Here's the Thing: HATE WEEK
by Patrick Vint on Oct 28, 2011 5:54 PM CDT
in Iowa Hawkeyes Football
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Hello, Goldy.
You thought you could get rid of me, didn't you? You thought you could just change stadiums and coaches and presidents and we would just leave you alone, that you could remove the object of our scorn and send the hatred with him to the sidelines of the FX Game of the Week. You may have exorcised Tim Brewster and his parade of coordinators from your program and replaced him with a furry little man with lip hair and Midwestern ruggedness, but you haven't bought our sympathy. You're still Minnesota. We're still Iowa. You have our pig, and we're coming to take it back.
You say you hate Iowa, but your hate is bred from envy, from lust, from looking south for 30 years and wondering why you can't do what Iowa does. The answer to that question lies within you, Gophers, in your weakness, your demand for immediate gratification. You watched Kirk Ferentz be paraded off your field on the shoulders that had pummeled you into submission, with a rose in hand, and responded by hiring a huckster. You watched Robert Gallery and wanted one of those, not realizing that Robert Gallerys and Shonn Greenes and Amari Spieveys are the result of patience and growth and cultivation only when mature. Now, as your prized recruits flounder, another generation of Iowa-developed players -- players who Brewster wouldn't even consider recruiting -- are going to steamroll you again. Amari Spievey is now Shaun Prater. Shonn Greene is now Marcus Coker. And Robert Gallery has been replaced by Riley Reiff (our Scout dot com player of the week) (/makes cash register-handle-pulling motion). You can replace the used car salesman with his complete opposite, but your new coach can't change that basic component of your constitution that ensures that you are too impatient to ever be good. The conductor may have changed, but your shitty pop song remains the same.
You can continue to hate Iowa in your superficial, envious, XXXL homemade t-shirt sort of way. You can keep parading Floyd around to every high school and county fair in the state, implicitly acknowledging that you won't have the opportunity again anytime soon. You can keep calling for the firing of your new coach because he has the audacity to say your program isn't any good. You can take all of that denial and ignorance, roll it up in a little ball of hate, and send it our way.
Because yes, we hate you. We hate you right fucking back. We hate you because you still chant "WHO HATES IOWA" while losing to South Dakota State. We hate you because your endless Floyd parade only proves that you've never been here before and don't know how to act like it. We hate you because you're Minnesota, and we're Iowa, and no matter what you do to make your program and yourselves more likeable, you still have goalposts and you still have our pig, and they belong to us.
Tomorrow, we take back what is ours. We'll take our pig, and we'll take our goalposts, and we'll take our seats near the field during the final minutes of another Iowa romp in your stadium, and if you're lucky we won't rip out the seats and sack the place on our way out of town. Tomorrow, we hate, and there's not a thing you can do to stop it.
Free Floyd. Free the hate.
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I have no administrator rights...
But I’m almost positive talking in Klingon will draw the banhammer.
The answer? Aliens. Or not aliens.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 28, 2011 7:15 PM CDT up reply actions
I'm sure the lifetime
of celibacy is punishment enough
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
by HoyaGoon on Oct 28, 2011 9:57 PM CDT up reply actions 8 recs
nuqDaq 'oH puchpa''e'
(copied from something I googled… look it up, you’ll lol)
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields
Make a desert and call it victory...
#FreeFloyd
The answer? Aliens. Or not aliens.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 28, 2011 6:17 PM CDT reply actions
Tastes kind of dry
I’d recommend going a la mode with it.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
by HoyaGoon on Oct 28, 2011 9:58 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
This is what well formed hate looks like
Posts like this prove they really are our biggest rivals. The hate posts for the other programs (jNWU, ISU) may be harsher on the surface, but this is methodic and pure disdain. Well done.
And for the record, I made it 52 seconds into that shitty song and had to close it before I started breaking things.
"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research." - Albert Einstein
"We are Iowans, for the most part if you tell us to do something we’ll do it. It’s not like we are from South Carolina." - Carfino'sWay
by 6 seconds of hell on Oct 28, 2011 6:22 PM CDT reply actions
Yeah, me too.
Saw the title, closed the tab, died a little inside.
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull." - W.C. Fields
"you still have goalposts and you still have our pig, and they belong to us"
This is sweet literary necture.
White Horn Gold Pants
by DM_Purp on Oct 28, 2011 6:49 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
So true, they hate us so much because deep down inside
they want to be us…that’s why I can’t hate them, they don’t deserve my hate.
