POLL: What Will Happen To Iowa Football Next?
by RossWB on Jan 26, 2011 12:40 PM CST
in Iowa Hawkeyes Football
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Just when you think there can't possibly be any more bad publicity* coming down the road for the Iowa football team, the college football gods spit in your face and give you the middle finger. The amount of shit to fall on this program in the last few months is staggering. Between Druggate, the loss of three running backs to transfers/dismissals, Cedric Everson's sexual assault trial, and now Rhabdomyolysisgate, there's been no shortage of weird and just plain bad news to hit the Iowa football program. Frankly, we were much happier talking about Ricky Stanzi's patriotism, Girls Generation, and HOCKEYBEAR.
But clearly Iowa has done something to rile up the college football gods (and not just our usual bogeyman, AIRBHG, either). So what's next?
* And, to be clear, we're certainly glad that it seems like all this latest episode is going to amount is another epic pile of bad P.R. for the university and the football team. By all accounts, the afflicted players are recovering and will be fine, which is certainly the most important thing.
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All of the Above. Seriously, this is my attitude right now. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear about any or all of these things happening.
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
Other
Report that Ken O’Keefe mysteriously begins losing toes. Doctor diagnose the toes losses as self-inflicted in an effort to improve his play-calling and engender greater fan sympathy.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
by StoopsMyAss on Jan 26, 2011 12:54 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
Other
AIRBHG has consumed enough energy that he had transformed into AIFBHG, a much more powerful diety who preys on entire teams and not just running backs.
by Hank Thrasher on Jan 26, 2011 1:01 PM CST via mobile reply actions
Transmorgified into a greater deity?
We haven’t seen that since Gozer the Gozerian!
by HawkeyeRecon on Jan 26, 2011 9:14 PM CST up reply actions
Nimble little minx, in't she?
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 26, 2011 11:42 PM CST up reply actions
Diamond smuggling ring was a close guess.
Ferentz and Jacobi use the players as galley slaves as part of a human smuggling ring from China.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
I knew that "working for CBS" thing was just a cover and that Jacobi was secretly getting up to no-good.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I voted for diamond smuggling ring.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 26, 2011 11:43 PM CST up reply actions
I'm pretty sure the next thing that happens is we get our Talisman stolen.
by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 26, 2011 1:08 PM CST reply actions
OK, it's killing me that I can't place where that's from.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Red Sonja.
I figured no one would get it but I had to post it anyway.
by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 26, 2011 4:58 PM CST up reply actions
I was going to guess BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES, but I didn't think that was right.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Oh, I knew what it was right away
just thought it was an extremely random reference. Which means it fit in perfectly around here.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Red Sonja: great movie or greatest movie?
Oh, wait. I forgot about Beastmaster.
by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 27, 2011 10:17 AM CST up reply actions
Wow.
And, you’re right.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 26, 2011 11:44 PM CST up reply actions
Other: 1-11 record in 2011; Beat Penn State by 30.
--
A T-bone steak, cheese, eggs, and Welch's grape.
@scrappled
Slow States - Football, music, craft beer, and podcasts with an industrial slant.
by Run Up The Score on Jan 26, 2011 1:12 PM CST reply actions
There are probably people on the PSU blogosphere who totally believe that.
Of course, I think Ferentz has a self-destruction chip preventing him from beating PSU by more than 30.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 26, 2011 1:58 PM CST up reply actions
Coker is really hairy
When will the NCAA admit that it is a business with the sole purpose for making money off of student athletes?
Mark 16:15-18
Other.
Well, it involved lawyers, guns and flesh-eating bacteria, and the discovery of a certain cross-dressing offensive coordinator dolled-up in a Pelican suit over in back-alley Tokyo. But then I began to think, Nah, that could actually happen too, and therefore it isn’t so funny.
We play tackle football, most of the time.
