MARCHIFORNICATION ROUND 1: T. M. F. SASH vs. THE BARBASOL COUPLE
by Adam Jacobi on Mar 4, 2010 12:00 PM CST
in Events
87 comments
BOB ZOOK REGION, SEED #4: TYLER MOTHERFUCKING SASH
PROS:
- Is the awesomest fan-picture in BHGP history
- Was briefly DJK's facebook picture
- Namesake is on Twitter
CONS:
BOB ZOOK REGION, SEED #5: THE BARBASOL COUPLE
PROS:
- Looking good
- Handsome, free, and tall
- Secretly bankrolling the campaign of Leman/Stanzi 2012
- Are also both on Twitter!
CONS:
- Those pancakes may be poisoned
- Prefer the huggin' to the jimmer-jammin'
- Abandoned their loyal Big Ten audience to appear on that turdstravaganza "The Marriage Ref" show
1 recs |
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Barbasol peaked two months ago.
I voted for them, but this isn’t even gonna be close.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
Their poor showing in the conference tournament should have been an indicator
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2010 12:15 PM CST up reply actions
I was torn. I had to go with the gut
And vote TMFS, but I thought Barbasol would have a better showing than it has.
by The Mexican't on Mar 4, 2010 12:27 PM CST up reply actions
Barbasol had my vote until they dissed the BTN last night.
After sitting through that miserable debacle of a game, I was at least hoping for the Barbasol tune to put a smile on my face for 30 seconds. But no. Nothing.
Now my vote is undecided.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
Close shave, BarbaSash
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2010 12:19 PM CST reply actions 5 recs
Sash's face is perfect for that shot.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Mar 4, 2010 12:20 PM CST up reply actions
HFMR
I don’t know what we’d do without your fantastic photoshopping-without-Photoshop skills. Great stuff, again, sir.
by The Mexican't on Mar 4, 2010 12:28 PM CST up reply actions
You'd probably just find someone who's better at it
But thanks. You’re a beautiful man.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2010 12:38 PM CST up reply actions
Which program is it that you use, again?
I remember you saying it wasn’t Photoshop, but that’s about it.
by The Mexican't on Mar 4, 2010 1:11 PM CST up reply actions
I actually have Photoshop now, I just don't know how to use it.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2010 1:19 PM CST up reply actions
Paint.net
is a pretty good poor man’s Photoshop. And it’s free.
http://www.getpaint.net/
In 100 years, we'll all be dead.
Thank you, sir.
Of course the site isn’t Mac compatible. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
by The Mexican't on Mar 4, 2010 1:58 PM CST up reply actions
Photshop drools.
MS Paint rules.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2010 12:43 PM CST up reply actions
So rec'd.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2010 12:44 PM CST up reply actions
He's a trucker
He drives all day with his arm out the window and thus it is intensely tan.
Why he’s hanging his right arm out the window, though, I have no idea.
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2010 4:35 PM CST up reply actions
I imagine BarbasolSash is capable of driving with his back to the road.
Having a driver’s tan won’t fly with Barbasol wife.
by The Mexican't on Mar 4, 2010 4:40 PM CST up reply actions
This may be one of the most lopsided 4 v. 5 matchups in Marchifornication History
Ankles! We don't need no stinking ankles!
by three and out the kok story on Mar 4, 2010 12:20 PM CST reply actions
Not on paper.
This kinda feels like Purdue going into the tournament as a 1 seed…without Hummel. There’s just something missing from Barbasol.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2010 12:44 PM CST up reply actions
TMFS
When was the last time we saw Stanzi without about a week’s worth of growth on his face? The Stanzi factor alone defeats Barbasol.
"Well of course, there's nothing better than being American!!!" - Ricky Americanzi, Jan. 5th, 2010
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 4, 2010 12:21 PM CST reply actions
I've always been
an Edge man, myself. Comes out as a gel then WHOOSH turns into lather.
I’m also fascinated by shiny objects from time to time.
In 100 years, we'll all be dead.
I'm fascinated by shiny objects all the time
Which gives it to TMFS’s graphic
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 4, 2010 5:05 PM CST up reply actions
Just a thought while looking at the TMFS picture.
Is there anyway we can get this on a T-shirt!!?!?!?
I dont care if it's illegal. Can it be done?
Do I have permission to do this? A Tyler MotherFucking Sash T-shirt would be the greatest thing i own.
by tyler slasher on Mar 4, 2010 1:17 PM CST up reply actions
Why do you need permissing from BHGP?
