Duke Wins; Now All Hell Is Breaking Loose
by Adam Jacobi on Apr 6, 2010 12:00 PM CDT
in Iowa Hawkeyes News
Email
PrintStories number 1, 2, 3, and basically 4 through 600 are about that Duke-Butler game last night. And hey, why not? Awesome game, good almost beat Evil. That close.
But Evil prevailed, and when Evil prevails, the world. fucking. ends. So that's why we weren't even surprised to see this in our local Weather Underground page today.
115 degrees below zero! Now, you're probably thinking, "Wait a second. Hell is full of fire and sulfur and capsaicin enemas. Why is the wind chill positively Antarctic? Well, that's simple. Because Krzyzewski--who is Satan--is probably going to have to blow a giant hole in the earth to open up a big enough portal to the depths of hell. That hole just so happens to be in Southern Iowa, as fate would have it. And this quiet town is going to be blasted up into space, where it is very, very cold, and the wind unrelenting.
Alas, alas, alas. It was a good run, world.
64 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
The world should go kill itself if it allows Duke to win national titles.
JMO.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
Ahhhh.
Black Shoe Diaries
Success With Honor
by Jeff Junstrom on Apr 6, 2010 1:10 PM CDT up reply actions
Shouldn't you, like, be giving money to Corey Maggette?
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 6, 2010 1:38 PM CDT up reply actions
Not that I know of.
And I’m having trouble hearing you with my four national titles in twenty years clanking together. I really should take better care of them.
Black Shoe Diaries
Success With Honor
by Jeff Junstrom on Apr 6, 2010 3:28 PM CDT up reply actions
I thought only Ohio State fans pretended to have won titles themselves.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Apr 6, 2010 9:41 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
No.
Steelers fans do this routinely.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 6, 2010 10:28 PM CDT up reply actions
I'll be damned if anyone is going to compare me to an OSU fan.
Are duels still an acceptable means of argument resolution? Or would you prefer some ADR?
Black Shoe Diaries
Success With Honor
by Jeff Junstrom on Apr 7, 2010 8:07 AM CDT up reply actions
Duels are still acceptable...
…unless you want to serve in any official capacity in the state of Kentucky (part of the oath says “I have never participated in a duel” or something to that effect).
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 7, 2010 8:21 AM CDT up reply actions
Duels are still acceptable...
accept for the manslaughter charge you might get booked with afterwards. Challanging, accepting, and participating may not be illegal, but you’re still liable for the results in (I’m assuming) all states.
Keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either, Dude.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Apr 7, 2010 11:12 AM CDT up reply actions
You're angry.
This makes OPS right.
I was gonna stick with “Duke = Michigan”, but this is even better.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 7, 2010 8:27 AM CDT up reply actions
If the duel thing does'nt work out,
Possibly a “Dance Off” should be in order. I’m thinking a 1980’s breakdance theme.
Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian
The only thing weirder than that forecast
is that upon looking up Warren, IA on Google Maps (sorry, I don’t know South Central Iowa [are there Bloods & Crips?] as well as I should), I noticed that Terre Haute, IA and Terre Haute, MO are less than 50 miles apart. I didn’t even know those places existed.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
The altitude of those towns
is dwarfed by the treacherous terrain of Terre Haute, IN; Larry Bird minored in mountain climbing.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 6, 2010 4:33 PM CDT up reply actions
Apparently, you've never belonged to Columbia House Music Club.
In the past 10 years, just four team owners have not paid a luxury tax and are not on pace to pay one this year: Donald Sterling, Jerry Reinsdorf, Chris Cohen (Golden State), Bob Johnson (Charlotte).
Two owners’ teams averaged an operating income of over +$10 million per year while their teams have lost over 60% of their games: Donald Sterling and Jerry Reinsdorf.
Nor have I had rectal warts.
Thanks for reminding me about all the positive things in my life.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 7, 2010 10:16 AM CDT up reply actions
But you did have genital warts, eh?
That’s a tough break.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Well, more of a tough tear
but I appreciate your concern.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 7, 2010 11:08 AM CDT up reply actions
As they say
If you don’t like the weather in Iowa wait 15 minutes, It will change. Fucking Dook.
Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian
I struggle
with why people have such a major problem with Duke. I respect Coach K. and his program’s sustained excellence.
"I will go to Germany and then play in a couple of AAU Tournaments like Peach Jam and Boo Williams." - Junior Lomomba
by Ornery Woody on Apr 6, 2010 12:35 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AwYVTB2rZw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTDnaBOOR-A
Brunettes not fighter jets
Duke is like Penn State's smarter and better looking brother
If you feel like singing along, don't.
James Taylor
You're really dumb.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 6, 2010 1:37 PM CDT up reply actions
Duke is clearly Northwestern's more popular, not quite as smart cousin.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 6, 2010 1:39 PM CDT up reply actions
Caltech is undefeated in football since 1993.
So all of us suck in comparison.
My blog: http://www.gretainthebox.com
by Leftcoast Hawk on Apr 6, 2010 1:46 PM CDT up reply actions
If that is true then that would make Michigan
the incestuous “special” offspring of Duke and Northwestern. Then that means that Penn State is not related to either but is, in fact, the little brother of Pitt!
If you feel like singing along, don't.
James Taylor
Little brother to Pitt perhaps, but much more sexy.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 7, 2010 11:26 AM CDT up reply actions
Isn't being sexier than Pitt kind of like being the tallest member of the Lollipop Guild?
If you feel like singing along, don't.
James Taylor
They even make their coach ill:
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 6, 2010 1:08 PM CDT up reply actions
Also, this:
http://www.blackheartgoldpants.com/2010/4/6/1407830/duke-wins-now-all-hell-is-breaking#33949913
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 6, 2010 3:47 PM CDT up reply actions
It's like saying
you also respect the sweatervest and his program’s sustained excellence.
It’s not them. It’s the fans. The arrogant, smug, self absorbed, self righteous fans.
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Apr 6, 2010 4:16 PM CDT up reply actions
But Coach K wouldn’t talk to a “gay magazine” because it might offend some people and ruin his sponsorships!
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
by ReadingRambler on Apr 6, 2010 8:57 PM CDT up reply actions
I respect
the sustained excellence of the Ohio State football program as Duke basketball. As a sports fan, I find it silly to latch onto isolated incidents of heat-of-the-battle displays of unsportsmanlike behavior (the 2009 NCAA wrestling finals, anyone?) or broadbrush characterizations of a team’s fanbase as reason to dismiss or dislike a program that has great success on a consistent basis.
Now do I want to see Hawkeye Monster Dragon fly into Kinnick next year and throatpunch OSU in their collective throat? Damned Baby Jeebus straight, you bet I do. Beat the best to be the best, and seeing the OSU colors in the Rose Bowl this year made me want to jump in front of a train knowing that the black and gold could have easily been there instead. However, I’ll tip my hat to OSU football (and Duke basketball) as long as they maintain its incredible standard of performance.
"I will go to Germany and then play in a couple of AAU Tournaments like Peach Jam and Boo Williams." - Junior Lomomba
by Ornery Woody on Apr 7, 2010 11:55 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
Hawkeye Monster Dragon
Nicely done, sir!
Master of the convoluted IOWA cheers!
by EnergizerHawk on Apr 7, 2010 11:59 AM CDT up reply actions
Someday
I will reveal the legend of Hawkeye Monster Dragon and my plans to construct a thirty-feet image in his likeness that I will trailer to Hawkeye tailgate parties.
Men will fear him. Women will desire him. Opponents will weep at the very thought of him and be consumed by his toxic fireballs and shred unto death by his merciless claws of truth and justice.
That’s right, World.
Hawkeye Motherfucking Monster Dragon.
More to come.
"I will go to Germany and then play in a couple of AAU Tournaments like Peach Jam and Boo Williams." - Junior Lomomba
by Ornery Woody on Apr 7, 2010 12:12 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
I tip my hat to John Calipari and his incredible standard of performance.
/apples to oranges’d
"You people bring matches for Mikey?"
by ReadingRambler on Apr 7, 2010 12:34 PM CDT up reply actions
I bet if Iowa could get a coach who could implement the Butler system....
Carver would be rockin again in no time. Who am I kidding, we could never get a guy like that. We are cursed as just a football school.
If you feel like singing along, don't.