On that Flesh Eating Bacteria Thingy
I have a good friend – champion triathlete – who came close to dying of that stuff. She was out run training on a trail back in October, fell, cut open her left knee. They stitched it up, this was a Friday, by Monday, her leg was swollen all to hell. She spent time in the ICU, on a breather, several surgeries, she’s had grafts… didn’t lose the leg, they did have to take out a small set of muscles in the back of her leg that shouldn’t interfere with her running or biking. She won’t be able to defend her Eppie’s Great Race title this year (she won the overall women’s in 2009 and 2010) but she’s walking around her house again and she may be released to bicycle shortly.
They think the only reason she didn’t lose the leg was because she’s in awesome shape, and stubborn as hell. Necrotic Fasciitis is not something I’d wish on my worst enemy…
"I'm gonna give you assholes a chance. What do you say we play a little Bangkok Rules?" ~ Snake Plissken
by The Bird Cult on Jan 26, 2011 2:01 PM CST up reply actions
You have a thing for women with diseases, don't you?
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 26, 2011 11:45 PM CST up reply actions
They're easier to club and drag away
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 9:54 AM CST up reply actions
That Marcus Coker thing
is just another reason to schedule more night games.
With the shutdown of DJK's drug dealing operation
Many of the football players had to find an alternative source of income. So they turned to driving IBP “recruitment vans” up from the Mexican border, and came down with wicked cases of dehydration as a result of Montezuma’s Revenge.
by DrHenryKillinger on Jan 26, 2011 1:22 PM CST reply actions
Nothing to worry about
what can possibly go wrong; next season will be Beautiful, Beautiful!!!
"You’re talking about things that are real. That’s real. In those other dual meets, it wasn’t real, but now it’s real." ~ Tom Brands regarding the Iowa State dual.
If you can keep him on a med schedule ...
there’s a real tactical advantage to having a werewolf at RB. If you can keep him on a med schedule.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Jan 26, 2011 1:27 PM CST reply actions
Charlie Weis would have won a national title if he had been able to recruit a weRBewolf.
/decided schematic advantage.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 26, 2011 11:47 PM CST up reply actions
Other
The NCAA slaps a "Lack of Institutional Control" penalty on Iowa Football, which the University appeals. During the appellate hearing, Jimmy Collins bursts through the door madly waving a late-1980s model hand-held tape recorder, and raving about evidence of conspiracies and frame-ups and deep secrets in the Iowa athletic program as he runs toward NCAA president Mark Emmert’s table at the front of the room. He’s tackled by the bailiffs before he can get there, but not before hurling the tape recorder at Ferentz and screaming, "I KNOW YOUR SECRETS YOU EVIL SOULLESS SONZABITCHES!" The tape recorder flies through the air and hits Ferentz square in the chest, rupturing his skin to reveal that he’s made entirely of bees.
The bees disengage from the human form they’d collectively taken for so long and fly out of the empty husk of Ferentz-skin, leaving it a crumpled, eyeless heap on the courtroom floor. Rapidly-cooling saliva glints dully off the wad of gum hanging limp out of the Ferentz-husk’s mouth like the tongue of a long-dead hooker left to rot in a New Orleans dumpster. The bees swarm the area, immediately stinging to death everyone present (save Mas Casa, who manages to hide underneath the swollen, envenomated corpse of Pat Harty just long enough to escape notice by the bees). The bees, finally free to wreak the havoc they’ve so desperately craved these many years, crash through the courthouse doors onto the icy streets of Indianapolis, killing all in their wake. The bees, having grown more powerful than ever before, blot out the sun as the swarm moves northwest towards Evanston, the image of Pat Fitzgerald reverberating through the bees’ collective consciousness, anger and hatred filling their tiny furry bodies, giving them strength and pushing them toward the inevitable battle that awaits, a swath of death and destruction left in their wake.
Sally Mason, left with no choice, immediately promotes Ken O’Keefe to Head Coach of Iowa Football.
"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth
by Bucketochicken on Jan 26, 2011 1:31 PM CST reply actions 12 recs
Whoa.
Have you been hanging out with DRUGS by chance?
by Hank Thrasher on Jan 26, 2011 1:35 PM CST up reply actions
Shhhh. He's still sleeping
Speaking of Drugs, there’s a scenario right there: Drugs turns out to be a member of the team’s medical staff.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Jan 26, 2011 1:38 PM CST up reply actions
That is beautiful.
