Introducing BHGP Bingo For Iowa Football
The world didn't end with Iowa's loss to Minnesota on Saturday. In fact, the football season didn't even end -- there are still four more games to go before the curtains are drawn on the 2011 regular season. Iowa even still technically has a chance to win its division and head to the Big Ten Championship Game (don't laugh -- it's true). But we here at BHGP know that you might need a little bit more than that to regain the pep in your step for Iowa football. So we bring you the proud debut of BHGP Bingo! Just print it out and play along each Saturday for the next four weeks. Remember: just because Iowa football isn't a winner doesn't mean that you can't be one anyway.
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This game will be over by the end of the first quarter Saturday.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
1/2 of these spots are just automatic fill-ins
i think it should be black-out wins.
Burt Reynolds is my spirit guide.
What's the over/under on Denard's all purpose yards?
"And after it was all over, he took us in the house and served us pancakes... pancakes." - Charlie Murphy
by Podolak Pimpin' on Nov 1, 2011 9:27 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Over.
Just… over.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Nov 1, 2011 10:45 PM CDT up reply actions
about 1.5 quarters
/jokes from September
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 1, 2011 10:51 PM CDT up reply actions
I am so bringing this with me to the game saturday
should be fun to have in the student section
i haz a sad
He sired a baseball team... An orchestra, if you count the bastards!
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Nov 1, 2011 12:37 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
seriously, this is the most depressing post-loss week i've had in quite a while.
Burt Reynolds is my spirit guide.
by Ill Jukes on Nov 1, 2011 12:38 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
Another humorous post
That isn’t humorous due to its dead on accuracy. FML.
BTW, are we sure that Kirk isn’t actually filling this chart out when he’s “taking notes” on the sideline?
by mikjones24 on Nov 1, 2011 12:43 PM CDT via mobile reply actions 3 recs
Really glad you can supersize this. Thanks, Roswell.
Perhaps my best years are gone... but I wouldn't want them back. Not with the fire in me now. No, I wouldn't want them back.
The entire diagonal from bottom-left to upper-right seems like a given
though at least we have to wait until the 4th quarter to fill it all in.
by Dr. Hawkeye, Ph.D. on Nov 1, 2011 1:04 PM CDT reply actions
This just hits too close to the mark
I’m sad. I’m hurt. And I don’t know what to do. No comment!
by Captain America (aka Steve Rogers) on Nov 1, 2011 1:11 PM CDT reply actions
Thank god
I always felt a little old playing this

by hawk6894 on Nov 1, 2011 1:17 PM CDT reply actions 19 recs
Excellent.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Is the a travel size...
… that works ON THE ROAD?!
by Lukateake on Nov 1, 2011 1:41 PM CDT up reply actions 4 recs
Not for Vandyland. You needed Parstanzi for that.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 1, 2011 1:44 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
Welp, looks like at least a couple more days of venting.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
This bingo is ALL FUCKED UP
Every square should read “Kirk Ferentz chews gum stoically.”
Get with the fucking program!
Never *question* Bruce Dickinson!
http://www.thebirdcult.net
In Support of the Coach
I’m going to sit in the stands and chew gum stoically and look past the team. Periodically, I’ll make a note or give a clap. Everyone around me will know I’m passionate about seeing the team win.
#winning
Never *question* Bruce Dickinson!
http://www.thebirdcult.net
by The Bird Cult on Nov 1, 2011 3:24 PM CDT up reply actions
How long until snark becomes outright hatred?
I’m afraid and somewhat depressed.
Tom Bradley for offensive coordinator.
by ReadingRambler on Nov 1, 2011 2:27 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs
It has only been three days.
I think we’re all still a bit depressed. Looking ahead to this weekend’s game doesn’t help either.
I'm guessing about the time we get blown out by OMHR in three weeks.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
by RossWB on Nov 1, 2011 2:34 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
I don't know Ross
I think its pretty much started, its like a long freight train – takes a while to build up speed, but once its a rollin’, watch out…
Never *question* Bruce Dickinson!
http://www.thebirdcult.net
by The Bird Cult on Nov 1, 2011 3:25 PM CDT up reply actions
Honestly, Rambler, I don't think the Iowa fanbase as a whole has ever been as sold on Kirk
As it was on Hayden, even at the end when it was obvious it was time for him to go.
The whole weird and wacky way in which he was hired still leaves a bad taste in a lot of mouths; the fact that he worked for what – most of the first two years without a contract (don’t know the exact length) because they couldn’t agree on terms. Its not that he’s not Hayden Fry, because he’s not. But there is a sizable %age of the Iowa fan base that probably feels since we didn’t get Stoops, why didn’t get someone besides Kirk?
And a lot of us still feel we’d have been better off with Stoops – not just not-ever-played-football people like me but people who actually played and know a hell of a lot more about the game than I do. One of my best friends has a son who played some college ball and is a high school ref and he’s never liked Kirk; he has maintained for years Bobby would have been a far better choice and that Bowlsby really fucked up.
Never *question* Bruce Dickinson!
http://www.thebirdcult.net
by The Bird Cult on Nov 1, 2011 3:34 PM CDT up reply actions
In other words, some of the Iowa fan base feels like Kirk jacks us around
And gets away with it, because we are “afraid we won’t get another good coach”. Its stupid; we have had a decent coach program for the better part of two decades now, compared to past history, we’ve got the financial resources to hire a name coach, so why do we sit here like a trembling puppy with issues about to shit on the carpet because its afraid its master will beat it for no reason?
Never *question* Bruce Dickinson!
http://www.thebirdcult.net
by The Bird Cult on Nov 1, 2011 3:36 PM CDT up reply actions
bowlsby had more fuckups
than carter has little pills
I get this creepy feeling that part of the equation
has disappeared from the four million dollar man
The sad puppy dog look talking with dolph every week
the geez that’s football
no longer has the luster
Long Live the Pellican Whore - like FOREVER
Well, we can rectify it and get a Stoops now.
Even though it would be Mike. I guess it’s like going from Oreos to those shitty store brand knock offs but hey its still a cookie at the end of the day right. What were we talking about again?
"And after it was all over, he took us in the house and served us pancakes... pancakes." - Charlie Murphy
by Podolak Pimpin' on Nov 1, 2011 9:35 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
I think he was making a joke about the fact that McCarney was the big rumor for new DC a few years ago.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Dumb luck strikes again.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Kirk Ferentz's RISK?
The playing board:

