Mr. Optimist and Mr. Pessimist Preview Iowa vs. Michigan
by RossWB on Nov 4, 2011 2:29 PM CDT
in Iowa Hawkeyes Football
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PrintMr. Pessimist: HEY THERE, DUMBASS. HOW'S THE KOOL-AID TASTING THESE DAYS?
Mr. Optimist: Delicious. How many coaches do you want fired this week?
Mr. Pessimist: ALL OF THEM
Mr. Optimist: Of course you do
Mr. Pessimist: SHUT YOUR FACE-HOLE, YOU KOOL-AID DRINKING ENABLER.
Mr. Optimist: Charming. Alright, let's just get this over with: BHGP asked us to preview this week's Iowa-Michigan game.
Mr. Pessimist: OH GOD, THE PAIN, THE PAIN, THE HORRIBLE GODFORSAKEN PAIN.
Mr. Optimist: Oh, come on, you drama queen. Iowa's not that bad.
Mr. Pessimist: NOT THAT BAD? THEY JUST LOST TO MINNE-FUCKING-SOTA! THE SAME MINNESOTA TEAM THAT PEOPLE WERE THINKING MIGHT BE THE WORST BIG TEN TEAM IN HISTORY JUST A FEW WEEKS AGO!
Mr. Optimist: Well, that was a little hyperbolic, don't you think? And obviously why you don't judge an entire season on one or two games.
Mr. Pessimist: THEY WERE A FUCKING HORRORSHOW AND NO AMOUNT OF KOOL-AID CAN DENY THAT
Mr. Optimist: No, you're right --
Mr. Pessimist: HA!
Mr. Optimist: That was an inexcusable loss. But it was also flukey in a way, since --
Mr. Pessimist: FLUKEY? THEY'VE LOST MULTIPLE GAMES THAT SAME WAY THE LAST FEW YEARS: LATE DEFENSIVE COLLAPSES, RUNNING QUARTERBACKS, SPECIAL TEAMS MELTDOWNS...
Mr. Optimist: Hey, let me finish, okay? That's all true to some extent, but there were also some odd flukes in that game. Iowa scored on 26/27 red zone possessions... yet went just 3/6 against Minnesota? Mike Meyer had gone 12/14 on field goals before that game... but went 0/2 against Minnesota? Including missing a chip shot from 20-some yards?
Mr. Pessimist: HE WAS NEVER AS GOOD AS HIS STATS SAID HE WAS! HIS MECHANICS WERE IFFY AND HE WAS DUE TO REGRESS TO THE MEAN!
Mr. Optimist: Okay, be that as it may, I don't think it suddenly means he's going to start bricking field goals every week.
Mr. Pessimist: I GODDAMN HOPE NOT OR I WILL DEMAND THAT HIS SCHOLARSHIP BE CUT.
Mr. Optimist: You're such a charmer. I'm just saying, yeah, there was bad stuff that happened last week that was all too familiar to past Iowa games... but there was also some really weird, kind of random crap that happened in that game. That probably isn't going to happen in other games, too.
Mr. Pessimist: IT MIGHT. GUESS WHO HAS THE BEST RED ZONE DEFENSE STATS IN THE ENTIRE COUNTRY? /starts humming "Hail to the Victors"
Mr. Optimist: You're right. They've been very good about getting timely turnovers or stops in the red zone this year. They've also been much better at home than on the road at getting those stops. Opponents have scored on 7 of 9 red zone trips in Michigan's road games, compared to 8 of 17 red zone trips in Michigan's home games.
Mr. Pessimist: DOESN'T MATTER. MICHIGAN IS SO GOOD THAT THEY WON'T NEED IOWA TO MAKE A BUNCH OF FUCK-UPS TO WHUP THAT ASS UP AND DOWN THE TURF TOMORROW.
Mr. Optimist: How good is Michigan?
Mr. Pessimist: BETTER THAN FUCKING IOWA, THAT'S FOR SURE.
Mr. Optimist: Yeah, probably. But good teams don't always win -- especially on the road. See, um, last week's Iowa game.
Mr. Pessimist: ...
Mr. Optimist: Do you know how many times Michigan has left the state of Michigan this year?
