Hawkeye Confessions

I own a FSU sweatshirt, and I’ve worn it inside kinnick stadium, though not on a game day.

I don’t really like our colors. When you buy a t-shirt, the gold is usually yellow and I look horrible in yellow. And a black shirt in the summer is just horrible. Plus it just has the whole bumble bee thing going on. We’re not the worst though. Illinois is blue and orange. Ugh.

1. I really don’t hate ISU or their fans. Sure, losing to them sucks, but most of the time I can ignore them and pity them.

2. I have always been a fan of Michigan, except when they’re playing Iowa. RichRod, however, is really testing my patience and may kill my fandom.

3. Living in ACC/SEC country, I’ve given up on trying to convince them about Big Ten supremacy. And honestly, sometimes the SECers make a good point (not often, but still).

4. I was thisclose to attending jNWU (I also got into Michigan) and only applied to Iowa to make my parents happy (but never intended to go there)

5. I felt that Hayden Fry stuck around too long and the game had passed him by.

6. From 1997-2001 seasons, I probably watched a grand total of five Iowa football games. In my defense, it was awfully hard to find them on tv during the lean years when living in DC

I used to wear North Carolina crap as a kid. I loved their school colors and UNC logo.

I too felt Fry stayed in coaching way past his prime.

I once bought an ISU shirt and wore it to a game at Arrowhead Stadium when they played FSU in 2002.

I used to be a fan of Meatchicken until the 2004 season when they broke our home winning streak.

I once bet against the Hawks during the 2004 season. It was the ASU game, we all know how that turned out. Needless to say, I will never bet against Iowa again!

I am pissed they never added a giant tigerhawk logo at midfield when they installed field turf.

I hate Hawkeye vodka.

I once pissed on a passed out golpher fan during a gameday tailgate at Kinnick. In my defense I was drunk as hell and could not control my aim.

mid-90s “banana wing” uniforms.

“Rocky Top” is my favorite fight song.

I think the “Back In Black”/“Enter Sandman” intro is fucking LAME.

I too, missed a lot of games during those lean late-Fry/early KF years.

I like Northwestern. And Fitz.

I have only been to one Iowa men’s BB game in my entire life (vs Drake? back when Vanilla Gorilla was still playing).

In 4th grade I wrote a fan letter to Roy Marble. I’m pretty sure the salutation I used was “Dear Junior Jamalot.” It was typed. On a typewriter.

I married into an Illini family. A die-hard, bleeding blue n’ orange Illini family.

I peed in the Fieldhouse pool when I swam at State in 1995.

I like Illinois basketball. Well, more like “respect” and “enjoy watching.” I don’t exactly actively root for them or anything. But still.

I WILL PUNCH EVERY ONE OF YOU SUCKERS IN THE FACE AT THE BHGTailgate FOR SAYING THESE BLASPHEMOUS THINGS ABOUT MY TEAM!

Banana wings— they killed.
Fry— should STILL be coaching.
ISU— hate, hate, hate.
Hawkeye Vodka— delicious, I drink it with every meal (great on cap’n crunch).
Tiger Hawk— should have been on Nile Kinnick’s helmet (I know, I know).
Wisky, Illi-noise, Bitchigan— hate em ALL.
Black and Gold— every team’s colors should be black and gold (don’t know exactly how that would work, but…).
Lean years— I was in the front row of the student section.
Fieldhouse pool— should be filled with pee.
Anything else derogitory about my beloved Hawkeyes— just die.

It feels good to get all of that off my chest… y’know, since we’re all friends here.

1. I also think that Herky is in serious need of an upgrade.

2. I think the “new” tigerhawk logo looks terrible. The classic round one looks great – the new one that looks like it’s caught in a terrible windstorm – not so much.

3. I live in Phoenix, and ASU has way hotter girls than Iowa City.

4. I am also disappointed that they didn’t put a hawk logo at midfield when they put in turf.

5. I played against Greg Brunner in high school, and never thought he would make it as a D-1 athlete.

6. I still haven’t gotten over the fact that we lost to the SCLSU Muddogs.

Though I’m currently involved with an Iowa lass, the women in the south will ALWAYS trump the women from IA city (looks wise)

I once wore a Stanford hat to an Iowa game, and made it onto the JUMBOTRON…and was booed

I cheered for Pierre Pierce (Ugh) when he came back after his first offense, and was miserable when Kyle “Bonecrusher” Williams left the program

I went to Drake, and cheered my ass off for them whenever the Hawks played in Des Moines, AND the one Drake game I attended in IA city I was probably the most vocal Bulldog supporter there.

I still believe that the Northwestern State NCAA loss is my fault as after they got up by double digits (for the second time) I loudly pronounced that, "IT"S IN THE BAG!" screw me

1) I think the truck part of the intro is dumb and am not crazy about using “Enter Sandman” because it feels like ripping off “Virginia Tech” a little. I love “Back in Black,” though.

