[The answers will come soon enough, but in the meantime, speculation station. Consequently, bumped. -- HS]
Well, the dust has settled and we have all had a few days to reflect back on one of our country's truly great annual events. At this point there is not much left to say that hasn't already been said about one of the most incredible tournaments in recent memory. Very few "sure things" made it though the bedlam unscathed, and those elite who did progress showed discernible wear at the finish line. This tournament truly did have it all; heroes and villains (some expected, others less so), dramatic finishes, gritty performances and more than a few questionable calls. Even the selection show had a Theater of the Absurd quality about it. When the dust settled, however, the winner(s) was unquestionably deserving. So without further ado, congratulations to the 2009-10 Champions, Brent Metcalf, TMFS, J.Leman and Ricky Stanzi! You will live on in our hearts forever. (You couldn't have possibly thought this was about basketball, could you?)
As hilariously raucous as this year's Marchifornication proved to be, there were many unanswered questions left for readers of BHGP. How did the final showdown between Team Americanzi and The JoViet Union go down? Did both sides incur casualties? How was the unstoppable force of nature, HOCKEYBEAR, neutralized? Was the final called by Nance & Kellogg or a dream-team of Gus Johnson and Bill Raftery? What of the other unanswered questions? Did Pakistanzi/Claybo'Meara actually die from his gunshot wound, or slither away to poison the well another day? Did the real AC and Ace escape from underneath Beaver Stadium (haha! I just wrote "escape from underneath Beaver...")? Did Obama pick chalk? Is Franshoe just getting started? Most importantly, though, as noted by chitownhawkeye; What became of "The Puppet Master" AKA Kirk Ferentz? Was it really even Kirk Ferentz, or something far more sinister? I have a theory:
I must admit that I'm predisposed to mistrusting Masons...
Which brings me to this: a la choose your own adventure books (you know, the ones where you would read only to die regardless of which choice you made), I want to hear people's Marchifornication theories/subplots/postscripts. After all, what the Hell are we supposed to do until football season?