Who’s to stop you from making your own shirt with any image you like?
by The Mexican't on Mar 4, 2010 1:19 PM CST up reply actions
Because its not my picture.
And if I remember correctly, it has a copyright. and 1st of all, im not gonna fuck someone over here on BGHP. 2nd of all, no way am I gonna fuck with someone who has a 69 in his username.
by tyler slasher on Mar 4, 2010 1:22 PM CST up reply actions
It's definitely not copyrighted.
HOWEVAH, it does have an athlete’s name on it, so it can’t be sold AND I’m pretty sure the screenprinter can’t profit off of it either. I’m not as sure about that, though, nor do I imagine it’s very enforceable.
But it definitely can’t go through BHGP. One C&D is enough.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
If you don't mind me asking...
What was the first C&D for? The Korea thing?
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2010 1:30 PM CST up reply actions
The word "Greene" on a shirt last year.
I’m pretty sure the University doesn’t issue cease and desist letters for geographical inaccuracies.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Thanks.
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2010 1:32 PM CST up reply actions
You got a C&D for a Greene shirt?
It wasn’t the Stanzi shirt?
by The Mexican't on Mar 4, 2010 1:52 PM CST up reply actions
Since the BHGP shirts
don’t actually say “Stanzi”, they are probably safe. Copyright, trademark and Fair Use have plenty of gray area but parody and satire are generally protected.
In 100 years, we'll all be dead.
Wait, shit, you're right.
It was “Stanzi is the Manzi.” My fault.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Which quashes future use of
“Vandenberg is the Mandenberg”
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 4, 2010 4:40 PM CST up reply actions
But "Heismandenberg" lives.
A blimp that looks like a football, maybe? Probably not a great idea to associate our QB of the future with the ultimate FAIL of all time, though…
by The Mexican't on Mar 4, 2010 4:44 PM CST up reply actions
"Clayborn is my Gay Porn"...
er, no.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 4, 2010 4:45 PM CST up reply actions 1 recs
I was always hoping for a shirt that said...
“A.C. Slaughter” Maybe a number on it too. and “Beatin’ Down the Preppies” on the back.
I'm all for that
mark me down for one as well
by HeroPatriotStanzi on Mar 5, 2010 9:56 AM CST up reply actions
What would you do
with 13?!? Are you into quilting?
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 7, 2010 11:44 AM CST up reply actions
Hell yes
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2010 8:11 PM CST up reply actions
This could look good
Front:
Back:
It would also look good in maize and blue #5, red and white #16, old gold, white and navy #9…
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 6, 2010 11:47 AM CST up reply actions
It was for both.
Before you respond, let me remind you: Brian Cook called me smug, which makes me the Obama of smugness. I'm basically Smugbama.
by Hawkeye State on Mar 5, 2010 12:57 PM CST up reply actions
Wait
You’re asking for permission but don’t care if it’s legal? Just do it, man.
It never gets to be easy
by chitownhawkeye on Mar 4, 2010 5:07 PM CST up reply actions
You could take the image to a local screenprinter and they could slap it on a shirt for ya.
NCAA regs keep anyone from selling shirts with images of players (I think).
by The Mexican't on Mar 4, 2010 1:13 PM CST up reply actions
Might have to shop around
A lot of printing / T-Shirt companies won’t touch a product they believe has copyright or trademark issues. They don’t want to get sued.
In 100 years, we'll all be dead.
I played basketball with a kid who had that image on a shirt a couple weeks back
I asked him if he was a BHGP and he gave me a look like I was an idiot, and said it was DJKs picture on facebook. Of course, I had the creators back and told him it came from one of the readers of this blog, but I don’t think he could have cared any less. It wasn’t near big enough on his shirt anyway, so he can just go to hell.
It's not that I'm lazy, Bob, it's that I just don't care
Because you definitely should have.
Or at least kicked him in the nuts.
by The Mexican't on Mar 4, 2010 3:59 PM CST up reply actions
Sadly, I did not
But I did get stuck guarding him and the hell if he scored all game.
It's not that I'm lazy, Bob, it's that I just don't care
Barbasol stopped loving us when they chose THE MARRIAGE REF over BTN.
"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"
That's right.
They left us, we didn’t leave them.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Mar 4, 2010 1:03 PM CST up reply actions
GOD DAMN PLYMOUTH ROCK
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2010 1:33 PM CST up reply actions
We didn't land on Plymouth Rock
Plymouth Rock landed on Mars!
by Zaquille O'Neal on Mar 4, 2010 1:44 PM CST up reply actions
No
Fraggle Rock landed on America.
