The Floyd Diaries
by BornaHawk on Jan 17, 2011 11:45 AM CST
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Print(Easy bump. -- Ross)
via news.minnesota.publicradio.org
November 27th, 2010
After calling Iowa City home for the last three years, and 8 of the last 10, I have become quite comfortable in the Iowa trophy case. When this year began I expected to have another year in my beloved home state, maybe even a chance to meet the granddaddy of all trophies.
I was further encouraged when Cy-Hawk stayed home, even though he’s an ugly sonuva bitch to look at. I wasn’t too broke up when Heartland moved out, I was tired of putting up with his bullshit. And even though the team crapped the bed against JNW and the Fighting Tatoos, I figured they would pull it together for my game. I mean Iowa had more NFL Players on its roster than Minnesota had D-1 athletes. Minnesota was recovering from the Tim Brewster outbreak infection era and their interim coach thinks the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentleman start your engines." I am still in shock that I changed hands. Now I have to be pawed by a bunch of losers who haven't seen a trophy since High School. Right now I am just trying to not think about spending an entire year in Minneapolis.
December 1st, 2010
Firmly ensconced in the Minnesota Trophy room. Its me, a bunch of old fogeys, a couple of music city bowls and a 2010 Insight Bowl participation certificate. This is going to be a long year.
December 6th, 2010
Minnesota just hired a guy named Kill. He is a big improvement over Brewster. The same, of course, could be said for a raging case of gonorrhea.
December 13th, 2010
Big Ten Divisions came out. I’m ecstatic that they kept my game intact, even if Legends and Leaders sounds more like a History Channel show then football divisions. No word on my suggestion to change the name to the Pig Ten… A swine can dream right?
December 20th, 2010
Joel Maturi came to visit, and I still have shudders. He crept in late last night, got really close to my case and slowly put one hand down his pants. I could smell Leinenkugels and Grain Belt on his breath. I got scared but he just stood there fogging up my glass and looking at me. After a few minutes he left without saying a word. Get. Me. Out of here.
December 23rd, 2010
I always get sad around this time of year. All those Christmas hams you know. Took a walk around campus to raise my spirits and I felt like I fit right in. It’s not such a bad place if you are a squat, doughy, pig.
December 28th, 2010
Iowa just added a new trophy to their case, and even though it looks like a fish got it on with a turd, I wish I could have been there to welcome it. Meeting the Orange bowl is still one of the highlights of my life (she smelled like citrus and patriotism). God knows when the next time these jokers are going to bring me some company. I haven’t been together with my friend the Axe since 1990... Oh well, at least I don't have to put up with that obnoxious jug. I haven't disliked a trophy more since talking Hauser into getting rid of that bastard Slab of Bacon.
January 4th, 2011
Minnesota played Augustana in fencing today. I heard the crowd started a who hates Iowa chant. God this school is pathetic.
January 8th, 2011
Had bacon pancakes, followed by a pork chop double down for breakfast today. I know what you are thinking, so let me stop you right there, just because I am a pig does not mean I have to worry about cholesterol, I happen to work out and have a pretty low weight... for a bronze pig.
January 11th, 2011
Brewster stopped by today. He was wearing a fake glasses/nose/mustache disguise and humming the mission impossible theme under his breath. I think he broke in to steal me, but luckily, he had no idea what I looked like and made off with a women's basketball sportsmanship award, a replica crystal ball trophy and a life size cut out of Seantrel Hendersen. Good thing the administration here covered up the part of me that says 55-0.
January 16th, 2011
Tubby had a guy come in after the Iowa game to make sure there was room for an NCCA Championship Basketball Trophy. I didn’t know Rick Pitino was going to hand him another one. Oh well, at least he doesn’t tape new dates over old championship trophies every year (I'm looking at you Todd Lickliter).
January 17th, 2011
Happy MLK Day. This day has special meaning to me, seeing as how I was created as a way to ease tensions after the Gopher football team repeatedly took cheap shots at Iowa's star black running back. In other news it snowed again today. Par for the course for a city that has three weeks of summer. I don't know how many more times I can watch Babe and reruns of Orson and Friends. I am almost getting to the point where watching Gordy and drinking Hawkeye vodka every time I want to punch someone sounds like a good idea. Is it Oct. 29th yet?
Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.
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Comments
Not sure how Floyd feels about that (I just forwarded his journal).
I personally mind. The big ten title so rarely goes through Iowa and Minnesota during the same season that we aren’t giving much up by moving it forward. That said, there are few things sweeter than celebrating a Big Ten title while your arch nemesis dejectedly leaves the field. Our last two titles came against Minnesota and Wisconsin respectively, and it was glorious.
A division title against Nebraska, even if it's in the first year of the new rivalry
Will still be a spectacular event that won’t need a trophy to make it special.
So
If jNW, MSU and Michigan are forming the shaft, we are going to have a flacid division for a while… Continuing the analogy, Minnesota and Iowa form the balls(or in Iowa’s case the Mcnutt), while Nebbie is the taint/butt of the division. That sounds about right.
by BornaHawk on Jan 17, 2011 8:14 PM CST up reply actions 3 recs
That would make
Illinois the Rectum, OMHR the Sigmoid Colon, Indiana the Descending Colon, tOSU the Tranverse Colon, Wiscy the Ascending Colon, and PSU the Stomach.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 18, 2011 1:23 PM CST up reply actions
The googles were my friend.
I’m an architect by profession.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 18, 2011 3:18 PM CST up reply actions
No, then Nebby wins its division every year.
That’s what they expect!
So what if I tailgate to the NPR jazz station?
Bwahahaha
“humming the mission impossible theme under his breath”
Nicely done.
Brunettes not fighter jets
Agreed
Very nicely done!
What's your deal?
by PCarroll_u_sm(j)irk on Jan 17, 2011 12:15 PM CST up reply actions
DISGUISE OBFUSCATE INFILTRATE
YEAH BUDDAY!
by With Ferentz Like These... on Jan 17, 2011 6:12 PM CST up reply actions 5 recs
Who is that?
And should we hire him to replace KOK?
He looks like he can bring some intensity to our program, and maybe a couple of Super Bowl wins?
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 17, 2011 6:14 PM CST up reply actions
Beautiful.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I'll push that over the top on Rec's
My favorite gif since Gila With It
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Jan 19, 2011 2:29 PM CST up reply actions
Who loves that Minnesota hates Iowa?
Iowa does.
"GO HAWKS!" - only cure for Hawkeye Envy
Hayden Fry. You are welcome college football.
Floyd got his pic taken with Gopher fans last night at the BB game
Apparently it was a big deal or something.
You Like Twitter? Me too! Awesome Fun Time K Thanks Bye! @storminspank
He's their Haley's Comet.
Gotta see him while you have the chance.
"If there's one thing Nixon is known for, it's class. Now let's cut this turd loose!"
- Richard Nixon's Head, President of Earth
by Bucketochicken on Jan 17, 2011 1:59 PM CST up reply actions
Floyd is probabaly not aware
that we have added the pellican whore
to cover Herky’s flank,,,,,
and your optimism about the three weeks of summer
might be blown by ten or twelve days
chin up Floyd
we still want you
and will keep your home warm and clean
awaiting your return
and well done !!
I don't intend to upset folks with the way I write it just happens,,,
I must say,
you out did yourself on this one!
Bravo BornaHawk
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride!" HST
Hopefully you won't have to spend a full year in MSP, Floyd.
The return date with Minny is 10/29/2011; hopefully you’re back in your familiar roost in Iowa City by Halloween.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Bronzed swine are already a Halloween tradition in Iowa City
Fake tanner meets Midwest diet meets heavy booze intake. God bless all of it.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 17, 2011 2:40 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs
You calling me fat?
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Jan 17, 2011 3:15 PM CST up reply actions
A swine can dream right?
He can also broach bacon consumption and keep the conversation away from cannibalism and on cholesterol. I’ve always heard that pigs are smrt animals.
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
Less cannibals
Than omnivores. They will eat ANYTHING…including unfortunate farmers when given the opportunity.
Please note that the internet does not, as of yet, have a sarcasm font.
by benvious on Jan 17, 2011 8:55 PM CST via mobile up reply actions
This ranks up there with detassling
on the list of farming things I learn at bhgp.