Mr. Pessimist: NO, BUT I BET YOU DO
Mr. Optimist: Once! One time! And that was a trip to Northwestern, where they probably had at least half the fans anyway. They were down 10 points at halftime in that one, too.
Mr. Pessimist: AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
Mr. Optimist: Er, Michigan held Northwestern scoreless in the second half and won going away.
Mr. Pessimist: UH HUH. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS GOOD AT PISSING GAMES AWAY IN THE FOURTH QUARTER?
Mr. Optimist: Yeah, yeah. But still: they've only faced one truly hostile road environment all season -- at Michigan State -- where they looked like crap (Denard in particular) and lost.
Mr. Pessimist: MICHIGAN STATE ALSO HAS SOMETHING CALLED A "DEFENSE." PERHAPS YOU'VE HEARD OF IT? IOWA USED TO HAVE A PRETTY GOOD ONE.
Mr. Optimist: I know. We're going to get to the defense in a little bit. I'm just saying: Michigan hasn't been the same Michigan this year outside of Ann Arbor. And Kinnick can still get pretty rowdy.
Mr. Pessimist: PFFT. KINNICK WILL BE QUIET AS SUNDAY MASS AFTER DENARD WALTZES UP AND DOWN THE FIELD A FEW TIMES ON SATURDAY.
Mr. Optimist: Maybe, but not if the offense can get things going. Iowa's averaging 39 ppg at home this year.
Mr. Pessimist: MICHIGAN HAS THE 5TH BEST SCORING DEFENSE IN THE COUNTRY, BRO. ONLY GIVING UP 14.6 PPG.
Mr. Optimist: They've given up 26 ppg in their two road games, though. Look, for whatever reason Iowa has been a night and day different team at home versus on the road this year. It's nuts. I mean, look at Vandenberg's home-road splits:
HOME: 95/147 1365 yards 14 TD 2 INT
AWAY: 49/86 553 yards 3 TD 2 INT
He's averaging almost 100 fewer yards per game on the road and almost two fewer touchdown passes. If Iowa could play all their games at home, he'd probably run away with All-Big Ten honors.
Mr. Pessimist: MICHIGAN HAS A GOOD PASS DEFENSE -- 26TH IN THE COUNTRY.
Mr. Optimist: And just sixth in the Big Ten. Again: home-away splits matter, too. On the road, they've allowed 40 more ypg than at home, a higher QB rating, and a higher completion percentage.
Mr. Pessimist: THE FREAKISHLY ACCURATE DAN PERSA IS RESPONSIBLE FOR A LOT OF THAT. KIRKY COUSINS DIDN'T LOOK SO HOT AGAINST THEIR PASS DEFENSE.
Mr. Optimist: He was also trying to throw the ball into a wind tunnel.
Mr. Pessimist: EXCUSES ARE LIKE--
Mr. Optimist: Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Iowa could have success running the ball on Michigan too.
Mr. Pessimist: THEIR RUN DEFENSE IS... OKAY, ACTUALLY IT'S NOT AWESOME.
Mr. Optimist: Ha! Yeah, they're 51st in the nation and 5th in the Big Ten. It's not even just a home-road thing, either. Notre Dame and Eastern Michigan both went for 4.5 ypc or better against them in Ann Arbor. Michigan State ran up and down on them on the road, too: 213 yards on 39 carries, 5.5 ypc.
Mr. Pessimist: YEAH, WELL, DOESN'T IOWA KIND OF SUCK AT RUNNING THE BALL THIS YEAR?
Mr. Optimist: Well, sort of. But two points there: one, while we were below average as a team, we did have one great individual runner: Marcus Coker. And two, we've been a lot better the last few weeks. 150+ yards in three straight games, six touchdowns, at least 4.8 ypc in every game.
Mr. Pessimist: YEAH, AGAINST THE THREE WORST RUSH DEFENSES IN THE LEAGUE.
Mr. Optimist: True, but even a blind man could tell that Marcus Coker is running much better now than he was earlier in the year. It's not like Iowa State and Tennessee Tech had lockdown run defenses, either, and he wasn't abusing them like he has the last few weeks. He's running hard, he's running with confidence, and he's running decisively. Have you seen how many defensive backs he's trucked the last few weeks? And as far as the team goes, it sounds like we're going to have our best back-up running back, Mika'il McCall, available for the game this week. So the coaches might actually be comfortable giving meaningful carries to someone other than Coker.
