WORLD CUP OPEN THREAD, DAY 19: That Future's Getting Written, All Right
by Adam Jacobi on Jun 29, 2010 6:30 AM CDT
in Iowa Hawkeyes News
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Notice something? Mainly, that of all those soccer players featured, only one's left before we're even done with the round of 16? Ronaldinho didn't even get invited to South Africa, Franck Ribery and France got embarrassed, Fabio Cannavaro and Disastro Italia fared no better, Didier Drogba had to play through a broken arm (didn't go so well), and Wayne Rooney scored as many goals in World Cup play as you, the reader, before England flamed out. Even smirkers Landon Donovan and Tim Howard were dispatched by Ghana, which isn't even a real country*.
The remaining star is Cristiano Ronaldo, the Portuguese forward featured at the end of the commercial. His team faces Spain today (1:30 PM, ESPN) to finish off Round of 16 play. Both teams are ranked in the top 3 worldwide by FIFA, making their matchup in the first round of knockout play detestably unfair. We might see PKs on this one. For once.
But back to the curse: there is one thing we noticed about this alternate universe where the currently suffering stars of the commercial are heroes. After all, there must be some reason why none of their good fortunes have come to pass...
Aha; they've been using a normal soccer ball! DAMN YOU, JABULANI!
Also, bitter geographic rivals Japan and Paraguay play (8:30 AM, ESPN). This one's for all the sushi and/or sopa paraguaya!
*Not for long, anyway, if CIA director Leon Panetta's a soccer fan.
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That's what I get
…for having four YouTube windows open at once.
Before I replace the video, I’ll just point out that Earl Greyhound will be performing Saturday at 80/35, and you all should at least get single-day passes and see them and Yo La Tengo and Spoon.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Jun 29, 2010 7:08 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
All those British kids
who were going to be named Wayne shall be named Angela instead…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fUq5MAU_cA
by Patrick_the_Ruminator on Jun 29, 2010 6:44 AM CDT reply actions
What hte hell am I going to do tomorrow?
No games for the first time in two and a half weeks! Can’t we get a North Korea-Cameroon consolation game so one of them goes home with a win?
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
Thanks for just ruining my day
Now I’m going into watching Spain v. Portugal knowing that I have to wait until Friday to see games again because not only are there no games tomorrow, but there aren’t any on Thursday either.
What’s the point of being a teacher and not working in the summer if I can’t watch the World Cup?!?!
"If Ron Zook were an ice cream flavor, it would be praline and retard"
-Garth Algar
by Tree Meister on Jun 29, 2010 10:00 AM CDT up reply actions
I second that.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Jun 29, 2010 12:00 PM CDT up reply actions
While this game continues to grind its way towards penalties...
I would like to take a moment to note my sadness that Denmark is no longer in this tournament, if only because this was their World Cup anthem.
You are full of win, Denmark. Not in the on the field sense, of course, but in the ways that matter.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
This game is, um, not something I would use to get people hooked on soccer.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Well, that accomplished a lot
They ran around for two hours just so they could essentially line up at 10 paces and shoot.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
by BoilerTMill on Jun 29, 2010 11:30 AM CDT up reply actions
A 0-0 shootout win can still be a good game
However, this was not exciting in the least
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
by ClaybornSmash on Jun 29, 2010 12:12 PM CDT up reply actions
And the inevitable arrives: penalty shootout!
Still an unfair way to decide a game, but oh-so-gripping…
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Endo's PK was oh so confusing to Paraguay's goalie.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Jun 29, 2010 11:38 AM CDT reply actions
Portugal had better lose the skirt and attack this afternoon
No more of these 0-0 ties.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
Paraguay wins.
And CONMEBOL continues to own this tournament.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
only appropriate
the last World Cup was an all-Europe Final 4. this time it could be all-CONMEBOL. Ghana is the sole hope for a first time winner outside of Europe or South America.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
Surprised ronaldo didn't trip and fall on the white line
What American equivalent represents his petulant whining and diving?
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
American?
Or American sports athlete? The guys I’d suggest (Crosby, Ginobli, etc.) are not ’Murican by birth.
Maybe Peyton Manning
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
Group winners
Every group winner except the U.S. has won so far.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
Goals... pfft, who needs 'em.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
HT
0-0.
Perhaps not the finest day of soccer today.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I'm sorry, what?
I think I have fallen into a coma.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
On the plus side...
I think there were more shots on goal in the first 20 minutes of this game than in the entire 120 minutes of the Paraguay-Japan game. If they get back to that pace, surely goals will come, right? (Right?)
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
If that had bounced in...
I would’ve super-man punched my plasma t.v.
Now that I've purchaed David Villa
There’s no way he scores a goal. In fact, if a goal is scored, it’ll probably be by Torres. Casillas will also have a clean sheet to ensure that I threw away as many points as possible.
A-ha, so it's your fault...
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
He got one now
It’s about friggin’ time
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
That's Villa's 5th goal of the tournament
right?
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
Fourth.
Two against Chile, one while playing Honduras. He’s also got an assist (Chile).
by The Mexican't on Jun 29, 2010 3:08 PM CDT up reply actions
4th, I think.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Hey! A goal!
Villa nets one for Spain to put them up 1-0. Guess Portugal will have to do something besides play for penalties now.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
I admit ...
to a bro-crush on David Villa.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Jun 29, 2010 2:54 PM CDT reply actions
Best quarterfinal
I’m really looking forward to Argentina-Germany. That’s going to be great. If you’re an ex-Nazi who do you cheer for, the country that helped you rise to power, or the one that hid your crimes against humanity?
Ghana-Uruguay looks good too because of the underdog factor.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
COUGH -- u.s. space program -- COUGH, COUGH
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Jun 29, 2010 3:13 PM CDT up reply actions
Thank you...
….I was gonna say, “But the US is already out of the tourny.”
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Jun 29, 2010 3:56 PM CDT up reply actions
My favorite line from "The Right Stuff"
No! Our Germins our better zan zere Germins.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Jun 29, 2010 4:28 PM CDT up reply actions
Ranking them...
1) Argentina-Germany
2) Brazil-Netherlands
3) Uruguay-Ghana
4) Paraguay-Spain
Argentina and Germany both appear to have very strong attacks and potentially porous defenses. Brazil and the Netherlands have rarely appeared to be in first gear in this tourney, but they both have loads of potential. Uruguay and Ghana is fun for the underdog factor. I think Spain will roll Paraguay.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
It may not be overly exciting.
But I think the kneeslide may be my favorite celebration in sports. I wish more sports gave their athletes an opportunity to kneeslide.
Portugal yet to register a shot in the 2nd half.
Spain’s ability to set up shop and maintain possession is stupid.
Red card for Portugal probably seals the game.
Not that they’d done much beforehand, but playing Spain with just 10 men is not going to lead to many shot opportunities.
FT!
Spain 1, Portugal.
Adios, Ronaldo.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
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