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Around SBN: Lance Berkman Could Have Torn ACL

It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It Looks at that Big Blockhead

"Look at the Size of that Head!"  Mike Mayock -- who has completely supplanted Kiper and his moronic minions as the best NFL Draft analyst on television -- missed the second half of the draft with laryngitis after his voice gave out Friday night.  We're glad to say the voice meltdown started with the drafting of Bryan Bulaga:


"Look at that big blockhead...that is the face of Iowa right there."

We are slightly concerned with Mayock's stated desire to shoot Bulaga and mount him on the wall of his den, but Bryan is probably capable of defending himself against a former defensive back.  Bulaga's moment with NFL commish Roger Goodell also leads off Kissing Suzy Kolbert's excellent LOLNFL post.

In other post-draft news, via "Big Ups" Brendan Stiles,  Dace Richardson has received a tryout with the New York Giants, and Trey Stross signed a free agent deal with the Houston Texans.  The Daily Gopher breaks down two years' worth of draft data, concluding that Iowa had the best performance in this year's draft and is near the top over the past two seasons.  And Doc Saturday includes Mitch King in its team of undrafted players from the past 20 years, which seems excessive but hey we'll take it.

Star-divide

The Short Bus.  Greg McDermott officially accepted the head coaching position at Creighton this morning.  The Iowa State coaching search is on, with alleged short lists being floated from sources near and far.  Friend of the Pants John Bohnenkamp includes many of the names floated for the Iowa job, but also makes the plausible suggestion that recently-appointed assistant Nick Nurse be made interim head coach; with the late resignation of McDermott, the hiring pool from which Inconsolable can choose his next coach will be shallow.  CrossCyed, finally returning to the interwebs in full force, also floats Nurse's name, along with Steve Forbes, Billy Gillispie, Brian Gregory, and Wisconsin assistant Greg Gard.  BHGP Consulting has been contacted by Jamie Pollard and, as we did during ISU's football search, we will provide our list of potential replacements tomorrow.

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Doc's team

is conspicuously lacking of a certain 2007 All-American Fighting Illini linebacker. Sad day for the USA.

by MongoLikeCandy on Apr 27, 2010 2:56 PM CDT reply actions  

Sad day indeed!

"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride." HST

by Dip-Shit on Apr 27, 2010 3:12 PM CDT up reply actions  

"I am in blood stepped in so far that should I wade no more, Returning were as tedious as go o’er." - Adrian Clayborn

by Smokin Herb Grigsby on Apr 27, 2010 3:50 PM CDT up reply actions  

Mayock is 100 times better than Kiper.

Seams to be better prepared and not so down on teams if they don’t go in the direction he has chosen.

Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian

by fliphawk4 on Apr 27, 2010 4:08 PM CDT reply actions  

But when Kiper and McShay disagree on something...

its a thing of beauty. They argued FERVENTLY over Dan LeFevour. It made me giggle.

by Argulor on Apr 27, 2010 4:15 PM CDT up reply actions  

Agreed.

Seen or heard somewhere that Kiper is very anal about his hair. His wife is a hair dresser and she is the only that is allowed to wash or style it. Almost makes you want to “noogie” the shit out of him.

Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian

by fliphawk4 on Apr 27, 2010 7:07 PM CDT up reply actions  

It seems like he actually goes by Rick

Personally though, I’m sticking with Ricky for a few reasons:

-The obviously Ricky Bobby comparison that his over the top love for the USA inspires
-“Ricky” has a nice gunslinger vibe to it that seems to fit
-“Dammit, Ricky” rolls off the tongue really well.

by NorseHawk on Apr 27, 2010 5:39 PM CDT reply actions  

It worked for Rick Schroeder's career.

I will still call him Ricky to his face though. Just wait til I see him.

Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian

by fliphawk4 on Apr 27, 2010 7:09 PM CDT up reply actions  

Wow

and am I seeing this right, zero coaching experience? Literally 1 day worth of searching.
I’m stunned. Well, it’ll definitely generate some buzz for next year. Long term…well, it’s a hell of an experiment.

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Apr 27, 2010 7:05 PM CDT up reply actions  

I guess that makes the mid major decision look good.

Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian

by fliphawk4 on Apr 27, 2010 7:10 PM CDT up reply actions  

The "wow, that guy's got balls" side of me is pretty impressed with Pollard's ballsiness in hiring Hoiberg...

 
…but the schadenfreude side of me has a raging hard-on for the extreme potential of oh-so-delicious epic fail this could bring (what if they have to fire his ass in 3 years or so? Fire The Mayor???! Ames would become a black hole of hilarious self-loathing and backbiting).
 
…and the bully asshole side of me wants to whip a basketball into this pud’s face as hard as I can:

 
 
So far, Schadenfreude Side is winning out.


"Enough of your borax, Poindexter! We need action!"

by Bucketochicken on Apr 27, 2010 7:28 PM CDT up reply actions  

QUESTION:

Are those headphones, or some sort of hearing protection? If it’s the latter, I guess the bright side is he doesn’t have to concern himself with eyesight or hearing loss, so…you know…that’s good.

by mattbednar on Apr 27, 2010 7:38 PM CDT up reply actions  

It's known as a sight/hearing deprevation treatment.

Part of a program trying to break people from being ‘clone fans. Similar to the ones used to get people out of dangerous cults. You can’t see them, but there are electrodes connected to his scrotum.

Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian

by fliphawk4 on Apr 27, 2010 7:54 PM CDT up reply actions  

My icon picture (at the right, over there ------>) says...

…be careful making fun of people, they may just turn out to be blind. Wouldn’t that be embarassing?

by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 28, 2010 10:42 AM CDT up reply actions  

Hahahahahaha, yes.

But, also pretty funny. What with the anonymity and all.


"Enough of your borax, Poindexter! We need action!"

by Bucketochicken on Apr 28, 2010 11:08 PM CDT up reply actions  

Seriously though

As soon as I posted that I was waiting for someone to reply with a “Hey dick! That’s my little brother!” or something. Then I’d have felt like a total asshole (as opposed to just a partial one).


"Enough of your borax, Poindexter! We need action!"

by Bucketochicken on Apr 28, 2010 11:09 PM CDT up reply actions  

IF he is blind,

Then NOTHING written here, is as bad as what that ass-hole friend of his did to him by putting on that I.S.U. hat.

Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian

by fliphawk4 on Apr 29, 2010 12:10 AM CDT up reply actions  

What do you mean, "become?"

Life is hard. It's really hard if you're stupid.

by Bluzmn on Apr 28, 2010 7:01 AM CDT up reply actions  

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