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Around SBN: Kobe Bryant Will Never Top Michael Jordan

ALL STANZI ALL THE TIME.



This is mainly so I don't hijack other non-Stanzi threads to post about Stanzi, which I will be doing lots of leading up to the draft.

Links to stories about Stanzi, pictures of Stanzi, discussion of Stanzi, etc.

Star-divide


Fucking Todd McShay says teams shouldn't draft Stanzi thinking they'll turn him into a future starter. Bullshit.

Wes Bunting thinks otherwise, says he has starting potential in the NFL and can be had for a bargain in the mid rounds.

Stanzi, Kaepernick, and Locker interviewed on the NFL Network. Goddamn he looks fine. Talks about what he did to improve his INT stats this year. Also discusses how difficult the transition is coming from a familiar offense to one in the Senior Bowl.

And okay, PackerHawk. Seeing Kaepernick speak, I admit he's a little cute. He doesn't make my heart drop like Stanzi, but he's cute.


I am now offering a high reward for pics of Stanzi at the weigh-in. All I can find is that fat dude and Tebow from last year.

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

Comment 672 comments  |  10 recs  | 

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What about a picture of AmeriStanzi

Straight out of the shower, after a Insight Bowl practice and holding my baby boy!

i don't wife em...i one night em

by smokinthereiff on Jan 27, 2011 12:51 PM CST reply actions  

"You’re talking about things that are real. That’s real. In those other dual meets, it wasn’t real, but now it’s real." ~ Tom Brands regarding the Iowa State dual.

by Kluginator on Jan 28, 2011 12:28 PM CST up reply actions  

McShay is a dumbass

looking for the QB with the big arm/ no accuracy with the idea of making him a starter = Jamarcus Russell. Looking for a QB with accuracy/ mediocre arm = Chad Pennington. Give me Pennington anyday.

"I don't believe in quotes" - Karl Klug

by Nature Boy on Jan 27, 2011 1:29 PM CST reply actions  

Stanzi does not yet have the accuracy of Pennington.

I’m optismistic . . . we’ve all seen flashes of brilliance, the measurables are good, and being a full-time practicing Quarterback makes a huge difference. Fitting in QB practice around being a full-time college student is hard.

by The Final Gun on Jan 27, 2011 2:41 PM CST up reply actions  

this is true

all Mcshay looks at is physical attributes. This is why he was also in love with brady quinn. He doesnt realize that arm strength is much easier to fix than things like decision making, accuracy, leadership skill etc. …

by cubbyhawk on Jan 28, 2011 10:10 AM CST up reply actions  

Don't forget his love affair with Jimmy Clausen

which alone should disqualify him from “expert” status.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:11 AM CST up reply actions  

Kaepernick is just so tall and rangy

A very big weakness, and with his bigger arms and sleeves, just so much better now than as a scrawny frosh 4 years ago.

by PackerHawk on Jan 27, 2011 1:37 PM CST reply actions  

Ok, so...I hate to rain on your parade...

…but I just don’t get it. Stanzi is marginally good looking with short hair and minimal scruff. Otherwise (and I realize this is BHGP blasphemy), he’s just not that cute.

Tyler Sash on the other hand…

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 1:58 PM CST reply actions  

I'm with you, Sash>Stanzi but Stanzi is still appealing to me

For me, it’s the fact that Stanzi is taller than me. Anybody over 6’3" has a definite advantage in my book.

by PackerHawk on Jan 27, 2011 2:05 PM CST up reply actions  

Mmm, yes

As a girl that is 5’9 and loves wearing 4 inch (or higher) heels, a guy cannot be tall enough. My fiance is 6’7, which was and still is a HUGE attraction. It’s not easy feeling small when you’re a tall girl when most people are shorter than you (and I towered over all the boys growing up until at least sophomore year in high school).

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 2:15 PM CST up reply actions  

I used to be a height whore because my ex is 6'5...

…but then I got the Yellow Fever, so that wasn’t realistic anymore.

Girth is more important than length, anyway. I learned that the hard way in college. Like all great lessons one learns in college.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 27, 2011 2:20 PM CST up reply actions  

Yellow fever...ha!

Love that term.

In my circle you’d be a rice queen. (for mods…that term is a compliment, not an insult) :)

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 2:49 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Girth is more important than length

Only to a certain extent. For me at least, there is a certain amount of length that is important.

by PackerHawk on Jan 27, 2011 2:57 PM CST up reply actions  

So tall fat guys

are a huge turn on for you? Because if so, it’s a shame we’ve never met.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 9:58 AM CST up reply actions  

I love this thread.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 10:43 AM CST up reply actions  

Wow, I learned a new word today.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 10:46 AM CST up reply actions  

This phrase needs to be preserved somehow.

I think it belongs on the main page as BHGP’s slogan.

So what if I tailgate to the NPR jazz station?

by hkobb7 on Jan 30, 2011 4:24 PM CST up reply actions  

Absolutely

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 30, 2011 7:08 PM CST up reply actions  

Dick Stanzi?

Oh, you meant a penis.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 2:45 AM CST up reply actions  

Though I will give you that Sash

was very hot with the bald head. I don’t know why he grew his hair out (well, for him anyway—it was still only like 1/2 inch long at best). I thought AJ Edds was the hottest Hawkeye last year. Plus, he’s intelligent (at least he appeared to be, and from what others have said about him he is), which is very attractive.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 2:27 PM CST up reply actions  

Shaved bald heads.

Love ’em. Upon first meeting, it was one of the things that got me past the fact that my boy is shorter than me.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 2:47 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Now you've got me wondering about that part of gay relationships

In man-woman relationships, it seems that women always want a man taller than them and men want a woman shorter than them. How do gay couples (male or female) reconcile this? Would there be some parallel to the shorter person being less butch than the taller person?

And I’m not expecting some sort of answer for all gay couples, it’s just a stupid question i now have.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 4:35 PM CST up reply actions  

I have actually wondered this same thing

But I imagine it’s the same type of thing—2 people find certain things attractive and end up together. It’s about as logical as any male/female pairing really.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 4:39 PM CST up reply actions  

Which is to say

It’s mostly luck. You’re not going to be attracted to every person of whatever gender suits your fancy.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 4:53 PM CST up reply actions  

That's a good question.

And like most good questions, there’s probably not one answer. Height is something that I associate with masculinity (might be an odd association, but it’s there), so I tend to be drawn to tall men on first glance. This isn’t always true, though, as I’ve met many tall guys who have more Prada bags fall from their mouths than Carson Kressly.

I’d imagine it being akin to boobs for straight guys. Yeah, big tits are fun and catch your attention…but it’s not the only thing you look at.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 4:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Um
Yeah, big tits are fun and catch your attention…but it’s not the only thing you look at.

Clearly, you’ve never met me. Far too often, that is ALL I pay attention to, which has led me deep into the Shame Cave more than once. Much to the amusement of my friends.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:00 AM CST up reply actions  

Ummmm

seconded, kinda

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 28, 2011 10:01 AM CST up reply actions  

I tend to go for girls that are proportionate

Or oddly disproportionate in way or the other, like a bigger but and small boobs and big boobs and no butt. However, I think the most attractive attribute is somebody that carries themselves with confidence. I’m sure it’s the same thing with any sexual orientation.

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 10:33 AM CST up reply actions  

Nice boobs will give plenty of confidence

Boobs are great. But, I agree; first thing you notice, last thing you care about.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:16 PM CST up reply actions  

Side note.

I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone, of all sexual orientations, loves titties.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 12:23 PM CST up reply actions  

I was going to say this same thing

Although it’s probably in a different way. It’s more admiring/envious or thinking I have better or wondering how they are able to stand up at all.
I will say every single guy I have ever even casually made out with (there are far more of these then those I’ve had sex with) has been obsessed with boobs. They can’t keep their hands off. Especially nipples.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 12:33 PM CST up reply actions  

Agreed on the nipples.

Also agree on the different way — definitely not looking to nuzzle in-between them.

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 12:35 PM CST up reply actions  

They're spectacular

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:33 PM CST up reply actions  

Reply fail

A fag hag with big breasts is a truly wonderful (and fun) thing. That’s all there is to say about that.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:26 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

here here!

insert motorboating noise here

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 1:27 PM CST up reply actions  

Are they built for speed or comfort?

Are they built for speed or comfort? What’d you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? You motorboatin son of a bitch! You old sailor you!

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 1:32 PM CST up reply actions  

Now I have to watch Anchorman AND Wedding Crashers this weekend.

Have to cancel my work at the orphanage

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 1:34 PM CST up reply actions  

Feel free to send them my way.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 1:34 PM CST up reply actions  

Single sisters?

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 2:19 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm pretty sure he was asking if you had any single sisters.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 3:01 PM CST up reply actions  

If they weren't before, they would be after dating me

So it wouldn’t matter

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 3:17 PM CST up reply actions  

Wasn't meant to be one. I know my faults

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 3:27 PM CST up reply actions  

Still, everyone wants to set me up.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 3:28 PM CST up reply actions  

It's kind of nice to see a girl that buys into the mystery method.

Because every female that I know that knows what Mystery looks like swears he wouldn’t have a shot. I imagine it’s because they haven’t run into him in a bar.

by The Mexican't on Jan 28, 2011 3:40 PM CST up reply actions  

Umm, yes

There was also a short-lived VH1 series about that guy that attempted to make hopeless guys into players. Or at least help them just TALK to women without cumming in their pants before even approaching them. I will admit, a lot of his tactics would def work.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 3:56 PM CST up reply actions  

Um, no. I am plenty confident.

If you ever met me you would know. Absolutely not cocky, but self-assured. And the dude Mystery is an assbag. Those are all things you learn in Anthropology books and sales tactics. He looks like a fucktard with his peacocking. And he is fug.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 3:49 PM CST up reply actions  

I'd fuck him.