There’s no way to win, you just play to not lose.
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields
by rockyh on Nov 1, 2011 2:46 PM CDT up reply actions 13 recs
Holy shit that's great
"And after it was all over, he took us in the house and served us pancakes... pancakes." - Charlie Murphy
by Podolak Pimpin' on Nov 1, 2011 9:22 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
You made me laugh
in a time where there has not been a lot of laughing. This loss will not go away for me, I pretend to be over it but c’mon the onside kick?
/sobs
/wishes Bobby Stoops wouldn’t have played us like a deck of cards
"The more I get hit, the more they git hit" - Marcus Coker
Is that Castillo there in front row?
That is risky.
by GaryDolphinSafeTuna on Nov 1, 2011 4:31 PM CDT up reply actions
Ok, so these fake games
are starting to make me feel better. Keep it coming kids.
by Captain America (aka Steve Rogers) on Nov 1, 2011 3:03 PM CDT reply actions
CAPTAIN STEVE?????
You got a lot of nerve showing your face here, sir.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 1, 2011 3:10 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
He has an agenda
The answer? Aliens. Or not aliens.
by Blackheartnopants on Nov 1, 2011 7:19 PM CDT up reply actions
don't confuse me with that turd sandwich
Different guy here
by Captain America (aka Steve Rogers) on Nov 2, 2011 9:45 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Yes I know. Cheap joke.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 2, 2011 6:42 PM CDT up reply actions
Geez. This lych mob seems to be intensifying
I think I might excuse myself from the internets for a while. Its getting pretty thick around here. And pretty depressing.
I wouldn't say its depressing at all
The stuff that’s being discussed is a culmination of long-term trends that people have seen in the program since 2005, and the trends haven’t been addressed. These are things that people feel aren’t systemic but are a direct result of a coaching staff that can’t adjust to changing game conditions. The damn program has been built, but like all good software it works better if there’s flexibility built in – and there appears to be none, which keeps resulting in the same fucking blue screen crashes over and over regardless of what you’re running on the computer.
Never *question* Bruce Dickinson!
http://www.thebirdcult.net
by The Bird Cult on Nov 1, 2011 3:38 PM CDT up reply actions
I think this post
is a great example of gallows humor
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
And,
I think it gets worse before it gets better. From the way Morehouse’s column about today’s press conference reads, Ferentz wasn’t exactly open and effusive.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
That bad?
Never *question* Bruce Dickinson!
http://www.thebirdcult.net
by The Bird Cult on Nov 1, 2011 4:02 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm waiting til he puts up the video from the presser to say anything definitive
This is one where you will want to see Ferentz’s body language and hear the actual words said, not MasCasa’s paraphrasing (not that I think Morehouse would do anything to deliberately or maliciously misquote Ferentz, just that one person summarizing the words of another will inevitably run into issues with filtering/editing).
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
At this point (if they haven't always been), KF pressers are basically one big rorschach test for the fanbase.
The “haters” can interpret the responses to fit their POV and the “kool-aid drinkers” can interpret the responses to fit their POV.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Wait, did you just call Ferentz Rorschach?
by mikjones24 on Nov 1, 2011 5:25 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon.
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields
I think the ancients described Armageddon as back-to-back losses to shit-awful Minnesota teams.
But maybe my memory is faulty.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Dante's 9th and last circle of hell (where Satan resides)
is the coldest and darkest of all of hell, populated by traitors such as Judas, and Brutus and Cassius. This is clearly a metaphor for Minnesota and their turning against Heavenly Iowa
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 2, 2011 6:49 PM CDT up reply actions
Pffff. Typical hater response.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Nov 1, 2011 6:19 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm really kind of enjoying it, actually.
It makes what would be a shit-sucking dayterror or gloom bearable and even entertaining.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Nov 1, 2011 6:18 PM CDT up reply actions
Well I know that you are in your wheelhouse BC, with this
meltdown. I’m a glass is half full kind of guy – head in the clouds – whatever. I mean hell, I think Iowa beats Michigan saturday so I’m in the wrong state of mind to be hanging around.
I'll be in my Happy Place if you need me
LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA
Is Julie Bowen in lingerie and holding pitchers of beer in yours as well?

