Iowa vs Minnesota Preview: A Photo Essay
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Oct 28, 2011 1:05 PM CDT
in Iowa Hawkeyes Football
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Superb!
FREE FLOYD!!!
"No I'm not going to 'limber up'. You ever see a lion stretching before it takes down a gazelle?"
Is it bad I had to check Wikipedia to re-familiarize myself with the nursery rhyme?
Very awesome. Piggy loves Arby’s.
"Let me finish or I will hammerpunch your clavicle." -Steve Youngblood
Wow I'm slow
I didn’t get it until I read this.
by DJK's bongwater on Oct 28, 2011 1:30 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
It's meta (or something).
And it’s a beautiful thing.
"TAYLOR MARTINEZ IS AIDS ON TWO FEET"
-@DanBeebe
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 1:35 PM CDT up reply actions
It took me a second as well
I kept waiting for the picture underneath the cop to load when it clicked.
FLOYD COMES HOME TOMORROW!!! WE MUST RESCUE HIM FROM THAT HELLHOLE!!!
by Hank Thrasher on Oct 28, 2011 1:48 PM CDT up reply actions
Oooooh, new sig.
"TAYLOR MARTINEZ IS AIDS ON TWO FEET"
-@DanBeebe
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 1:47 PM CDT reply actions
I'll try again?
"TAYLOR MARTINEZ IS AIDS ON TWO FEET"
-@DanBeebe
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 2:30 PM CDT up reply actions
Yay, I think it works now (!???).
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 9:49 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yay, this is kinda like masturbation.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 9:50 PM CDT up reply actions
And once again it pays to read the tags
gophers spread aids, golden gopher shower = WIN (so long as I’m not on the receiving end)
I was sad that this was the only post found under that tag.
"TAYLOR MARTINEZ IS AIDS ON TWO FEET"
-@DanBeebe
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 2:24 PM CDT up reply actions
I totally agree
The tags are very good this week.
Hail to Kirk Ferentz the First and to the "Iowa Magna Carta"
TOUCHDOWN IOWA! TOUCHDOWN IOWA! - Gary Dolphin
I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! - Jim Zabel
by Bloodpunch's Barbasol on Oct 28, 2011 3:05 PM CDT up reply actions
Nice one
Hey, does Iowa now have a new little moustache ride cheering them on? Ride fans wanna know!
Not yet
False alarm. Monday is the day.
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Oct 28, 2011 2:13 PM CDT up reply actions
My wife just read looked at this post (which she never does)
Her: “Um, why the fuck are people talking about me peeing on the floor?”
Me: “They follow me on Twitter.”
Her: “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING ON TWITTER?”
Me: “Um…..nothing.”
So, if my account no longer exists tomorrow you know why.
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Oct 28, 2011 3:00 PM CDT up reply actions
My wife said the same thing during her pregnancy.
She clearly doesn’t realize that sharing is the best part.
by The Mexican't on Oct 28, 2011 3:20 PM CDT up reply actions
Congrats man!
And good luck with the Twitter account.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Oct 28, 2011 4:59 PM CDT up reply actions
Congratulations on making it through the false alarm.
Those CAN be worse than the real thing (for the dad) in some ways.
"TAYLOR MARTINEZ IS AIDS ON TWO FEET"
-@DanBeebe
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 2:27 PM CDT up reply actions
Meh.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 28, 2011 5:55 PM CDT up reply actions
Hey don't ruin it.
He’ll never know what hit him.
Isn’t that what dads are supposed to do to each other?
/ki
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 9:52 PM CDT up reply actions
MONDAY?!
Dammit. How am I supposed to sabotage your fantasy roster if you’re free until Monday. THIS IS HORSESHIT.
by The Mexican't on Oct 28, 2011 2:45 PM CDT up reply actions
You mexican't beat me.
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Oct 28, 2011 3:03 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Very nice.