2) I too wish Herky looked better, although hating on Grandpa Herky at Homecoming is mildly blasphemous.

3) I think CHA sucks and that Hilton is much better.

4) I booed Kyle McCann lustily in the 2001 Michigan game, something which I regret a bit now.

I lived and breathed Iowa football and basketball for 18 years and commited the ultimate treason by attending Iowa State.

My father disowned me when he heard the news. I’m dead serious.
He looked at me and said “you are not my son.”

based on that ridiculous plan announced by the athletic department to deal with the overflow of new ticket applicants.

1. is my favorite number for a football player because of Drew Tate.
   My first Hawkeye game was not in Kinnick (Arrowhead against K-State)
   I have never seen the Hawkeyes beat Northwestern and have seen them lose to jNW at both Kinnick and Ryan.
   I badly want to attend a game in the Big House
   I own a Georgia and jNW cap.
   I considered jNW my second favorite team for a while (had a brother attend there for a few years so saw many games)
   I hate the burrito lift and all the other bull shit they have on the screens during time outs

1. I love the Enter Sandman and Back In Black intros, although they should both likely be louder.

2. The truck video needs to be gorier or more exciting.

3. I haven’t been to an Iowa basketball game in 7 years.

4. I refused to wear anything over or under my short-sleeved shirt at the Orange Bowl, and consequently had a hard time focusing on the game (or was that the adrenaline?)

5. I listen to “In Heaven There Is No Beer” on a daily basis during the offseason.

6. I have never tailgated before an Iowa home game (although I have afterward).

7. I like Kirk Ferentz better as a coach than Hayden Fry, but GODDAMN IT FRY’S AVIATORS WERE COOL!

8. Burrito Life, Smile Cam, Kiss Cam, and nearly everything else done during commercial breaks or halftime sucks dick.

9. What happened to “Start Me Up” before kickoff? It wasn’t that great, but it was pretty good.

10. I have a clock on my FaceBook page counting down the hours until September 4th, 2010.

It was my Bachelor party, and I was getting hammered. Fortunately, we were downtown in Chicago and walked by an Iowa bar. I watched the rest of it there, but I was bailed out by fate.

I turned off the Indiana game in the 3rd quarter. I just couldn’t watch it. I had no faith.

I’ve been in attendance for 2 of the 3 most recent losses to NW (not this year). I’m thinking about attending this year.

I don’t use Barbasol. I don’t like Barbasol.

And Abbas, you seriously think that POS Buckeye is a better mascot? No offense, but BOOOOO!

SEC fans seem to have about as much passion only ("What is basketball?) about their schools football teams than Big Televen fans.

I like Paul Rhoads.

Oh wait, it’s not that kind of confession
1. I claim to be born of Hawkeye blood, but my dad is a BV grad and my mom is an ISU grad (but both instilled Hawkfandom in my brain at birth).
2. I am quite sure my grandfather would have disowned me if I was not an Iowa fan.
3. I get tears in my eyes almost every time I hear or see: Tate to Holloway, Chuck Long’s bootleg against MSU, 7 gets 6 this year, or… ah hell… about anything exciting in Hawkeye football, including the run-up to the first home game of the season.
4. I hate the shortened version of “On Iowa” with a fiery passion, and hate that they play it over and over again at football games.
5. I STILL wish Tom Davis was our basketball coach.
6. Hawkeye Vodka is a staple of my alcohol cupboard during football season (so is Black Velvet).
7. I am jealous of my cousin and his wife for claiming “The Iowa Fight Song” as their wedding song before I got a chance to.
8. I have told all of my siblings that if they get married on the day of a home game, they will be getting hitched without me… and I mean it (ask my college roommates if I am serious).
9. I am hesitant to let the lease expire on my apartment here in IC, even though I work in Marion, because it won’t be as easy to get to Iowa games.
10. If I ever have twin boys, they will have the names “Kirk” and “Hayden” somewhere in their names.
There’s more but that’s enough for now. (Oh, 1 more… I am refusing to grade papers because I am confessing my Hawkeye-related sins and reading/waiting to read others’ confessions).

1.) I knew embarrassingly little about college sports before I went to Iowa
2.) The little I did know about college sports was related to Illini basketball
3.) I was an Andy Kaufmann fanboy.
4.) I’m a bit embarrassed of our football student section sometimes. We could be louder and more into the game. And our chants could be more organized.
5.) I went to every home football game in my 5 years at Iowa (graduating in 4 years is for pussies, or smart people…whichever) and have been to several since graduating, but I’ve never been to a Hawkeye Basketball game. I had every intention once when my friend Libby had free courtside tickets, but we got too drunk at the Wig & Pen and decided to keep the party going at the Column
6.) I don’t know the words to the school song and can’t understand why most people I know who went to Iowa don’t either.
7.) I don’t really mind Minnesota. I have a ton of friends up there and Minneapolis is a damn cool city.

