Possibly the greatest moment of my life

by ybeck21 on Jan 13, 2011 6:35 PM CST

So this is a little late, but as my first ever post, I would like to share with you a very rare moment that will stay with me forever, a moment when supreme sexual content coincided with an incredible moment of Hawkeye glory...

I think I can reasonably say I was the only hawkeye fan to literally splooge during Micah Hyde's pick six.

Being disheartened by a botched hawkeye drive in the 4th quarter and facing an early morning of work the next day I headed to bed before the game ended. I figured I could glean any information about the remainder of the game from the claps or dissatisfied sighs from the rest of the dudes in the living room. Having not been alone with my girlfriend in quite some time we decided to fool around before sleepy time. After several minutes of fellatio I was about to yell 'shazam' (thats what i do when i jizz) when I heard a roar of cheers and clapping from the living room. Being equally confused, excited for the hawks, and excited for the blowies, the Kracken was released. The hawks won. And for a moment, I thought a room full of friends was cheering me on as I blasted my girlfriend.

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

Tweet Comment 32 comments | 2 recs |

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Comments

Ladies and gentlemen, these are the people that frequent BHGP.

Bravo sir, bravo.

by DJK's bongwater on Jan 13, 2011 7:09 PM CST reply actions

Outsiders beware.

Steer your virgin eyes elsewhere.

So what if I tailgate to the NPR jazz station?

by hkobb7 on Jan 13, 2011 9:29 PM CST up reply actions

A few minutes

People go that long???

i don't wife em...i one night em

by smokinthereiff on Jan 13, 2011 7:13 PM CST reply actions

Must be some sort of miracle

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 14, 2011 7:57 AM CST up reply actions

Shazam, sir.

I shall use that in memory of this post tonight.

by Hawkeyes on Jan 13, 2011 9:39 PM CST reply actions

speaking of virgin eyes..

Probably shoulda mentioned this post contains “racy” material

by ybeck21 on Jan 13, 2011 11:11 PM CST reply actions

Mister Stanzi's Ex-Girlfriend, I presume

I spent half my life's earnings on wine, women & song. The other half I wasted.

by therealCatnuts on Jan 14, 2011 12:44 AM CST reply actions

Between this and Jacobi's over-sharing...

…I’m spent until August (WHEN DOES FOOTBALL START AGAIN!?!).

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Jan 14, 2011 9:52 AM CST reply actions

I can never unread this. Fuck.

Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.

by Kyle McCann't on Jan 14, 2011 10:53 AM CST reply actions

SHAZAM!

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 14, 2011 11:50 AM CST reply actions

I can't decide

if this post needs to be rec’d or if I need to get to work on that time machine and go back and never click on it.. I’ll take the middle ground… SHAZAM… shazam indeed.

"If you're easily offended, we thank you for stopping by but ask that you turn your browser elsewhere." -- BHGP Disclaimer

by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Jan 14, 2011 12:30 PM CST reply actions

This

I can’t decide if this post needs to be rec’d or if I need to get to work on that time machine and go back and never click on it

Couldn’t agree more

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Jan 14, 2011 12:49 PM CST up reply actions

I'm leaning towards rec

I was about to yell ‘shazam’ (thats what i do when i jizz)

Anyone that would admit that, or hell even do that, in a public forum deserves a rec. However, Kyle McCann’ts reply might be more deserving of a rec.

by Grixxly on Jan 14, 2011 1:07 PM CST up reply actions

Could be worse,

he could yell “GAHHH FUCK TAKE THE DRAGON! THAT’S WHAT THE FUCK I’M TALKING ABOUT!”

I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.

by HoyaGoon on Jan 14, 2011 1:13 PM CST up reply actions 2 recs

Dude...

That got me laughing so hard I’m crying. OMG that was a funny story. Rec’d for the link!

by Grixxly on Jan 14, 2011 1:46 PM CST up reply actions

That was the most disturbingly funny true story I've read in a while

"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable

by ClaybornSmash on Jan 14, 2011 3:02 PM CST up reply actions

Shazam? Why is that weird?

I mean I let loose with “Great Caesar’s Ghost!” when I hit the mountain top. Judge not….

How would you like your steak done, Mr Sweater Vest?

by FiveSecondRuleChef on Jan 15, 2011 5:20 AM CST up reply actions

I move to have 'shazam' become a verb

shazam – the act of ejaculating

as in “I just shazammed all over your sister’s face!” or “Sorry dude, I just had to shazam on your pillow when you were out of town.”

by DJK's bongwater on Jan 14, 2011 12:45 PM CST reply actions

Shazam N Go?

by PackerHawk on Jan 15, 2011 1:47 AM CST up reply actions

Is it a Captain Marvel shazam

or a Gomer Pyle shazam?

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Jan 14, 2011 3:32 PM CST reply actions

Strangely enough ...

I’d yell “BUKKAKE” whenever DJK caught a TD pass.

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 14, 2011 11:28 PM CST reply actions

Not McNutt?

Because that’d make more sense.

by Schubial on Jan 15, 2011 2:27 AM CST up reply actions

Then again...

This is BHGP, not much makes sense ’round these parts.

by Schubial on Jan 15, 2011 2:38 AM CST up reply actions

I just need to stop reading any fan post that isn't rec'd or bumped by the BHGP crew

by Nefarious on Jan 15, 2011 3:02 AM CST reply actions

I'm surprised no one has given him crap about leaving a one score game in Q4.

He could have seen the win himself, and, if the GF was that ready to go, had his cake and ate it too (pun intended if he reciprocated?). I think the TC deserves a little crap for that.

And I also can’t decide if this fanpost was funny and worth reading, or disturbing on levels I can’t comprehend.

Because the Gulfstream 5 has neither the airspeed nor the specs to adequately describe how fly I feel.

by DonnyDonovan on Jan 15, 2011 12:28 PM CST reply actions

We need to create a rating systems for FanPosts, or something like that.

Obviously, language wouldn’t be rated, but perhaps something like:

G: Good for everyone
C: Careful – this might burn your eyes
X: Enter at your own risk.

And every naked molerat picture would be rated C, of course.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 15, 2011 1:20 PM CST reply actions

NSFW seems to work elsewhere when it comes to iffy content

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Jan 15, 2011 1:53 PM CST up reply actions

Good point

I was just shooting from the hip there. Take it with a grain of salt.

Going, going, going, going, going, going, going, going.... Alright, I'll stop for now.

by EnergizerHawk on Jan 15, 2011 2:12 PM CST up reply actions

Isn't it already supposed to be NSFW free?

At least in regards to pics? Or is that just porn free? If it’s the latter, what’s the diff between porn and NSFW? Is it Potter Stewart’s obscenity definition?

by PackerHawk on Jan 15, 2011 11:08 PM CST up reply actions

You'll know it when you shazam it.

by The Final Gun on Jan 16, 2011 6:37 AM CST up reply actions

We don't condone NSFW images. At least of the porn-y variety.

For reasons that should be pretty obvious. Naked mole-rat is probably NSFW, but hey.

If we condemned NSFW text we’d have to delete 2/3 of the Archives, I think.

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Jan 16, 2011 3:39 PM CST up reply actions

I'm not sure that naked mole rat is NSFW

it’s just an odd looking rodent. I know that text can be NSFW, which is why the State of Wisconsin’s internet filters only allow my dad to view about 1 in 10 articles I send him at work.

by PackerHawk on Jan 16, 2011 11:28 PM CST up reply actions