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
You didn't know that already?
And you’re from Waynesboro?
I thought you were one of us, jtot…
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 18, 2011 8:24 AM CST up reply actions
No, I did not know that pigs would eat farmers
Now I do. Hey, we had FFA in my junior and senior high schools, but sometimes education is like that: you never know where you’ll pick something up.
But you can bet your bacon I’ll be using omnivore in some fashion in the near future.
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
Like the leaders of many other centers of public learning, the administrators at The Ohio State University are omnivores in that they consume for their own benefit traditional human foods (Beef, fish, veggies, fruits, etc) and student-athletes.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 18, 2011 9:11 AM CST up reply actions
You obviously don't watch Criminal Minds
Serial killer disposed of bodies in the pig pen, then his accomplice met the same fate.
He obviously has good taste if he's not watching CM.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
by RossWB on Jan 18, 2011 10:29 AM CST up reply actions 1 recs
Didn't the villian in Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels also use pigs?
by The Mexican't on Jan 18, 2011 1:31 PM CST up reply actions
That, or in Snatch
They are the exact same movie.
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 18, 2011 1:33 PM CST up reply actions
Well now I can't remember which it was.
Dammit.
by The Mexican't on Jan 18, 2011 4:34 PM CST up reply actions
They also did so in one of those horrible sequels...
to Silence of the Lambs. I can’t remember if it was Hannibal, or Red Dragon, but they fed some poor cripple to some pigs or boars or something.
After further research, it was Hannibal, and it was boars.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 18, 2011 10:18 PM CST up reply actions
That's still not as bad to me as the ending scene of Hannibal
where he is eating the brains on the plane and gives some to the little kid.
And I really enjoyed Hannibal. I don’t think that when you make a trilogy of movies to go with a trilogy of books that weren’t really sequels that they are as bad as most sequels.
The scene that creeps me out in that movie...
is when Hopkins slices up that dude’s abdomen, and then throws him out the window to hang by the neck, and the dude’s intestines hit the street below.
Obviously, if that got to me, you can understand why I have not watched any of the Saw movies.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 18, 2011 11:24 PM CST up reply actions
Yeah, totally understandable.
I forgot about that scene. That was awesome.
And I think the Saw movies went downhill after Saw III.
If a pig dies, it isn’t unheard of for the others to dig in.
If by “it isn’t unheard of” you mean they can’t wait for a pig to get sick and die so they can eat it you are absolutely correct. Hell, they chew each others tails off while they are still alive. I had also heard that they were smart animals, after raising them for the last 6 months, I strongly disagree.
"If you're easily offended, we thank you for stopping by but ask that you turn your browser elsewhere." -- BHGP Disclaimer
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Jan 18, 2011 9:36 AM CST up reply actions
You raise pigs?
Do you have any idea how awesome that makes you?
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 18, 2011 12:34 PM CST up reply actions
Only temporarily
About 6 more months. I am living on a my brother in laws farm and taking care of it while his is deployed in Afghanistan. The only thing I thought that this made me was smelly.. glad to add awesome to the list.
"If you're easily offended, we thank you for stopping by but ask that you turn your browser elsewhere." -- BHGP Disclaimer
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Jan 18, 2011 12:43 PM CST up reply actions
Your brother-in-law raises pigs and is in the, what, reserves, national guard?
That is…impressive.
I can totally see Sly Stallone playing some burned out special forces guy who now spends his time raising pigs, just waiting for Duty’s Call.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 18, 2011 2:48 PM CST up reply actions
Correct
he is in the guard, second deployment.. went to Kosovo once as well.. That movie would probably be terrible, and I would watch it.
"If you're easily offended, we thank you for stopping by but ask that you turn your browser elsewhere." -- BHGP Disclaimer
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Jan 18, 2011 4:02 PM CST up reply actions
When I was a jr in HS my Dad directed me to my summer job – working on a client of his (Dad’s a lawyer) brother’s farm. My first day, I was directed into the pig barn where there were of shitload of baby pigs to help:
1) cut the tails off,
2) cut the bad ass teeth out,
3) castrate, and
4) in a desire to keep them from infection, spraying their wounds with a substance akin to spray paint.
