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Around SBN: SB Nation interviews Jerome Bettis

Stanzi Will Outlive Us All

[Bumped, obviously.--AJ]

One of the interesting things about the internet is that it never lies.  So I was impressed when I found this helpful graph on an ancestry website:

Stanzi-fact1_medium

Source: http://www.ancestry.com/facts/stanzi-life-expectancy.ashx

An interesting graph to be sure: Stanzi's life expectancy grew by 15 years between 1990 and 1996.  The social scientist in me felt obliged to put together a helpful chart that projects these trends into the future:

Star-divide

Stanzi-fact2_medium

Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages.

[Editor's note: If this is indeed the case--and we have zero reason to doubt so--would Leman-Stanzi 2012 still make sense for America? You don't want Stanzi to exhaust his Presidential eligibility too soon, after all.]

3 recs  |  Comment 22 comments |

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Hmm.

That’s cool and all, but here’s the moral I see: JOIN US, CAIRO. DON’T BE AFRAID.

"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep

by ReadingRambler on Mar 8, 2010 6:08 PM CST reply actions  

You can't fool me

that’s a chart. And that means he’s secretly a Georgia Tech fan.

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Mar 8, 2010 7:42 PM CST up reply actions  

No

I am merely a social observer, observing in my neutral capacity that QB12 has some sort of restorative power. It rationalizes the losses PSU fans have recorded against him.

by Cairo on Mar 9, 2010 9:25 AM CST up reply actions  

Right, right.

That’s how it started for me. Don’t fight it; it will hurt less when the time comes.

"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages." - Cairo

by ReadingRambler on Mar 9, 2010 9:49 AM CST up reply actions  

Wooing our people

will not stop the pwnership. INSERT DANIEL MURRAY KICK PHOTO HERE

"You're going to go out there with a dick full of confidence. Then, you're going to go out there and shoot that confidence all over the stadium." -Blue Mountain State

by Hawkaloogie on Mar 8, 2010 6:35 PM CST reply actions  

"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages." - Cairo

by ReadingRambler on Mar 8, 2010 6:49 PM CST up reply actions  

That's just crazy talk

Zombie Paterno head wasn’t alive to begin with. Technically, you know.

It never gets to be easy

by chitownhawkeye on Mar 8, 2010 8:46 PM CST up reply actions  

I'm going to assume this was supposed to make PSU fans feel bad or something.

But I am impressed by Joe Paterno’s Head’s ability to mount rockets in such a small space.

"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages." - Cairo

by ReadingRambler on Mar 8, 2010 9:17 PM CST up reply actions  

untrue

I would never want a PSU fan to feel bad.

No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer

by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 8, 2010 11:02 PM CST up reply actions  

It sort of looks like

Zombie Paterno Head turned into a giant turkey.

Zombie Paterno Turkey for Thanksgiving this year?

by HeroPatriotStanzi on Mar 9, 2010 9:47 AM CST reply actions  

While we're channeling FTRS...

http://graphjam.com/2010/03/04/funny-graphs-success-is/

Keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either, Dude.

by AcrimoniousAngerererer on Mar 9, 2010 10:33 AM CST reply actions  

I get that reference.

Do I win a prize?

"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages." - Cairo

by ReadingRambler on Mar 9, 2010 3:43 PM CST up reply actions  

He even used the accents on the vowels.

+1000 nerd points for you, sir.

Brunettes not fighter jets

by rockyh on Mar 9, 2010 4:09 PM CST up reply actions  

Well,

1. Sorry, you don’t get a prize. You only get the label of: Bad Ass Tolkein Enthusiast.
2. It’s not like it took me any time to make the accents, I bookmarked The Encyclopedia of Arda and use it for quick LOTR references.
3. For what I said in #2, I am a nerd.

A Voice From Kinnick - A Hawkeye Blog

by mikjones24 on Mar 9, 2010 4:18 PM CST up reply actions  

Bad Ass Tolkein Enthusiast?

I guess that makes a few of you master BATE-ers.

by With Ferentz Like These... on Mar 9, 2010 6:34 PM CST reply actions  

Yes.

"Based on my estimates, it appears that Stanzi shall transcend the ages." - Cairo

by ReadingRambler on Mar 9, 2010 7:13 PM CST up reply actions  

KARATE!

I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks

by Adam Jacobi on Mar 9, 2010 8:23 PM CST up reply actions  

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