INPIYL2I: Cupcakes Won't Make You Fat, Right?

It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It is BHGP's regular news roundup. Send all tips to any of the email addresses at the bottom of the page. But preferably not all of them at once. We usually end up laughing at people who do that.

Cupcake overload in 3... 2... 1... The newly-redesigned Hawk Central breaks down Iowa's non-conference football schedules for the next four years and it's not pretty, if by "pretty" you mean "actual, competitive games that are interesting for more than a half."

2011: Tennessee Tech, Pittsburgh, Louisiana-Monroe, @ Iowa State

2012: Northern Illinois (@ Soldier Field), Iowa State, Northern Iowa, and Central Michigan

2013: Northern Illinois, Western Michigan, Missouri State, @ Iowa State

2014: Northern Iowa, Ball State, Iowa State, @ Pittsburgh

Ugh.  Out of 12 16 total non-conference games, that's just six against BCS opponents, which is two fewer than normal (and six ten less than most fans would like to see, but that's a different argument), with those surplus spots being filled by more MACrificial lambs.  And Western Michigan -- who invited them back?  They've been thoroughly inhospitable guests twice now, after all.  In any event, let's hope that the Big Ten scheduling monkeys put some interesting games on the conference slate in those years (especially 2012 and 2013), because Iowa's athletic department isn't doing us many favors in that area.

Weghergate, Day Whatever.  There's really no news to report regarding Brandon Wegher's status with the team: he's still not practicing with the team, although he is enrolled for fall classes and is (apparently) still attending classes.  But per ESPN's Adam Rittenberg, Ferentz is all but turning the page on Wegher's involvement this season; we'd probably be wise to do the same.

"He isn't here, and we have to operate as if he's not going to be here this year," Ferentz told ESPN.com. "He may return sometime during the year, he may not and he may never come back. Right now, we have to move forward, and I'm just hopeful that he'll immerse himself in his classes and keep moving forward academically.

"If he chooses to come back, that'd be wonderful, but we've had a lot of time elapse."

At this point, the best case scenario is that this year is Wegher's year at the furniture store, figuratively speaking. Hopefully he gets his personal life sorted out and is able to come back to the team next year and if not, at least he finishes his Iowa career with the greatest highlight of anyone this side of Warren Holloway.  In the meantime, it's probably time to move ahead with the season and accept that our three-head monster at running back is now a two-headed beast.  Oh, and the DAS PAKIBOMB Advisory System is holding steady at Orange for EIU.

No games on ESPN means no Vitale, right?  Hmm, maybe that's not the worst trade-off...  As FOTP Bama Hawkeye pointed out recently, ESPN released their full broadcast schedule of Big Ten conference games in hoopyball in 2010-2011 and Iowa is featured -- hold on, let me do the math here -- a grand total of once (against Indiana on 2/5/2011).  Well, twice after they pick up our 3/5/2011 tilt with Purdue to decide the Big Ten title, right?  Yeah, so just the one game.  That marks the second year in a row that ESPN has chosen to air just one Iowa game during Big Ten play; not that we blame them, really -- we wouldn't have wanted to expose last year's Iowa basketball team to a national audience, either.  Not without multiple content advisory labels and complimentary HAZMAT suits, anyway.  Iowa's game in the Big Ten-ACC Challenge should also be on the ESPN family of networks (ed. note: yep, ESPNU), but other than that get ready to settle in for another winter full of RO*TEL and Barbasol commercials on BTN.  More troubling is the fact that ESPN also announced the travel schedule for the hoops version of College Gameday... and Iowa City didn't make the cut.  Which is just shocking, frankly; why wouldn't Rece, Digger, Dick, and the rest of the gang want to spend their Saturday at a half-empty Carver-Hawkeye?  Philistines.

Speaking of baskets-ball, the full Iowa schedule for 2010-2011 also came out recently and it is a humdinger.  If by "humdinger" you mean "something that is catastrophically dull."  The season tips off on 11/14 with a home date against South Dakota State (we're comin' for you, Jackrabbits!) before winding down March 10-13 at the Big Ten Tournament (although the schedule also hopefully lists NCAA Tournament dates, which is utterly ludicrous). The schedule features multiple Sunday/Wednesday games, so plan your schedule accordingly if you're inclined to watch the Iowa hoopyballers (don't worry, we've seen the future and TV sucks on those nights anyway).  There's also seven weekend home games, including four during conference play, which may actually help draw a few more souls to CHA.

BANK SHOTZ

  • Remember the talk about the Penn State night game being a "Black & Gold Spirit Game"?  Well, it's happening... and it will probably be a dismal failure.
  • Iowa hoopyball, on a "best of" list?  Pull on your hightop Nikes, rock a hi-top fade, and journey back to a time when Iowa basketball wasn't a cruel joke -- the '80s.  As that decade continues to recede into the distance, Iowa hoops' ranking on lists like that is going to sink like a stone; the Alford and Lickliter eras were albatrosses that we won't soon shed. (h/t commenter snley)
  • And finally, Cee-Lo Green shows you how to handle a break-up properly (NSFW):

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