I really want “envenomated” to be a word, too.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Transitive verbs! Hooray!
http://www.merriam-webster.com/medical/envenomated
"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth
by Bucketochicken on Jan 26, 2011 2:17 PM CST up reply actions
God bless the English language.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
That's a perfectly cromulent sentiment.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jan 26, 2011 2:20 PM CST up reply actions
You've embiggened my vocabulary
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jan 26, 2011 2:19 PM CST up reply actions
I'd love to comment further, but I have to go -
My microwave johnnycakes are burning.
"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth
by Bucketochicken on Jan 26, 2011 2:22 PM CST up reply actions
You with johnnycakes?
That’s like a mule with a spinning wheel.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jan 26, 2011 2:23 PM CST up reply actions
Or actually taming that buffalo.
(note: I merely shot it).
And I better not catch you stealing my recipe for rootmarm, either.
"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth
by Bucketochicken on Jan 26, 2011 2:27 PM CST up reply actions
I hope these last few comments were references to something or quotes...
…cause I don’t understand a word of it.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Jan 27, 2011 12:10 PM CST up reply actions
It's OK if you don't understand, you've come a long way.
I’ve noticed you’re no longer using words like “libary” and “tomorry”
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jan 27, 2011 12:44 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Springfield humor?
"You’re talking about things that are real. That’s real. In those other dual meets, it wasn’t real, but now it’s real." ~ Tom Brands regarding the Iowa State dual.
North Haverbrook
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jan 28, 2011 10:27 AM CST up reply actions
I have to know...
…can the bees beat the potato or do they suffer some strange bee malady midway through and screw the pooch?
"You’re talking about things that are real. That’s real. In those other dual meets, it wasn’t real, but now it’s real." ~ Tom Brands regarding the Iowa State dual.
Gregg Doyel gets way, way up on his high horse
Warning: Doyel’s reference of sparring with professional fighters may cause nausea, vertigo and problematic urination
I read that earlier
And wow, did that guy come off as a tad unstable. Apparently getting punched in the face repeatedly and breaking your nose a few times makes you an expert in this area. Who knew?
by Hank Thrasher on Jan 26, 2011 3:14 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
I'll agree with this part
This was no fluke. This was grotesque. And this was negligence
I don’t think Ferentz should be fired over it but whoever was in charge of supervising that workout should go. Even if it was Doyle.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
That's an overreaction that has to be called out
Fired for this? Come on. These kids are finely tuned athletes, and sometimes the race car driver pushes them too far or lets them push themselves too far. Life is imperfect. To pretend like we can plan and understand everything is just plain stupid.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 26, 2011 10:27 PM CST up reply actions
I was never an athlete, not a good one at any rate
and I still remember well how I’d sometimes push myself way too hard when I was around others.
Never underestimate the role peer pressure plays in this sort of thing. Guys thinking that if one of them can push themselves to a certain point, they can too. We’re talking a hyper competitive group of people, and I’d bet that none of them wants to be last or have the slowest time / lowest weight / whatever. I’m sure they don’t want to admit that it’s too tough for them or that they don’t feel well.
If they were being supervised and none of them at the time said anything, then it’s not on the coaches. It’s a lesson for next time that the coaches may need to monitor guys a little closer and stress that you’ll just hurt yourself if you push yourself too far, but otherwise there isn’t a lot you can do about it.
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on Jan 26, 2011 10:44 PM CST up reply actions
Yep.
The coaches need to learn from this, but I see no real reason why Chris Doyle and staff don’t deserve a second chance.
And quite frankly, if this story didn’t include brown piss, it would probably be a badge of honor. A “look, our players are so committed that they worked too hard” sort of badge of honor.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 26, 2011 11:53 PM CST up reply actions
I don't know that anyone should be fired over this
But I find the “eh, it’s not really that big a deal” attitude that you, and many others, have adopted really troubling. THIRTEEN players went to the hospital, all with the same malady. This isn’t a “freak” accident, this is somethign systemic. Now, the fact may be that it was largely due to the players’ own actions (i.e. taking a supplement that caused the reaction), but it is still a big deal that 10% or more of the football team is currently laid up in a hospital bed, with a condition that is often fatal (though almost certainly won’t be here). The idea that this is some sort of “badge of honor” is completely ridiculous.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Did any of the players collapse during the drill?