James Taylor
I'm assuming you miss typed
Cause have you heard of our wrestling team? They don’t suck.
Adrian Clayborn is strong enough to pull the ears off a Gundar
by The Bacon Explosion on Apr 6, 2010 1:12 PM CDT up reply actions
Wrestling don't bring in the bacon....
Hence the “football” school label.
Iowa wrestling is fucking amazing though.
Hawks....yup, I like 'em
I only know what I heard from a certain coach who shall forever remain nameless but
if the style and grooming of one’s hair is any indicator of intellectual prowess this nameless coach is a freakin genius and he said in one long run-on sentence with no punctuation that Iowa is a football school. Case closed. I say good day to you sir.
If you feel like singing along, don't.
James Taylor
ps - bacon on a stick is like a meatsickle from heaven and the Iowa wrestling team is the antisuck.
If you feel like singing along, don't.
James Taylor
Its Global Warming!
And the Trilateral Commissions fault.
My blog: http://www.gretainthebox.com
by Leftcoast Hawk on Apr 6, 2010 2:02 PM CDT up reply actions
Trilateral Commission is only an American thing...
…like Bohemian Grove. If you’re talking “Global” Warming you need to point the finger at the Bilderberg Group.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 7, 2010 8:28 AM CDT up reply actions
In my law school class (Wash U):
Out of 210 people, close to 20 of them were from Duke undergrad. This was in ‘92-’95 and I got so sick of Duke basketball, I almost vomit at the sight of Coach Ksjfhafhahekfjkski. In fact, I just threw up a little in my mouth typing this.
Life is hard. It's really hard if you're stupid.
Warren, Ia?
Is that Warren County? I-town represent!
"You're going to go out there with a dick full of confidence. Then, you're going to go out there and shoot that confidence all over the stadium." -Blue Mountain State
I-Town in the house
Yeah my google map for Warren, IA came up with some non-existant place south of Warren County, so we’ll just assume you mean my hometown of Indianola. It feels a lot like hell could open up there sometimes.
It's not that I'm lazy, Bob, it's that I just don't care
Haven't been to Warren
but I have been to Lineville. Pretty sparse population in the area, no doubt to allow distance from larger populations for the various mind-control experiments.
I can see the Gadsden Purchase from my back yard.
I have to go along with the...
“I don’t hate Duke” sentiment. While I was rooting for Butler, I don’t have a severe hatred for Duke. Sure, their fans are like jNW fans only with some actual success.
Yes, Duke beat Iowa like 6 out of the 7 times I remember them playing in my lifetime. And yes, Duke has shown us the door at a couple of NCAA tournaments. But I do respect Coach K (yes, even whiny, cranky, old Coach K). And they have been the standard for sustained success in NCAA basketball for about 25 years now.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
I love Duke.
I love the fact that you all hate them. Suck it, haters.
If Singler comes back Duke will actually be way better next year and will have a good chance to go back to back. They will be a Final Four team next year even if Singler doesn’t come back. The incoming recruit, Kyrie Irving, is a stud PG and will likely upgrade the offense over what Scheyer gave them this year. Seth Curry (Stephen’s little brother) is hungry to get on the court after sitting out from transferring and will be rotating in. He was the nation’s leading scorer as a freshman before he transferred into Duke and word is he was one of the best players on the floor at most practices. Nolan Smith will be a Player of the Year candidate next season. The Plumlees were held back this year as Coach K played his Senior big men primarily, but they are going to be turned loose next year and are going to dominate. They have a way higher ceiling than Zoubek and Thomas had.
You guys should just all get on board. It’s been great to be a Dukie and it rarely conflicts with being a Hawkeye fan too. I jumped on the bandwagon in 1990 when I first saw Bobby Hurley play. I still have a #11 Jersey. I visited Cameron this year for the first time and it is an amazing venue. The campus is awesome. Coach K is an icon and really is an example of what every other coach should strive to be. This is going to be another Duke dominated decade because they have the recruits lined up to reload again and again. I’m talking dynasty.
Join the dark-side or enjoy another decade of bitter jealousy. Duke is back on top and will be for a long time. Sorry to have to break it to you.
Finally, a Hawkeye fan with some common sense!