The job didn’t get much better over the course of the summer, although killing rats in the cattle pens with shovels was probably worse. My children think I’m making it up.
Having grown up on a farm that raised pigs and beef cattle
I will totally vouch for you on those items. The substance is usually some mix of iodine and a glue to seal the wound.
Please note that the internet does not, as of yet, have a sarcasm font.
Those Hindus better hope their pig reincarnation doesn't happen on an Iowa farm
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 19, 2011 12:29 PM CST up reply actions
holy hell
That’s worse by orders of magnitude than my worst job in a solar panel factory. /grimaces, bucks up and approaches train wreck….ummm, so how did you cut the teeth out? Same or different instrument as that used for the castration?
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
In my experience, different utensils were utilized.
I used pliers for the teeth and a nice sharp razor blade for the de-ballin’.
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Jan 19, 2011 3:14 PM CST up reply actions
Aren't teeth used to finish castration on some animals?
Or was that episode of Dirty Jobs I saw just an excuse to get Mike Rowe to fellate a lamb?
I grew up in IA, but in a town, so my only farm experience is detasselling and hayrack rides. One of those I enjoyed, the other was pure Hell.
by IPeeBlackAndGold on Jan 19, 2011 3:29 PM CST up reply actions
It's kinda weird
to learn how little farmer cred I’ve got having grown up in Amish country. But my parents were teachers and we lived in town. Best I’ve got is a farmer locker partner who got expelled for punching the meanest teacher I ever did have.
Farmers are hardcore.
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
goddamn
Hardcore. So, is there any part of you, given your experience, which would be ‘fired up’ to go play football if your coach castrated a bull in front of you and your teammates?
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
Depends.
Is the bull restrained?
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Jan 19, 2011 4:17 PM CST up reply actions
After doing the castrating, de-teeth-and-tailing, having vet school dudes de-ball a bull would just be fucking weird and funny. I also worked in the oilfields outside Gillette, WY one summer. I’d be much more fired up if a coach brought 8-10 roughnecks to a practice, got them liquored up, and invited them to fight each other. The rough rule on Saturday nights when you were drunk and trying to be invisible as a college kid (it was pretty apparent) was the guy with the least number of fingers was generally the most bad-assed. That experience was terrifying enough that the next couple summers I worked as a camp counselor at a camp in Northern Wisconsin, and got enough seniority/good at dealing with pain in the ass teenagers that I got to take 30+ day canoe trips in Northern Saskatchewan/NW Territories leading 5-7 14 year olds – and was paid well for it. My kids don’t believe any of my summer job stories.
Awesome
Overnight canoe trips I could get behind. Sounds like you made some nice upgrades from summer to summer.
Maybe your kids will believe you more when it’s time for their summer job and you ship them off to battle missing-fingered roughnecks and cut off pigs balls.
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
Let's say he is
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
Then, no.
If the bull was unrestrained and there was that adrenaline rush from seeing a bull just go fucking nuts when he realized you were going to cut his manhood away from him. That’d be crazy as hell to see, and IF the coach was able to succeed at the task at hand, then I’d be amped to see that be successful.
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Jan 19, 2011 9:54 PM CST up reply actions
ha, good stuff
Thanks for indulging me.
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
Hey, no problem, sir.
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Jan 19, 2011 10:06 PM CST up reply actions
Man, I wish Sherrill had pulled that crap at Pitt instead of some southern cow college.
Would have made it all the better when JoePa kicked him in the pants each year.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 20, 2011 8:07 AM CST up reply actions
“Son, I’d give you a .22 to shoot them rats but that’s uh waste uh ammo an’ I don’t know if your aim’s any good.”
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 20, 2011 8:10 AM CST up reply actions
Sly as the Pig Guy.
Tom Berenger as some guy.
Some woman as some woman.
Directed by that Asian guy who directs all of the bad movies with lots of explosions.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 18, 2011 6:44 PM CST up reply actions
John Woo.
And I like Mission Impossible 2, thank you very much.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 18, 2011 10:20 PM CST up reply actions
SO
there will be a sequence where Sly, Berenger and the woman are in a slow-motion Mexican-standoff as a flock of white doves flies across the screen?