1. I have only attended 2 Hawkeye football games, 4 Basketball, and 1 wrestling meet

2. I wish Stevie was still the Bball coach. He may have been an asshat but he knew how to win and recruit

3. I am 20, and only started watching football when i was 15

4. I own a gophers, badgers, UNI and ISU shirt

5. I like Kirk Better than Hayden

6. I never understood the Shada hate

7. My second fav team is Wisky. They remind me too much of Iowa

8. I love it when we play Purdue at Kinnick. The colors go so well together and it looks cool

9. I almost hit a gay man who tried to get me to sign a petition to remove the pink locker rooms

10. I skipped my cousins wedding for the Iowa/ISU game in 08

1. I owned and a Penn State sweatshirt as a kid (80’s) and loved wearing it.

2. I married into a rabid Minnesota season ticket holding family. I dread the day that they get to pay me back for being such a smug Hawkeye lover.

3. I watched a grand total of one Hawkeye basketball game this year.

4. I freaking love Madison and think Wisconsin alumni are the bee’s knees, too.

3.) I love the Carmen Ohio tradition and I wish that we would sing Alma Mater Iowa after home games.

4.) I think Ferentz is a better coach than Fry was.

5.) I am enamored with pretty much all things Wisconsin.

Also;

I have watched the ending to the Warren Holloway Capital One Bowl well over 100 times.

I like Michigan State’s fight song way too much.

I actually smiled and clapped for jNW after they beat us at Dyche in ’95 (I was 15, give me a break).

I actually only hate Illinois.

I have never disliked an Iowa State coach (although Sage Rosenfels can eat shit-covered glass).

Every PIN, passcode and combination I used until the last two years had to do with Iowa-related dates, scores and records.

I love Tom Izzo, Bo Ryan and Matt Painter.

I don’t actually think we tailgate that hard/well.

I believe with every fiber of my being that the Big Ten is the most difficult conference to play football in (not necessarily the one with the best teams).

1) I’ve shown up to an Iowa game higher than balls and with a flask of vodka on me. In that way, I am the same as Joe Fermino.

2) I used to not tailgate before Iowa games. Then I started, and I kinda didn’t like it a whole lot. Now I’m glad I don’t live in Iowa City. Sorry, but day-drinking on a hangover is asking to feel like shit.

3) I have an ISU girlfriend. I’m so sorry.

4) Back in 1996, I had written George Washington into the next round on my bracket with about 8 minutes left in the game. Iowa, as you’ll recall, won the game. So I tried it again for the next round against Arizona when Iowa was getting crushed again. That’s when I figured out that things that I do in my living room have nothing to do with the sports on TV. I figured that out at 14 years old. So… what’s your excuse?

5) I frequently regret not pushing harder to go to FSU or Miami when I was picking out a college as a senior. And those regrets are often sports-related.

6) Whenever my ISU partisan friends and family point out that the Iowa fanbase is full of idiotic, overreactionary, immature manbabies, I can’t disagree with them. Some of them are even commenters here. Not many. Also don’t try to figure out who. In fact, you’re my favorite commenter here. Yes, you! You’re the bee’s knees.

7) I don’t miss Iowa City, just the people who lived there when I did.

8) I think Kirk Ferentz does some plum-fucking-stupid things sometimes, but since he doesn’t act like a caricature, it’s not okay to call him plum-fucking-stupid.

9) Everything about Herky is terrible. Everything about Herky is terrible. Everything about Herky is terrible.

10) Whoever chooses the songs for the HMB is terrible.

11) I defaced my Hawks Nest t-shirt in 2002 for the home finale, and I don’t regret it.

But I didn’t boo Kyle McCann.

1. I don’t really hate Minnesota and really think the season ending rivalry should be with Penn State.
2. Herky sucks in about every way possible and is at least 50 years out of date.
3. My little brother is going to ISU in the fall and I don’t give him nearly enough hell.
4. I’ve never drank Hawkeye Vodka.
5. I used to wear a Florida shirt under my high school football pads
6. I’ve lived 45 minutes from Iowa City for the last two years and haven’t made it to a game at Kinnick in that time span.
7. I don’t want to see the Big 10 expand

my distaste for all things mussburger has waned over the past two seasons, and now prefer him over most others for calling games