NO
It’s like hating on the fat kid next door that keep shitting in your bushes. Fuck that guy!
White Horn Gold Pants
this
Haha wow that’s terrific hate. This guy is with the program
by sailorjerry on Oct 29, 2011 10:44 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
If we dont beat them by 55 points i consider this weekend a failure
they took floyd……….FLOYD DAMMIT!
screw taking their goalposts, i want to take their roof
"Your spelling and grammar errors belie a seriously skilled thought process"- therealCatnuts
by justsomehawkeyefan on Oct 28, 2011 6:55 PM CDT reply actions
*psst*
it’s an open air stadium now
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 28, 2011 7:11 PM CDT up reply actions
So that's why these seats are so choice ...
The answer? Aliens. Or not aliens.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 28, 2011 7:13 PM CDT up reply actions
Tomorrow
Minneapolis – 50s, mostly sunny, wind at 10 mph
For comparison, State College – 33, 6-8 inches of snow
It’s going to be a great day for a game, I’m jealous.
That being said, I’m not going to lie, I’ll be switching back and force watching PSU. Snow games are a blast to watch
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 28, 2011 7:21 PM CDT up reply actions
I like to think they didn't take Floyd so much as we left him there.
That way he’ll appreciate what he had in Iowa City and won’t go running away anytime soon.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 28, 2011 9:22 PM CDT up reply actions
Detachable Floyd.
I really don’t like to be without my Floyd for too long, it makes me feel like less of a fan.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 28, 2011 9:35 PM CDT up reply actions
I have known that song for 20 years
and I never knew the band was “King Missile”
Learn something new every day.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 28, 2011 9:57 PM CDT up reply actions
Jesus Was Way Cool
is a good one by them as well.
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 29, 2011 12:47 AM CDT up reply actions
Showing my age
I loved that song when I was at Iowa
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 28, 2011 10:08 PM CDT up reply actions
My first girlfriend loved that song.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 28, 2011 10:42 PM CDT up reply actions
I played that at the close of my radio show freshman year.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Oct 28, 2011 11:28 PM CDT up reply actions
What was the show called? When did you air?
"Gophers are filthy digging rats"
-one of HFMR's many amazing tags
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 29, 2011 12:44 AM CDT up reply actions
I am also interested in this
I listened to a shitload of KRUI
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 29, 2011 12:58 AM CDT up reply actions
Glad I wasn't the only one
I didn’t ask cause it felt weird. Plus, I don’t really remember specific shows/djs, except for the Celtic show Sunday mornings. I’m not sure why I remember that.
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 29, 2011 1:01 AM CDT up reply actions
It didn't really have a name, i don't think.
Fall of 1995, spring of 96.
And it was on KLCR, not KRUI, because I didn’t go to Iowa.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Oct 29, 2011 9:37 AM CDT up reply actions
Emo kids don't high-fave.
/stupid The Cure joke
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Oct 29, 2011 3:14 PM CDT up reply actions
Has any other visiting team ever taken down the goalposts anywhere?
I can’t remember it ever happening anywhere else. I also can’t imagine we’ll ever see it again.
It worked so brilliantly because it was so impromptu.
That was back in the days when Iowa fans stormed our own field after every single game, after all, why the fuck not? Then we got to Minnesota and the Iowa fans outnumbered the Minnesota fans not just in numbers (we may or may not technically have had more fans, methinks we did though) but more importantly in balls.
Iowa fans just instinctively ran out on the field before even thinking about what they were doing. The stadium security and Minnesota people (you can’t really call them fans when they go to football games like other people go bowling) didn’t understand what was happening or know what to do about it.
By the time they realized that this wasn’t going to turn out well, it was far too late.
Now that they know what to watch out for and in the day and age of taser-happy security guards, it’ll probably never happen again. So Iowa fans have to find alternative ways to go balls deep. Which we did. Literally.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
by HawKCP on Oct 28, 2011 7:04 PM CDT reply actions 6 recs
I was talking with my brothers
when it happened, none of us could think of a visiting team taking down goalposts either. You need a really odd set of circumstances for it to happen, the visitors need a ton of people there and the win has to be big enough to justify it. Usually not the case if there are that many visitors as that’s typically a sign that the home team sucks. If it hadn’t been for the undefeated Big 10season, I don’t think it would have happened.
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 28, 2011 7:15 PM CDT up reply actions
As someone who was there
I don’t think it would have happen if the Dome didn’t start playing what sounded like microphone feedback over the speakers. The people on the field were being peaceful and just celebrating with the team. It got ugly when the squeal started. It was a terrible sound.
