FanPost

Doing the Metaphorical.*

 

On Domination (and Pride, Delirium, and Unearned Triumphalism).

This is a lot of fun and all, and far be it from me to rain on the SMA "We're actually gods in black and gold" meme, but as a guy in the software business, I'm reminded of what happens when a development-stage company, after three years in a very unkind wilderness building its product, makes its first $million sale.  Let us Do the Metaphorical, soon to be a weekly feature.

How post-ISU euphoria is like building a software company that makes it's first $1 million+ license sale: 

a.  the salesmen get out their spreadsheets and calculate that they just have to make seven additional sales of like-quality, and they'll be driving a Modena to work, taking Scarlett Johannsson away from her husband so she can enjoy the majesty that is the after-game party at The Mill, and summering at Madaket;

b.  the venture capitalists call the ceo (this really happens) and tell him good job, but he'd better start working harder or he's fired unless he makes 17 like-sized sales in the next three months, because they need to get a $1 billion liquidity event in order to sell their house at Madaket and upgrade to a West Chop compound, complete with the first helipad authorized by Martha's Vineyard in 31 years;

c.  some twit from Goldman rings up and says to the ceo that he's a lock for the best software IPO of 2011 if he just completes 250 additional sales of identical class and character in the next 6 months; and,

d.  the ceo looks around and sees 75 half-insane people, overcome with pride, relief and wonder, who have been working 24x7 for three years, now strangely convinced that their wives maybe won't divorce them after all (for the gardener, since he's around more often), and wonders:  how the hell do I convince these people that the real work has just started?  Before going back to doodling about the pros and cons of a clean used Falcon 20 vs. a pleasant little single-pilot Citation, he walks out into his plain of cubicles and hangs a banner that says, 

MISSION NOT ACCOMPLISHED.

Iowans do not handle prosperity so well, my friends.  It's not in our DNA.  The gods have all fall to destroy this fine-appearing, lush crop of football joy: hail, floods, PAULAS, and jNWU.  Pride goeth.

*I sorta stole this concept from Spencer Hall.  But he deserves it for not mentioning us this week in The Alphabetical.

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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