I frequency heckled ramon ochoa during warm-ups

the net was only half-way up when Kaeding finally snapped his longest field goal streak, i’m partially to blame for that

i’m currently wearing a badgers T-shirt

I never put cover sheets on my TPS reports

i hate it when the band doesn’t play hey jude after the 3rd quarter, but also hate it when they speed it up and you can’t make out the melody

i hate that the band and the student section aren’t across from each other anymore, its impossible to make out what they’re playing when you’re behind them

stuffing the student section in the end zone (while a necessary evil) blows

holding up your shoe during kick-offs is dumb, and having a bare foot on those bleachers is disgusting

and do me a favor, don’t text me its gay

- I think Michigan’s fight song is one of the best in the country
- The “dotting of the I” is pretty damn cool
- I have never tried Hawkeye Vodka and am planning on continuing that streak.
- Whiteouts at Beaver Stadium are pretty cool to see in person
- Iowa needs to learn to tailgate better
- I had a Duke Basketball Hat for a really long time
- I have been to more wrestling duals than football games
- as a fan base we can be pretty dick like at times and completely forget reason, but hey how’s that difference than anyone else?
- I cheer pretty hard for tOSU in their BCS games but take some sort of smug pleasure when they loose. I hate myself for both things.
- I have a really hard time watching games where we are playing like complete shit, be it any sport.

…after reading this much locker room fodder (for rival blogs of course- – does OBNUG and FTRS have locker rooms[?] )…

…well, let’s just say, I hate you all.

I’ve been to maybe a dozen football games and and 5 or 6 basketball games but never had to buy a ticket. When I worked for Cambus we would run the charters and the drivers got free tickets. You usually saw about 2/3’rds of the game. So that got me into some and the rest, well there were always extra tickets and I used to get stoned with the guy who was in charge of handing out the tickets so he’d give me an extra if I asked for it.

The best times I ever had in CHA were concerts by Nine Inch Nails and Metallica. The basketball games weren’t even close.

I thought they made the right move with Dr. Tom.

The fans in Kinnick can be really lame far too often

Hayden stayed a year too long and I was glad to see him go.

enter through the exit doors

After the first block field at last years UNI game I went to drink more beer. I didn’t know what happened until about 1 hour had passed.

Back in 1990 something my friend and I threw a whiskey bottle on the field and got booed by 70,000 plus fans.

Because while Iowa can be deficient in certain things at times, based on my observations and those from friends who’ve been elsewhere, Iowa’s easily in the top 3-4 in the Big Ten in stadium atmosphere and tailgating. And a roommate who went to school at Cal and Texas and has seen plenty of Pac 10 and some Big 12 locales raves about Kinnick/Iowa City more than any others.

1. I really liked Dedric Willoughby.

2. I can’t actually remember if I’ve ever had Hawkeye vodka, but that statement in itself lends me to believe I have.

3. I turned down a chance to see Tate/Holloway live, and firmly believe if I had been there it wouldn’t have happened.

4. Though we had USC in the bag after the kick-off return.

5. Drew ISU as my NCAA dynasty team in my dorm’s league back in college, Lane Danielson wasn’t really that bad.

6. Was at Nebraska/Kansas in Lincoln and missed all but the last 2 minutes of the Iowa/PSU epic.

1. As a young North Carolinian, I had no college interest in the state of Iowa. After moving to Iowa, I was sure I’d end up at ISU.
2. I still attempt to get into Kinnick Stadium with a 7 year old student ID.
3. I know very little about the pre-2002 Hawkeyes.
4. I have not yet convinced the fiancee that our first born son’s middle name should be Chuck (since the last name’s Long)
5. I stole an idea from an old friend and now celebrate “Black and Gold Friday” every week.
6. I’ve only ever seen the Hawkeyes play in Kinnick Staidum and Soldier Field.

I hate Iowa State more than anything. If it’s Iowa State vs. Cancer, go cancer. I did once go to an Iowa State-Colorado game while in high school – sat in the student section and watched the Clowns almost beat Rashaan Salaam and the Buffs. The most enjoyable part was hearing how much the fans hated poor Bob Utter. I cheer for Iowa State to go 0-12 every year.

I live just outside Madison and love the town, but hate the Badgers and their fans. And especially Bo Ryan. Seriously, just once in a while, close your mouth.

I hate Minnesota almost as much as Iowa State. Almost.

I hate Ohio State and that school in Evanston.

I cheer for Big Ten teams in all non-conference and bowl games.

If you think Iowa City tailgating is sub-par, you’re doing it wrong. I bring a 30-pack of Hamm’s to every tailgate. If you greet me with “From the Land of the Sky Blue Waters”, you win a free one.

If I ever wear a sweater vest, I’ll have to kick my own ass.

The only college basketball game I attended last year was OU vs. Baylor.

I want to fight anyone who does not hate Steve Alford.

Of course, I don’t fight because I would lose to any person and most inanimate objects.

I firmly believe that Ken O’Keefe gets a bad rap.

• I missed the end of the ’86 Iowa-Michigan game because I had to serve as an altar boy for the Sat. night mass. There were 4 people in attendance (I assume all ISU supporters). Papa Pubes dropped me off and said “see you in an hour.” I will never, EVER forgive you for this Dad. That said, the code to my garage is “12-10”.

• I am sometimes embarrased that we get so wrapped up in the games played by 18-22 year olds. Then I have another beer, and the pain goes away.

