BHGP Cracks The Eyjafjallajokull Case
by Adam Jacobi on Apr 20, 2010 7:01 AM CDT
in Iowa Hawkeyes News
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PrintAs regular BHGP readers already know, the BHGP editorial staff's primary passion is volcanology. We spent the entire month of September ignoring the Hawkeyes to cover the Eichenslauss volcano in the German Alps, and we haven't regretted it since.
To that end, we've been enthralled by this Eyjafjallajokull (pronounced shoe-SHEF-ski) volcano. As NASA noted, the eruption itself isn't terribly powerful; it's that there's a glacier mucking the lava up and making it especially harmful for the engines of the planes in question.
So we were a little confused when, perusing the pictures of this eruption, we noticed something that mass media is probably too afraid to report on.
EXHIBIT A: AIRPLANE RIDES
The story is that airplanes can't fly in these conditions on account of the ash and the engine muck, right? So we saw these three airplanes flying away from the scene of the eruption--in formation, even--and we were a bit confused... until we saw the other pictures of the eruption.
EXHIBIT B: NARROWING THE GAP OF RESPONSIBILITY
Uh-oh. That looks a little familiar. Now, maybe it's just a poorly placed photograph with a misleading angle. Maybe the perspective's all off. Maybe that's not who we think it is. Maybe it's not--
EXHIBIT C: OH YES IT GODDAMN WELL IS WHO YOU THINK IT IS
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! HOCKEYBEAR, you're ruining everything! The earth will be destroyed, one hockey college town at a time! I never even got to ask Laura from Family Matters out on a date! GOD DAMN IT!
Alaska Nanooks 2010 Hockey Intro from Szymon Weglarski on Vimeo.
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Future Spock is insulted
No one ever shows his best highlight, the double vulcan nerve pinch
by Bearhawkroar! on Apr 20, 2010 8:59 AM CDT up reply actions
help on posting photos
I clicked on the tree thing…
by Bearhawkroar! on Apr 20, 2010 9:00 AM CDT up reply actions
You were using the wrong URL.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
by Adam Jacobi on Apr 20, 2010 10:16 AM CDT up reply actions
Is the combatant on the left
Lee Westwood with a white wig?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2010 10:44 AM CDT up reply actions
It's Ian Poulter.
Or someone that shops at Loudmouth Golf.
Black Shoe Diaries
Success With Honor
by Jeff Junstrom on Apr 20, 2010 10:54 AM CDT up reply actions
That site actually has
Alice Cooper in their gear. Awesome.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 20, 2010 11:07 PM CDT up reply actions
+1
"The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride." HST
Who does this bear think he is?
Does he think he can just travel around the world destroying things? Clearly he can. Because he has…
DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY.
A Voice From Kinnick - A Hawkeye Blog
and it burns, burns, burns
I’ve noticed that Michigan State and Ohio State are unscathed, but apparently Hockeybear DRAINED THE GREAT LAKES around them! Presumably so they won’t have water to douse out volcano fire.
Also, Aral Sea = Hockeybear
we've established the ringleader, now we go after the network
His other two accomplices died in the previous attack, so there must have been others this time around. Get FTRS on the line, we need charts and graphs on these aholes, STAT!
Let’s focus our attention on who stands to gain the most here:
1. Al Gore – the use of high explosive to trigger a cataclysmic volcanic event is clearly within the realm of his so called “man made global warming”, this is a clear leftist ploy to get us to eat granola and wear those hideous strappy sandals all the commies in Madison are wearing
2. Goldman Sachs – its clear now they started selling derivative backed real estate in the direct area affected by this “eruption”, this is a clear capitalist ploy designed to destroy the middle class, dissolve all unions, and sell billions of dollars worth of Lava soap they’ve stockpiled since the ‘80s
3. Objectivism – While not yet able to take physical form, its spirit has lost none of its potency (here’s a picture). In attempting to pursue its own happiness and blow its magma load all over Iceland, Eyjafjallajokull hired hockey bear and rented three F14s from Pakistan under the guise of a NATO peace keeping mission to find Trolololololololo man after his dastardly deeds in Marchifornication. The ruse worked to perfection to the ruin of us all!
We need a crack team to track these bastards down: Ace, Clayborn, J, Stanzi, Iron Man, Captain Crunch, Count Chocula. We’re callin all cars here, folks!
Keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either, Dude.
by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Apr 20, 2010 9:07 AM CDT reply actions
This will all be over...
As soon as we can find someone to declare “Mission Accomplished!”
Who's leg do I have to hump to get a drink around here?-Brian
Maybe there's still time?
"We just forgot our pants. Nothing against the team or anything like that." -- take a guess
You know, this Adam Jacobi is starting to write some good stuff
He’s still got a long way to go before he reaches OPS though… RIP
"I shoot, I score. He shoots, I score." - Dan Gable
I can't decide it that was supposed to be a burn...
or if the sarcasm font was supposed to be enabled.
Either way… I face-palmed myself there. It was bad. I had coworkers looking at me funny. I don’t care.
Master of the convoluted IOWA cheers!
by EnergizerHawk on Apr 20, 2010 11:41 AM CDT up reply actions
5 am, eh?
Early start to the holiday. Heh.
Life - it's bigger...bigger than you and you are not me.
by hawkeyeguy85 on Apr 20, 2010 1:08 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
So, he already had an Old Style 30 pack gone?
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Apr 20, 2010 1:58 PM CDT up reply actions
It can't be the real HOCKEYBEAR!
<a href=“http:// ”http://tinyurl.com/yyoa25k" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/yyoa25k" >I call bogus on that being the real Hockeybear. It must be the Anti-Hockeybear.
That can't be the real Hockeybear!
I’m calling bogus on that being the real Hockeybear.
<a href=“http:// ”http://tinyurl.com/yyoa25k" target="_blank">http://tinyurl.com/yyoa25k" target="new"> http://tinyurl.com/yyoa25k
If at first you don't succeed.
Try and fail again.
Formatting guide in the comment box is probably your safest bet. It makes things like hyperlinks incredibly easy. Some quotes around your link title and a colon leading to the URL save you all that HTML work.
by The Mexican't on Apr 20, 2010 4:33 PM CDT up reply actions
Personally
I’m just waiting for Diegu to get on this thread and ask why an Iowa football site would have as its volcanolgy as its primary interest.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
Harassing the newbies
Gotta love it.
It's not that I'm lazy, Bob, it's that I just don't care
ONLY THE STRONG WILL SURVIVE
"can your nerd powers explain what this dude is doing in the thread above? I think we’re already defeated"
by ReadingRambler on Apr 20, 2010 6:08 PM CDT up reply actions
Look
I’m more than willing to concede that Diegu is running some sort of mega-meta comedy here, the likes of which we mere mortals can’t hope to comprehend. And if that is the case, I will gladly, and proudly, stand up and doff my cap to him for a game well played. Because that would be an act of high-comedy that none of us could ever hope to equal.
I ate the blue ones ... they taste like burning.
I think Diegu is still awaiting the article detailing AC's awesome-ness.
by The Mexican't on Apr 20, 2010 4:34 PM CDT up reply actions
Well this doesn't have anything to do with his awesome-ness, so there's really nothing to see here.
It's not that I'm lazy, Bob, it's that I just don't care
Yeah
He probably would have wondered how other another discussion on this site developed into a debate on guitar players, as well as a fanpost about Noble Pils.
Tigers love pepper... they hate cinnamon.
by White Lightning on Apr 21, 2010 10:30 PM CDT up reply actions
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