Though don’t be surprised if you take some heat for that one.
by The Mexican't on Oct 28, 2011 3:19 PM CDT up reply actions
CyHawk is Carlos Mencia?
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 9:55 PM CDT up reply actions
Ned Holness is much less racist
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 28, 2011 10:08 PM CDT up reply actions
Rec for Arby's
I’m so hungry i could eat Arby’s! Gotta love South Park
You'll figure out what to do, for god's sake your The Boat! - JD Scrubs
That was The Simpsons, you fool.
In the “Lord of the Flies” spoof.
by Lukateake on Oct 28, 2011 2:27 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Most people don't know where Arby's got its name.
Took me a while until I figured it out.
Here’s another one: What does the alphabet and the song “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” have in common?
"Apparently, riding Joe Paterno like a small horse is FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT!"
by The Director on Oct 28, 2011 2:32 PM CDT up reply actions
ABCs
and Twinkle^2 have the same melody… pretty much the same as Baa Baa Black Sheep.
Will they please paint the damn water tower?
by Counciltucky Fried Tigerhawk on Oct 28, 2011 2:51 PM CDT up reply actions
Ah! Vous dirai-je, Maman!
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields
I think I just got the Arby's thing.
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Oct 28, 2011 3:02 PM CDT up reply actions
It's like if you named a brothel "Beejays"
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 28, 2011 5:54 PM CDT up reply actions
"Ah jeez hon, ya got Arby's all over me!"
"I've never seen a supernova, but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova it'll light up the night sky." - Philip J. Fry
Max. MAXWELL! You're home!
“Oh…cool.”
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Oct 28, 2011 2:18 PM CDT reply actions
Floyd in 28 hours...
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Oct 28, 2011 2:38 PM CDT up reply actions 7 recs
"Thanks, Mr. V"
Executive Producer - WRNL TV
by CyHawk on Oct 28, 2011 3:15 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
If there was every a pig
that deserved to be made into bacon, it’s that annoying bastard
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 28, 2011 3:55 PM CDT up reply actions
Boo. I find that commercial funny.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 28, 2011 5:13 PM CDT up reply actions
HFMR, why are you considering killing all golfers?
by Norm Parker's Amputated Toes on Oct 28, 2011 2:28 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
you've never seen caddyshack?
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I think he's expressing surprise that there actually might be a Caddyshack reference he doesn't get.
Because yeah, not having seen Caddyshack is like not having ever seen the sun.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Oct 29, 2011 9:44 AM CDT up reply actions
I've only seen it through a pinhole projection onto another piece of paper
Caddyshack, that is.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 29, 2011 10:40 AM CDT up reply actions
Holy shit, this is great.
When I got to the house I was like, uhhhhh….it’s a clue, but I’m too stupid…..don’t understand….then the Arby’s hit and WTF does that mean, there’s roast beef, not pork….then I thought my computer at work was fucking me up on the blank one. I even clicked on it to make it bigger to see if the picture wasn’t loading writing. Took me a while, but the roast beef was what pulled it together for me.
Bravo!
White Horn Gold Pants
GET THAT PIG!
#FREEFLOYD
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
by HoyaGoon on Oct 28, 2011 2:57 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
A Story
An Iowa graduate decided to move to a lake house in Minnesota. He drove down to get groceries every couple of weeks and had to pick up his mail from the local post office since they didn’t deliver way out where he lives.
After six months of being totally alone, there is a knock on the door. He opened it to find a large bearded local standing outside.
"Name’s Floyd, your neighbor from the next lake over. Having a party Saturday; thought you’d like to come."
This sounded pretty acceptable and he agrees to the invitation.
"Gotta warn you, though: There might be some drinkin."
The Iowa grad allows as that would be OK.
"More ’n likely that there’ll be some fighting, too."
Even that sounded tolerable after six months of living like a hermit.
"I’ve even seen some kissin’ at these parties."
That sounded just fine since the Iowan hadn’t spent more than a few minutes with a woman since he moved up to Minnesota.