And I bet he is reaaally good at pleasing women in bed.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 28, 2011 3:51 PM CST up reply actions  

Why would you assume that

Getting a girl into bed doesn’t mean she’s happy when she leaves

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 3:56 PM CST up reply actions  

Because he actually knows what women like

in bed. And how to touch them. Most guys get tips from pornos, and, um, no.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 3:58 PM CST up reply actions  

That's one thing I plan on teaching my son.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 4:02 PM CST up reply actions  

There's a handle on Twitter

called The Sex Therapist, that knows his stuff about that. DJK retweeted one of his tips one time, which is how I discovered him.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 4:03 PM CST up reply actions  

Maybe, I just don't see him being all that good

Not a woman, so what do I know.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 4:05 PM CST up reply actions  

Maybe he's good at sucking dick too?

I’m sure that he’d know his way around the shaft.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 4:50 PM CST up reply actions  

He does wear an awful lot of eyeliner

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 4:59 PM CST up reply actions  

Porn moves are bunk.

First off, I spot them one. Then you can mix the kissing on the collarbone, neck and hips. And sometimes you just have to wreck her and her drywall. It is different with each girl.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 4:07 PM CST up reply actions   1 recs

Also different on the occasion/mood

And sometimes we like it all in the same session.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 4:10 PM CST up reply actions  

This is true.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 4:10 PM CST up reply actions  

Very good point.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 4:49 PM CST up reply actions  

Rec'd

For wrecking her and her drywall.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 4:10 PM CST up reply actions  

Bitchy girls with big boobs?

I’m in love.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 29, 2011 12:14 AM CST up reply actions  

Gay and straight! Joining forces!

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 28, 2011 1:26 PM CST up reply actions  

Who knew our mutal love of titty-balls would bring us together

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 1:32 PM CST up reply actions  

I was going to write ...

Gay and straight! Coming together!

But that may have broken the Internet forever.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 28, 2011 1:35 PM CST up reply actions  

Yeah, because that would be the first time that's happened

Or does “straight” have to be in quotes in that scenario?

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:40 PM CST via mobile up reply actions   2 recs

Hahaha

That’s a rec

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Jan 28, 2011 1:44 PM CST up reply actions  

HAHAHAHAHAHA

</my entire experience in Iowa City’d>

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 1:50 PM CST up reply actions  

Not me, good sir

I just didn’t want to confuse thread lurkers any more than they already may be.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 28, 2011 1:55 PM CST up reply actions  

Greatness

Actually, I think there are whole sections of the Internet dedicated to just that sort of thing

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 2:01 PM CST up reply actions  

Re: German porn

Or so I’ve heard.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 28, 2011 2:05 PM CST up reply actions  

For some reason

I just think of a bunch of S&M festishist stuff when I think of German porn. Maybe that’s just me.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 2:06 PM CST up reply actions  

The German S&M fetish stuff

was the inspiration for the Hellraiser outfits.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 2:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Clive Barker!

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 28, 2011 2:07 PM CST up reply actions  

That explains it then

God I love horror movies. I basically directed one in my dream last night. There was some crazy shit going on.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 2:09 PM CST up reply actions  

What are your favorites?

I just discovered Neil Marshall (Descent, Dog Soldiers, Doomsday) lately. He is an awesome writer/director.

Watching the Hills Have Eyes 1 and 2 tonight at work.

Loved, loved, loved 28 Days Later, but thought 28 Weeks Later was crap.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 8:47 PM CST up reply actions  

Saw Descent, but not those others.

Hills Have Eyes 1 is good (the scene of the mutant violating the breast feeding woman still makes my skin crawl, and that was pretty mild compared to the rest of that movie); 2 is crap. Totally agree 28 Days Later was awesome and Weeks was crap. I love 80s slashers, and I can watch them over and over again. I loved the new Dawn of the Dead. The Crazies was probably my fave that was released this year (plus it takes place outside Cedar Rapids), though I still have some to see still that are just now coming out on DVD/Blu-Ray, like Let Me In. I saw the original swedish version of that movie, Let the Right One In, and that was good. Different type of vampire movie too.
My favorites really change all the time. I like all types and will always give it a shot. I’ve had Suspiria and some other older horror movies in my Blockbuster Queue for a long time and have just not gotten around to them.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 29, 2011 5:31 PM CST up reply actions  

I agree HHE2 was crap, but I still watch it occasionally as part of a double feature with HHE

Daybreakers is an awesome take on the vampire genre, as is 30 Days of Night (Josh Hartnett is so yummy too).

I just can’t seem to get into the 80s slasher flicks.

If you liked the Descent, you should check out Dog Soldiers by the same writer/director. The Descent 2 might be one of the best sequels I’ve seen in awhile, but still not anywhere as good as the original.

by PackerHawk on Jan 31, 2011 12:05 AM CST up reply actions  

Thumbs up

For Daybreakers and 30 Days of Night.

Halloween ~ original version ~ still gets it done.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 31, 2011 2:08 AM CST up reply actions  

Yep, seen Daybreakers and 30 Days of Night

Both good if you like vampire flicks. Halloween (original version, not the abominations that were Rob Zombie’s) is def my fave of the slasher flicks. I can watch that movie over and over (and have, multiple times in a row when AMCs Monsterfest is on leading up to Halloween). The movie Devil that just came out isn’t a total horror movie, more of a thriller/suspense, but it was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. The story was very compelling and I couldn’t wait to find out what the hell was going on.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 31, 2011 8:37 AM CST up reply actions  

Speaking of which ...

28 Days Later is on sci-fi right now.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 31, 2011 2:39 PM CST up reply actions  

I think of

2 Girls 1 Cup when I think of German porn. Because ze Germans, the love the scheisse filme!

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 2:09 PM CST up reply actions  

Mom, were you in a German scheisse video?

Cartman’d

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 2:11 PM CST up reply actions  

An interesting thought-experiment

What characteristic/style/film do you associate with each country’s porn?

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 2:14 PM CST up reply actions  

Wasn't there a Family Guy episode about this

Or at least I’m pretty sure there definitely was one regarding British porn.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 2:17 PM CST up reply actions  

This is about as exciting as British porn

You are correct madam

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 2:18 PM CST up reply actions  

Exciting as Jewish porn

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 2:22 PM CST up reply actions  

Also, it's not a skit about porn, per se

But there’s a pretty funny little sex dialogue involving Stephen Hawking.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 2:24 PM CST up reply actions  

Middle Eastern porn

lots and lots of chaste ankle shots.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 28, 2011 2:17 PM CST up reply actions  

What, do you mean like each country's trademark or something?

The term “bukkake” is in Japanese for a reason.
It’s also fun to use in daily conversation. “I was opening up my pudding cup and it totally bukkaked me.”

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 28, 2011 2:24 PM CST up reply actions  

Yeah, something like that

e.g. the following:

German: poop, obviously.
British: bad teeth, men cross-dressing
Japanese: pixelated. Or cartoon
Hungarian: double anal

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 2:25 PM CST up reply actions  

Swedish?

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 2:25 PM CST up reply actions  

American:

Implants, and anything with fast food

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 2:26 PM CST up reply actions  

Dutch

Weed and jumping rope

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 2:28 PM CST up reply actions  

RE: Japanese

You can’t leave out all the tentacles.

by brock_tune on Jan 28, 2011 4:10 PM CST up reply actions  

I kind of feel bad for everyone NOT in this thread right now

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 2:39 PM CST up reply actions  

Mmm... Bacon Pancakes.

Bukkake’d just brought back that wonderful post from last fall.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 2:40 PM CST up reply actions  

I would think

bukkake would really ruin the taste of the bacon pancake.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 2:41 PM CST up reply actions  

But it would explain ...

Jessica Simpson’s weight gain.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 28, 2011 2:43 PM CST up reply actions  

The FanPost in question:

Bacon Pancakes

The quote that I recalled:

The Iowa pitcher capriciously and indiscriminately bukkakes his love batter all over Miss Bacon’s face, thus conceiving unholy demon spawn destine to gut bomb your Saturday.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 2:47 PM CST up reply actions  

And it's still glorious, even in block quote form

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 2:57 PM CST up reply actions  

We're here, we're Hawks, get used to it!

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 2:13 PM CST up reply actions  

To what comment was this in response to?

I tried to figure it out, but there’s too much in between the comment and your reply.

by PackerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 3:47 AM CST up reply actions  

If you click the "up" button it'll jump you up to the post being replied to.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 29, 2011 8:43 AM CST up reply actions  

Oh, holy shit. That's a new tip.

Excellent, sir.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 10:04 AM CST up reply actions  

You have made my life better.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 29, 2011 10:05 AM CST up reply actions  

As college QBs go, Stanzi is the hottest.

Just look at some of the other uggos. Gingers, Harry Potter, Napoleon Dynamite Nick Foles, Blaine Gabbert, dorky Andrew Luck…

When Stanzi has his hair short he looks sharp. He has a pretty boy face and an awesome body. His eyes are gorgeous.

And I’m not even that attracted to white guys.

(Oh, and Sash is pretty hot, not disagreeing with you.)

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 27, 2011 2:06 PM CST up reply actions   1 recs

Umm, Locker and Kaepernick?

That was a pretty hot trio at that table last night.

by PackerHawk on Jan 27, 2011 2:11 PM CST up reply actions  

I concur

When Stanzi is rocking the short hair he indeed looks sharp. Somehow the short hair minimizes his nose or something. It just works better with his facial features.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 2:18 PM CST up reply actions  

And it's not that long hair can't work

it just doesn’t work as well on him. Look to Josh Holloway or Gabriel Aubry on how to make long-ish hair look good.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 2:20 PM CST up reply actions  

I saw your posts about LOST, too

I, too, miss that show. A lot. It would have already started too if it was still going. SIGH.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 2:29 PM CST up reply actions  

A bit dated, but

what about Chase Daniel? Yum. Help that my boyfriend is a die-hard mizzou supporter.

Speaking of Mizzou, T.J. Moe is a little slice. Those with his specific philosophic views aren’t exactly fans of folks like me, but he’s still dreamy.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 2:45 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

I believe that absolutely translates into future NFL prowess

Only one of the top QBs of all time that I would consider unattractive was Elway. The others were quite attractive: Montana, Namath, Favre, Marino, Aikman, Unitas, etc.