That’s what I want to know.
If someone showed signs that this was beyond the pale of too hard of a workout, and the coaches forced the player to continue (or used manipulation to keep them going) then you might have a point.
If the players did their workout and didn’t start showing signs of trouble until the next day (or later) then I’m not sure what the coaches could have done. There’s no way to look at an individual and say “they’ve over-exerted themselves and I should stop them in front of their team of friends.”
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Jan 27, 2011 12:16 PM CST up reply actions
Other - Coker transfers to Iowa State, gives this speech.
Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won anything by playing for Iowa. He won it by playing for a coach who is a human being. Men, all this stuff you’ve heard about Ferentz knowing how to coach, doing well at Iowa, is a lot of horse dung. Ferentz straditionally hates to fight. All real Ferentzs love the sting of defeat. When they were kids, they all admired the worst wrestling jobber, the whitest sprinter, the 1981 Northwestern Wildcats, Ali against Holmes. Ferentzs love a loser and will not tolerate a winner. Ferentz himself coaches to lose or tie all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man like that, a man who loses and laughs and punches Stanzi in the kidney. That’s why Ferentz has never won and will never win a title. Because the very thought of aggressive coaching to win is hateful to Ferentz.
Now, a real team is like an army. It lives, eats, sleeps, plays as a team. This individuality stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real battle than they do about fornicating. Ferentz knows all of that, but his teams lose so much they breed individuality. They sure as hell do that. They do it so well it’s green and smelly and it gets them in court!
We have the finest food and equipment – well, we’re Iowa State, that’s maybe a stretch, the best spirit and the best men in the college football world. Ok, that’s probably a stretch too. Anyway, you know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against in Iowa City. By God, I do. We’re not just going to beat the bastards, we’re going to cut out what’s left of their kidneys and feed them to Clayborn’s dog as some kind of bizarre sacrifice. We’re going to murder those lousy Hawk bastards by the bushel.
Now, some of you boys – like that AD of ours, I know, are wondering whether or not you’ll chicken out against Iowa. Don’t worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Hawkeyes are the enemy. Wade into them. Kill their ego. Punch them in the belly after the whistle. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend’s football talent, you’ll know what to do.
Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any messages saying that we are staging a comeback. We’re not going to need a comeback. Let the Hun do that. We are scoring constantly and we don’t need a damn comeback. We’re going to hold onto Ferentz by the nose and we’re going to kick him in the ass. We’re going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we’re gonna go through him like crap through a goose. And he’s just going to waste a timeout!
There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great Cy-Hawk series, you won’t have to say, “Well, I did shit with Kirk Ferentz and lost my kidney.”
Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead you wonderful guys into battle – anytime, anywhere.
That’s all.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 26, 2011 2:09 PM CST reply actions 2 recs
I think I'm in over my head here
I gotta take a walk, do some soul-searching. You guys have enough problems on your own.
See you in August. Maybe.
BRING ME YOUR LIGAMENTS!
by AIRBHG on Jan 26, 2011 2:17 PM CST reply actions 5 recs
I'm going with Indian Burial Ground
…and the Indians were Northwestern fans. That would explain a lot!
Fans? Northwestern? CUTE.
--
A T-bone steak, cheese, eggs, and Welch's grape.
@scrappled
Slow States - Football, music, craft beer, and podcasts with an industrial slant.
by Run Up The Score on Jan 26, 2011 3:54 PM CST up reply actions
Sweet Sioux Tomahawk suddenly makes sense.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 26, 2011 11:54 PM CST up reply actions
my life since september
Then to the southwest
Back home
RUNNING BACKS NOMNOMNOM
Well done football gods, well done
I've been in love (truly) with five women, the Spanish Republic and the 4th Infantry Division.
by sailorjerry on Jan 26, 2011 2:50 PM CST reply actions 18 recs
If I could rec this 100 times, I would.