Mr. Pessimist: DOESN'T MATTER 'CAUSE O'KEEFE WON'T GIVE HIM CARRIES LATE IN THE GAME.
Mr. Optimist: ...
Mr. Pessimist: HA! GOTCHA!
Mr. Optimist: Look, you'll get no argument from me: that playcalling at the end of the game last week was idiotic. Hopefully Kenny's back on his meds this week.
Mr. Pessimist: YEAH, SURE, SMART GUY. WHAT ABOUT THE DEFENSE, HUH?
Mr. Optimist: ...
Mr. Pessimist: HA! GOTCHA AGAIN!
Mr. Optimist: They played better for three quarters last week...
Mr. Pessimist: OH DON'T EVEN COME IN HERE WITH THAT WEAK SHIT. MINNESOTA'S OFFENSE IS A GODDAMN DISASTER ZONE AND THE IOWA D STILL FOLDED UP LIKE A THAI LADYBOY IN THE FOURTH QUARTER LAST WEEK. THEY'RE PUTRID.
Mr. Optimist: Denard's thrown 11 interceptions this year and he loves to embrace the "heave it and hope" approach to passing the ball. Iowa could come down with some of those jump balls.
Mr. Pessimist: IOWA's 8TH IN THE LEAGUE IN FORCING INTERCEPTIONS. THEY'VE ONLY GRABBED SIX ALL YEAR. THERE'S NO TYLER MF'ING SASH BACK THERE TO SAVE OUR BACON THIS YEAR.
Mr. Optimist: ... okay, even I can't sugarcoat the play of the defense. Good Iowa defenses gave up 28 points to Michigan the last few years. It would be the miracle of miracles if they managed to shut down Michigan's offense this week.
Mr. Pessimist: YEP, WHICH IS WHY WE'RE FUCKED.
Mr. Optimist: Look, this game is on the offense. If the Iowa offense that we've seen at most home games this year shows up -- as well as the Michigan defense that's shown up on the road most of the year -- we've got a puncher's shot.
Mr. Pessimist: YOU'RE HOPELESS, KOOL-AID MAN. MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT DENARD IS GONNA DO TO US. MICHIGAN 45, IOWA 21
Mr. Optimist: You need a new insult, guy. And LL Cool J? Seriously? I'm gonna go IOWA 38, MICHIGAN 35.
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I feel glad
that it was the Mr. Pessimist character that knew how it “folds up.”
/Team Optimist
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Nov 4, 2011 10:39 PM CDT up reply actions
You need to live a little Chazz
or, you know, watch the Hangover 2
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I'll admit.
I saw Hangovers 1 and 2 in the theatre.
I preferred the first one. The second one was just a bit too uncomfortable.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Nov 4, 2011 10:42 PM CDT up reply actions
After reading this...
I’d have to say I kind of side (ever so slightly) with Mr. Optimist. It just doesn’t feel like utter collapse time yet, and the staff and players have got to be feeling the heat this week. I can actually see Iowa getting healthy against Michigan, perhaps in the same style as against MSU last year following the Wisconsin loss. Then…then cue the November meltdown.
On the other hand, with a new coaching staff, Michigan is a bigger wild card than ever this year, so I can also see us getting blown out. That’s the true genius of Kirk Ferentz: you have to watch every game because you can’t take ANYTHING for granted ever.
by kingsbury_from_deep on Nov 4, 2011 2:50 PM CDT reply actions
Well, he couched Mr. Optimist as the more reasonable of the two
Vint may have written the article differently.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 4, 2011 5:55 PM CDT up reply actions
I tried not to favor one side too much more than the other.
I suppose it helps Mr. Optimist that he isn’t shouting all the time and that he gets to rebut a lot of Mr. Pessimist’s points, but I also don’t think there’s anything Mr. Pessimist says that isn’t true. And it probably would seem more balanced if I spent more time talking about the defensive stats, which are universally unfavorable to Iowa and would give Mr. Pessimist a lot of room to pump up his perspective. But this piece was already like 2000 words, so I wrapped it up.