Even the top guys now are mostly attractive. Brady, Vick, Romo, Rivers, etc. The only unattractive top guys now would probably be Manning, Big Ben, and Rodgers.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 4:40 PM CST up reply actions  

Rodgers? Are you fucking kidding me?

It might be lost under the mountain man beard, but that man is gorgeous.

Big Ben=hot bear, ’nuff said.

by PackerHawk on Jan 27, 2011 9:31 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Hahaha

I love that you just used the term “Bear” on BHGP.

And you couldn’t be more correct. Total bear (or maybe super muscle otter) sexiness.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 11:17 PM CST up reply actions  

Ha

I’m not sure what super muscle otter means, but I don’t think I’d want to encounter one in the wild. Those little bastards are vicious without super muscles.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 10:22 AM CST up reply actions  

Well "otter" is the term

Which is just a thin, usually tall, version of a bear.

I just added “super” and “muscle” because he wouldn’t be a prototypical otter.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 12:17 PM CST up reply actions  

Big Ben = my doppelganger

So by the transitive property, I’m a hot bear? Sweet!

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 10:33 AM CST up reply actions  

Given Big Ben's rather checkered past

Do you really want to claim you could be mistaken for him?

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 11:35 AM CST up reply actions  

It's not an association I proudly make, but it's there

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 2:12 PM CST up reply actions  

FYI: that is not a picture of me

Just realized I may have to clear that up with the large female contingent of this thread. I am pretty sure that show has less female viewers than BHGP.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 8:19 PM CST up reply actions  

I was trying to place it too

I thought it looked like some guy with a bunch of fat makeup on, but, as noted, it was awkward to say so because I couldn’t quite put my finger on who I thought it was.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 29, 2011 5:33 PM CST up reply actions  

From Always Sunny

Episode: Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender

Thought it kinda apt since I’m saying that I look a guy that should be a registered sex offender, Big Ben. FYI, that’s him in fat makeup as the sex offender, here’s a glamour shot of him for the ladies.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 29, 2011 9:38 PM CST up reply actions  

You want him? You can have him.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 31, 2011 2:07 AM CST up reply actions  

It's the jaw line, I have a major weakness for a square jawline

And he’s funny so that’s a plus. Although at 5’11", a bit on the short side for me. But I’m seeing someone who’s 5’7" so I can get over the height difference.

by PackerHawk on Jan 31, 2011 2:26 AM CST up reply actions  

Oh – I never congratulated you for your “baby arm” post. I had multiple non-Hawkeyes laughing in my office.

by txhawkeye on Jan 28, 2011 8:41 PM CST up reply actions  

This might not be the best thread in which to use the phrase "baby arm"

Because it took me 5 seconds to put that term with the Klug post.

/dirty mind’d

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 8:49 PM CST up reply actions  

+10 for that.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 8:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Considering the rest of this highly entertaining thread, I thought placement was spot on.

by txhawkeye on Jan 28, 2011 10:40 PM CST up reply actions  

Fair enough.

Even though it was confusing and I was about to go back and see if I had missed something in the shots of Klug that hadn’t been photoshopped to reduce its size.

by PackerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 12:58 AM CST up reply actions  

The chin is EXACTLY where I see the similarity

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 11:53 PM CST up reply actions  

I must disagree here

I think Rodgers is gorgeous, but Big Ben?! Gross. He is not attractive at all. He’s all bulbous and asshole-ish and rape-ish (allegedly, but shady dealings in bathroom bars are enough to turn me off).

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 10:48 AM CST up reply actions  

So wait, if I look like Big Ben now I'm bulbous and asshole-ish?

/I always thought this was more likely the case

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 10:55 AM CST up reply actions  

If you have a lumpy-looking face

then probably. Although the asshole-ish comment is more personality, which goes a long way in determining hotness.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 11:01 AM CST up reply actions  

I'm guessing big toes are smarter.

And clearly less of a heel.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 11:12 AM CST up reply actions  

*rimshot

Bucket will be here all week folks! Tip your waitress, try the veal!

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 11:36 AM CST up reply actions  

You don't like sexual assault?

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 2:50 AM CST up reply actions  

Most people don't

But that doesn’t mean the alleged perpetrator’s can’t still be hot. I remember thinking “who wouldn’t want to bang Big Ben?” when that story broke.

Then again, I know that it’s not so fun on the victim side of things, so please please please nobody accuse me of being cavalier about sexual assault.

by PackerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 3:45 AM CST up reply actions  

The University of Virginia

has a sexual assault team?

Ewww

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 29, 2011 10:24 AM CST up reply actions  

Sorry, but my attraction to someone

is affected greatly by my perception of them as a person i.e. I’ve met women who I would otherwise describe as beautiful end up being repulsive to me based on their character/personality.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 11:59 AM CST up reply actions  

No matter how good someone looks, someone, somewhere, is sick of putting up with their shit.

Guess it just depends on how much shit you’re willing to put up with. Otherwise known as the “Crazy/Hot Scale”

by Swarley on Jan 29, 2011 1:18 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm shallow, single, and horny

I don’t have the highest standards right now.

by PackerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 1:32 PM CST up reply actions  

Rapelisburger is an ugly somebitch

He and his "girl"friend look like a bad backyard wrestling tag team.
Now introducing Rufie and Snout

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:28 PM CST up reply actions  

Tyler Sash hands down.

No contest. With or without hair, though without is preferred.
.

by Carfino'sWay on Jan 27, 2011 2:45 PM CST up reply actions  

Maybe it's because I'm a breeder (sorry guys) but those dudes are kind of busted

Objectively, Stanzi with long hair was fug. He is more respectable looking with short hair. TMFS looks like half the guys I went to school with.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 27, 2011 3:07 PM CST up reply actions  

And I'm 6'2" if that helps my opinion

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 27, 2011 3:09 PM CST up reply actions  

Do we go around critiquing your taste in cheerleaders?

No. So go away breeder! (sarcasm font, big smile, no derision intended)

by PackerHawk on Jan 27, 2011 3:15 PM CST up reply actions  

Feel free. If I am going after a cheerleader again, then something has gone terribly wrong

I am more the chemist or neurosurgeon type. With a cheerleader body (yes they do exist). I am always interested in why some people are with other people. Attraction is interesting.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 27, 2011 3:49 PM CST up reply actions  

You slept in the bed of one of THIS breeders' kids.

(DISCLAIMER: CHILDREN WERE NOT HOME AT THE TIME!)

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 2:51 AM CST up reply actions  

I sure did, but I didn't get the room with the teepee (DAMN YOU ROSS!!!)

Nothing against breeders, just not a huge fan of hetero males critiquing my taste in men. Then again, it doesn’t really bother me either.

by PackerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 3:44 AM CST up reply actions  

I think that's a universal

I hate when my wife critiques my taste in women (I still think Paris Hilton is hot), and she hates when I critique her taste in men. Colin Farrell. Ugh.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 29, 2011 10:08 AM CST up reply actions  

Paris Hilton is why I no longer find Urlacher hot

As much as I try. I mean, he should be my physical ideal (I love me some linebackers), but after his fling with Paris? Blech

by PackerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 1:34 PM CST up reply actions  

I don't remeber those two being together

But that would bring his appeal down a few notches for me. The company you keep says a lot about you.

by brock_tune on Jan 29, 2011 2:32 PM CST up reply actions  

Is that kind of like when gay men

critique the attactiveness of women?

Hello! Not for you! Mine!

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 29, 2011 10:25 AM CST up reply actions  

Yeah

But it’s fair game if we’re critiquing her outfit choice, hair cut/color, makeup, accessories, etc. Then it’s just constructive criticism.

by PackerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 1:36 PM CST up reply actions  

True

We can all be a bit catty.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 29, 2011 4:19 PM CST up reply actions  

The teepee was comfy.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Jan 29, 2011 10:28 AM CST up reply actions  

When she returned from the weekend

my daughter complained that the teepee smelled of, well, peepee.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 12:02 PM CST up reply actions  

When she returned from the weekend

my daughter complained that the teepee smelled of, well, peepee.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 12:02 PM CST up reply actions  

This thread is murdering my PC.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 12:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Your daughter is a filthy liar.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Jan 29, 2011 5:22 PM CST up reply actions  

Meh, most men who claim they can't tell if another male is attractive

are just afraid that admitting so somehow changes their sexuality. Whatever. Ewan McGregor is super-fine.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 12:06 PM CST up reply actions  

I know exactly what you mean

I made the mistake of saying I thought a guy was good looking and got a whole bunch of “homo this and homo that” related comments from my friends. I was also the only one with a girlfriend at the time so I thought it was humorous.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 29, 2011 12:11 PM CST up reply actions  

What was your beard's name?

Nah, just kidding.Obviously mature hetero dudes comfortable with themselves can gauge the hotness of other dudes. I mean, how else would I know how how incredibly super-sexy I am?

by The Final Gun on Jan 29, 2011 3:37 PM CST up reply actions  

I can't though

and I’m completely comfortable with themselves. Or rather, I can’t tell amongst the overwhelming majority of men that I think all basically look the same. For me it’s 10% I can tell are attractive and 70% that are physically repulsive. THe other 70% is just a wash of varying degrees of the same.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 29, 2011 8:17 PM CST up reply actions  

Or maybe MGOGBlog math?

You know, where 5/11 = 1/2 or some crazy shit like that.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 30, 2011 8:23 AM CST up reply actions  

Why do you think I went to law school?

I was promised no math. Should read, “…20% that are physically repulsive.”

Clearly, I did not give 110% effort on that post.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 30, 2011 10:31 AM CST up reply actions  

This is how I am with women

I tend to think most are attractive, and really only have a “hot or not” dichotomy. No grey area with women in my assessment.

by PackerHawk on Jan 31, 2011 12:10 AM CST up reply actions  

Where did you go to High School? Heaven?

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 4:16 PM CST up reply actions  

Heh. Could be.

Love me some farm boys.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 4:32 PM CST up reply actions  

Go to Davenport sometime. Maybe Iowa is worse now than it was when I left 8 years ago.

Don’t go to the East Coast. It was good for me, tons of women and all the guys were 5’8" and scrawny. And their suits were from Men’s Warehouse. Turrible. So by comparison, I was a very good commodity.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 27, 2011 5:11 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm from the QCA originally...

