Ricky Stanzi: The SpyHunter Saga

Spyhunter_medium

Somewhere on the east coast...

Stanziicon_medium Man, there's nothing like safeguarding freedom and democracy in America by busting up a Russian spy ring to make the summer go by faster.  Right, Adrian?

Iconclayborn_medium Damn straight.  And that Russian chick was pretty hot.  You know, for an evil commie spy.

Stanziicon_medium It sure as heck beats helping Ken organize his sock drawer.  But there's one thing about that bust that's still bugging me... 

Iconclayborn_medium Yo, what's that, Ricky?

Stanziicon_medium Well, if it hadn't been for some quick thinking on Ace's part to bite through their brake lines, those Russian spies might have escaped.  It's almost like they knew we were coming... 

Iconclayborn_medium You saying we got a spy in our crew, Ricky?

Stanziicon_medium I don't know.  I know it wasn't me and you were knocking out their getaway driver -- 

Iconclayborn_medium Fuckin' cabbies.

Stanziicon_medium -- and Ace was biting through the brake lines.  Wait... 

Iconace_medium ARF?

Stanziicon_medium I know where I was and I know where you guys were, but... where was Sexy Cop during the raid?  Did you see her?

Iconclayborn_medium Nope.

Iconace_medium ARF

Stanziicon_medium Alright, Sexy Cop, where were you when all this was going down?

Iconsexycop_medium Um, waiting in the car.  You know, in case they escaped and we needed to chase them down.

Iconclayborn_medium That's bullshit, Ricky.  You know Ace had the keys -- he always drives.

Stanziicon_medium That's true, he is an excellent driver.

Iconace_medium ARF!

Stanziicon_medium Were you really waiting in the car, Sexy Cop?

Iconsexycop_medium Da -- I mean, yes.

Stanziicon_medium "Da"?  Only Russians say that!  Pull over, Ace!

Iconsexycop_medium Bah!  So you've uncovered my secret? умереть, американских свиньи!

Gun_medium BANG BANG

Stanziicon_medium Look out!

(Stanzi and Clayborn swerve to avoid the bullets)

Iconsexycop_medium га ха! У вас нет надежды, грязный американских! Моя товарищей будет здесь любую минуту убить вас!

Stanziicon_medium Ace, bogey dead ahead!

Spy-hunter-screenshot_medium

Iconace_medium ARF ARF

Stanziicon_medium Nice shooting, Ace!

Iconsexycop_medium Ба! Вы только задержки на неизбежность ваш Doom, американских собаки!

Iconclayborn_medium Aw hell, shut up, you commie bitch. 

Serie_kapow-728628_medium

Stanziicon_medium Nice punch, Adrian.  I don't normally condone violence against women, but I'll make an exception for commie spies.

Iconclayborn_medium Damn straight.

Stanziicon_medium Ace, pull over so we can get to the bottom of this.

Games-spy_edited-1_medium

Stanziicon_medium Good lord, she's wearing a wig!  Let's see what she really looks like... 

131_medium

Iconclayborn_medium What the hell?!  Yo, Ricky, I thought we already busted that hot Russian broad.

131_medium га ха!  Stupid American!  "Anna" was my twin!  

Stanziicon_medium Hot damn, evil twins!  This just gets more and more twisted.  

Iconace_medium ARF!

Stanziicon_medium Alright, Sexy Cop, time to come clean -- who were you working with?  Who's your Russian handler?

131_medium ARCHE! I' ll погибнуть прежде, чем я говорить Вам грязный свиней.

Stanziicon_medium Blast!  We need to get her back to HQ, Adrian.  I think J speaks Russian.

1113205515_img_8010_medium bang bang

131_medium  Dosvedanya... assholes.  (dies)

Stanziicon_medium Dammit!  Now how are we going to get to the bottom of this mess?

(Meanwhile, 200 yards away...)

Iconcell_medium BRING BRING

Vladimir-putin_medium Well?  Is it done?

Icontrolololo_medium TROLOLOLOLO

Vladimir-putin_medium Good.  Sexy Cop was a loose end that could not be tolerated.  

Icontrolololo_medium TROLOLOLOLO?

Vladimir-putin_medium Nyet.  It is not yet time to eliminate the Ameristanzi and his comrades.  Our master wants to do that personally.

Iconjoepa_medium YES THAT IS TRUE.  THOSE LONG-HAIRED HIPPIE DO-GOODERS AND THEIR MONGREL DOG ARE ALMOST AS ANNOYING AS THE FILTHY SPANIARDS.  THEIR DEMISE MUST BE CAREFULLY PLANNED, JUST AS I PLOTTED THE DOWNFALL OF THE OTTOMAN EMPIRE IN MY YOUNGER DAYS.  GODFORSAKEN TURKS.

 

To be continued...?

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