FanPost

Who's your Nemesis? Video Game Edition

This post is not sponsored by EA Sports NCAA 11 that came out today.  However, I heartily endorse that product or event.

In light of NCAA 11 coming out today and discussion going on in other comment threads (namely here) I started thinking about video games I used to play.  Now everyone has their one go-to guy (Roenick, Bo, Vick, etc) or play in every game to defeat the computer, but what I want to know is who is your computer-controlled nemesis?  The guy that no matter what you do when you play against the computer, he always scores a goal,  hits three home runs, sacks you twice, and is just an overall pain the ass.

My list is after the jump.

In no particular order:

Al Noga - Tecmo Super Bowl

I don't know what it was about this guy, but he would always kick my ass.  You could write in 3 sacks and probably a forced fumble for him if I played against the Vikings.

Kirk Fucking Muller - NHLPA '93 and NHL '94

This fucking guy sucks so much.  I hate him in real life solely because of his video game domination of me.  Whenever I would play the goddamned Canadiens I would have a tough game on my hands.  Not only because they were good and had Patrick Roy (a goalie who was pretty much impossible to score on, but you expect that) but because Kirk Fucking Muller would score at least 2 goals against me (one of which being a tying or winning goal) and probably hurt my best player.  What an ass!  What?  You want video evidence?

Yes, I know that it wasn't against the computer and the offsides was off, but come on!  He had 5 Goals (3 shorthanded!!) and an assist.  But, that's the typical Kirk Fucking Muller.  God, I need to move on, I'm angry now.

Mike Tyson - Mike Tyson's Punchout

Ok, this is a bit of a stretch, mainly because he's the Boss and the game's named after him, but he was impossible for me to beat.  Sure, I could knock him down a few times, but there was no way I was going to stay off the mat 3 times over the course of a 3 round fight.  No way, not this Little Mac.

Matt Nokes - RBI Baseball

Lead-off HR, every time.

Paul Kariya and Teemu Selanne - Any NHL after 2000

Guaranteed 1 goal, and that's with me shadowing him every time I realize he's on the ice.  Whenever he crosses my blue line I pretty much have a heart attack.  I send as much fire power as I can at him and hope he passes the puck.

Donkey Kong - Mario Kart 64

Ok, not a real athlete, but he drove me (and my roommates) crazy.  We would always have our regular drivers, but nobody ever chose DK (or, whenever we did he completely sucked).  For whatever reason, whenever the CPU controlled him you would hear us yell "Fuckin' DK!" at least once every 2 races.  He would never go on to win, but he would do just enough to screw you out of a victory.

Let the discussion begin... who's your toughest computer-controlled opponent?

Unless otherwise expressly indicated by BHGP editors, this FanPost is strictly the viewpoint of the author and is not endorsed by BHGP in any way.

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