I’m 6’1" and I always thought I was short. Then I moved to Chicago and, depending on the venue, I’m a giant.

Odd how that works.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 5:18 PM CST up reply actions  

Same here. Moved to DC and everyone was tiny.

Everyone thought I was really big and scary (I am scary), but if they knew I grew up being small comparitavely, they would shit.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 27, 2011 5:32 PM CST up reply actions  

Really?

I never got the impression that I was that much taller/bigger than most of the guys in DC and I’m 6’3". Or, rather, I never really got the impression that DC was populated by an abundance of small guys. NYC, on the other hand, definitely is.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:09 AM CST up reply actions  

I am a giant in L.A. at 6'5" 230

And it’s always jarring to go back to the Midwest and see that I’m merely average size in some venues

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 10:36 AM CST up reply actions  

DC is pretty bad, not NY as mentioned

Up on The Hill is rediculous. In VA where I was, not a ton. Nobody is from here, but it seems all the genetic castoffs come here.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 10:58 AM CST up reply actions  

DC is "Hollywood for ugly people"

Maybe that explains it? Of course, most actors are rather short, so that doesn’t cover it completely.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 11:38 AM CST up reply actions  

I'm 6' and felt like a dwarf back home

moved to Boston and now I feel like a circus freak. The girls are freakin hot here too, all those liberal colleges I suppose. The city actually has a 60-40 demographic and that might not seem like a big variation but when you are walking around it feels like nothing but women.

"I don't believe in quotes" - Karl Klug

by Nature Boy on Jan 28, 2011 9:51 AM CST up reply actions  

Boston does have some hot women

And not gingers like I thought. Lots of blonds and they are really cool.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 10:57 AM CST up reply actions  

No, it's Iowa.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 27, 2011 5:08 PM CST up reply actions  

My admiration is fate...

Stanzi looks EXACTLY like a kid I had the hots for when I was younger. It’s seriously eerie…
Also, I live near Ricky’s home town, so the Stanzi’s sans Ricky came to our holiday party during the 2009 season and I won an autographed football presented by his father & mother. And let me tell you, his dad can definitely knock a few girls’ socks off as well. Not only would I lower my age restriction for Ricky, but I would also up my age restriction for his dad.

by Hawkette on Jan 27, 2011 3:24 PM CST up reply actions  

I feel...

anything below my younger brother’s age — I’d feel really weird… And anyone as old as my father is also not in my cards…

by Hawkette on Jan 27, 2011 3:28 PM CST up reply actions  

In reading that

my age range looks like it’s 12 years.

by Hawkette on Jan 27, 2011 3:30 PM CST up reply actions  

Nope

Iowa born & raised…

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 7:15 AM CST up reply actions  

I'm not used to having to remember which female poster posted what

It’s so confusing that you’re actually different people.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 8:28 AM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Yep

all 6 of you are here.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:12 AM CST up reply actions  

With the lurker:poster ratio

that means at least a couple dozen BHGP fans, right?

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 10:37 AM CST up reply actions  

4:1?

That sounds about right.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 10:44 AM CST up reply actions  

I guarantee the lurker:poster ratio is much higher than 4:1.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Jan 28, 2011 2:14 PM CST up reply actions  

I was speaking in terms of the female ratio.

I would estimate that the lurker:poster ratio for males would be closer to 15:1, at least.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 2:15 PM CST up reply actions  

Ah.

I could probably figure that out, but it would take far too long and I’m not that interested. So, sure, let’s go with those numbers.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Jan 28, 2011 2:21 PM CST up reply actions  

I was lurking since the beginning of 2008 fb season...

Just joined this week. I think there are a LOT of lurkers out there…

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 10:46 AM CST up reply actions  

Would be an interesting

sociological experiment to find out. Not sure how one would go about it though.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 11:39 AM CST up reply actions  

We have a ton more registered members than we do regular posters.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Jan 28, 2011 2:13 PM CST up reply actions  

I missed the gender bit.

But we probably could determine that, although it would be exceedingly tedious work.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Jan 28, 2011 2:22 PM CST up reply actions  

Yeah

and this whole thing really isn’t worth more than about .0003 seconds worth of work.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 2:31 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm a big enough nerd

that “exceedingly tedious work” sounds to me like a job that just requires a pot of tea and the Daft Punk discography.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 3:12 PM CST up reply actions  

Except tedious exercising?

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 3:42 PM CST up reply actions  

Tedious exercising, not so much

but it would still be helpful to have a Daft Punk soundtrack

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 4:38 PM CST up reply actions  

My husband is 7 years older than me...

… and I’ve only dated one guy who was younger than me, and it was a PITA. I prefer older men, but if I was really into someone I wouldn’t have a problem with the age thing. I just turned 27.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 27, 2011 10:34 PM CST up reply actions  

My parents were very young when they had me...

And my brother came shortly after me. My husband is actually closer in age to my mother than he is to me. It’s only one year, but hey, it gets him excited… He’s 9 years older than me.

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 7:18 AM CST up reply actions  

That was totally my nickname in little league

I loved my coaches. When I was in 4th grade, we got names on the back of our jersey tees. So I have (had) a shirt with PITA on the back of it.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 10:19 AM CST up reply actions  

People Inserting Things in Animals

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 2:53 AM CST up reply actions  

People Iffy on the Treatment of Animals

I’m a member.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 29, 2011 10:09 AM CST up reply actions  

People Iffy on the Treatment of Animals

I’m a member.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 29, 2011 10:09 AM CST up reply actions  

Is that you Michael Vick?

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 31, 2011 11:18 AM CST up reply actions  

Half your age plus 7

anything below that is too young.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:11 AM CST up reply actions  

Even if it is still considered statutory?

Because I’m not okay with the whole “rape with consent” thing. (17 for me)

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 10:20 AM CST up reply actions  

Rule obviously adjusts

to keep you in compliance with all local ordinances. And also convenience. For example, when I was 26, I would never consider dating a 20 year-old because I didn’t want the hassle of having to worry about fake IDs and which bars she could or could not get into.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:23 AM CST up reply actions  

Good point with the 20 year old thing

That’s gonna change for me in just a matter of months.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 10:25 AM CST up reply actions  

Admittedly

it wasn’t much of a problem. Until I when back to law school. And the undergrads at W&L are HOT while the girls in the law school were….well, let’s just say that there’s a reason the phrase “law school hot” was invented.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:27 AM CST up reply actions  

I don't think it's going to be a problem either

All my roommates are going to be of age and the bar scene here is about as good as the athletic scene in Ames.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 10:34 AM CST up reply actions  

W&L = Washington & Lee?

Only in Virginia do we put those two together on the name of a school.

by brock_tune on Jan 28, 2011 10:46 AM CST up reply actions  

Yes

It does make sense, however. Given that it was Augustana College, then Washington College then Washington and Lee College then Washington and Lee University. Washington was a major benefactor (a small portion of each student’s tuition is covered by the endowment created by his gift) which led to the first renaming. Then Lee served as president until his death, and is largely responsible for most of the traditions and principles at the school.

Note, I was told by an administrator there very seriously that one NEVER uses an ampersand between Washington and Lee – gotta love the South’s over infatuation with formality.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 11:43 AM CST up reply actions  

I had forgotten Lee was president there

But it does make sense how the name came about. It just always amused me to think about those two together without thinking about the context. It fits into that neat bag of Virginia quirkiness that for a while gave us a Lee/Jackson/King holiday.

by brock_tune on Jan 28, 2011 11:56 AM CST up reply actions  

For a long time

it was Lee-Jackson Day and NOT MLK Day. Favorite story from law school regarding this: first year, there is the annual parade through the town in honor of Lee-Jackson Day (Jackson taught at VMI which is also in Lexington, thus making the day an especially big day in LexVegas) concluding with a service in Lee Chapel on campus. The entire school was sent an email informing students of the activities with the reminder that guns were not permitted inside of Lee Chapel and would have to be checked at the door. I knew I was in a different world when I was in a place where people had to be reminded that guns do not belong in a church.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:10 PM CST up reply actions  

Surprised it's not "Lee and Washington," quite frankly.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 12:00 PM CST up reply actions  

That wouldn't be proper etiquette

and if there is one thing Southern “gentlemen” LOVE, it is proper etiquette.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:07 PM CST up reply actions  

LADIES (And PackerHawk), CHECK OUT THESE HOT, TALL COLLEGE QUARTERBACKS:

"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer

by ReadingRambler on Jan 27, 2011 2:14 PM CST reply actions  

What the hell is a brown bagger?

Or do I want to know?

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 27, 2011 10:30 PM CST up reply actions  

have to put a bag over their head to be able to fuck em

universal term, not a gay one. Though now I’m thinking of what would be a fun gay-themed definition

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 10:36 PM CST up reply actions  

I once knew a girl named six-pack for the same reason.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 27, 2011 10:45 PM CST up reply actions  

Beer goggles

"GO HAWKS!" - only cure for Hawkeye Envy

by BentNotBroken on Jan 27, 2011 11:02 PM CST up reply actions  

I'd need a six-pack just to get the urge to plow her...

biblically speaking, of course.

Pretty enough. But man was she stupid.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 27, 2011 11:05 PM CST up reply actions  

Oh. I thought you meant she HAD a six-pack.

I had no idea why you’d need to put a bag over her head.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 27, 2011 11:07 PM CST up reply actions  

Bag 'cause he or she is ugly

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 27, 2011 11:14 PM CST up reply actions  

Beauty is only a light switch away.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:13 AM CST up reply actions   1 recs

Pic does not apply here

This post is the “Cute QB’s of the NCAA” edition

by brock_tune on Jan 27, 2011 7:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Looking at your sig...

My porn name is Christina Chesterfield, which is also the pen name under which I translate Japanese gay erotica. And I just now realized I never mentioned I also do that.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 28, 2011 9:45 AM CST up reply actions  

Holy shit

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 28, 2011 11:03 AM CST up reply actions  

Immoral Darkness.

Huh. Interesting.

