Cornshoe Goes to the Big Ten Kickoff Luncheon
by Cornshoe Hammaker on Aug 4, 2010 9:03 PM CDT
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Print[Cornshoe, bringing the finest Big Ten Media Days update on any and every internet. This bump is de rigueur.--AJ]
After years of wanting to attend the Big Ten Kickoff Luncheon in Chicago, I was finally able to make it this year. This is a fabulous event and to me marks the unofficial start of the college football season. As has been discussed, this Kickoff Luncheon isn't the place to get in-depth questions answered or deep insights for the season. It's a chance for the fans to rub elbows with (and get photos with and autographs from) the players and coaches.
Details from the fun in the Windy City after the jump...
A large plaza area was set up outside the ballroom with the boys from the Big Ten Network holding court on their set, interviewing coaches during the day. But of most importance were the tables set up. Each school had a table set up and decorated, with players available at each one. A few coaches wandered the plaza areas, stopping for handshakes, photos and autographs, most notably, Tressel, Brewster and the Zooker. Ohio State had the longest line (most likely due to the fact that Tressel came over and was seated with his players). Indiana had the shortest line. Iowa had the second longest line and I was at the front of it...
I've now had my picture taken with both Stanzi and Leman. Does that get me in some sort of club?
But it wasn't just players and coaches that were in attendance. You haven't seen a bigger collection of mascots outside of a Capital One commerical, as all 11 Big Ten plushies and furries were on hand as well.
Bucky is secretly resentful of Brutus' horizontal stripe pattern.
Following the autograph session, the actual luncheon begain. ESPN's Rece Davis acted as the MC and did a great job, even pulling out his trademark impression of Lou Holtz. After a short video highlighting every team, each coach came up and made a few short remarks. Ferentz went first and was brief, classy and to the point. Eventually Brewster came up. Following his performance with the Media on Monday (as noted by Adam), Tim had an encore:
Number of times he referenced TCF Bank Stadium by its full name: 4
Number of times he said "great": 12
His speech was only 4 minutes long.
The luncheon itself was not quite two hours long. And if you missed your favorite player during the autograph session, it paid to stick around after things wrapped up...
The camera was afraid to get any closer to Mr. Clayborn. Just kidding. Karl Klug actually took this picture for me.
Finally with the day wrapped up there was time to get some business taken care of with Bloodpunch...
Well Gary, I'm glad we've got this Division thing sorted out. Now about getting the water tower painted Black and Gold...
Only 30 days and change until the season starts for real. Now I just have to figure out how to get my picture taken with Ace...
GO HAWKS!!!
Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.
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You clean up nicely
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Aug 4, 2010 9:19 PM CDT reply actions
Did Illinois get a new mascot?
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Aug 4, 2010 9:26 PM CDT reply actions
That is what I was wondering.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Aug 4, 2010 9:37 PM CDT up reply actions
The Fightin'... Landos?
Your move, Ole Miss…
"Kittens give Morbo gas."
by Bucketochicken on Aug 5, 2010 12:41 AM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
All Champaign-Urbana water coolers now filled with delicious Colt .45 Malt Liquor.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Aug 5, 2010 1:15 AM CDT up reply actions
Hmm.
That seems like it will just make it even easier to get drunk, get in a car accident, and leave your teammate to die.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
They've been leaving their teammates to die on the field for years.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Aug 5, 2010 12:40 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
Thank god
I thought I hallucinated that thing for a minute. It’s like a bobble head mascot come to kill us all
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Aug 5, 2010 1:44 AM CDT up reply actions
In the pic of the mascots...
who is the plain-looking mascot behind Herky?
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
And why is Brutus playing basketball?
Is he overlooking the entire football season?
One game at a time Brutus. First you have to get past Southwestern Rhode Island State Polytechnic A&M, or whoever their first cupcake is.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Aug 5, 2010 9:33 AM CDT up reply actions
As part of the Icons of the Big Ten
promotion that the BTN is doing, they had a likeness of a former basketball player from each school walking around. I think that’s supposed to be Glen Robinson from Purdue. BJ Armstrong represented Iowa.
