Keeping the Enemy Close - HFMR, NW, and the Vengeful Potato
The gentlemen at The Rivalry, Esq. invited HFMR to discuss Northwestern football. Our warning is the same as David Letterman's the first time Sam Kinison was on his show: Buckle up.
Also, note that this article is the first and only instance of the word "facefucked" on TRE's entire website. Now go read.
about 2 years ago
Adam Jacobi
11 comments
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Comments
It's getting messy over there
Comment thread quickly going the way of “Dear Northwestern Fan”
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Apr 30, 2010 1:44 PM CDT reply actions
Who knew?
Boy, it’s really too bad that they can’t handle a joke like many of our other Big XI SBN sites. The satire in that piece is truly outstanding HFMR, a tip of the cap to you sir.
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Apr 30, 2010 1:52 PM CDT up reply actions
As a Northwestern fan...
…I’m applauding, and laughing hysterically. Great work.
I came back from lunch and there were 50+ more comments.
I’ve been in gamethreads that didn’t move that fast.
But well done on the initial post, sir. I will never trust a Wendy’s baked potato again. In fact, thanks to your hard-hitting journalistic efforts, we may need to organize a MANCOTT of Wendy’s, no matter how delicious their Frosties or chicken nuggets are.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Not really surprising.
jNW fans seem to have a pretty thin skin. You would think they would realize that our hatred for them wouldn’t be nearly this strong if it weren’t for them beating us the past several years. It was a lot easier to tolerate jNW fans (and ISU fans as well) back in the 80’s when we routinely thrashed them. But then, they were even harder to find then they are now.
The I.S.U. fans I know
Are loud and proud with the hiring of Hoiberg. The way they talk, they are only 2 wins from the national title.
Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian
It's like a car accident
I know I should stop looking at it, but I just can’t.
They took the bar, the whole fucking bar!
by recoveringfratguy on Apr 30, 2010 2:13 PM CDT up reply actions
One would think
that the jNW folks would understand satire. As I have said about the Europeans after some team wins a soccer match and burns the city, “And they’re the sophisticated ones.”
A fella steps out for a two pound burrito and all hell breaks loose.
And I don't hate jNW
This whole thing comes from a manufactured ‘rivalry" dreamed up by Gary Barnett, because jNW didn’t have a rival with a consistent level of success. Ohio State and Michigan weren’t realistic, but since Iowa developed into the most consistent challenger to OSU/Michigan by the early 90s, that was his “target” and he admitted it. That he actually pulled off a league title was and is a great story.
They are, and for the past 15 years have been, the pesky little school with no real shot at consistent success in football, which occasionally beats better teams and, every now and then puts a good season together. They have overachieved, which I respect because we have done the same many times. But that doesn’t change the fact that they are on a different, and lower, athletic plateau than Iowa and, say, Wisconsin, public schools with good academics, though not “elite”, easier entrance requirements, and historically better athletics despite a light local talent pool. Sure, I get frustrated at the fact that we have lost to them far more than we should over the last five years, but that’s our problem. Their problem is that they take a decided dip below their claimed “station” when trying to talk the trash they do, belieing their true “station” by losing sight of their place in the athletic world. But for Gary Barnett, would we be talking with actual seriousness about kicking them out of the Big Ten? I don’t think it would have happened, but it would probably be a legitimate topic among the other member schools. I can’t hate something like that. From an athletic standpoint, jNW, true to its name, is below that.
A fella steps out for a two pound burrito and all hell breaks loose.
by Mr. Grizz on Apr 30, 2010 2:27 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
It's weird
I’d absolutely love Northwestern if they weren’t Iowa’s Kryptonite, but they are so fuck those guys.
"An out of context quote to support my world view." -Some Dead Guy

