"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer

by ReadingRambler on Jan 28, 2011 12:52 PM CST up reply actions  

You are such a badass.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 1:00 PM CST up reply actions  

That's pretty sweet.

Thanks for sharing.

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:46 PM CST up reply actions  

How the Hell is this not rec'd?

Ridiculous.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 2:55 AM CST up reply actions  

By the time she posted this

The thread had jumped man a shark and it was accepted as normal in context

by PackerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 3:41 AM CST up reply actions  

Yes

Although I’m old-fashioned and only have sex when in a committed, monogamous relationship. Not old-fashioned enough to save myself for marriage though.

by PackerHawk on Jan 31, 2011 12:11 AM CST up reply actions  

Well, hell!

If we are sharing porn names, I’m also known as Dixie Firecracker..

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 10:47 AM CST up reply actions  

Mine's an old rugby name -- that just kind of stuck.

The saying was “No names…” It’s better that no one know your real name.

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 11:03 AM CST up reply actions  

I have the same rule for dating

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:32 PM CST up reply actions  

Sounds like some of the guys I hung out with in college...

Major rule of the house was absolutely no names. Then it becomes personal.

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 12:37 PM CST up reply actions  

No names and no eye-contact

Wait, those are my rules for children

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:38 PM CST up reply actions  

Well you could have one too

It’s either a porn name or your name if you should ever pose in Playboy—your dog/pet’s name and the street you grew up on (or some other street that works in case it’s ‘10th St’ or something).

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 11:07 AM CST up reply actions  

Yeah, "Ed A Avenue" is pretty lame.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 11:13 AM CST up reply actions  

Better than

“Thackery 40th”

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 11:45 AM CST up reply actions  

Yeah, my last name would be "Anne".

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 29, 2011 2:57 AM CST up reply actions  

Eddie A has a certain charm to it.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 29, 2011 10:10 AM CST up reply actions  

Either Wolverine Marquette or Buddy Elmwood

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:33 PM CST up reply actions  

The official formula is middle name + city you were born in.

I’ve also heard name of first pet plus name of road yo grew up on, which means I would be Babe Hopewell.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 28, 2011 11:02 AM CST up reply actions  

Whoa, I have never hear the middle name + city you were born in

Mine would not be good. Allison Des Moines. I prefer Lana Westwood. Plus you can’t really go wrong with ‘wood’ in a porn name.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 11:09 AM CST up reply actions  

Robert Dogwood

BOOM

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Jan 28, 2011 8:43 PM CST up reply actions  

Wilson Spencer.

Sounds like the star of some really filthy British scat porn.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Jan 29, 2011 10:29 AM CST up reply actions  

Hmmm...

Michael Cedar Rapids.
 
Nope. Still lame.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 11:13 AM CST up reply actions  

God damnit Bucketo. That’d be my fucking name!!

by txhawkeye on Jan 28, 2011 8:13 PM CST up reply actions  

I like the second one

Brody Randall

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 11:15 AM CST up reply actions  

That makes me "Porter Heidelberg"

I guess I would have to exclusively do British porn.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 11:46 AM CST up reply actions  

Most boring of all the porns

And I would have figured German

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:34 PM CST up reply actions  

Whatever

I’m not doing shit-porn. A guy’s got to have his limits.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 1:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Ya

That reminds me of the 3 girls one cup video. I still have yet to see more than 10 sec of that video. Way too disgusting.

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 2:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Allegedly John Mayer is really into it

And had Jessica Simpson involved in it.
Gossip/d

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 2:07 PM CST up reply actions  

I'll buy that

As long as it doesn’t involve the Iowa football team, I’m totally into spreading/making up gossip about random celebrities. And Jessica Simpson is so desparate for ANYONE to love her, that I can see her be into some really weird stuff.

Did you know that Rob Schneider hires an illegal Mexican immigrant just to strangle him in the shower?

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 2:11 PM CST up reply actions  

I always went with

street you grew up on followed by first car

Zola Cavalier at your service.

"If you're easily offended, we thank you for stopping by but ask that you turn your browser elsewhere." -- BHGP Disclaimer

by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Jan 28, 2011 11:47 AM CST up reply actions  

OH MAN

Randall Grand Am. Win.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 12:00 PM CST up reply actions  

A Avenue Taurus.

Ugh.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 12:02 PM CST up reply actions  

Could be Toreass as I used to call mine

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:34 PM CST up reply actions  

This is mine if it was street you lived on now and car you drive now.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 1:45 PM CST up reply actions  

40th Alliance

Ugh. Numbered street and a Renault: a combination made in porn hell.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:12 PM CST up reply actions  

Marquette Lexus

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:35 PM CST up reply actions  

5th Beretta

I like it…

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Jan 28, 2011 1:03 PM CST up reply actions  

Brook Honda.

Ugh.

"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer

by ReadingRambler on Jan 28, 2011 1:12 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm willing to trade my name to a female.

I mean, that’s not bad, but for my gender being incorrect.

"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer

by ReadingRambler on Jan 28, 2011 1:12 PM CST up reply actions  

My grandma’s name is probably Park Oldsmobile.

"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer

by ReadingRambler on Jan 28, 2011 1:16 PM CST up reply actions  

Not Park Model T?

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:24 PM CST up reply actions  

Whitefox Lemans

that’s real nice.

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:51 PM CST up reply actions  

Locust 6000?

I guess I need to join OutKast.

You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Jan 28, 2011 1:59 PM CST up reply actions  

Hahahaha...love it.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 2:05 PM CST up reply actions  

Logan Alliance

Does it still count if you only owned your first car for less than a month and didn’t even make a payment on it?

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 2:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Yeah. An Alliance Convertible.

Maroon with a tan top and tan interior.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 2:53 PM CST up reply actions  

Hmmm...

ToddVan Welshcedarrapids.
 
Fuck. Still lame.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 12:06 PM CST up reply actions  

No, yours would be...

VanTodd WelshCed.

I wrote the formula wrong.
1st syll last name+ 1st syll first name; 1st syll mother’s maiden name + 1st syll city you were born in.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 28, 2011 12:09 PM CST up reply actions  

If we keep going with these

there will probably be enough information for someone to start stealing identities.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:14 PM CST up reply actions  

Oh, here's one: your gmail account + password.

Also could you wire some money to me? I’m in Nigeria right now.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 28, 2011 12:28 PM CST up reply actions   1 recs

The funny thing is

I actually know a Nigerian prince. The term “prince” is pretty widespread over there, pretty much any tribe/clan’s chieftan’s son is a “prince”

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:35 PM CST up reply actions  

I know a princess, she is really hot

Gotta love DC

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:36 PM CST up reply actions  

What kind of princess

there are so many more. European. African. Jewish American.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:37 PM CST up reply actions  

Not a J.A.P. I do know some

A Nigerian

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:39 PM CST up reply actions  

I assumed

I just wanted to make the J.A.P. joke

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:44 PM CST up reply actions  

I figured. I laughed in an outward manner "LIAOW'd"

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:49 PM CST up reply actions  

LIAOM'd (DAMN)

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:50 PM CST up reply actions  

Lemme see...

Andkau Kelmorrison.

The first part scares me.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 12:14 PM CST up reply actions  

Dean Webster

or Boots Whitefox here. Those are pretty tame.

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:48 PM CST up reply actions  

On the contrary

My hair is light and sparse and what hair I should have on my head I shave off, a la TMFS

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 3:28 PM CST up reply actions  

I posted this in a thread a few months ago

but my friend lives next door to a furry couple in a Chicago suburb. They have furry parties even. One night they happened to look out the window and wondered why the hell all these mascots were walking into the house next door.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 3:32 PM CST up reply actions  

I thought they were a myth

like most of the other stuff on Urban Dictionary

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 3:43 PM CST up reply actions  

Actually I didn't

until I looked on urban dictionary. The answer is no by the way. I really need to brush up on my fetish terms.

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 3:33 PM CST up reply actions  

This is the only sports blog that I know of

where something like

I really need to brush up on my fetish terms.

is completely acceptable, nay encouraged, due to the content of said blog

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Jan 28, 2011 3:39 PM CST up reply actions  

What about drag names?

First pet + mother’s maiden name.

I’m Skipper Blaesing, or Skipper Blazing if you prefer.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 3:13 PM CST up reply actions  

Barney Clark

’Course I am a girl, so that does seem like a drag king name, albeit a totally boring, IRS-working drag queen.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 3:28 PM CST up reply actions  

Boots Francis

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 3:29 PM CST up reply actions  

Angel Clay

I’m really not sure what to make of that one

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Jan 28, 2011 3:40 PM CST up reply actions  

Not following the rules, but...

I always thought that “Rita Book” would be a fun(ny) drag persona.

Related side note, one of my roommates is 1st cousins with Pandora Boxx from Drag Race.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 6:04 PM CST up reply actions  

I frigging LOVE that show...

Any guy that can be a prettier woman without lady part than I can with my lady lumps, I give major props to.

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 7:20 PM CST up reply actions  

Fuckin' McShay

“Locker is the elite of the Senior Bowl QB’s” Yep. Because overrated Pac 10 QBs work out so well. Is that why the most successful Pac 10 QB at the moment NEVER started in college?

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 27, 2011 2:26 PM CST reply actions  

LIterally JUST remembered Aaron Rogers.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 27, 2011 2:26 PM CST up reply actions  

Thank you for catching that

Speaking of smoking hot QBs…. Damn those blue eyes of his.

by PackerHawk on Jan 27, 2011 3:00 PM CST up reply actions  

I dunno

he reminds me of a kid I went to HS with that stunk like ass. I can’t get past that.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 27, 2011 3:13 PM CST up reply actions  

I bet DJK smells fantastic.

I think he takes verrrry good care of himself. Besides all that pesky drug shit.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 27, 2011 3:27 PM CST up reply actions  

He probably had to make himself smell really nice

to cover everything.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 27, 2011 3:29 PM CST up reply actions  

I would imagine he would too

He loves Gucci, and Louis Vuitton and shopping in general. Expensive taste.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 4:25 PM CST up reply actions  

Dunno why, but he strike me as a Burberry type.

Smells SO good on the right guy.

