, but there’s no reason to believe it, either.
"There are few things graven in stone, except that you have to squat or you're a pussy." -Mark Rippetoe
If by "everyone"
do you mean “I_am-Querulous_Yellow”? Because other than him, I don’t see many people putting this one Ferentz
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I don't know
seems like I’ve read god knows how many comments the last few days, and it seemed like more than a few were wondering why Ferentz was suspending him. In other news – how bout that Reggie Bush!
"There are few things graven in stone, except that you have to squat or you're a pussy." -Mark Rippetoe
Maybe Kirk is just trying to play conservative
Kinda like kneeling on the ball with 5 min left to go in the half and 3 Time outs. I bet Kirk is thinking “Hey, if i suspend him for the game against Oklahoma, then he will be rested enough for our game against Northern Illinois in Chicago, That Northern Illinois game is important and we wouldn’t want to have our 1st string RB injured for it.”
by hawkeye0485 on Dec 21, 2011 6:19 AM CST reply actions 1 recs
Why can't we hide these offenses like any good program would?
Are these guys committing offenses that would result in suspension at other programs?
Just curious.
If you do something wrong you deserve the punishment for it.
Football players (even at Iowa) get enough special treatment the way it is. If you screw up you have to have repercussions or you never learn from it. Then you end up like Larry Johnson Jr.
Yes, but not everyone is equally equal.
You give MJ a lot more slack than Trent Tucker.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Dec 21, 2011 10:17 PM CST up reply actions
Insight Bowl 2011: Potential for 2005 Capital One Bowl style offense.
About 50 rushing yards, 300 or so passing yards, and a fluky win decided on a 60-yard heave to Staggs on the last play of the game.
Since it seems the coaches have little faith in the backup RBs, one expects Vandy is going to come out slinging the ball around. Get ready Mr. McNutt, you’re going to see a whole lot of balls coming your way. Same goes for Messrs. Davis, Martin-Manley, and Fiedorowicz.
Then Vandy is going to get killed.
We can’t pick up a blitz or block it to save our lives, and haven’t been able to for several years now, even with multiple NFL players on the OL. He’s going to leave in a bodybag if we start chucking it all over the yard.
No choice - going to have to adjust.
If they can’t get the passing game going in this game then they’re doomed. Time to dust off the no-huddle offense. Get to the line in a hurry, keep the D from making substitutions, force them to show the blitz, then adjust to whatever looks they give you.
Or maybe not.
Vandy’s got a year of experience now, he and the coaching staff have had plenty of time to study film on the Sooners, as well as to do self-scouting to address their own faults. I think they’ll be okay.
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