It’s all spin, to some extent. People are free to take away from it what they like.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
You many not have intended to favor either side
But the shouting certainly favors one side.
Also, maybe this is a chicken-egg argument: I read it as you personally favoring optimism and that coming out unintentionally, though maybe that’s me siding with Mr. Optimist and reading that into your words.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 4, 2011 7:14 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm with chicken. I hate eggs.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Nov 4, 2011 7:17 PM CDT up reply actions
LL Cool J is certainly a weak-sauce insult!
"No I'm not going to 'limber up'. You ever see a lion stretching before it takes down a gazelle?"
Don't call it a comeback!
He’s been here for years.
"Sometimes the truth gets in the way of a good story" - KF
by The Bacon Explosion on Nov 4, 2011 3:06 PM CDT up reply actions
And his football experience is invaluable.
I mean, who can forget that game he had in the Pantheon Bowl?
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Nov 4, 2011 10:45 PM CDT up reply actions
Mr. Pessimist: I HAVE VISIONS OF THIS YEAR'S PITT GAME EXCEPT NO MIRACULOUS COMEBACK
question is how many Shoelace arm punts will Prater get burned by?
Go Hawks!!!
When are we adding LeftCoastHawk's pic to the "Authors" section?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Er, "TheBirdCult"
Sorry, I’m living in the past…JUST LIKE ALL OF US WHO STILL SUPPORT FERENTZ!
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Nov 4, 2011 5:35 PM CDT up reply actions
this is completely inaccurate
that mouthbreather Mr. Pessimist would never let that douchy Mr. Optimist ramble on like that. THE CAPS LOCKS IS FOR SCREEEEEAAAAMMINNNNNGGGG!
Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Nov 4, 2011 3:37 PM CDT reply actions
SPEAKING FOR KOOL-AID DRINKING HAWKEYE HOMER OPTIMISTS
WHY DID THE PESSIMIST GET ALL THE CAPS???? MOST OF THE PESSIMISTS THAT I KNOW TEND TO BE lowercase italic TYPES.
"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants
BECAUSE NOBODY SEEMS TO BE LISTENING TO US THIS WEEK
IOWA’S GONNA GET FUCKIN’ KILLED. BY 21 AT LEAST.
Probably. If the 4th qtr Pitt offense shows up they might pull this one out.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
Off topic
and I know KF has already poo pooed the idea, but I think this team needs a new look to possibly gets some new fire into these kids and the fans. Hey, everyone else is doing it….these are pretty sick, although the no “Gold Pants” would be sacrilegious to this site.
[IMG]http://i192.photobucket.com/albums/z318/SoleRebel34/HawkBlackOut.jpg[/IMG]
Or maybe the image knew better than to show itself.
Pass.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Nov 4, 2011 3:47 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
I really like helmets with the matte black finish
If I were going to do a “changed” uniform, I’d just do the matte black helmets and black pants and leave everything else the same.
I'm fine with the helmets, but the rest could be thrown out.
Besides, if we have to resort to this kind of gimmick to get our kids fired up, we should burn the whole thing down and start over.
"No I'm not going to 'limber up'. You ever see a lion stretching before it takes down a gazelle?"
Have you been around young people nowadays?
Yeah, in a perfect ‘old school world’ we wouldn’t have to resort to so called gimmicks to get the kids fired up to play football. But kids these days are very cognizant of ‘looking good’. I’d try anything right now to get some ‘swagger’ back into these guys.
I'd rather they change up the scheme and go balls-to-the-wall with their offensive playcalling
and blitz like crazy on every play on defense.
We’ve got some talent, and if we turn them loose they might get fired up enough to kick some ass.
Maybe we save the super-blitz D for Nebby? That’d be fun.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Nov 5, 2011 8:12 AM CDT up reply actions
I like it but I don't think this team needs gimmicks to get back on track.
I really like the idea of a matte black helmet.
BTW, OKState has 48 uniform combinations. There was an article in the KCStar that had a quote from one of the players that said they never know what they are going to wear until late in the week and that day is like Christmas. I would think that would be stressful.
Nah, they have equipment managers for that.