But "disappointing" is not a synonym for "crappy." - Jacob Peterson
"We are Iowans, for the most part if you tell us to do something we’ll do it. It’s not like we are from South Carolina." - Carfino'sWay
by 6 seconds of hell on Oct 28, 2011 7:18 PM CDT up reply actions
I was there too.
I think there were several factors. Part of it was: “We’re here. What the hell do we do now? Because it should be something awesome.”
Part of it was the weird scenario where security had already been overwhelmed by so many Iowa fans on the field that they gave up on those already on the field and targeted those attempting to join them. However, enough fans were still attempting it and making it that it looked worthy of chancing it if you were reasonably athletic. The security guards only had a very spotty line of defense and once you broke that you ran like hell to the area where the fans and players were congregating and the players were welcoming those who made it. There seemed to be a sense of the players acting as protectors because every person I saw make it ran to a player and slapped them on the shoulder pads and then started acting a fool.
So the late additions were extra amped up and ready to do some shit and felt like they had protectors from the bad guys.
Whatever, it was fucking awesome.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
by HawKCP on Oct 28, 2011 7:36 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Perhaps the most underrated swagger move I have seen in CFB
People still cannot believe it when I tell them, it’s inconceivable to them and at times I think the same thing describing it. Minny’s hate of us is generally envy as mentioned above, but they should hate us for that one event alone, and more importantly hate themselves for allowing it. On top of it, to take from a motto my son sometimes uses in fun, “We regret NOTHING.”
FOUR. THREE. COVER. TWO.
by Mr. Grizz on Oct 28, 2011 7:41 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
I don't know
My memory is hazy, but I’m pretty sure the goalposts were under assault before that. When they started playing Frank Sinatra the group I was with was laughing, saying if they thought that was going to get the fans off the field, they were crazy.
Full disclosure, I was not on the field, and had no real desire to be there. But I enjoyed the hell out of watching it
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 28, 2011 7:41 PM CDT up reply actions
I was in the Dome
but did not try to get on the field.
I recall a few Hawk fans at a time heading out there. It wasn’t a huge influx, just a stead flow.
8-0 and a possible (probable?) Rose Bowl, within a couple years of a 1-10 year, just means that something was going to happen.
It will be interesting to see what Gopher fans do if they ever climb from the abyss and challenge for a Big Ten title. Part of me, as an Iowa fan, wants our team to have the duty to keep them from winning an end-of-the-season game to do that. Part of me is thankful they’ll probably never win another “last Big Ten game” at Kinnick.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Oct 28, 2011 8:13 PM CDT up reply actions
Not sure about that one but...
Back in Hayden’s time Iowa would frequently be penalized for making too much noise when Minny had the ball. Wondering how many “visiting” teams were penalized for too much crowd noise back then?
Anyone here old enough to remember DB? A real old school baseball coach...
by two_niner_was_old_school on Oct 28, 2011 8:50 PM CDT up reply actions
the best thing about minny...
Is j robinson and he’s just pretending to be dan gable.
by rosko on Oct 28, 2011 7:04 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
Greatest moment of my life:
Listening to a Minnesota wrestler literally pant like a dog as David Taylor beat him around the mat. That it was a Minnesota wrestler was just, of course, icing on the cake.
"Pick it, Moon'."
by ReadingRambler on Oct 28, 2011 7:34 PM CDT up reply actions
Not really that impressive when you consider this was the Minnesota wrestler in question:
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 28, 2011 9:27 PM CDT up reply actions
when i went to gables camp in high school
There was a kid from minnesota in my weight group. He had a died orange mohawk and roller bladed around campus. Nuff said.
by rosko on Oct 28, 2011 9:41 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
The best thing about J Robsinson
is that he has to live in fear of the throat-punch that Carfino’s Way will be delivering. Sometime, somewhere.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Oct 28, 2011 8:15 PM CDT up reply actions
CW would throat punch Robinson on his death bed
The answer? Aliens. Or not aliens.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 28, 2011 8:18 PM CDT up reply actions
Absolutely.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Oct 28, 2011 8:26 PM CDT up reply actions
Last team from Iowa to beat Minnesota
IOWA STATE 12/31/2009 LOLZ
(This must be rectified. GO GET THE PIG)
Executive Producer - WRNL TV
Ah yes, in the "Laugh-a-bowl"
that was on the NFL Network, when NOBODY got the NFL Network.
by Kinnick Stadium is my Graceland on Oct 28, 2011 7:10 PM CDT up reply actions
Surprised the guy at the power station
didn’t pour his thermos out on the switch that controlled the television stations.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 28, 2011 9:25 PM CDT up reply actions
FYI
If you’re watching the World Series (and you should be) there is an Iowa hat right behind the area where the Rangers on deck hitters are taking practice swings.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood..." - Teddy Roosevelt
That might be a kid from my high school.