• I want the Big Ten to stay as it is. I don’t like the idea of Nebraska or Missouri joining our party (Nebraska especially).

• My wife went to Iowa State.

• Kinnick has lost some it’s luster since the renovations and relocation of students. Said before, but there is very little original or charismatic about the stadium atmosphere.

• The I-O-W-A chant wears on me after the first two times around the stadium.

• I used to think band members were the coolest. Then I went to college (my apologies to any current/former band members).

• I thought the football team was vastly overrated last year and likewise for this year. Luck only goes so far. I would also be banished by my family if they heard me say this.

I like the BIG T1E1N just as it is. If we are to expand, just add one team. Not three or five! I would be okay with Nebraska, Texas, or those over privileged fucks in South Bend-over and take it like a bitch!

1. I have only been a Hawkeye fan for the last 7 years, since I moved up here from Texas.

2. I was born in Ohio, so I was a fan of tOSU growing up (I still can’t hate them)

3. I only went to 6 or 7 games during my 5 years as a grad student (but I tailgated all of the rest and watched all away games on TV and I have had season tickets the last 2 years plus this upcoming season.)

4. The tOSU dual meet was the only wrestling meet I ever attended (we don’t have wrestling in Texas)(I will definitely go to more in the future, though)

5. I have never, nor will I ever try Hawkeye vodka.

6. Tonight is NOT gonna be a good night if I have to hear that damn song again!

7. I don’t think Herky is any more lame than almost any other mascots. Seriously, ALL mascots suck ass and should be banned, except for maybe the real life animals, like Bevo. (I even think GT’s car is awesome)

8. I dread tailgating, until I get there and have the best time, then I hate the rest of the day after I crash.
 
9. I think Madison might be a good enough town, but I still can’t get over the lack of class that allows the fans to think “shoot ’em like a horse” is a good chant.

1. I applied to and was accepted by UofI, even being put in the honors program without applying for it, but never seriously considered attending.

2. My dream when I was a kid was to attend undergrad in Chicago, grad school in Iowa City and get involved with the football team as a grad assistant, and work my way into coaching from there. I only got the first one done.

3. I have only attended one game at Kinnick, 1993 vs Minnesota. My dad abandoned me in the stands so he could listen to the Notre Dame-BC game (ND was #1 after beating FSU week before. BC won on last second FG).

4. I haven’t watched a Hawk basketball game in years.

5. I was at a restaurant with a bunch of ISU fans during the 02 game. I left at half time to lose my virginity. When I checked the score later and saw Iowa lost, I didn’t care.

6. I have found myself ok with Iowa losses when they’ve come to nationally ranked Big XI opponents by consoling myself with the idea it was for the glory of the conference.

7. I was disappointed that the Hawks played Nebraska when they did because the team was so bad at the time. Now, I desperately want NU to be included in expansion because I consider the programs on equal footing and it would be the first Iowa rivalry I would really care about.

1. I grew up in Garden Grove, CA. My dad played baseball at USC, so naturally I didn’t follow Iowa sports until we moved to Newton in 1998 when I was 15. Since then, though, Iowa football has become an obsession of mine.

2. My first game in Kinnick was in 2000 when Iowa upset jNW. Since then I haven’t been to an Iowa/jNW football game.

3. I also hate the intro music/video of Enter Sandman at Kinnick.

4. I get sick of ‘On Iowa’ really quickly. In order to make it more entertaining, I always sing the words from “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt” instead.

5. I don’t like the hawk/gator chomp.

6. I was the only person who never got laid in a Burge Hall dorm room. I recall Daum and Stanley Hall, but not Burge.

7. I think naming your kids’ first names “Nile” or “Hayden” is very tacky.

8. I live in Chicago and, frankly, 100% apathetic towards the Illini. I soon found out that Chicago is too.

9. I couldn’t care less about Iowa wrestling.

10. I like OSU and Michigan’s fight songs better than Iowa’s, but Iowa’s is better than USC’s.

We have won every other game that I have seen, and been on time for.

It’s my fault guys. Sorry.

- I can’t stand it when the students rush the field/court after beating a team that is ranked #25 or is currently 5th in the conference – and I hate it even more knowing that I used to do it.

- I truly despise anything and everything about the following teams in the Big XI: Minnesota, Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio State, Indiana, jNWU, and Illinois. I am neutral on Purdue and Penn State. I actually kind of like Wisconsin.

- I still will root for those teams during bowl games, especially against the ESS EEE CEE.

- I have had Hawkeye vodka on several occasions, and it is probably the only thing that says “Hawkeye” that I don’t like.

- I went to the Iowa/Wisconsin game at Camp Randall in 2005 (Alvarez’s last game) and afterwards proceeded to play beer pong with my friend and his roommates on their beautifully painted Wisconsin beer pong table. After winning 5 games in a row (because Hawkeyes are better drinkers) I got to sign the table with a Sharpie. I proceeded to write “20-10 Fuck You We’re Iowa” right on the “W.” I do not regret that decision.