Sort of related side note, I’m totally digging Yves St. Laurant’s Nuit de L’Homme. So good.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 4:29 PM CST up reply actions  

Hmm, I'll have to check those out

I’m sort of old school in that I love Eternity (or Very Sexy for Him from Victoria’s Secret—if they still make that, it smells almost the same as Eternity). Seriously, I smell Eternity on a guy and my clothes go poof. It’s intoxicating.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 4:35 PM CST up reply actions  

I think they still make it,

Very Sexy For Him, that is. I LOVE it, BTW.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 4:59 PM CST up reply actions  

There's a Yankee Candle scent

That smells like that. Midnight something. I used to have a car freshener in that scent in college, and everytime someone went in my car they wondered who I just had in there because it smelled like a boy.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 5:04 PM CST up reply actions  

Hahaha...were we BFFs?

My girlfriends in undergrad and I called it “The Man Candle”.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 5:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Bleu de Chanel

It’s what I wear. It’s awesome.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 27, 2011 5:13 PM CST up reply actions  

His eyes are a beautiful blue...

but they’re always SO SUNKEN IN! The brooding look can be hot but it has its limits.

Drew Brees on the other hand….lawdy.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 4:54 PM CST up reply actions  

Brees only hot from one side, imo.

I don’t think Rodgers’ eyes are so sunken in, but I have a very prominent brow and somewhat deep set eyes, so I might be more tolerant of that trait.

by PackerHawk on Jan 27, 2011 9:43 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Scars are way hot.

My boo had a melanoma removed from his forehead this winter and was feeling pretty self-conscious about the scar it left behind. I told him that I think it makes him look badass.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 11:14 PM CST up reply actions  

I think it was a birthmark

Reminds me of the NFC Championship last year. I’m friends with a few Vikes fans and everytime they showed Brees without his helmet, they would say, “Hey Drew, you have shit on your….oh wait. Never mind.” And then the Vikings lost and I laughed.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 10:12 AM CST up reply actions  

"And then the Vikings lost and I laughed"

The ending of every Vikings season, no matter how good they are.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 2:00 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

I feel like a new kid at school

who sat down at the wrong lunch table.

Not hating, though. Just a fish out of water.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 27, 2011 3:21 PM CST reply actions  

You just described every trip I've ever made to the Fieldhouse.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 4:33 PM CST up reply actions  

Bar or gym?

I guess both might apply

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 4:43 PM CST up reply actions  

The bar.

I’m a gay guy…c’mon. The gym is like church to us.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 4:45 PM CST up reply actions  

I want to slit my wrists when thinking about going to church

But your point remains the same. I guess I was just thinking the Fieldhouse gym is not really a weights-type gym, it’s more a basketball gym.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 4:56 PM CST up reply actions  

Ha...shows what I know.

I never set foot into the Fieldhouse gym. I stuck to IC fitness until they started charging ass-rape fees to workout there.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 5:00 PM CST up reply actions  

The Loft used to be the busiest weight room on campus

The Rec Building had the most equipment and free weights though. The Fieldhouse was just the everything facility.

by PackerHawk on Jan 27, 2011 9:40 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

I was partially kidding

Plus, making blanket statements is always fun.

I actually hate going to the gym (other than the fact that mine is super gay and full of hotties) but my genetics make it an absolute necessity if I don’t want to end up looking like Sally Struthers.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 11:12 PM CST up reply actions  

Super gay? Like, with super powers and stuff?

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 27, 2011 11:27 PM CST up reply actions  

you know it.

You know how in musicals when everybody starts breaking into song and dance spontaneously and they all know the words/steps? Yeah, that’s no accident. It’s ingrained into our DNA. It’s just science.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 11:37 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Well, you can't argue with science.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 27, 2011 11:46 PM CST up reply actions  

Something I've always wondered about

and figured this is the place to ask: gay guys in the locker room, how do you not stare and ogle? Seriously, I don’t understand it. There are more than a couple gay guys who work out at my gym (I live in Richmond, VA so it ain’t exactly San Fran here) and it never occurs to me at the time, but then I realize they could be eye-fucking the hell out of me while I change. Well, ok, maybe not me, but others in the locker room. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging and certianly don’t blame them if they do (hell, I can only imagine what I’d be like if I were let loose in the women’s locker room), I’ve just always wondered how you can keep it under control in what is almost a one-stop shop.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:21 AM CST up reply actions  

Hmmmm

I don’t really think about it too much. I mean, if a guy is hot…a guy is hot. To say that I wouldn’t catch a peak would be a lie. It helps to be in a gym that is predominantly gay, where “cruising” is to be expected so you don’t have to feel bad about stealing a glance. However, I hate working out (cardio…I’ve always enjoyed weight lifting) so I treat the place almost like I’m at work.

That said, why is it that some/most straight guys get weirded out if a gay guy check them out? I just don’t get it. If a straight girl checks me out, I am absolutely thrilled. It means I’m probably doing something right!

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 12:03 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm not weirded out

I really don’t think about it at all. I was just wondering how you all (gross generalizations are fun!) don’t treat the locker room as some sort of live-action nudie mag and stare. Because, again, I know I have no self-control and would if given the equivalent opportunity.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:17 PM CST up reply actions  

Well I suppose I know some gay men that do treat it that way...

But for most of us, the “funtimes staring at naked boys” to “getting my ass kicked in the gym alley outside” ratio isn’t nearly good enough to pull anything more than a passing glance.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 12:20 PM CST up reply actions  

I guess there is that factor

and I definitely see a number of Richmonders being of the type that would get overly angry. But I have to give you credit for controlling what seems to me to be an involuntary reaction. I mean, if a naked lady walks in/by I’m going to look, I couldn’t stop myself even if I tried.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:23 PM CST up reply actions  

That reminds me of previews for Hall Pass

Where Owen Wilson checks out a girl and his wife is like “Did you really just check her out?” Owen Wilson-“…..Do you think she noticed?” Then again, that’s why I’m glad I’m single. But I know this had nothing to do with your post.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 12:26 PM CST up reply actions  

This and then some

Stealing glances is much safer

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:47 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

I'll try an analogy. Let's see if it works.

The kid on my street that had candy easily accessible in his house all day wasn’t too interested in it as a regular occurence. Since he always had the availability, it was there if he was interested, but he kind of tuned it out if he wasn’t interested. Me, I went crazy and gorged myself every time I went to his house. Same kind of breakdown I’d expect if I was let loose in a women’s locker room.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 2:21 PM CST up reply actions  

Here's where your analogy breaks down

For many of us, it’s not obvious that we’re gay. Just another guy with a towel wrapped around his waist. You in a women’s locker room, a tad more obvious.

Also, I suspect that you might get beaten up if you were let loose to ogle in a women’s locker room. Which is what we fear for ogling too obviously in a men’s locker room.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 3:15 PM CST up reply actions  

FACT

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 10:48 AM CST up reply actions  

By the way...

It’s good to know that there’s family on BHGP. I’ve always assumed I was the only one.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 12:57 AM CST up reply actions  

Friends of Dorothy

are Friends of the Pants too. You have plenty of Allies here.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 6:07 AM CST up reply actions   2 recs

Word

"GO HAWKS!" - only cure for Hawkeye Envy

by BentNotBroken on Jan 28, 2011 7:34 AM CST up reply actions  

Ditto

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:24 AM CST up reply actions  

Oh I know that for sure

Everybody here has made me feel more than welcome and had my back on more than one occasion. I had been lurking here for 6 months or so before I decided to start posting a little over a year ago (still mostly lurk when it comes to hardcore football talk because I know my place…some of you guys/gals are incredibly smart. It’s better just to listen). I was impressed with the disclaimer before the open threads and I remember sending Jacboi a sort of thank you for recognizing us silly homogays in it. Things associated with sports aren’t always very accommodating. BHGP is refreshing.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 11:58 AM CST up reply actions  

We're glad you're here.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 12:03 PM CST up reply actions  

second'd

This place should be for anybody that loves the Hawkeyes. I think we are generally well-informed fans that refrain from rumor-mongering and are tolerant of others and their chosen lifestyle/opinions.

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:58 PM CST up reply actions  

When we originally conceived the site we intentionally made it open

to everyone and everything. There are so many misogynistic and homophobic sites that it’s sickening.

I’m glad you feel welcome.

Perhaps my best years are gone... but I wouldn't want them back. Not with the fire in me now. No, I wouldn't want them back.

twitter.com/jebushchrist

by jebushchrist on Jan 28, 2011 4:40 PM CST up reply actions  

I assumed that too until you mentioned your BF using your id to get into the student section

And Catnuts lives in WeHo, so he’s honorary family or something like that.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 6:31 AM CST via mobile up reply actions  

I am going to print this thread and show it to all of the people who tell me that Iowa/Iowans are backwooods

People just assume farmers and small thinking. This shit is great.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 9:29 AM CST up reply actions  

Well I was raised a farmer

and thinking makes my head hurt. Maybe they’re on to something…

;)

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 12:59 PM CST up reply actions  

Agreed

I feel like I’ve stumbled into a woman’s restroom, and overhearing whatever it is women talk about in bathrooms for so long.

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 27, 2011 4:34 PM CST up reply actions  

what has Locker ever accomplished? ever?

seriously, ever. hes a good kid but he is sooooo gonna be a bust.

by justsomehawkeyefan on Jan 27, 2011 3:32 PM CST reply actions  

It's on Saturday on the NFL Network

3pm CST

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 27, 2011 3:49 PM CST up reply actions  

Welcome

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 27, 2011 3:59 PM CST up reply actions  

Anyone with DirecTV gets it.

My DVR is already set.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 27, 2011 3:59 PM CST up reply actions  

East side of CR I'm guessing?

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 27, 2011 4:11 PM CST up reply actions  

Yeah, there's alot of the NE side that's wooded towards Edgewood.

Thankfully for me I’m closer to downtown so no satellite blockage.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 27, 2011 4:27 PM CST up reply actions  

NFL Network

If it’s in your area, ImOn with the digital package has NFL Network. I have the expanded package, am working toword upgrading,

by crhawkeye62 on Jan 28, 2011 8:24 AM CST up reply actions  

FUCK. We switched back to mediacom from IMON because they had a better deal for HD channels.