I know he was there last night with a sign. Not sure if he was repping the Hawks.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Oct 28, 2011 8:17 PM CDT up reply actions
I was thinking that if you're watching the WS
Rangers pitching might have walked you by now.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Oct 28, 2011 9:28 PM CDT up reply actions
That's me!
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Oct 28, 2011 11:34 PM CDT up reply actions
Ok, I lied. That's not really me, at all.
But I do have a similar hat.
"Pursue happiness... with diligence."
by Bucketochicken on Oct 29, 2011 9:38 AM CDT up reply actions
Is it fair to say that when we lose to Minnesota it is comparable to losing to ISU
because when we do lose it’s embarrassing, not disappointment?
Yes.
Except, you usually don’t have to listen to Gopher fans crow for the rest of the year, even at the end of a 3 or 4-win season.
We will become more intensity!!! --What Reading Rambler thinks Tom Brands should do.
by WaterlooChazz on Oct 28, 2011 8:27 PM CDT up reply actions
Iowa is only about the 8th or 9th best team ISU will face this year
So the 4 win season makes a little sense
Executive Producer - WRNL TV
What stat has minutes of game down by multiple TDs?
FAKE RESULT: Cyclones spend most time losing
"GO HAWKS!" - only cure for Hawkeye Envy
by BentNotBroken on Oct 28, 2011 9:23 PM CDT up reply actions
Floyd's Emancipation
He may be sleeping in Coach Kill’s bed tonight (a celebratory gesture as a result of JK’s new 7 year deal for beating Miami of Ohio? A weight on his chest to keep him prone during seizures? ) but, tomorrow night—The Pig comes home to Iowa City………we will all sleep well then.
Hate Northwestern, Hate OSU, Michigan State, Michigan too...you get the picture.
Use protection
for the love of god, you have no idea what sort of horrible diseases a bathroom in Minnesota has
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 28, 2011 11:58 PM CDT up reply actions
As someone who spent more than a decade in Minnesota
I hate them with every fiber of my being. The fans are so ignorant and condescending towards anything Iowa. We’re a bunch of stupid hicks who should marvel at their fair city.
It is a nice town but it’s still just the nicest cow town in the Midwest.
They gloat when their basketball team beats us like a rented mule but quickly change topics when our football dominance is dicusssed.
As far as sports in general, the fans suck. If the Vikings win the first game of the season “we’re going to the superbowl!!! 16-0 Baby!!!”
After one loss the qb sucks, coach needs to be fired and the refs screwed them.
Any success they have is undeserved and needs to be rectified with a thorough ass whooping.
Get Floyd back, defile the restrooms the parking lot and mezzanine. Take both goal posts leaving one deep up Goldy’s rodent ass and fly the Tigerhawk on thier flagpole before leaving with a 63-0 win.
It's so sad how a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
by FiveSecondRuleChef on Oct 29, 2011 7:53 AM CDT via mobile reply actions
now that is the hate
i need t get ready for the game today.
Iowa will "...work Minnesota like a part-time job."
TOUCHDOWN IOWA! TOUCHDOWN IOWA! - Gary Dolphin
I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! - Jim Zabel
by Bloodpunch's Barbasol on Oct 29, 2011 10:06 AM CDT up reply actions
OT
over at BSB, this was posted
Gonna be a wild one there
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 29, 2011 10:13 AM CDT reply actions
It really is
"'Contrariwise,' continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic." - Lewis Caroll, Alice Through the Looking Glass
by chitownhawkeye on Oct 29, 2011 10:42 AM CDT up reply actions
I am dreaming of a white...out
I can just hear Bing Crosby singing
Iowa will "...work Minnesota like a part-time job."
TOUCHDOWN IOWA! TOUCHDOWN IOWA! - Gary Dolphin
I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! - Jim Zabel
by Bloodpunch's Barbasol on Oct 29, 2011 10:27 AM CDT up reply actions
And may I add, because Fuck You we're Iowa.
Well Done Mr Vint.
Smells like bullshit in here.
by Pantslessobserver on Oct 29, 2011 11:40 AM CDT reply actions
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