Reason #178 to hate Northwestern: Purple Sucks

Seriously.  Think about it.  It's the worst color in the double rainbow.  It's the "leftover" color that no one else wanted. There isn't anything good in the world that is purple.  I've done the research.  Here's the proof.

Doneeggplant_medium

Eggplant.  Worst vegetable there is.  I would rather stick a banana pepper in my pee hole than eat an eggplant.

 

Doneplum_medium

Plums.  Worst fruit there is.  Tastes like a peach that went through the laundry and gives you diarrhea.

 

Doneurchin8_medium

Sea Urchins.  Useless.  Prickly little assholes of the sea.

Donegatorade_medium

Rain Gatorade.  Terrible idea.  Tastes like bathroom spray.  Hopefully they've had the sense to discontinue this shit.

 

Donegrimace_medium

Grimace.  Fat furry blob trying to sell greasy fast food to kids.  Real asshole move there, Grimace.

 

Donebieber_medium

Justin Bieber.  The Oracle loves purple.  Justin Bieber sucks worse than the worst sucking thing you can think of.

 

 

Donetubby_medium

Tinky Winky.  Listen, Jerry Falwell was a seriously insane piece of shit and this has nothing to do with sexual orientation.  The simple fact is, Tinky Winky is a jerk. 

 

5309275651969deeppurple_medium

Deep Purple.  Every untalented fartbag in America that has ever picked up a guitar has played the intro to "Smoke on the Water."  If I can play it, it sucks.

 

Donevikingsfanssmall_medium

The Minnesota Vikings.  Their team is turds-in-cleats and their fans dress one small step less-assholish than Raiders fans.

 

Donefat_medium

This obese woman smoking cowboy killers.  She likes purple.  Hey, are those Crocs?  Yep.  Perfect.  Go Wildcats.

 

Donedoucher_medium

 

Mr. Doucher.  A little-known Mr Men book about a stupid yelling dickhole football coach in Evanston.

 

 

Donewhore_medium

Purple eye shadow.  It's what whores wear.  

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Join Black Heart Gold Pants

You must be a member of Black Heart Gold Pants to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Black Heart Gold Pants. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9347_tracker