Why does every Big Ten school have some idiot making horrible "music?"

So, this week, we learned that Tom Hanks has a son who goes to Northwestern and made some stupid frat-boy-wannabe-rapper schlock.  You may have seen Reading Rambler's post about it:


Since that is obviously awesome, some Michigan State convicts/fans had to do likewise:


Sure, Michigan fans laugh especially hard about MSU spitting that weak game, until you remind them of the musical predilections of their recently-fired coach:


Ohio State fans probably get a big kick out of the RichRod era of Michigan football, and figure that they are too busy winning and getting free tattoos to do something so embarrassing.  Well, you'd be wrong:


While we're on the topic of fired coaches (RichRod), I thought I'd take a minute to show you the U of Minnesota's foray.  Yes, they go hard, right up until their coach gets fired.  After that?  They'll have to settle for catching Iowa on an ice rink:


And many of us remember the Purdue "Give Back" song (sorry, no more video, just an article about it):


Who can forget our own Hawkeye fans trying to rap (again, the video has been removed):


You may have even had the "Teach Me How to Dougie/Bucky" crap foisted upon you by Wisconsinite colleagues, relatives, or friends:


Illinois thinks they're not dumb enough to do the same?  Wrong, WRONG!  Your musical contribution couldn't handle the Zooker, so you wrote a rap about your library instead:


Surely, Joe Paterno would never allow such silliness in State College, right?  Well, that didn't stop some idiot from road-side rapping 3 miles past the edge of town:


And now, we have Indiana's contribution.  It starts off pretty frat-tastic, but they had my attention with the old-school game footage and the hot chicks by the middle of the vid.  The grand finale?  Some old people and a dude with a red mohawk and a weird crossbow/violin.


Nebraska fans are laughing at us.  They are saying "Sorry, but we were too busy winning championships to make silly music videos.  Tommie Frazier didn't sit around and rap into no camera.  The Blackshirts are too badass for that type of crap."  Are you sure?


So, my question is, why can't we, as a conference, exercise a little musical self-control?  I mean, not everyone can be Meredith Wilson, but for the love of God/Yahweh/Allah, can we please stop embarrassing ourselves in this conference with our horrific faux-music? 

If you, or anyone you know, has the sudden urge to spend a weekend or less making something slightly musical to slap on youtube and show your school pride, please do us all a favor and just jump in front of the nearest campus bus.  Or taunt the campus police the day after they get some new Tazers to play with.  Just don't make us all witness your inability to sing, rhyme, dance, or speak.


F*** You, We're Iowa!

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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