MARCHIFORNICATION, ROUND 3: RETURN OF PAKISTANZI
by Patrick Vint on Apr 1, 2010 2:15 PM CDT
in Iowa Hawkeyes Game Threads
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I can't believe that Paterno won't do business with me just because I'm Irish. I'm not even Irish! I'm Samoan or something! I can try to take Stanzi down alone again...but no, that won't work. I need JoePa, damn it! Maybe I can scare the old bastard into helping me. Yeah, that might wo...
FREEZE
ARF ARF /fires warning shot over PAKISTANZI's head The jig is up, PAKISTANZI!
That's Pah-kee-stahnzi. What was that? You're pronouncing it incorrectly. It's Pah-kee-stahnzi, with more of an "ah" sound on the A's. Oh. Thanks, President Obama! Haters gonna hate. Wait, where did he go?
There he is, running into Beaver Stadium Beaver Stadium LOL LOL LOL Let's get him!
-- Five minutes later, in the basement of Beaver Stadium --
I don't see him I don't either We might be lost I can't believe we're lost in Beaver Stadium Beaver Stadium LOL LOL LOL RARFL
TROLOLOLOLO Yeah, LO wait, what did you say? TROLOLOLOLO /opens polyester jacket to show pistol Let's golololololo
-- Basement of Beaver Stadium LOL, in a holding cell usually inhabited by KevinHD --
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THAT! YOU WERE SO DISTRACTED BY THE NAME OF THE STADIUM THAT YOU COMPLETELY MISSED A RUSSIAN GUY IN A CHEAP POLYESTER SUIT SNEAK UP BEHIND YOU! THAT WASN'T EVEN A REAL GUN! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!
/shows metric ruler painted silver I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT LOST IN A FOOTBALL STADIUM! IT'S JUST A BIG BOWL OF CONCRETE, NOT A HOUSE OF MIRRORS! /points to Clayborn Don't talk to this guy about Mears AMIRITE! REALLY, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN NOT TO FOLLOW ME INTO BASEMENTS? NOW I CAN SCARE JOEPA INTO HELPING ME DESTROY STANZI ONCE AND FOR ALL! MY PLAN IS COMPLETE! THE TRAP HAS BEEN SET! I JUST NEED A NEW DISGUISE. /puts on mask NO LONGER AM I PAKI O'MEARA! NO LONGER AM I PAKISTANZI! NOW I AM...
...CLAYBO'MEARA!
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I think the baseball draft the other night
Finally pushed you over the edge.
Black and Gold Blood: Cubbie Blue Heart
Follow me on Twitter: @MattLaCasse
No, HS fell over that edge years ago.
And JoePa is not going to be happy about Trololololo guy helping someone else.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Apr 1, 2010 2:29 PM CDT up reply actions
Trolololololo is clearly a mercenary, just in it for whoever has the most rubles.
JoePa has made alliances of convenience in the past, such as with Cornshoe when he needed help bumping off Old Man Bobbuh Bowden.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
This story is turning out to be Homerian.
Does the Pulitzer Prize Committee give anything for internet writing?
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 3:15 PM CDT reply actions
No, but if you're really good
they’ll send you back to 2008 and let you take Braylon Edward’s spot on the HBO hit Everybody Loves Hatred.
I know about your diabolical plan.
Something about the Claybo'Meara picture...
…reminds me of The Onion story with the headline “Kitten Thinks of Nothing but Murder, All Day Long.” Not sure why, but…. it frightens me.
by Eyeheartfreedumb on Apr 1, 2010 3:17 PM CDT reply actions
Yet more perfection...
Including the fact that the “Haters gonna hate” gif is from right outside the main lounge of the IMU, in the Sunporch area.
This is all just an excuse for you to photoshop a) JoePa's head onto Paki's head, and b) Paki's head onto a naked mole rat.
Not that I dislike this or anything.
Unproductive since August 21st, 2008.
Claybo'Meara's eyes follow me around the room, it's spooky
"There are only three certainties in college football: all players will eventually leave, the ACC will be bad, and Joe Paterno ", Clay Travis, CNNsi Fanhouse
It's the pinnacle of portraiture is more like it.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Apr 1, 2010 7:08 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
+ 1 kagillion fillion.
I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
-- Judge Smails
by WaterlooChazz on Apr 1, 2010 9:27 PM CDT up reply actions
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