Black Shoe Diaries
Success With Honor
by Jeff Junstrom on Apr 7, 2010 1:38 PM CDT up reply actions
I think I hate you the most though.
Too sissy to watch Penn State’s crappy basketball team, huh?
"You people bring matches for Mikey?"
by ReadingRambler on Apr 7, 2010 3:13 PM CDT up reply actions
My hate for you runs deep, as well.
Black Shoe Diaries
Success With Honor
by Jeff Junstrom on Apr 7, 2010 7:07 PM CDT up reply actions
Bobby Hurley? Bobby Hurley???
Holy crap, man, you need to see a shrink.
"You people bring matches for Mikey?"
by ReadingRambler on Apr 7, 2010 3:14 PM CDT up reply actions
Duke fans really need to stop the “people hate us because they’re jealous” thing. UCLA has eleven titles. Kentucky has seven titles. Indiana and North Carolina have five. You have four.
"You people bring matches for Mikey?"
by ReadingRambler on Apr 7, 2010 8:03 PM CDT up reply actions
Cute.
I know Duke students are the ones who years ago chanted “Orphan” at a UNC player who was, well, an orphan, but are they any less obnoxious than the fans who didn’t go to Duke?
"You people bring matches for Mikey?"
by ReadingRambler on Apr 7, 2010 9:55 PM CDT up reply actions
Titles
Sure some programs have more, but ours didn’t come when the ball still had laces on it, the 3 point shot hadn’t been invented, final scores were 6-2 because there wasn’t a shot clock, the NCAA tournament consisted of 8 teams, and only one team per conference got in (meaning Duke and UNC eliminated each other while UCLA, Kentucky, etc. got in every year). Consistant greatness is much more difficult in the modern era. In the modern era, nobody has done it better than Duke.
UCLA, Kentucky, Kansas, Indiana, UNC…I respect the history of all those programs, but what Duke has done in the modern era is on another level. You really can’t just spout off the amount of titles to compare the accomplishments.
You should check out this article. http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=3501739 If you add the numbers in for the years since the article came out in 2008 and Duke is even further out in front. It’s interesting stuff.
Wow. That sounds almost identical to an argument we just had on BSD.
Except it was about college football titles. Needless to say, I agree with your basic premise and I could have used your insight.
Black Shoe Diaries
Success With Honor
by Jeff Junstrom on Apr 8, 2010 5:51 AM CDT up reply actions
Dude, no one cares.
Arguing about basketball national titles is for fans of those schools, not for a fan of a school whose best coach was Bruce Parkhill. The point is, few people hate Duke because of national titles or because of jealousy. No one went orgasmic over North Carolina having a crappy season this year. Just saying. Rather, most people hate Duke because their coach is a hypocrite, their players are annoying and bend the rules of the game, and their fans too often seem to be pompous, whiny, delusional and hypocritical.
"You people bring matches for Mikey?"
by ReadingRambler on Apr 8, 2010 8:11 AM CDT up reply actions
I think you nailed it. Except for the first point.
I have a lot of respect for Coach K and the fundamental soundness he instills in his players. Often, his teams win with defense, rebounding and good offensive fundamentals (screening, floor spacing, etc). I appreciate that, because it’s not easy to get a bunch of whiny 18 year-olds to be willing to work and learn that sort of system.
To me, Duke = tOSU. I generally respect Coach Sweatervest for many of the same reasons. But in both cases their players and fans tend to be pompous, arrogant, whiny bitches.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Apr 8, 2010 8:43 AM CDT up reply actions
I have grudging respect for K.
But there is something hypocritical about his talk about class and the sancity and ideal of the student-athlete (Aside from whining about opposing fans being so mean, while the Duke students act like any other student section), while he gets huge checks from speaking engagements and car commercials. So in that way, I guess he’s like the NCAA’s management.
"You people bring matches for Mikey?"
by ReadingRambler on Apr 8, 2010 10:23 AM CDT up reply actions
I was glad to see Duke win once upon a time (i.e. – over Kentucky in that crazy ass final eight game), but have cooled considerably. Part of it I think is traced to that crazy-ass lacrosse team non-rape when their president and campus went apeshit. Now – pretty much prefer to see them lose. Cunknnk, you can be a fan for your reasons and I have mine. They’re equally nonsensical.
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