Kudos, sir.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I'll help too.
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Jan 26, 2011 5:55 PM CST up reply actions
The dead-eyed clapping at the end
is what really makes this (and what will haunt my dreams for weeks).
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Other
This.
Darkness warshed over the Dude - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Jan 26, 2011 3:16 PM CST reply actions 3 recs
The funniest part is Super Happy Guy Having a Super Happy Day in the background there.
Oh wait, is that Rob Corddry?
"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth
by Bucketochicken on Jan 27, 2011 7:13 AM CST up reply actions
My dog has that one
We actually took her cage to the beach and had her sit in it like she was caught in a lobster trap. She hates Halloween, a new costume every year.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 9:58 AM CST up reply actions
Agreed.
And on top of that, dogs shouldn’t wear any clothing at all.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 27, 2011 10:23 AM CST up reply actions
Unless it's for the purposes of making Dog-Fort comics, that is.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Google "dog fart" and you're in for a surprise.
Just don’t do it at work.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jan 27, 2011 11:26 AM CST up reply actions
I voted zombie outbreak
after the majority of the team has been infected, KOK snaps and becomes a Quisling in a desperate attempt to maintain his job, but still gets eaten alive.
At least
One of our head coaches isn’t being accused of anti-gay recruiting
http://victorypolka.blogspot.com/
Double negative?
Does that mean he is being accused of gay recruiting?
by Fumblerooski on Jan 26, 2011 4:25 PM CST up reply actions
I can get behind that.
Er, wait…
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jan 27, 2011 11:27 AM CST up reply actions
The cow college is a little behind the writers workshop college in these things.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 9:59 AM CST up reply actions
I should probably remove "front an international diamond-smuggling ring" from the options.
There’s no way anyone involved in the Iowa football program or athletic department is competent enough to pull that off.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Well, what IS Hunter Rawlings doing these days?
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 26, 2011 11:59 PM CST up reply actions
The slutty camerawoman that took down John Edwards?
I believe I heard they’re actually engaged now that Mrs. Edwards the First has passed from her cancer. Just a disgusting story, and I’m a lib.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 10:01 AM CST up reply actions
On an unrelated note I'm sure,
Does anybody know the whereabouts of J Leman and Bob Zook these days?
You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!
by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Jan 26, 2011 4:29 PM CST reply actions
Bears
Easily bears
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on Jan 26, 2011 4:56 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
godless killing machines.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 26, 2011 11:59 PM CST up reply actions
Those are very friendly lumberjacks.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Well, they probably do work with a lot of wood.
/instantrimshotdotcom’d
"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth
by Bucketochicken on Jan 27, 2011 7:15 AM CST up reply actions
Also...
Huh. That’s pretty much how I dress, except for the ridiculous (sorry fellas, but they are) suspenders and the tucking-in of shirts. And bears are my favorite land mammal…
Hmm.
"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth
by Bucketochicken on Jan 27, 2011 7:16 AM CST up reply actions
Well
They are couture fashion designers, Costello Tagliapietra, so who are we to question their suspenders. I’m sure if they did men’s wear, DJK would approve.
Also, you’re not allowed (or able) to grow facial hair. A truly limiting circumstance in the bear community.
Yes, very true.
I’m also of average, formerly athletic-ish build (aging twink?), which would further DQ me from membership in the Bear Club For Men and ok this is getting around the bend a bit.
"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth
by Bucketochicken on Jan 27, 2011 8:17 AM CST up reply actions
You could always be a chaser
Us bears could always use more chasers. Okay, I think I just went a bridge too far. Sorry.
Sounds like an otter
And also scrubbing my mind’s eye along with Stanzi’s Ex
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 10:03 AM CST up reply actions
I thought then they were wolves?
I thought otters were smooth and preening, therefore the nearly hairless comments. OK, I really need to stop now before I continue to argue a point that you clearly know more about than I do and has a strong potential to find a way to be insulting.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 27, 2011 10:40 AM CST up reply actions
Wolves are an aggressive subset of the otters
in my understanding. I’m admittedly not very involved in the gay community and not a big fan of labels in general.