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 4, 2010 4:48 PM CST up reply actions
(clap) (clap)
No self-respecting man from Iowa goes anywhere without beer
by Hayden Fry's Moustache Ride on Mar 4, 2010 6:08 PM CST up reply actions
I think you mean
Dance your cares away (clap) (clap) worries for another day, right?
by shada's revenge on Mar 4, 2010 9:30 PM CST up reply actions
HFMR's minimalist approach got the job done
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 5, 2010 6:44 AM CST up reply actions
NO, Ross, YOU ARE WRONG (CAPS INTENTIONALLY LEFT ON!)
The Barbasol couple left the WISCONSIN – IOWA game. Can you blame them? Huh? Can you? That’s right, now change your f’n vote now.
I hated this matchup, it made me feel dirty.
It’s the toughest one yet. I went with Jimmer Jammin only becuase that blew my face off more than Barbosal. Not to worry Barbosal Inc. Corp., I did order my wife to never buy gillette shaving cream again, then showed her why.
Because of Pancakes?
"Well of course, there's nothing better than being American!!!" - Ricky Americanzi, Jan. 5th, 2010
by The Bacon Explosion on Mar 4, 2010 1:51 PM CST up reply actions
Life as a G
Where were you when we needed you last night for the Guy Rucker discussion?
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 4, 2010 2:25 PM CST up reply actions
Life as a G
Now that would make a good BHGP t-shirt.
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Mar 4, 2010 2:42 PM CST up reply actions
Agreed
OPS actually had a fairly decent paint version of the tattoo in the game thread last night. Unfortunately it appears no adequate picture exists on the entire internet, so getting a faithful representation on paper would depend entirely on someone’s memory.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 4, 2010 3:11 PM CST up reply actions
No, it would need to be MS Paint to comply with the Beyond Photoshop section of the BHGP Charter.
"Do a flip!" - Bender B. Rodriguez
by Bucketochicken on Mar 4, 2010 8:45 PM CST up reply actions
There was a Life as a G discussion without me?!
I don’t post a lot, but if its about my homey Guy then I should.
Definitely TMFS
I’m in a place where they want an extra $10 a month for BTN, so I’ve never actually seen the Barbasol commercial. Also, I have close ties to Proctor & Gamble, so Barbasol can suck it.
I love TMFS, but I thought Barbasol would roll
My bracket is in shambles right now.
...
I am seriously disappointed in all of you. You trucker-hating, pancake-despising, unshaven savages.
America, you're looking good: handsome, free and tall.
by Close Shave America on Mar 4, 2010 3:56 PM CST reply actions
I did not expect a beatdown like this.
In fact, I figured Barbasol would win pretty easily.
I got more rhymes than Wade Lookingbill's got dunks
Americans have short memories
and we have moved on:
“I’m on a horse”
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 4, 2010 4:50 PM CST up reply actions
This is clearly a Stanzi/Leman conspiracy.
Cornering the market on patriotism is a political tactic necessary to Stanzi’s Marchifornication championship and the ticket’s eventual electoral success. Barbasol just came along at the wrong time. I fully support Stanzi, but I feel robbed.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 4, 2010 4:59 PM CST reply actions
BTW
If I want that photoshopped Barbasol note framed on my wall:
“Welcome Motherfucking Home
XOXO”
In that exact handwriting. It would be fucking awesome. Plus it would totally tie the room together.
by PurpleMonkeyDishwasher on Mar 4, 2010 5:17 PM CST reply actions
God help me
I can’t resist a suggestive pancake dinner by candlelight made by a hottie wearing a flannel shirt and a smile. Damn you Barbasol, you’ve found my one weakness. Well that and boobs.
That twitter feed: "Flannel is the new lace"
Gold
"It’s just that, reading through this thread, it appears you’re getting your ass kicked." -jtothep
by ReadingRambler on Mar 4, 2010 8:12 PM CST up reply actions
Looks like I won't be able to post what I have wanted to all day
So I will do it anyway: “Close shave Tyler MotherFucking Sash, close shave indeed.”
But you'll still have the chance
to taunt hockeybear with:
“That Sash is a bad mutha…”
“Shut yo’ mouth!”
“Just Talkin’ ’bout Sash!”
Less memorable than Sam Okey's Hawkeye career.
by Kyle McCann't on Mar 5, 2010 6:49 AM CST up reply actions
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