Yee-Haw! I ride again!
by Cornshoe Hammaker on Aug 4, 2010 9:43 PM CDT reply actions
Bizarre.
I would think they could have just hired Glen Robinson to walk around the place for the day. I’d think $100 to $150 would have done it.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Aug 4, 2010 9:50 PM CDT up reply actions
Here, fixed it for you
I’d think $100 to $150 would have done it.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
by HoyaGoon on Aug 4, 2010 9:56 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
LOL
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Aug 4, 2010 11:09 PM CDT up reply actions
Nice Stanzi photo! Did you get an updated count on Ricky's wristbands?
In a recent photo I noticed he’s added a few sillybands and that his hands have turned permanently purple.
"I wish you luck with a capital 'F'" - The Real Elvis.
Love the last picture
Cornshoe, what a fantastic Mary Jo Buttafuoco impersonation! Did Bloodpunch put you up to doing that for the camera?
"I know you're from Middle America, and sometimes you feel like you're representing more than just a school or a conference, maybe an entire group of American citizens out there."
by Twin Cities Hawk on Aug 5, 2010 7:39 AM CDT reply actions
Where's the BOOM!?!?
Keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either, Dude.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Aug 5, 2010 7:39 AM CDT reply actions
Eventually, I will make my way to an Iowa game.
And I will pay you $50,000 for that tie.
"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here"
Ricky actually had both wrists...
covered in bracelets. But I know that with his work at the Children’s Hospital that each one means something to him.
Being taller than Adrian Clayborn just means he has a clearer shot of snapping me in half if I were dropped back in the pocket.
As far as Bloodpunch goes, he spotted Trololo in the rafters and actually tackled me to save me from another assassination attempt.
Yee-Haw! I ride again!
by Cornshoe Hammaker on Aug 5, 2010 8:45 AM CDT reply actions
Fine, fine work, sir.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
as all 11 Big Ten plushies and furries were on hand as well
True story: One of my best friends lives in the Chicago suburb of Arlington Heights and has furries for next-door neighbors. Yes, they have furry parties. She’s assuming they’re sexual furries parties, although doesn’t know for sure since she is not a furry herself and thus have never been to one of their furries parties.
Any comment, McCann't?
"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here"
by ReadingRambler on Aug 5, 2010 12:39 PM CDT up reply actions
What is that supossed to meaaaAAAAAAAAAACK! HooooaaAAAACCK!
Sorry, fur-ball lodged in my throat. As I was saying…what?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Aug 5, 2010 12:42 PM CDT up reply actions
I think what you mean to say is
Your mom is a furry
It's not that I'm lazy, Bob, it's that I just don't care
This scares me for two reasons:
1.) I live in Arlington Heights.
2.) I had to look it up on Wikipedia, but now I know what furries are.
I have a new found suspicion of everyone in my neighborhood.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Aug 5, 2010 2:59 PM CDT up reply actions
Either I'm getting WAY too old,
Or there just seem to be a whole lot more demented people out than there used to be.
Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian
Stick with more demented people.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Aug 5, 2010 4:51 PM CDT up reply actions
Stuff like this...
is the downside of freedom.
But, love it or leave it, I guess.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Aug 5, 2010 5:53 PM CDT up reply actions
If you live on or near Waterman, beware
She found out about the furries one night when her husband looked out at the window and wondered why all these mascots kept going in and out of the house next door. She asked another neighbor about it the next day and they filled them in on the furries. When she first told me the story, we all Googled it and got more than an eye full. It’s, um, interesting to say the least.
“filled them in on the furries.”
I’m sorry, but I had to highlight that phrase.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Aug 5, 2010 5:54 PM CDT up reply actions
This certainly puts the Capital One mascot challenge
in a new, and disturbing, light
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Aug 5, 2010 6:05 PM CDT up reply actions
C'mon, they had a whole CSI about furries or plushies or whatever...