Also all the outages we had w imon were making me rage because they’d always happen the night before i had a big deadline.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 28, 2011 9:06 AM CST up reply actions  

Fuck Mediacom

that is all.

You may call me Don Diddles.

by ninerhawk on Jan 28, 2011 10:50 AM CST up reply actions  

This.

My ‘rents live on the NE side just off 380, and they are constantly having issues with Mediacom. It’s either pixelating or cutting out, and they just got new DVR’s and they cancel each other out even though they are in different rooms.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 1:54 PM CST up reply actions  

on a slightly related topic

NFL Red Zone channel on football Sundays is fantastic during the season. The host, Scott Hanson, is very attractive as well. I wish he would actually call games though. He’s much better than some of the hacks calling games (cough, Chris Collinsworth, cough).

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 27, 2011 4:32 PM CST up reply actions  

So, effectively

NO

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:25 AM CST up reply actions  

I know...

to the bar I go. I’m thankful that here in Ohio, I have another gf who is just as Stanzi enamored as well. Lucky bitch ran into him & his hottie dad at the movie theater over Christmas break.

by Hawkette on Jan 27, 2011 3:59 PM CST reply actions  

Speaking of hottie dad-son combos

Trey Stross and dad. What are they putting in the water in Ohio?

by PackerHawk on Jan 27, 2011 9:37 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

The females of BHGP are insane...

Kellen Moore is obviously the most attractive quarterback in college football.

by Schubial on Jan 27, 2011 6:43 PM CST reply actions  

He looks like Jaws from Bond

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 27, 2011 6:54 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Awesome

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 27, 2011 7:16 PM CST up reply actions  

Not a QB, but this is the future of Hawkeye hottttt.

Wish there was a better pic of him, but I can’t find one.

The lovely Aussie punter Jonny Mullings.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 27, 2011 10:40 PM CST up reply actions  

Did the googles

And I’m agreeing. All the photos are pretty small, but from what I see, I’m alright with that. Also, hearing that accent would be enough to send me over.

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 7:27 AM CST up reply actions  

I'll definitely check that out

Now that Ricky’s gone, I need another sweaty crush for the upcoming season.

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 8:59 AM CST up reply actions  

I checked it out

Damn, what it is about accents that is so damn sexy?! It never fails either. Admittedly, it’s not ALL accents, but Australian, British, South African, Spanish, etc accents are sexy as hell.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 10:56 AM CST up reply actions  

Totally agree

Even a southern drawl on the right guy

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:49 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Which Southern drawl?

If there’s one thing I’ve learned living in Virginia and dating girls from West Virginia, Tennessee, Georgia and Mississippi, it is that the Southern drawl is a many-headed and varied beast. All Aussies sound the same to me though (and yes, a girl with an Austrailian accent is as much a turn-on as I assume a guy is for the girls above, or you).

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 1:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Not the hillbilly appalachian one

Although that can work if he’s smoking hot. I really like the Nawlins one, and the mid-south urban (Lou-uh-vul, Nashvul) one.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:58 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

This.

Especially if he’s lean, muscular and in overalls. phew

Speaking of the Nawlins accent, that’s one of the big reasons I keep going back to Decadence. :)

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 2:03 PM CST up reply actions  

I was going to go into a tirade about how some accents are not sexy at all

But though I might offend some people. Some Southern accents make the person sound stupid and hick-ish and un-educated. Then there are the more dignified version that aren’t bad at all.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 1:52 PM CST up reply actions  

Ugh, every time I see him on TV

I cringe and have to close my eyes until I hear they are no longer talking about him.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 8:33 AM CST up reply actions  

If the term

“Mongoloid” hadn’t been invented yet, someone would have come up with it just to describe Kellen Moore.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 10:30 AM CST up reply actions  

God I love this website.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 27, 2011 7:13 PM CST reply actions  

100+ comments strong of Hot Or Not for Iowa Football players

Caring is creepy: Newer, bigger, stronger!

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 8:39 PM CST reply actions  

This was seriously, seriously meant to be Ricky Stanzi central.

I didn’t foresee the thread to take this turn. BUT I STILL LOVE IT HAHA

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 27, 2011 10:36 PM CST up reply actions  

Check that, 250+

This thing has taken on a life of its own. Its growing. It cannot be stopped!

by Swarley on Jan 28, 2011 11:23 AM CST up reply actions  

It has kind of devolved

into a random, stream-of-consciousness-like discussion. Which is much more fun than working.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 2:17 PM CST up reply actions  

i.e., a BHGP thread.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 3:05 PM CST up reply actions  

Agreed.

A week about one issue is more than enough for me.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 2:55 PM CST up reply actions  

I went and did some work and there were 255, just got out of a pointless meeting and there's over 500.

This has been one of the most interesting threads I have ever seen on the internet. You have ogling of football players, discussions of draft outlooks, gay locker room ettiquette, universal love of boobies, the merits of ferocious otters….oh look, SHINY OBJECT!

by Swarley on Jan 28, 2011 5:05 PM CST up reply actions  

So is this how we're going to spend our off-season?

Instead of making fake political ads for the Stanzi/Lehman ticket, we’re going to sit here and rate our hottest Hawkeyes?
Really guys? Just when I think you all can’t get and dumber, you go and do something like this, and completely redeem yourselves.
I would also like to say that while certainly many more handsome gentlemen will dawn a Hawkeye uniform, none, absolutely none, will be as beautifully stunning as the Flyin’ Hawaiian, Tony Teriyaki, TONY MO.

What a beautiful man.

by SallyMason on Jan 28, 2011 12:21 AM CST reply actions  

I guess we now know what makes our President's heart go pitter patter now.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 12:43 AM CST up reply actions  

Thick levels of throbbing bureaucracy?


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 6:09 AM CST up reply actions   2 recs

Not my type physically...

…but watching him pull off miraculous, high-flying catches for the Chiefs negates that. Mega hot.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 1:32 AM CST up reply actions  

Not to venture too close to politics

But the mormon thing is simultaneously a turn off and a turn on.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 6:33 AM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Mmm, yes please

Tony Mo is totally hot. Totally my type too. He’s the strong, quite kind. I like it.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 8:30 AM CST up reply actions  

totally hot.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 12:03 PM CST up reply actions  

He ended up getting the middle one's sister pregnant?

I keed, I keed.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:18 PM CST up reply actions  

WHERE'S THE BRYCE SIGNAL?

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 12:33 PM CST up reply actions   2 recs

That made me spit soda all over my monitor.

thanks.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 12:36 PM CST up reply actions  

Deliciously timely and appropriate

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 2:24 PM CST up reply actions  

Oh yes.

Although he was kind of a dick after the 2000 Michigan State game , albeit he kind of deserved to be.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 10:59 AM CST up reply actions  

Those dirty thoughts had absolutely nothing to do with his personality

Ran into him at Food Service once — can’t scream douchebag loud enough?

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 11:02 AM CST up reply actions  

It's true

It’s always disappointing when you meet someone and when they open their mouth their hotness goes down dramatically.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 11:06 AM CST up reply actions  

I just have to say

Your avatar is fucking incredible. Fantastic work.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 11:06 AM CST up reply actions  

Thanks -- I like me some photoshop...

I want to put my signature as “My hawk itches” or “Doctor, while you are in there, can you pierce my hawk” , but hawk sounds so very close to cock and don’t know if anyone would get the smurfy SNL reference.

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 11:31 AM CST up reply actions  

With a fleshy Trident apparently.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 11:07 AM CST up reply actions  

You might wanna lay low for a little bit...

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 12:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Great, now I MUST watch Anchorman this weekend

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 12:42 PM CST up reply actions  

Since this is a busy thread

I want to ask. I just went to CF to do my daily trolling and someone reported we were maybe getting Pro Combat and someone said they look cool. Now it is CF so I wouldn’t be surprised if they were just talking about some concept art someone put up as an idea. But has anyone heard/seen anything relevant? They said Mas Casa mentioned it.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 12:10 PM CST reply actions  

Yep. It's on the Twitters.

Mas Casa, DiNico Law, Torrey Campbell… They’re all tweeting about it.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 12:13 PM CST up reply actions  

Sweet

I went to Mas Casa’s twitter and couldn’t decipher anything since I’m not Twitter-literate. They better be fucking sweet or Winged throw backs. Those are my two requirements.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 12:15 PM CST up reply actions  

Pro Combat

per Mas Casa

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 12:28 PM CST up reply actions  

That's too bad

But based on some of the horrendous failures, I’m not too crushed. Flat Black helmets woulda been sweet though.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 12:47 PM CST up reply actions  

I would love to see the matte black helmets.

Oregon’s yellow/black combo is my favorite of their batch and the matte black helmet is incredible.

by The Mexican't on Jan 28, 2011 3:00 PM CST up reply actions  

Thanks, buddy. I knew I forgot to summarize the tweet.

I was so excited to finally figure out how to link specific tweets.

Although, I’m not certain if they meant that the choices are done in June for the upcoming season or if they were made LAST June?

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:09 PM CST up reply actions  

Well, this thread is definitely more worthwhile than the Pro Bowl.

"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer

by ReadingRambler on Jan 28, 2011 12:55 PM CST reply actions  

Pro Bowl? What's that?

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 12:55 PM CST up reply actions  

They still play the game?

I thought it was just a free vacation for the players and their families…

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Jan 28, 2011 1:08 PM CST up reply actions  

It's an argument in favor of the bowl systems

right?

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 1:02 PM CST reply actions  

D'OH!

Should be in resopnse to Energizer directly above.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 1:02 PM CST up reply actions  

This thread has everything!

It has great inclusion of all our members, talk of boobs, photoshop awesome, pornstar names, boob talk, geographic demographic dissection, topical football analysis.

Oh, and boobs.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 1:13 PM CST reply actions  

Yes, I rec'd the post just for that reason.

It’s almost better than a live thread.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:14 PM CST up reply actions  

Another productive Friday for HoyaGoon

and I get to leave early today. It’s win-win.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 1:20 PM CST up reply actions  

Not I. Lucky you.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 1:29 PM CST up reply actions  

Had One class at 11.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 1:31 PM CST up reply actions  

Comment like this one make me loathe PM shifts...

…as if I didn’t have enough reason already.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 1:31 PM CST up reply actions  

Try having Wed-Thurs as your nights off

And then kicking off your work week with a 1800-0600 Friday night shift. FML

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:53 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Holy shit man...

I guess I shouldn’t complain. I’m generally M-F 1500-2330. Every once in a while I have to pull a Friday evening and then a 0700-1530 the next morning. Balls. Guess that’s what I get for working at a hospital.

Perpetually living between the click of a light and the start of a dream.

by hawkeyeguy85 on Jan 28, 2011 2:00 PM CST up reply actions  

Been there, Done that.

Those definetly suck.

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 2:01 PM CST up reply actions  

Typical straight man

There were like 3 boobs comments but your synopsis is 1/3rd titties.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:54 PM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Ahh, it's an inverse relationship.

If there were 10 boob comments, then the synopsis would have been 1/10th titties, right?

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 1:58 PM CST up reply actions  

There was a discussion of things other than boobs?

Hmm, must not have noticed.

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 28, 2011 2:02 PM CST up reply actions  

Of course there was.

Porn names

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 28, 2011 2:07 PM CST up reply actions  

Banned? No. But it definitely would have been retitled.

Although it probably would have gotten us a shit-ton of pageviews.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Jan 28, 2011 2:28 PM CST up reply actions  

How much of this thread has actually been devoted to Stanzi?

I did a cursory check, and found 11 posts that had to do with Mr. Ricky Stanzi. Out of 425+ comments, that is 2.6% and decreasing every time someone posts a non-Stanzi related comment. Awesome job.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 2:31 PM CST up reply actions  

Stanzi likes titties

annndddd…..GO

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 2:34 PM CST up reply actions  

Well, that's definitely American of him

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 3:45 PM CST up reply actions  

It would be slightly redeeming after his take on “hippies”.

by txhawkeye on Jan 28, 2011 8:38 PM CST up reply actions  

Hippies with titties ...

Stanzi encounters an internal dichotomy.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 28, 2011 8:43 PM CST up reply actions  

Who?


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 3:06 PM CST up reply actions  

And?

Also, I was just watching Total Recall.

Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel

by C.I.owA on Jan 28, 2011 2:06 PM CST up reply actions  

Back on topic...

Locker will be the starting QB for the N Squad tomorrow, and Stanzi will be the backup QB.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 28, 2011 3:44 PM CST reply actions  

LONG LIVE ERIC DECKER.

That is all.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Shelby

twitter.com/dmbmeg

by dmbmeg on Jan 28, 2011 4:36 PM CST reply actions  

Holy Balls!

He looks dirty… In a very naughty, naughty way…

by Hawkette on Jan 28, 2011 4:55 PM CST up reply actions  

Are fan posts eligible for Marchifornication?

I forsee a final four showdown between this and Pelican Whore

by brock_tune on Jan 28, 2011 4:58 PM CST reply actions  

If that's the case

It would almost have to qualify stanzi’s ex for Poster of the Year.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 5:51 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm pretty sure she came up with the picture of Pelican Whore too...

I think it’s a slam-dunk.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 6:47 PM CST up reply actions  

Exactly my point.

Cyclone Fanatic: The pain of herpes without the lesions.

by Pain in the Sash on Jan 28, 2011 7:16 PM CST up reply actions  

Absolutely

Especially all dressed in his finery, which includes the Hawkeye uniform. Damn shame they won’t let him wear the Tigerhawk helmet at the Texas vs. the Nation game.

by HawkgirlSTL on Jan 28, 2011 5:30 PM CST up reply actions  

Uhh, you might want to go to twitter

He’s shirtless in his current avatar pic.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 7:59 PM CST up reply actions  

DJK or AY?

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 28, 2011 8:17 PM CST up reply actions  

Mr. J-K.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 8:25 PM CST up reply actions  

HA, too bad you can't do the same with Mr. Stanzi!

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 8:43 PM CST up reply actions  

Probably so.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 9:15 PM CST up reply actions  

Hmmm...

Well, I did used to have long hair, so… correlation?
 
Probably.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 9:19 PM CST up reply actions  

He used to have long hair too

So I’m sure he’d say that long hair does not necessarily a hippie make.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 9:39 PM CST up reply actions  

Yeeeeah...

But was (haha, “was”) a pretty big hippie. A metalhead hippie, but a hippie none the less.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 28, 2011 9:42 PM CST up reply actions  

Metalhead hippie?

Does not compute. I was a raver hippie myself. But if it wasn’t techno it was folk in my CD player back then.

by PackerHawk on Jan 28, 2011 9:59 PM CST up reply actions  

how often did you go to The Peaceful Fool during the semester?

15? 25?

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here!" Shelby

twitter.com/dmbmeg

by dmbmeg on Jan 28, 2011 10:14 PM CST up reply actions  

Zero,

because I did not get learned up over’t the college in Iowa City, but somewheres else.


"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth

by Bucketochicken on Jan 29, 2011 8:47 AM CST up reply actions  

DJK's new avatar on twitter:


I’M GONNA MAKE LOVE TO YA WOMAN GONNA LAY YA DOWN BY THE FIAH
AND CARESS YOUR WOMANLY BODAY MAKE YA MOAN AND PERSPIAHHH

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 29, 2011 8:06 PM CST up reply actions  

I hate having a zillion pillows on the bed. What is up with that? 4 pillows is more than enough.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 8:24 PM CST up reply actions  

your penis is showing

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 29, 2011 8:29 PM CST up reply actions  

What?

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 8:41 PM CST up reply actions  

That's a very "male" point of view

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 29, 2011 9:13 PM CST up reply actions  

Now my turn

What?

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 29, 2011 9:39 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm not a woman, so I have no fucking clue what their point of view might be on that picture.

The above comment was my assumption of what the female point of view on the picture might be.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 29, 2011 9:43 PM CST up reply actions  

Yeah. Too many pillows.

I’m going to bed or making babies, not bunkering in against a mortar attack.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 29, 2011 10:45 PM CST up reply actions  

Yeah, unless I'm pregnant all i'm gonna do is throw all those pillows on the floor.

But if I am pregnant, I will use them in many ways. With DJK. And that body. God he is fucking delicious.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 30, 2011 12:06 AM CST up reply actions  

I do not think that word means what you think it means
point of view

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 30, 2011 5:37 PM CST up reply actions  

Perhaps viewpoint would be better?

Unless you’ve got a better suggestion?

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 30, 2011 7:09 PM CST up reply actions  

I believe

That you’re thinking “point of view” means the same as “point of interest”, but while the literal translations may be similar they do not mean even close to the same thing. English is funny that way with some phrases, like the phrase “look out” which means the exact opposite: duck, cover, and shield your eyes.

“point of view” is probably best described as “a mental position from which things are viewed”. Like the phrase: We should consider this topic from the point of view of the Russians. You put yourselves in another’s shoes and see the world as they would. You’re using it more like “point of interest”, where you’re thinking what might draw the attention of somebody else.

/do not intend to be condescending, but realize it can read that way and too lazy to go back and change.

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 30, 2011 8:05 PM CST up reply actions  

Yes, my point of view on the picture was on the pillows, as I had no interest in the half naked dude.

I assume the state of the female point of view might be influenced by the previously stated half-naked dude. But yes, English sucks. I could sign what I’m trying to say more simply with American Sign Language, and I suspect that another language might be better at conveying my thoughts better. Mea culpa!

By the way, thanks for the input. It is good to know how people are perceiving what one types. I had intended “point of view” to mean “the perspective from which, one would assess this scene,” which is very close to your description.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 30, 2011 8:27 PM CST up reply actions  

No, he's not very Choco.

I sleep with this:

Cuz I like to hold onto something when I sleep.

by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 31, 2011 9:03 AM CST up reply actions  

You lead an interesting life

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 31, 2011 9:12 AM CST up reply actions  

Besides your hubby's weiner

after the Insight Bowl, of course.

Templeton Rye'd the Lightning.

by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Jan 31, 2011 8:08 PM CST up reply actions  

I know who chococat is

I went through a Hello Kitty phase (not my finest hour). I’m sure chococat is glad your hubby is home so you won’t hump him while you hold him tonight.

by PackerHawk on Jan 31, 2011 11:59 PM CST up reply actions  

Wait, wait, wait!

Hello Kitty has a character named Chococat?

If that’s true, that seems kind of racist, unless the cat was a chocolate aficionado.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Feb 1, 2011 12:48 AM CST up reply actions  

There are four pillows and two cats and one wife in my bed most nights when I finally make it there.

Three of those things are unceremoniously pushed onto the floor. I’ll leave the details to your imagination.

by The Final Gun on Jan 31, 2011 1:31 AM CST up reply actions  

I'm hoping it's two pillows and whichever cat isn't in your avatar

Because that cat is awesome for putting up with wearing what may be the only acceptable pet apparel I’ve ever seen.

by PackerHawk on Jan 31, 2011 1:36 AM CST up reply actions  

Random picture on the Internet, but one of my cats looks just like that.

He’s my preferred cat. The other is sort of an auxiliary pet.

I should probably go do the bed thing.

by The Final Gun on Jan 31, 2011 1:52 AM CST up reply actions  

Chocolate Salty Balls also would be appropriate

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 30, 2011 6:33 PM CST up reply actions  

This thread is truly incredible.

I feel honored to be in its presence.

So what if I tailgate to the NPR jazz station?

by hkobb7 on Jan 30, 2011 4:32 PM CST reply actions  

Now I'm disappointed I missed this over the weekend...

How did this not get bumped? Nevertheless, it’s a great way to start my week. Thanks guys (and girls)!

by Kinnick Stadium is my Graceland on Jan 31, 2011 9:54 AM CST reply actions  

Wow. So much information, so little time.

"I'm gonna give you assholes a chance. What do you say we play a little Bangkok Rules?" ~ Snake Plissken

by The Bird Cult on Feb 2, 2011 11:27 AM CST reply actions  

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