Twitterz: @EnergizerHawk
by EnergizerHawk on Nov 5, 2011 10:24 AM CDT up reply actions
There is one thing I will never tolerate from Iowa football
and that is a uniform change. Hayden Fry got special permission from the Steelers to use their uni design in 1978 and (apart from the banana peel affair, circa 1996?) they’ve not changed since. This team could crawl back into the primordial sludge of a one win season like 1999 and I wouldn’t (completely) bail so long as they kept their current uniforms. That and the tiger hawk (also ushered in by Fry in 1978) are our identity. That Mich./MSU game this year was an eyesore and, quite frankly, a crying shame, given that those schools have classic uniforms as well. The Big Ten schools should not be going down this stupid road. Here is what happened the last time we let some fad uniform designer (Apex was the brand name, if I recall correctly) try to ruin the greatest uniform in college football.
by kingsbury_from_deep on Nov 4, 2011 4:01 PM CDT up reply actions
I noticed that too.
He probably definitely deserved it.
by kingsbury_from_deep on Nov 4, 2011 4:10 PM CDT up reply actions
I maintain that the black apex jerseys
where fo real, yo.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Nov 4, 2011 11:14 PM CDT up reply actions
and Fran should repaint the Carver floor yellow.
Unrelated, but needed to get off my chest. Stupid Alford-era. Oh, and bring back the sweet i-basketball-w-a logo!
by kingsbury_from_deep on Nov 4, 2011 4:07 PM CDT up reply actions
Fourthed.
It’s so obvious that the black looks massively inferior to the yellow. And the unis are even worse. THIS WILL NOT STAND. Unless it does. In which case, I will do nothing.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Nov 5, 2011 9:04 AM CDT up reply actions
Not to get too nit-picky, but Nike is hardly a fad uniform designer.
Ugly uniform designer, absolutely. Fad, not so much.
"No I'm not going to 'limber up'. You ever see a lion stretching before it takes down a gazelle?"
I'll grant you Nike is not a fad...
but the whole monochromatic, matte finish thing will look absurd already ten years from now. Our uniforms, Penn State’s, Michigan’s, USC’s, Alabama’s, etc. are iconic and classic. They’ll never go out of style.
by kingsbury_from_deep on Nov 4, 2011 10:40 PM CDT up reply actions
This seems like Phil Steele's inner dialogue
And mine.
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Nov 4, 2011 3:52 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Alert
Mr. Optimist AKA “Suterman” has infiltrated BHGP, he has an “agenda” the glass is half full.
I am so confused!!! Who is a homer to listen to?????
"Make it tasteful, but dongier" - Blackheartnopants
by Kluginator on Nov 4, 2011 3:53 PM CDT reply actions 9 recs
Maybe this is too dramatic
but I feel like there’s more than just this season riding on tomorrow’s game. Last week’s game, and this week’s reactions to it, feel like the start of a turning point in the program. There’s always a lot of random “fire everyone” hollering after a bad loss but this week it felt a lot more serious to me than it has in the past. I think if we lose tomorrow the same way we always lose then that screaming is going to get a lot louder, and a little bit more justified.
For the record I think KF is good for Iowa and I’m not calling for his or anyone else’s head. I don’t even think we need wholesale changes in offensive or defensive philosophy. I just want to see some adjustments. I want to see the coaches realize that sometimes you have to just trust your kids to go out there and win the game for you. Take a risk and put them in a position to do something awesome instead of to just keep it close and not lose.
If we can do that, and we still get the shit kicked out of us, then fine. I’m just tired of the self-inflicted wounds.
"You start to get out of bed, you say, 'Oh, [expletive], I only got one leg on, I better get the other leg on.'" -- Norm Parker
I don't think you remember 2007 well enough
Between sucking on the field, City Boyz Inc., rape allegations, etc., that was such a shitstorm of a season and I remember LOTS of people thinking KF was on the verge of not losing a team, but the entire program.
This season was going to be challenging anyway, and there are some bad things going on, but it’s nowhere even close to 2007-bad.
Yep.