…like 7 years ago. My grandparents watch it in syndication nightly (not that one episode mind you, but that’s where my exposure to the show comes from- – shows like CSI Miami are the reason I don’t have television).
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Aug 6, 2010 4:22 PM CDT up reply actions
Good work sir.
I eny you!
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride." HST
You must have stolen that tie from me
because I have the exact same one!
Great minds think alike I guess…
by HeroPatriotStanzi on Aug 5, 2010 10:53 AM CDT reply actions
I thought patriots only donned
getups with the American Flag, Bald Eagles, or red while and blue?
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride." HST
What's more patriotic than a Hawkeye tie?
by HeroPatriotStanzi on Aug 5, 2010 6:40 PM CDT up reply actions
scud missiles
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Aug 5, 2010 10:30 PM CDT up reply actions
Hey, nice photo of you on the Gazoo website too!
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Aug 5, 2010 12:00 PM CDT reply actions
I want to cut Adrian Clayborn's hair and keep it with me at all times.
"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here"
by ReadingRambler on Aug 5, 2010 4:28 PM CDT up reply actions
If that's Delilah
We can’t let her. He’ll lose his strength. Stop him/her!
Me gustan los estados unidos.
Excellent job.
I am quite jealous of you good sir.
I would have tried blocking Brutus’ shot and then towered over him and said “Expect more of the same this winter!”
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
I'm actually 6'5"...
but I’m still shorter than Hawkeye State.
Yee-Haw! I ride again!
by Cornshoe Hammaker on Aug 5, 2010 4:19 PM CDT up reply actions
Hawkeye State is secretly Les Jepsen.
"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here"
by ReadingRambler on Aug 5, 2010 4:27 PM CDT up reply actions
Jacobi once said HS looks like Roberto Begnini
while I still think he loos like the love child of Kyle Orton and Gheorghe Muresan.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Aug 5, 2010 6:11 PM CDT up reply actions
Yeah, but he doesn't have a tie that cool.
It’s almost as awesome as JoePa’s which is blue and white tie with little whales.
"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here"
by ReadingRambler on Aug 5, 2010 9:49 PM CDT up reply actions
No tie will ever be as awesome as the tie you just described.
Unless it’s the same pattern on a bow tie.
by The Mexican't on Aug 5, 2010 11:22 PM CDT up reply actions
"What are those? Little snails?"
“They’re jockeys.”
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Aug 6, 2010 4:27 PM CDT up reply actions
I don't understand
Why Stanzi has Beatle hair. Seems so un-American. He should have real American hair.
Me gustan los estados unidos.
While I agree to an extent
The founding fathers wore wigs.
So for Stanzi, the choice is wigs or ZZ Top.
"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here"
by ReadingRambler on Aug 5, 2010 9:48 PM CDT up reply actions
And wigs come off when you play football
unless you use glue, which can explode. And exploding quarterbacks are bad.
Me gustan los estados unidos.
I built this cruse missle to stop them kids from playing ZZ Top.
Too high? What do you mean too high?
by The Bacon Explosion on Aug 6, 2010 10:19 AM CDT up reply actions
If I met Ricky Stanzi
Rather than a picture I would get out my cell phone and get into the voicemail menu and have it ready and have him record his voice…
“This is Ricky Stanzi and you’ve reached HawKCP…he’s not available right now so Love it or Leave a Message…after the beep.”
Or something like that…way better than a picture.
Yes I did steal this idea from a Bill Simmons mailbag…in which the person did it with a much more perceptible voice (Morgan Freeman)…but it’d still be sweet.
by HawKCP on Aug 7, 2010 11:16 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Cornshoe
I am watching the B10 kickoff show and see your handsome face popping up between Zook and DickRod while being interview by Dinardo. It reminds of that woody Allen movie Zelig.
If you feel like singing along, don't.
James Taylor
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