….have been alive.

1. I rooted against the Hawks in a season ending FB game in a season when I was pissed off at their play and thought they didn’t deserve a bowl game. This was, IIRC, in 1994. Only time I was ever glad they lost.

2. If I didn’t have a degree from Iowa in the B10, I would probably want to be a Michigan grad. Or Wisconsin. Michigan is a great academic school, and Wisky is a lot of fun. Both exceed Iowa in those areas.

3. Herky sucks. The reason he sucks is that he TRIES not to suck. Give it up, Herk! Accept your limitations and you’ll be okay. Stop surfing, stop the stupid “In the House” intro. God you’re lame.

4. I am tired of the pre-game Kinnick speech. There, I said it. Save it for the last game or something—to do it every game demeans it. People have stopped paying attention.

5. KF should never participate in a BTN network promo again. EVER. He was awful, like the anti-HockeyBear would be.

6. I have watched only one complete Iowa B-ball game in about the past five years, and even then it was when I had been invited to something where it could not be avoided.

7. If “The Wave” were a small furry animal I would gladly kill and eat it raw.

8. Big Ass Turkey legs are not that good. Gyros are great. Drinking beer before noon is way overrated. Musical Iowa pens, car horns, and so on are an abomination.

1. A good chunk of Iowa fans really get on my nerves, especially TavernHawks who I often want to punch in the face.

2. I think our students could be better fans and not just drink their asses off in the parking lot, leaving the student section 2/3 full on national television.

3. I got a handjob in the stands during a game in 2007 (OOC, can’t remember who) and I nutted inside my black and gold overalls.

4. Me and two buddies smoked a joint in Kinnick right before the 2006 Iowa-tOSU night game and freaked the fuck out when they did the fly-by.

5. I really like tOSU’s traditions like dotting the i and “Hang on Sloopy” but can’t stand the university.

1. I hate Michigan. I went to the game there in 2006 expecting the worst. And was treated kindly and graciously by nearly everyone. Which made it hard to hate them.
2. I actually don’t mind Ohio State that much. But let’s not get confused, holy God to I want to beat the living hell out of them.
3. I am embarassed by our fans sometimes. If you are in a bar, or at your house watching the game and want to yell “Fuck” at the top of your lungs, good for you. When you do it inside the stadium where a guy has his kids with him 5 feet away, you’re the asshole.
4. I will cheer for any team, in conference or out if it means helping the Hawks. (Conference standings, bowl selections, etc.) Yes, even Michigan.
5. While I’m right there to rag about KOK’s dipshit play calling sometimes, the ultimate responsibility falls at KF’s feet (Northwestern 2008)
6. I will schedule my entire life around Iowa football.
7. I will schedule most of my entire life around reading BHGP.
8. I never get tired of the old “Cornshoe Hammaker Cannon BOOM” gag.

1. I try to cheer for Iowa State, but find their misery way too amusing and satisfying to continue it for the whole game.

2. My first game in Kinnick Stadium was against Purdue when Iowa clinched going to the Rose Bowl the last time (90, 91?). Herky threw roses on the field at the end of the third quarter. I still think about that game every time I enter the building.

3. My uncle convinced me that, between the time that Zabel quit doing the games on the radio and the end of the Fry era, the reason we lost so many games was because Zabel wasn’t there to tell everyone to their radios and give them a big hug and kiss during tense moments.

4. The only time I ran on the field after an Iowa game was 2002 Purdue (and that was because my, at the time, 11 year-old brother, Pain in the Sash, wanted to). I have despised every other field storming that I did not participate in. Except 2008 PSU. I didn’t participate in that one because A) I had to leave to go to Moline for Metallica, and B) it was damn cool to watch from the stands.

5. Iowa football is damned near my favorite thing on Earth. As such, I don’t want any of the traditions (even the ones I could do without) to change because I think not following those traditions is sacrilege.

6. Shortly before Drew Tate found Warren Holloway wide open, I punched my Lazy Boy recliner hard enough to knock it over. Then my friend jumped up in my sight line to the TV. I threw him into or near a wall. The confession in all of this is that my 14 year old sister is a far more violent Iowa fan than I am.

1. I almost left the Capital One Bowl with 0:46 left after the LSU touchdown so we could avoid the douchebag LSU fan who had parked next to us. He must have had the same idea at the end of the game, as he was nowhere to be found when we returned to the car.

2. I stepped foot onto the field with 0:01 left when we beat Penn State in the swarm of students. I saw that there was 0:01 left; however, I feared I would be trampled, so I continued with the crowd.