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
And each dove will have a drop of blood dripping from one of their wings.
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
by EnergizerHawk on Jan 19, 2011 3:23 PM CST up reply actions
"Most Likely to be Ham"
YEAH BUDDAY!
by With Ferentz Like These... on Jan 17, 2011 3:40 PM CST up reply actions
It was actually "Most Likely to Replace Shelly Long On Cheers"
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Jan 17, 2011 4:36 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I'm still cringing and grinning at this one the 3rd or 4th time I've read it
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 19, 2011 4:55 PM CST up reply actions
Best line of the article and it's not even close.
I wasn’t too broke up when Heartland moved out, I was tired of putting up with his bullshit.
Brilliant
Firmly ensconced in the Minnesota Trophy room. Its me, a bunch of old fogeys, a couple of music city bowls and a 2010 Insight Bowl participation certificate. This is going to be a long year.
I laughed, I cried.
My porn name is HogOfHawkness
by HeartOfHawkness on Jan 17, 2011 7:15 PM CST reply actions
The Jug
Frankly, Floyd should defecate in the Jug on his way out of town and FedEx it back to Ann Arbor where “Dinner is served.”
That would be great.
Except for the fact that the Jug hasn’t had a stay longer than a day in MSP since 2005.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Where can I nominate Mr. Floyd of Rosedale for the Pulitzer Prize?
Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.
How does a bronze pig write?
I guess I don’t get it.
(Oh was that rec’d)
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Jan 18, 2011 10:26 AM CST reply actions
"You’re talking about things that are real. That’s real. In those other dual meets, it wasn’t real, but now it’s real." ~ Tom Brands regarding the Iowa State dual.
by Kluginator on Jan 18, 2011 11:11 AM CST reply actions 5 recs
Why would "Joe" Maturi have Leinenkugel on his breath?
Leinie is a Wisconsin beer.
It should be “I could smell Schell and Grain Belt on his breath.”
Accusing Maturi of having Leinie on his breath is akin to calling Iowa the “Show Me” state, or making fun of Hawkeye fans because their state’s greatest claim to fame is its production of potatoes.
by Midnight Rambler on Jan 18, 2011 12:32 PM CST up reply actions
Sheesh.
With confusion like that, its no wonder LeBron left our state.
YEAH BUDDAY!
by With Ferentz Like These... on Jan 18, 2011 12:38 PM CST up reply actions
Also, I think Schell's makes Grain Belt,
so, redundant.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 18, 2011 10:22 PM CST up reply actions
Maturi is a mole.
He was assistant AD in Madison from 87-96, which is why every decision he makes is immediately dismissed as idiocy by us.
Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.
by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Jan 18, 2011 1:22 PM CST up reply actions
Weird.
I believe Iowa State’s AD, Jamie Pollard, is also a former Wisconsin athletic department employee.
It is strange that many of Iowa’s rivals (Wisky, Minnesota, ISU) have a Wisconsin influence.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 18, 2011 10:23 PM CST up reply actions
Cyrus K
cancelled his visit to Iowa. Damnit I wish we could have had him
When will the NCAA admit that it is a business with the sole purpose for making money off of student athletes?
Mark 16:15-18
I thought he was planning to reschedule.
"You’re talking about things that are real. That’s real. In those other dual meets, it wasn’t real, but now it’s real." ~ Tom Brands regarding the Iowa State dual.
I know some of you are joking or sarcastic, but I can't tell which
I’ll just consider you all creepy
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 18, 2011 3:38 PM CST up reply actions
He's coming in Saturday after his SAT instead of Friday with Cooper
Battles are won with a hammer, wars are won with a scalpel
He definitely cancelled. It's pretty much everywhere.
Last rumor I saw on the Twits had him deciding on whether to visit Iowa, USC or UGA (?) on the 29th.
by The Mexican't on Jan 18, 2011 4:35 PM CST up reply actions
Apparently he's re-taking the SAT on 1/22, which made a trip to Iowa City this weekend impossible.