This seasons inconsistency has come down (so far) to attrition and injuries. If we can keep players around and healthy-newsflash-we are a much better team and have more room for error, because the odd walkon can provide a spark, but having a whole team of them turns out to be not so good. Not saying that all the players we lost were studs, but its really depth that kills.
by The KF Karate Chop on Nov 4, 2011 4:30 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Thanks, that was my immediate thought after reading nerdhawk's first sentence.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Nov 5, 2011 8:26 AM CDT up reply actions
I don't think THIS game will be determinative
but I do feel that way about the next four games are.
Torbee is right, we haven’t reached 2007-levels, yet. That was the end of a really bad three-year stretch where the team really under-performed; but even more, it was the off-field issues that had people up in arms.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
nerdhawk, keep in mind that this coaching staff, with this re-building team, is more interested in the players LEARNING for the future
and not SO concerned with wins
I know it’s amazing that there are coaches still out there like that (in today’s football landscape of WIN WIN WIN), but in a year or two, if the coaches teach like crazy, hopefully these young guys who are being thrown into the fire will turn into well-seasoned terror monsters and we’ll all be talking about what a genius KF is.
[Think about it, until a few years ago we almost always kept most freshmen and sophomores on the bench and put the older players on the field. So we wouldn’t have been seeing a Morris, Polish Hat, Kirksey/Hitchens, etc. until next year-ish. Think about what Kirksey might look like in two years, if he puts on 25-30 lbs. I’m hopeful that we are just getting a preview of good things to come.]
It’s a rebuild year. We knew it was coming (though it hasn’t turned out as we’d hoped… so far). We knew that Iowa had a down year every 3-5 years. However, if they keep getting better, week by week, we could still have something to cheer about this year. Here’s to hoping.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Nov 5, 2011 8:35 AM CDT up reply actions
In a rebuilding year
it becomes that more imperative that we win the games we’re supposed to win, because upsetting teams will be that much more rare with a young-ish team. THAT is what makes the losses to ISU and MInnesota so aggravating. Notice I don’t include the Penn State loss there? Because it was expected and they’re a better team than us. Hell, even losing to one inferior team might be acceptable, but to lose to BOTH ISU and Minnesota – plus require the greatest comeback in school history to beat a bad Pitt team at home – that’s a problem. And it is a problem that has carried over from 2010 and even before then, 2009 was the aberration, not the standard. Upsets are part of the game and will happen, what’s upset a lot of fans is that we are consistently being upset by vastly inferior teams, often multiple times a season. I, for one, am sick to death of Iowa being the season highlight reel for shitty players and teams like Steele Jantz and Minnesota.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
That's also true.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
"It's Northwestern," he explained. "A smart school."
-TMart on jNW reading signals
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Nov 10, 2011 8:16 PM CST up reply actions
BINGO!!!!
Oops, sorry, just practicing.
By the way, for no particular reason, I still think it’s a winnable game.
FOUR. THREE. COVER. TWO.
by Mr. Grizz on Nov 4, 2011 4:01 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
This bipoalrity
pretty much perfectly captures my feelings towards this game and towards this team (and in a way, towards the program as a whole). I really could see just about any outcome being equally plausible tomorrow. This is a weird team, and a weird season. Which, as I said in a previous thread, makes it kinda of a totally normal season. Which in itself is maddening, kinda supports Mr. Pessimist. Then again, Iowa really could come out tomorrow and put up 40-50 points and leave Michigan gasping two scores in the dust. Which supports Mr. Optimist.
Ugh.
Anyway, shit, whatever. Fuck it. Great write-up preview dealy, Ross.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
There is seriously not an outcome for the rest of the year that would shock me.
Not one.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Nov 4, 2011 5:32 PM CDT up reply actions
Minnesota winning the Legends division wouldn't shock you?
Because I believe that it is still theoretically possible for them to do so.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I meant for Iowa.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Nov 4, 2011 5:50 PM CDT up reply actions
Fair enough
And I figured as much, just wanted to fuck with you.
You know what really pisses me off about the Minnesota loss? The fact that I’ll have to look at your upside-down avatar for another 10 months.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
You're not alone with the avatar.
All the blood is rushing from Floyd’s piggy head and it’s just not fair.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Nov 4, 2011 6:57 PM CDT up reply actions
I think you'd be shocked by a 4-0 streak and an appearance in the BTT game
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 4, 2011 5:59 PM CDT up reply actions
No, I really wouldn't.