3. I too have imbibed in Hawkeye Vodka, granted, it was as a freshmen in 2004. The stuff caused me to puke every ounce of liquid and solid out of my stomach after we did about 5 shots of it to “warm up” for the house party we were going to that night. I didn’t learn my lesson, as I have consumed it following that episode, but never in such mass quantity.

4. I have also booed a Hawkeye football player. It was Ronnie Harmon during Homecoming 2007, and it is completely justified in my opinion. The students (clearly from Illiniois) who were sitting in front of me tried to lecture me on this decision. After I informed them of his backstabbing not being an American almost getting Iowa sanctioned by the NCAA throwing the game in the 1986 Rose Bowl, they quickly realized that they knew nothing of Iowa Football History. I may have taken it too far when I told them to get out of Kinnick, and never step foot in it again throughout the rest of the game, but they pissed me off.

5. I never paid to go to a Basketball game while I was in school. I only attended games where I got free tickets, where the University opened the gates due to huge amounts of snow, or where the University “bribed” the students to come in order to look good on ESPN.

6. I did pay for a ticket to the Iowa vs. Iowa State Wrestling Meet in 2008, and would have paid for other tickets as a student. I’m not sure if this is a sin, but it didn’t feel right as a student who could’ve gotten a free ticket if I had planned ahead and put my name on the list for that meet.

7. I almost skipped the Orange Bowl this year because I only had one day of time off at my new job after visiting my family at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Instead, I opted to take a 36 hour trip to Miami, and only miss one day of work. I showed up on Tuesday morning in Chicago with one of the worst hangovers I have ever had, but it was worth it.

8. My biggest sin was accepting my admission to USC in 2003, only to later decide that I would rather be a Hawkeye. I lost $500 in the process of applying to go to school there, and to put a deposit on a dorm room. I never set foot on that campus after that though.

I stopped caring about Iowa basketball

I. I hate ISU with the white hot intensity of a thousand burning suns. Losing to them is not okay. Not ever.
2. I am very concerned that if the BT adds teams from the East that the teams in the West, i.e. Iowa, will be overlooked due to East Coast bias in the media.
3. I have always had a soft spot for MSU.
4. I think we are all a little cocky about our record against PSU. That could very easily bite us in the ass this year.
5. I am not a fan of the TigerHawk. I think that with the block Iowa make for really ugly t-shirts.
6. I take it as a personal attack when I see someone with tOSU attire or decorations on their car in the KC metro area.
7. I have been a Hawkeye fan since I was about six years old. I even had my own set season tix for football when I was in high school, paid for with my own money.
8. I rooted against Iowa during the Dr. Tom era at Drake when we played them.
9. I like Herky. Granted I liked him better when it was only DTDs that could wear the suit.
10. The only reason to drink Hawkeye Vodka is because you are a freshman and you don’t know any better.

1. I had never been in the state of Iowa before I toured the UI campus. My 2nd time on campus was for orientation.
2. I grew up in Minnesota (FIGHT WIN TRY GOPHER), but rooted for the Badgers growing up, mostly due to my hate bred from my dad going to the University of North Dakota Fighting Sioux Flickertails.
3. I’m dating a Golden Gopher.
4. I almost went to Purdue and briefly considered going to jNWU.
5. I hadn’t watched a game of Iowa football before coming to the University of Iowa (@Soldier Field against Directional Illinois in 2007)
6. I’m a member of the Hawkeye Marching Band. And get asked by everyone around me who the hell just made that catch/tackle/interception/pass/punt return/kick/fumble/execution. I fully recognize that a good majority of the people are tools.
7. Per #6, I wish the band didn’t have such a bad rap, but we aren’t led by the brightest people in the world (On Iowa after a Stanziball? why the hell not?) In a similar vein, I wish our halftime shows were more exciting and our presence on gameday was better felt.
8. I didn’t feel bad when Shada was boo’ed as he limped to midfield on crutches on Senior day.
9. I was surprised there were no boos last year for Trey Stross on Senior day after his performance @tOSU
10. I wish I could rush the field, and want to bludgeon people to death when they rush the field against ISU and Minnesota and for games where we out-rank the opposition or the opposition isn’t a Top 10 ranked foe.

At one time I was an Illinois fan. My saving grace is that I actually did have the ability to choose between those schools.

Iowa is the only school I applied to. My sister was going there and said it was fun, and that was good enough to me. I have never, ever regretted that decision. It did however lead to my biggest regret, which was not applying myself getting my degree from there.

I like to wear it, particularly to root against kansas, nebraska or (insert) texas school.

1. One week after we lost to Pitt in 2008, I went out on a date with a Pitt grad

2. (I live in the South) An Iowa State fan once approached me because she saw me wearing a Hawkeye t-shirt (she was wearing an Iowa State shirt), and I told her that I refuse to talk to Cyclone fans and walked off. I was mad the whole rest of the day because seeing a Cyclone fan in the South ruined it.

