Captain Portugal is on their side; they cannot lose. (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images)
6:30 CT, ESPN: North Korea vs. Portugal (Group G). This one is now ovah and it, uh, did not go well for the North Koreans and their faux fans in South Africa. Portugal took a 1-0 lead into halftime, then unleashed a torrent of goals in the second half to win 7-0. Hot damn. The result eliminates North Korea from the competition, while Portugal moves into a solid spot in Group G (4 points, 2nd place, +7 goal difference) with only a game against Brazil remaining. They would have to get utterly bushwhacked and have Ivory Coast lay a hellacious beating on North Korea to not make it into the next round. Oh, and Prissy McFlopsalot finally scored a goal, too.
9:00 CT, ESPN: Chile vs. Switzerland (Group H). Switzerland had the shock result of the first set of group stage games, knocking off Spain 1-0 behind a wacky goal and some resolute defending. That defense will be put to the test against Chile, a side that would send the goalkeeper forward if it wasn't, you know, completely insane. Suffice to say: they like to throw guys forward and try to score goals. Only a herculean effort from the Honduran goalie prevented Chile from scoring more than one goal against Honduras. A win here for either side clinches a spot in the next round.
1:30 CT, ESPN: Spain vs. Honduras (Group H). As noted, it took a massive effort from the Honduran goalie not to be drowned in goals against Chile; as a reward he now gets to face a pissed-off Spain team that needs a win and is expected to be welcoming Fernando Torres back to the line-up. Good luck, lad.
Anyhoo, usual rules of game threads apply: no porn, no discussion of piracy; if you can't watch the game on TV, there are legal online streams at ESPN3.com. Beyond that, the topic is verboten.