I also wouldn’t be shocked by an 0-4 finish.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Nov 4, 2011 6:57 PM CDT up reply actions
I agree--about this season
Iowa has played both far better and far worse than their actual talent level this season with the exception of the defense. Our defense has been mediocre at best against teams that are far from offensive juggernauts.
MICHIGAN 45, IOWA 21 or IOWA 38, MICHIGAN 35
both seem plausible because it involved us giving up at least 35 points.
Bravo
I want rational discourse, not people claiming to be rational debaters while demonizing any opposition as torch-wielding, fire-crazed zealots or kool-aid drinking sycophants. -- RossWB
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Nov 4, 2011 4:32 PM CDT reply actions
I guess the most optimistic I can be is: hey, new coach!
Maybe Brady Hoke hasn’t figured out that Iowa is just going to do the same thing as last year and the year before and the year before that. It does seem to take new coaches a couple years to figure out that Iowa really is that predictable.
Bethany: Were they sent to Hell?
Metatron: Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history.
Except, you know, Jerry Kill.
He figured it out pretty damn fast, I’d say.
"No I'm not going to 'limber up'. You ever see a lion stretching before it takes down a gazelle?"
Doesn't count.
He had already coached against Ferentz several times at NIU.
Bethany: Were they sent to Hell?
Metatron: Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history.
If, by several, you mean twice?
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Nov 4, 2011 11:24 PM CDT up reply actions
Crap, more research done.
Iowa usually loses the 1st game against a new head coach, wins the 2nd; unless of course, that coach is doomed to be fired.
WE ARE SO FUCKED!
Bethany: Were they sent to Hell?
Metatron: Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history.
Half full, half empty.
We still need a refill.
E pluribus Iowa
by Subtle Hustle on Nov 4, 2011 5:01 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs
yeahhh
Mr. Pessimist: EXCUSES ARE LIKE—
boobs on Mardi Gras… only the ugly ones really come out
and that's another Hawkeye first down... EHAWW!!
Girls Gone Wild has lied to me?
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 4, 2011 6:00 PM CDT up reply actions
yes...
I’ve even been in the Girls Gone Wild trailer on mardi gras…. wasn’t that impressed…
and that's another Hawkeye first down... EHAWW!!
The creepy guys looking to sell nudey pics you gave them for free didn't impress? Shocking.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 4, 2011 6:07 PM CDT up reply actions
seriously
the per mar people (not the student with orange vests… the people with bright yellow/green vests) who police the parking lots on game days REALLY piss me off.
and that's another Hawkeye first down... EHAWW!!
yeah
but I don’t think most people would know who I’m talking about if I said whelan …
I work at parking and transportation :p
and that's another Hawkeye first down... EHAWW!!
RossWB is Tyler Durden
Or Robert Paulson. One or the other.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
Ross brilliant as usual.
I am ready for the game
1. Why are we giving a 6 yard cushion on a 3rd and 5
2. Coker is kicking their ass why are they only passing
3. Three time outs and 2 min left in the half why are we taking a knee?
4. Just tackle the bastard its called tackle football
I will just post numbers for the game
Didn't Pat Harty used to do Mr Pessimist/ Mr Optimist columns regularly?
I’m going to just assume that the idea is stolen from him, then. Ross must be quite the SBN hack to use ideas from Pat Harty. I fear a Hartylanche will strike soon.
Maybe Ross IS Pat Harty
Have you ever seen them in the same place at the same time?? Just sayin’…
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
And there was the very similar defensive defection articles...
I think you may be on to something.
by The Mexican't on Nov 4, 2011 11:02 PM CDT up reply actions
I WILL BAN YOU TOO AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU CALL IT A HATE CRIME
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I really should ban the shit out of you for that.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I think we can all agree
that a Ross-a-lanche/WB-party is way better than a Harty-lanche/Harty-party.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Nov 5, 2011 4:39 AM CDT up reply actions
You're all talk!
You haven’t got the guts to pull the trigger Pat er Ross!
/puts down beer, says “Hey y’all watch this!”
//suffers the BHGP-equivalent of dying a Redneck death
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Harty definitely
wrote columns that had dueling sentences.
Like this.
And also this.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Nov 4, 2011 11:26 PM CDT up reply actions
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