3. I agree… the burrito lift is HORRIBLE

4. I missed the 2008 Penn State game because I was at a Florida State home game

5. Speaking of which, I love the Hawkeyes with all my heart and soul… and I also really like Penn State.

6. I don’t want the Big Ten to expand, I don’t want a playoff, and I want college football to ditch the BCS and go back to the old bowl system

7. I’ve never been to a wrestling meet Iowa has won… 0-3 all time

8. I threw my TV remote against the wall of my dorm room and broke it when Carson Palmer won the Heisman over Brad Banks

9. Sometimes I regret not having applied to Cornell (in New York, not Iowa)… or Northwestern

I attended more games in Iowa City which is roughly 420 miles away from Brookings than I did South Dakota State home games this year. And I am in no way ashamed of that fact.

My father procured two tickets for us to go to the Iowa – Northern Illinois game in Soldier Field in 2007. The Hawks, Chicago, Soldier Field, opening game, this couldn’t be more awesome. But I passed because I had plans to drive up from Decorah to Northfield, MN with a bunch of Luther friends for the Luther vs. St. Olaf “rivalry” game and be all rowdy and whatnot. Only two friends decided to go. We lost the game. And I could have partied with my dad and thousands of Iowa fans in Soldier Field while enjoying a MACrifice under clear blue skies and 75 degrees.

I have not forgiven myself, nor will I ever, nor should I ever.

1. I’ve never been to an Iowa sporting event of any kind yet I’ve been a Hawkeye fan for as long as I can remember. Was born in Sioux City, and lived in NW Iowa until I was 7 when we up-rooted to NWMO. A few years ago I felt a surge of pride when my mother found an OLD photo of me (as a baby) in an Iowa hoody circa 1982.

2. My g/f (and soon to be fiance’) is from W. Lafayette. After three years she has converted to Hawkeye-ism. Today I caught her looking at tickets for the tOSU game. I love her.

3. I had never heard of Hawkeye Vodka until joining this site last year.

4. After the ’08 Iowa/PSU game, I was crying. I had watched it with two other people; a guy who could care less, and a Buckeye fan who was one of my best friends. To make me feel better, Rob (the tOSU guy) said, “Those tears can only come from the eyes of a muthafuckin sports fan!!” easily one of the top 10 moments of my life.

5. I’ve either never been to, or can’t remember being to IC.

6. For about a year I thought Scothawk was making videos just for me.

7. I didn’t even flinch when Stanzi threw the Rick 6 on his first pass at Homecoming last year.

8. I root for the Buckeyes. Mainly because of Rob, who is an tOSU version of myself. Also, I hope TP finds his groove and becomes an amazing QB.

9. I can remember feeling bad for Timmy Brewster last year after one of their games. I was thinking “It has got to be hard getting kids to come there.”

10. While on Deployment in 2007, I wore a Hawkeye t-shirt underneath my uniform on Saturdays.

And finally, I need some advice/opinions. Should I let go of the fact that I feel fraud-ish having never been to a game?

1. A lot of debate about the entrance. My two cents is that the only constant is the swarm (for the last 30-ish years anyway). Everything else evolves over time and so, in my opinion, is not really a tradition. I’m indifferent about the rest. Sure, it’s exciting, but I’m just happy to be at a game. They could come out to this and I’d still get amped up somehow. However when the PA plays Enter Sandman and the Band does On Iowa simultaneously, it makes my ears cry.

2. I’m not normally superstitious at all but Hawkeye Football brings out the worst in me. I have “In Heaven There Is No Beer” on my iPod, but if it comes up on Shuffle any time other than after a win, I have to skip it within 2 seconds or we will surely lose whatever I watch next. Also, I usually match the Blackout/Gold Rush color, even if I’m watching the game at home (if we are losing, I’ll change at halftime however).

3. When I cooked hot dogs for my dad in the SW concessions in the early/mid 90s, I served a hot dog cooked to 40 degrees Fahrenheit internally. The customer said he didn’t care, he didn’t want to wait for one to cook. If you’re reading this, I hope you didn’t get a tapeworm, but if you did, it’s your own fault. Also, I “accidentally” dropped pretzels and hot dogs once or twice so they’d go into the books as spoilage and then into my mouth as free food. 5 second rule in this bitch!

4. Not really a confession per se, but I may be the king lurker around here. I started reading around the Lick hire and the football Troubles, because this board was a voice of reason compared to the others. Since then I have a dozen or so posts, about a third of which were lame attempts on the FranShop thread. Because I couldn’t not participate in that one.

1. My favorite football game that I attended was N.D. at Tennessee. It was awesome. And I’ve been to 3 of Iowa’s bowl games. #2.) I hate standing up for the fight song. #3.) I too love Madison, Wi. (My little sister works up there so I make it there about 5 times a year.) #4.) I went to Veisha in Ames 4 years in a row and had relations with cyclown women. It was fun and they let me touch there boobies, and they’re not the devil.