Yeah, it seems odd to sub-label gay people by a bunch of animal names.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Jan 27, 2011 1:50 PM CST up reply actions
It's mostly (completely?) the bear community and its subfields.
Since the bear movement started as an overtly hypermasculine reaction to the effeminate stereotype that is somewhat embraced in mainstream gay culture it’s understandable the label would be of a large, aggressive animal. The sub-labels just seem to follow the animal trend.
CyKo agrees to come to the Hawkeyes
only to get hit by a plane during the press conference
by justsomehawkeyefan on Jan 26, 2011 5:53 PM CST reply actions
a personal lowpoint
but then again i am watching Joes Other
half
kick our ass
with apologies to Sgt. Barry Sadler
fighting Hawkeyes from the I,
fearless men who block and try
hawks who mean just what they say.
yellow and black of the Kinnick brave
Nike swooshes upon their chest,
these are men Iowas best.
one Hundred men will walkon today,
only three will wear the yellow and black
trained to run the end around
trained in passes long and down
men who fight by night and day,
yellow and black of the Kinnick brave
back at home a running back waits,
AIRBHG will test his fate.
he has died for those run
leaving just a last request
put Ferent’s wrath on my son’s chest,
make him one of Iowa’s best.
he’ll be a Hawk they’ll test one day.
yellow and black of the Kinnick brave
long live the pellican whore
I don't intend to upset folks with the way I write it just happens,,,
by OhioHawk on Jan 26, 2011 6:59 PM CST reply actions 1 recs
Nah.
I believe the next slogan is “we bleed black and gold and pee brown.” Not the catchiest slogan ever, but par for the course with UI marketing.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Other
Hayden Fry was the shooter on the grassy knoll.
I love the smell of napalm in the morning...it smells like victory -- Lt. Col Bill Kilgore
A High Porch Assassination?
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 27, 2011 12:00 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I voted other
Because all of the given options seem too predictable for this offseason.
If Bucket’s scenario was listed, I probably would have voted for that. It seems just whacky enough to actually happen.
RhabdoGate made the front page of Huffington Post.
This ain’t going anyway anytime soon.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/26/iowa-football-players-complained-workouts_n_814511.html
by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 27, 2011 12:42 AM CST reply actions
Can we stop calling every negative news item "...gate"?
It’s quickly becoming my new pet peeve. This isn’t really directed at you SEG, but rather at society (obviously BHGP is the place to foment cultural change).
Not sure if there’s anything in the HuffPo story that will cause major change or a long running story. The title makes it sound like the players were complaining about the workouts, but the story makes it sound like they were just talking to trainers about the physical effects. If they were asking to not have to do the workout, maybe this thing has legs. But it sounds like they experienced negative effects of the intense workouts and went to trainers to alleviate them, which to me is a different kind of story.
I totally agree this was a supreme over-reactiongate.
"You’re talking about things that are real. That’s real. In those other dual meets, it wasn’t real, but now it’s real." ~ Tom Brands regarding the Iowa State dual.
Gategate?
"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth
by Bucketochicken on Jan 27, 2011 8:17 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Recgate
Hey Dolph, you look like I need a beer.
by Give Eddie a Beer on Jan 27, 2011 10:10 AM CST up reply actions
I was mainly referring to the comments on the story- how people outside of Iowa are reacting to it.
And HuffPo readership is huge.
And I just called it -gate cuz I am not clever.
by stanzi's ex-girlfriend on Jan 27, 2011 8:47 AM CST up reply actions
Their readership is huge
and easily distracted by the constant stream of short articles and info they crank out.
The internet is making everyones attention sp...
…LOOK A BUG!
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Jan 27, 2011 2:09 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Other
Brad “Cambus” Rogers leads a revolt in which 30 or so players carja, no bus-jack the entire Cambus fleet in an attempt to flee to Mexico, each earning an extremely long court trial after a series of arrests starting in Eaglesville, MO and ending in Liberty, MO as the transit coaches ran out of fuel one…….by…………one…………….
The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it. Bill Nye (yeah, the science guy)
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