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
by HoyaGoon on Nov 1, 2011 4:00 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
Isn't she in everyone's?
"West Texas seems to be full of fake boobs providing a comfortable shade for well-developed pot bellies" - Lycurgus (06/24/2011)
by BStylin Hawkye on Nov 1, 2011 4:31 PM CDT up reply actions
Which one was she: Virginia Venet, Veronica Vavricheck, or Vicki Valencourt?
Ah Sandler, always going back to the same wells.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 1, 2011 10:56 PM CDT up reply actions
Happy places are good
but I was thinking of going to my quiet place to punchdance out my frustration.
Hot Rod references by me in 2 days, I think I better retire.
[[COMMENT_CHILDREN_TOKEN]]#8220;Going to my quiet place to punchdance out my frustration”: great new euphemism for “masterbating” in one’s mom’s basement
"Hi, I'm Bob Executive. Which way to business?"
by IPeeBlackAndGold on Nov 1, 2011 4:54 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Say huh?
Does everyone else see COMMENT_CHILDREN_TOKEN, or is my browser not playing nice with SBN again? I’m not sure where that came from; I tried to use “[[COMMENT_CHILDREN_TOKEN]]#8221; and “[[COMMENT_CHILDREN_TOKEN]]#8221; to indicate my PS and PPS…
Sigh, the interwebz are hard [turns on AM radio, dances the Charleston, works in victory garden]
"Hi, I'm Bob Executive. Which way to business?"
by IPeeBlackAndGold on Nov 1, 2011 5:13 PM CDT up reply actions
Aw hell, I quit.
"Hi, I'm Bob Executive. Which way to business?"
by IPeeBlackAndGold on Nov 1, 2011 5:17 PM CDT up reply actions
The internet sees through you

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 1, 2011 5:25 PM CDT up reply actions
Now that is a fascinating SBN fuck up.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
How many do you need to purchase an entire child?
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Nov 1, 2011 6:21 PM CDT up reply actions
Wait a minute, if we are all using the same card does that make us all winners?
Or maybe it makes all of us losers.
This game could turn into the Hellraiser cube
The answer? Aliens. Or not aliens.
by Blackheartnopants on Nov 1, 2011 7:22 PM CDT up reply actions
Ross great job on the game.... agree with the person that said it has to be a black out game... and I think it would make a great drinking game.
I am also of a mind that there had better be a blood letting of assistant coaches at the end of this year because this shit is getting old.
Kirk Ferentz Still the State’s Highest Paid Employee
An unofficial poll of Iowa City residents walking down Clinton Street turned out like this:
Four people supported paying Ferentz $3.86 million in 2011. Four people opposed it. Two were indifferent, and one person dropped an expletive.
Thanks for the humor KCRG
by DJK's bongwater on Nov 1, 2011 10:09 PM CDT reply actions
40% support it?
I’m one of the ‘apologists’ and even I think that’s clearly too much money
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Nov 1, 2011 10:44 PM CDT up reply actions
Even worse
Is that todd lickliter is still getting paid more than fran.
by The KF Karate Chop on Nov 2, 2011 7:34 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Hey

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields
by rockyh on Nov 2, 2011 12:42 PM CDT up reply actions 3 recs
I never get that card
I usually go to jail every time
by Captain America (aka Steve Rogers) on Nov 3, 2011 9:44 AM CDT up reply actions
Reading all these comments...
You’d think we’re 0-6! You’re all about as whiny as PSU trying to explain a loss to Iowa, good lord…
The loss to Minnesota sucks, but if we were to fire the entire coaching staff today, it still wouldn’t fix the problem that our defense is VERY DEPLETED. How about we hope and pray that we can find some magical solution, and get a few more wins. Leave the bitching and complaining for the off season, when we have no football to watch.
Boom, roasted...






