I think it was done to us, USC, and Alabama for his last visit and I don’t see Iowa winning that battle.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Yeah, I don't think we'll get to enjoy hearing BTN commentators struggle with Kouandjio's name
Oh well. It’s fun to think that the top OL in the country wants to come to Iowa.
by The Mexican't on Jan 18, 2011 4:49 PM CST up reply actions
Two years in a row, given our pursuit of Seantrel Henderson last year.
Maybe one of these years we’ll actually get that top OL to come. (Although I think Blake Larsen might have been the top OL — he was right up there anyway — and that didn’t work out so well.)
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
We don't need them!
We’ll just convert a TE or take a corn fed farm boy and turn them into an another NFL monster.
(Seriously. If you’re a potential lineman in high school and you want to play in the NFL, why aren’t you coming here?)
It never gets to be easy.
Why the fuck doesn't it ever get to be easy?
by chitownhawkeye on Jan 18, 2011 7:10 PM CST up reply actions
Yep.
And was Dace even higher rated than Doering?
After further research, Scout had Dace as the #4 OL, and Doering as the #6 OL. Moeaki was higher rated than both, overall.
Alex Boone and Michael Oher were also in the top 5 of OL in 2005.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 18, 2011 10:27 PM CST up reply actions
No, no no
Doering was the highest rated player in the 2005 class (the only “consensus” 5-star in the bunch). Dace was thought to have more upside, but was still raw and needed more development. Plus, Dace was a tackle and Doering a guard, so Dace’s potential was seen to be higher as tackles are harder to come by.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
According to scout, both were 5 stars.
And Dace was #4 OL, while Doering was #6.
http://recruiting.scout.com/a.z?s=73&p=9&c=4&pid=2&yr=2005
According to Rivals, Doering was a 5 star, Dace was a 4 star. Doering was #10 OL, and Dace was #22.
Let’s both agree that each of us was correct, unless you really love Rivals. Personally, I tend to check scout first, but I’m no expert.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 19, 2011 10:15 PM CST up reply actions
Neither are they
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 19, 2011 10:19 PM CST up reply actions
I'm 99% sure we don't land him
But could imagine how good our Oline would project to be 2-3 years from now with him, Blythe and Walsh in the same class?
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Nope.
Because he could just have somebody ELSE take his SAT so he could still make a visit to Memphis.
See what I did there?
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jan 18, 2011 10:28 PM CST up reply actions
with his mother.
"You’re talking about things that are real. That’s real. In those other dual meets, it wasn’t real, but now it’s real." ~ Tom Brands regarding the Iowa State dual.
Floyd?
He hasn’t eaten her?
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
Sweet callback
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 20, 2011 5:47 PM CST up reply actions
Excellent.
That nearly makes up for all of the farmer cred you don’t have.
P.S. which cow is superior, Holstein or Jersey? If you say Holstein I think I may have to fight you. My grandfather would want me to fight you.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 20, 2011 7:32 PM CST up reply actions
Stop teasing me
You know I would kill to wrestle your grandfather.
Cats been getting hookups on tatts since back in 01. - former buckeye Antonio Pittman
Pappy can't "rassle".
I think he’s more the type to challenge you to a plinking match with a .22.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 20, 2011 10:15 PM CST up reply actions
Actually he probably wouldn't.
He’d just let you shoot the gun – any gun – so he could lavish praise upon you. Then he’d make a real sweet shot and say, see, I can still do it.
I think he’s been doing that since my mother was ten.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 20, 2011 10:17 PM CST up reply actions
Trick question
It’s those Japanese cows that give us Kobe beef, right?
by IPeeBlackAndGold on Jan 20, 2011 10:41 PM CST up reply actions
Them's fightin words
I guess so, anyway. Don’t know a damn thing about livestock or farm life despite my Iowa roots
I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.
by therealCatnuts on Jan 21, 2011 12:34 AM CST up reply actions
My local butcher store has a sign that says, "No cow meat here".
I’m taking my butcher’s side here, man.
"As long as he behaves himself in this town, I ain't got no, ah...jurisdiction." - Link Appleyard, NCAA Compliance Officer
by ReadingRambler on Jan 21, 2011 9:36 AM CST up reply actions
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