Just as Floyd was leaving, the Iowan looks up and asks, "Well, what should I wear to this party?"
Floyd turned back around and said, "Whatever you want . . . just going to be the two of us!"
Nice
Wasn’t that from Mad Men? Minus the pig of course.
by mikjones24 on Oct 28, 2011 3:19 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
I won't give up
Blowing us in TCF
With Apologies to Bob Dylan
(Minnejota’s premier song writer)
(sung to the tune of "Blowin in the wind"
Adult Content – Language
How many times must Minnesota play,
before you call it a win?
How many times must the goal posts come down,
before they Gophers give in?
And how many lousy offense schemes does it take,
before Tim Brewster gets canned?
The answer my friend is blowing us in TCF,
the answer is blowing us in TCF.
How many years can the Gophers desist,
from scoring more than they give?
How many years can Jerry Kill exist,
before he’s sent back to the MAC?
And how many times can the Goophers decree,
the repeat of fifty eight will set them free?
The answer my friend is blowing us in TCF,
the answer is blowing us in TCF.
How many times must a man look up,
before he sees 55-0?
And how many ears must one man have,
before he can hear the Gophers cry ?
And how games will they lose,
Before their goalposts belong to the Hawkeyes
The answer my friend is blowing us in TCF,
the answer is blowing us in TCF.
Long Live the Pellican Whore - like FOREVER
Why are we all getting blown in TCF?
Is Lois Feldman making a special guest appearance?
Because Minnesota is sucking?
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 28, 2011 5:14 PM CDT up reply actions
Don't you hate when you have to explain it?
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 10:00 PM CDT up reply actions
My joke fell flat. Apologies to OhioHawk's brilliance.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 28, 2011 10:09 PM CDT up reply actions
Not you actually.
But I wasn’t trying to be mean, so I’ll just back away now.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 29, 2011 10:54 AM CDT up reply actions
Looking through some old bookmarks, I was surprised to see this gem is still online:
Metrodome Delight (MP3 Link within the page content)
"I've never seen a supernova, but if it's anything like my old Chevy Nova it'll light up the night sky." - Philip J. Fry
The Hawkeye Dance
I’ll eat up all your crackers and your licorice
hey yo fat girl, c’mere—are ya ticklish?
Yeah, I called ya fat.
Look at me, I’m skinny
It never stopped me from gettin’ busy
I’m a freak
I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Metrodome bathroom
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields
It hurts
that our defense is so lousy that you expect the tire fire up North to score 4 times.
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
If he hadn't just done all that running he woulda broke M'queis into fourths.
Lucky for Minny, JB was winded.
(God, I so hope this prediction actually comes true, though Gray can remain in one piece as far as I’m concerned cause I’m a pacifist.)
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 10:04 PM CDT up reply actions
As a father of 3 kids under 7 years
this one is right in my wheelhouse. Love it.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
Wow. I read the post, then read the comments, then thought "what the fuck, why don't I get this yet?!".
Then I got it. Long week.
Free Floyd
FREE FLOYD!
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 10:05 PM CDT up reply actions
Our Heisman Trophy winner was more recent than your Heisman Trophy winner.
Great work, HFMR. I chortled.
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Oct 28, 2011 5:27 PM CDT reply actions
Yeah and Minnesota
abused Ozzie Simmons more recently than you abused Jack Trice. Minnesota: A Legacy of Hate-Motivated Play!
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 28, 2011 5:41 PM CDT up reply actions
Yeah! And Luke Witte, too!
Wait, what?
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Oct 28, 2011 5:44 PM CDT up reply actions
Carson Palmer: the most undeserving Heisman winner since Rashaan Salaam
In my heart, Brad Banks and Larry Johnson shared it in 02
GO IOWA AWESOME, now and forever, unless PSU sees them in the B1G CG
Beat Illinois
by ckmneon on Oct 29, 2011 9:05 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
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