Shakespearean Opponents: Penn State Nittany Lions

by Lukateake on Sep 30, 2010 9:52 PM CDT

[Crying laughing at what would be the first ever JoePa Chronicles. Please to clickthru.--AJ]

"Julius Caesar"

Joe Paterno: Caesar
Tom Bradley: Brutus
Jay Paterno: Cassius
Ricky Stanzi: Mark Antony

The parallels are striking to Iowans conversant in the Bard.

Julius Caesar [Joe Paterno], the reigning elder statesman of the Republic (college football), has so transfixed the plebeians (fans) that they revere him as an omnipotent god. Their idolatry foments the ire of Cassius [Jay Paterno] and Brutus [Bradley], assistant coaches in the Penn Senate, who know Caesar's true infirmity.

Cassius, fearing that Caesar's febrile mind represents a mortal danger to the State (College), cajoles and misleads Brutus into join him to assassinate retire Caesar, thus restoring firm footing to the (Nittany) nation. The enormous fate of the "monstrous state" cannot rest within Caesar's fragile body (politic, or otherwise).

Brutus is ultimately persuaded by Cassius' misdealing and acquits himself that Caesar must be removed because his power represents an existential threat to the very institution (football team) Brutus has vowed to protect. Caesar is dispatched; rendered unto death (retirement) by those whom he loved most:

"E tu, Brute! Then fall, Caesar."

Brutus' own ambitions are laid bare in his hopes that the people will anoint himself the new caesar (head ball coach). However, Mark Antony [Stanzi], long an admirer of Caesar, eloquently informs the public of the conspirators machinations; thrice saying with building sarcasm:

"Brutus says [Caesar] was ambitious,
And Brutus is an honorable man.
If you don't love it, leave it.
Rome number one!"

Brutus and Cassius are driven from the city (sideline) ... which means that the Hawkeyes win!

Apropos of nothing, Antony intones:

"Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war (conference play)."

# # #

Previous Chapters

III: Ball State Cardinals -- "As You Like It"
II: Arizona Wildcats -- "Macbeth" [sighs]
I: Iowa State Cyclones -- "Much Ado About Nothing"

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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Comments

Fucking Scottish play

This all makes me wish I had read more Shakespeare. Not really, but at least I wish the majority of what I can remember wasn’t based off of the Reduced Shakespeare Company.

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Sep 30, 2010 10:19 PM CDT reply actions

Scottish?

You’re thinking MacBeth.

This is great stuff. Can we have Titus Andronicus for Minnesota? I’d like to feed Adam Weber stew to Brewster.

You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Oct 1, 2010 1:05 AM CDT up reply actions

Changed my mind.

I’d rather feed Dan Persa stew to Pat Fitzgerald for what he did to Stanzi last year.

You got no fear of the underdog; That's why you will not survive!

by YouCanPutYourEddsInIt on Oct 1, 2010 1:06 AM CDT up reply actions

Plebeian fans are so fickle.

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Oct 1, 2010 8:18 AM CDT up reply actions

All of a sudden the Scott Tenorman episode of South Park has a whole new meaning...

by Bucketochicken on Oct 1, 2010 6:36 AM CDT up reply actions

Yes, I'm thinking the play that shall not be named

which was Arizona.
Which we lost.
Fucking Scottish play. Just seeing it listed at the end pissed me off again.

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Oct 1, 2010 9:30 AM CDT up reply actions

You do realize that you aren't supposed to say the play's name, right?

Somebody did in the original thread, prior to the Arizona game, and see where it got us…

by edr247 on Oct 1, 2010 11:10 AM CDT up reply actions

I thought King Lear would be more appropriate

but you totally made the right choice. Well done.

by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Oct 1, 2010 1:41 AM CDT reply actions

If Ohio State is not Hamlet

I’m going to be chagrined.

Well done sir!

"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.

by StoopsMyAss on Oct 1, 2010 6:48 AM CDT reply actions

Having lived briefly there...

… I can definitively say that something is rotten in C-Bus.

But we’ll see; patience, good sirs. One game at a time. I have amnesia to the season beyond Saturday’s game. As it should be, methinks.

by Lukateake on Oct 1, 2010 8:00 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions

No.

Bellanca is right, Ohio State must be Henry V.

I blame the students for stink bugs, Iowa, and Ishtar.
Beat Iowa.

by ReadingRambler on Oct 1, 2010 8:05 AM CDT up reply actions

There is no finer soliloquy than that of Henry V, on the eve of all things.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Oct 1, 2010 6:13 PM CDT up reply actions

Bellanca said that?

Because the St Crispin’s Day Speech from Henry V is the most over the top example of SSwagger I can think of…Mr. Bellanca needs to come out of the swagger closet.

The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
God’s will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.

15th century trash talk my friend. At its finest.

"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.

by StoopsMyAss on Oct 1, 2010 8:23 AM CDT reply actions

I see we'll have to take this outside.

Grand statements of faith and devotion, in the brotherhood of arms, are at their core expressions of selflessness and humility.

That is all.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Oct 1, 2010 12:36 PM CDT up reply actions

Selflessness and humility.

Or, how Mike Daniels approaches his job.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Oct 1, 2010 12:53 PM CDT up reply actions

No, no it's rainy outside.

By the way…the word swagger was invented by the Bard:

1590, first recorded in Shakespeare (“Midsummer Night’s Dream,” III.i.79), probably a form of swag.

"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.

by StoopsMyAss on Oct 1, 2010 2:08 PM CDT up reply actions

Are you going to the OSU game?

We should meet, though I’m likely to be quoting Emerson rather than Shakespeare. With luck there will be a BHGP-affiliated debauchery somewhere beyond the reach of the new nanny-cops.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Oct 1, 2010 6:01 PM CDT up reply actions

No, no travel to Iowa City this year

but maybe the Northwestern game…maybe. And I would love to tie one on with ya!

"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.

by StoopsMyAss on Oct 2, 2010 12:29 PM CDT up reply actions

FYI, pal,

that’s a nondenial denial.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Oct 1, 2010 6:03 PM CDT up reply actions

Azincourt was a rainy, sloppy, mud-soaking mess. The independent land-owning yeoman delivered that victory.

Azincourt was won by the absence of nobility, by the unique attributes of the archer-yeomanry, the men who conquered through skill, unheralded strength, steadfastness in all things. Men who sought neither fame nor acclamation, but did their job in the face of overwhelming physical numbers. Azincourt was won those such as Iowans. And then drifted without notice back to their hearths and farms and villages without name.

The French nobility, no matter their 6-1 superiority in numbers and dress, were drowned (before they were poleaxed in brutal efficiency by those such as Clayborn) in mud and their own swaggering pretension. They fell like old trees, those that were not dispatched first by the able yeoman archers stretching longbows (Stanzi) that none, in febrile France, could pull.

Mr. Boh Knows ...

by Bellanca on Oct 1, 2010 6:12 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs